by Ni-Ni Simone
Finally it was lunchtime and I could sit down and talk to Shae about how I was feeling, about Josiah, and everything that happened last night. And of course I couldn’t wait to hear what action she and Melvin had gotten into.
When I went to the cafeteria, Shae, Yaanah, Ki-Ki, and Deeyah were all sitting at a table together. From the look on Shae’s face, this was not her idea.
“Yo, Cornbread!” Melvin yelled as I walked to the table and sat next to Shae. He sat a tray of food in front of her and said, “That’s for my boo.”
Heck. I looked around for Josiah, who was sitting at a table with his boys gettin’ a serious grub on. Dang, for a quick minute I was hatin’. “Look at you.” I smiled at Shae who was glowing.
“Wow,” Ki-Ki said, “look at you, Shae. And to think I’ve been feeling sorry for you.”
“Sorry for me?” Shae frowned. “For what?”
“Uhmmm, nothing ... at least not yet.”
“So, Seven,” Deeyah snapped, cutting across Ki-Ki, “no need to lie. You tryna get with Josiah? You know he don’t like fat girls. He only gon’ use you to do his work and get straight As.”
“And what he use you for?” I snapped. “ ’Cause it sure wasn’t your grades.”
“You’re a miserable slob,” Deeyah said that so loud that the entire cafeteria became quiet. “And word is that you a ho, ’cause you don’t even know Josiah and already you sleeping with him. And I won’t mention what else you doing that’s hittin’ below the belt!”
“Oh, heck no!” Shae jumped up. “What you wanna throw Deeyah?! ’Cause you ain’t ’bout to be talking to my girl like that!”
“Your girl. Oh, please!” Deeyah snapped. “Play it, Ki-Ki.” And at that moment Ki-Ki whipped out her cell phone and played my entire conversation about me being in love with Josiah and wanting him for myself, and me not caring that he was Deeyah’s boyfriend. I couldn’t believe this. She had recorded our conversation? Is that why she kept playing with her cell phone that day? Oh ... my ... God ... I don’t believe this. I had never been so humiliated in my life. Everybody, including Josiah, was looking at me like I was crazy.
“Excuse you,” Shae snapped, “but I know y’all skeezin’—sleezin’—skanky—havin’ crab—coochie infected—boostin’ behinds—are not tryna scream on my girl?! ’Cause I really don’t know what you showin’ off for. Everybody knows you’ve slept with every Tom, Dick, and Raheem in here. Excuse you, but please remind me, Seven, of who got suspended last year for being caught in the janitor’s closet with Khalil?”
“Ki-Ki.”
“Thank you. And who was pregnant by Sef at the same time that Yaanah was going with him, huh?”
“Deeyah.”
“And what happened to that baby?”
“Let’s just say she had to pray for forgiveness.”
“And for an extra added bonus”—Shae sucked her teeth and pointed at Yaanah—“in case you even thinkin’ about gettin’ involved, Seven, please tell me who is still a virgin but tryna her best not to keep it funky?”
“Yaanah.”
“Oh, y’all trippin’ real hard!” Ki-Ki said in disbelief. “Okay, well how about this: ’least my mother ain’t a beggin’ fiend on the street.” She looked at Shae.
“My mother’s a nurse in Tennessee. She’s nobody’s fiend and she don’t beg on the street.”
“Well, if it’s a lie then, ya girl, that you was just shootin’ all that ra-ra over, told it.” And as if on cue, Ki-Ki’s phone continued to play the rest of our conversation ... Shae’s mother begs on the street. She’s been a fiend all her life ...
Shae looked at me with tears in her eyes. “You told her that?”
“She told everybody that. She’s always talking about you,” Deeyah lied. “We’ve always known, we just felt sorry for you, ’cause we all knew that your daddy doubled as your mommy!”
I could tell that Shae wanted to cry. “She’s lying! Stop lying!” I shouted at Deeyah. I reached over the table to Ki-Ki, who backed away: “Tell the truth!” I looked back at Shae and said, “I was talking up for you that day. That was on Sunday when Ki-Ki was sitting on my porch ... and you know what happened. I was protecting you. I would never talk about you. You gotta believe me.”
“Don’t ever”—Shae’s bottom lip trembled—“say nothing to me. You were supposed to be my best friend and this is what you do? I swear to God, I hate you!” And she ran out the cafeteria.
Everybody was looking at me and I felt worse than a gutter rat. “That’s messed up, Shawtie,” Melvin said to me as he left to find Shae. “Yo, Cornbread, hol’ up.”
Suddenly all I could see was red. I reached for Ki-Ki, grabbed her by the collar, and with all my might dragged her over the lunch table. But before I could wham on her, Josiah pulled me off her and stood between us. “Go sit down!” he said sternly to Ki-Ki.
“Bring it!” Ki-Ki kept screaming. “Bring it! No, don’t hold me back!” she spat at some of our other classmates who held her back by her arms.
The entire cafeteria was in an uproar and it was only a matter of moments before the principal would be in here telling us he was calling our parents and sending us home.
“No, you bring it Ki-Ki. You comin’ for my throat and I didn’t even do nothing to you! Please step to me so I can teach you a lesson or two!”
“Yo, what I say? Calm down!” Josiah said to me. “You gon’ blow your honors status and everything you worked for in school for some jealous little chicken-head. Forget her!” Then he turned to Deeyah. “And you, it’s mighty funny how you tryna rag on Seven when you were just in my face a minute ago tryna give it up to me in the hallway, even though I told you then it was all about her and I wasn’t feeling you no more!”
“You a chicken-head, Josiah!” Ki-Ki screamed.
He didn’t respond. Instead he kept telling me to calm down but that’s when I started crying and stormed out. By the time I got to my locker to collect my things, Josiah was behind me. “Where you going?” he asked.
“I’m leaving.”
“Why?”
“Because I gotta find Shae and I just saw her run out the door. I need her to understand that it wasn’t like that! I would never do that!” Tears were flowing down my face like rain. “That’s my best friend. I love her like my sister, Josiah. You don’t understand.”
He stood there for a moment and looked at me. “Stop crying.”
“No.” I pushed him, but he didn’t go anywhere. “Move!”
“Naw, we’ve done enough running. I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you.”
“I need to find Shae.”
“You need to chill.”
“You don’t understand. I’m leaving.” I attempted to push past him. But instead of him letting me get by, he took the goose-down vest he wore over his Enyce hoodie, zipped it up, and enclosed me in it. Now we were chest to chest and I couldn’t possibly move. “What are you doing?”
“I’m not letting you go. I want you to calm down.”
All I could do was cry into his chest and explain to him in between my tears what happened. He wiped my eyes. “Shae’ll come around, just give her a minute.”
“I hope so.” I looked up at him.
“Me, too.” He held his head down and as if on instinct our faces moved toward one another. I closed my eyes and as if Christmas, New Year’s, and the Fourth of July had all come at once, we kissed passionately, and for a moment I was able to forget everything bad that had existed.
9
Sittin’ up in my room
I must confess I’m a mess for you ...
—BRANDY, “SITTIN’ UP IN MY ROOM”
I lay back on my bed with my bare feet pressed against the wall and my head turned to the side. The volume on my radio was low but the words to Aaliyah’s “One In A Million” seduced my ears as if I were seeing her in concert, as my hot pink lava lamp illuminated my dark bedroom. Toi had been complaining about her bed making her back hurt, so she was in the living room asleep on the pu
llout couch.
I kept looking at my red plastic phone shaped like a pair of lips, wondering why it hadn’t rang. Josiah promised he would call after he came home from his game in south Jersey. I wish I had Shae to talk me through this, but being that she’d ex’d me out of her life, I was all alone. For a moment I wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her. I couldn’t stand feeling like this and I knew that hearing Josiah’s voice and making up with Shae was the only cure.
Just as the D.J. played Destiny Child’s “T-Shirt,” my phone rang ... Wait a minute, the phone rang? Was my phone ringing? I quickly looked at the clock and it read two AM. For a moment I wondered if it was Shae calling. Then I looked down at the caller ID for confirmation. But it wasn’t Shae, it was my longtime love—my boo to the ninth power—okay that was a lil’ corny, right? Okay, I’ll admit I’m being extra but I can’t breathe and my heart is having a stroke. Should I be sexy or sleepy? Okay—okay—okay—okay—whatever I decide, I need to hurry up before he hangs up.
“Hello?” I said sleepily. I figured that was better than sounding the way I really felt.
“Seven,” he said, “you ’sleep?”
“Yeah ...” I made a sound like I was stretching. “I was.”
“My fault. I can see you in school tomorrow,” he said, about to hang up.
“No, you good. Wassup?” I wanted to scream, Can’t you tell I would’ve waited all night for you?!
“You, that’s wassup. Didn’t I tell you I was gon’ call?”
You sure did, I thought to myself, and I was wondering what took you so long.
“I know,” he continued, “you were wondering what took me so long.”
“No, actually I forgot.” I hoped he couldn’t tell I was lying through my teeth.
“You forgot?” He laughed a little. “How you gon’ forget your man?”
I couldn’t stop smiling and it seemed like the drops in my lava lamp were giving me a high-five. I wanted to scream but I knew I couldn’t blow my cool. I was tempted to spit out, Just tell me you love me boy, but instead I took a deep breath and said, “Oh, so you my man now? Thanks for asking.”
“You know how I do.”
I knew I was about to sound stupid, but I had to ask, “How long have you been checking for me?”
“You not about to sweat yourself, are you?” He laughed.
“Would you tell me?”
“Ai’ight, ma, for a minute. I can’t remember how long. I didn’t keep track of the time. All I know is that I saw you on your porch this summer, smiling, and ever since then, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“And what else?” I pressed. Heck, how often does a girl get the one man of her dreams to admit all of this?
“Ai’ight now, I’m not about to sit up here and gas you all night like some lil’ punk and then when you get mad, I’m all on blast about how I was crying in your ear.”
“Is that what you did with Deeyah? Cried in her ear?”
“You ain’t ready for what I did with Deeyah.”
Now that caught me off-guard. “Okay ...” I stalled. “So what’s your favorite color?”
Josiah fell out laughing. “There you go again. You like to avoid things, don’t you? Why you always running?”
“I don’t run. I get out of breath too easily, plus it sweats my hair out.”
“Be serious.” I could hear him trying not to laugh.
I took a deep breath. “Ai’ight, I run, sometimes, when I don’t know what else to do. Or say—”
“That’s not gon’ solve your problems.”
“No, but it makes it so I don’t have to play my issues so close.”
“Why don’t you talk about what’s on your mind?”
“Because right now there’s a million things on my mind and it would take up too much time.”
“I got all the time in the world for you,” he said.
I didn’t have a response, so I was quiet.
“Runnin’ again, huh? Is that why you don’t have a boyfriend,” he said. “You ran ’em all away?”
“Ah un rudeness! No, you didn’t. Me not having a boyfriend is a choice.”
“And how long ago did you make that choice?”
“Last year.”
“Last year?” He sounded as if he couldn’t believe it. “Who you date last year? I ain’t see nobody around you last year. But, you know”—he paused—“there was a rumor about you and Dollah. That’s why I ain’t kick it to you then.”
I almost peed on myself. Dollah was the holdup to me fulfilling my destiny? “What are you talking about a rumor? You wait till I see Dollah and see don’t I check his chin and slide him all at one time!”
“Dang, ma, I was just joking about the Dollah thing. Why you so sensitive? You liked him or something?”
“Why you say that?” I know I should’ve told the truth but I was too nervous to.
“I’m just asking.”
“Well un-ask.”
“Fall back, boo. I’m just sayin’, if anything, now’s the time to tell me, ’cause once you become wifey I’m not gon’ wanna hear it.”
“I thought you said you were my man already and besides, what difference does it make? You think you the only one that can like me?”
“Come on, ma, don’t play me like that. You too fine for me to be the only one liking you. Know what, your voice is too sweet for you to be getting mad, so let’s chill about the Dollah thing and tell me what happened with the last boyfriend you had. Where was he from?”
Why didn’t I just tell the truth? “He lived around the corner from me.” I wanted to hurry and get off this subject. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Why? I wanna know why y’all broke up.”
“Because I found out he was using me.”
“Using you?”
“Yeah, I overheard him saying to his friends that he liked me because I spent all my money on him.” I left out the giving up the booty part.
“Word?” Josiah asked.
“Word. He figured I was fat and needed him to be my boyfriend or something, so he tried to make me pay for him, literally.”
“That’s messed up.”
“Plus he used to always tell me, ‘You look good for a big girl. I likes me some big girls.’ Big girls this and big girls that. After a while I was like dang, do you even know me?”
“So what, you don’t like reppin’ for the big girls?”
“No,” I said a little too quickly. “I like to rep for me, Seven, and not for no big-behind girl.” Why did I feel like I was about to cry? I cannot be this corny. “And if that’s what you think or what you like me for, because you think I’m some stupid lil’ fat chick looking to buy a boy’s attention, you got me messed all the way up!”
“Wo, calm all that down, ma, ’cause I ain’t ole boy and that’s who you need to reserve all that extra base in your throat for. Now peep this, I’m diggin’ you. Period. Yeah, you a lil’ thick, but so what? You workin’ it. You fly at all times. Me, I like your smile, the way you laugh with your eyes when you find something is funny. The way one of your dimples sits a little higher than the other. The way you fold your bottom lip into your mouth when you get nervous. I like you, the entire package of you. So don’t ever come at me like that again. I just left a chick I could use, so I’m not looking for that. I’m checking for Seven, trying to make her my best friend and then my wife.”
I must be a dummy, because tears were streaming from my eyes. I couldn’t think of what to say next so I started to get this all over with and ask him to marry me.
“Ai’ight, Flo Jo”—he laughed—“ ’cause I know you looking for someplace to run—”
“Ai’ight, bye.” Now I know I said that too fast, especially since I knew I wasn’t gon’ hang up that easily.
“Dang, well how long you been wantin’ to hang up?”
“Well, I ain’t mean to say it like that, but I figured since it was getting late”—I looked at the clock and over an hou
r had gone by—“you wanted to hang up since you had such a long day.”
“Nah, you good, ma.”
“Okay, so how was your game?”
Josiah and I talked for what felt like forever because I don’t remember hanging up. And although I don’t remember falling to sleep, I know that I just woke up and my alarm clock was going off, which meant it was six o’clock in the morning, so why was the phone still to my ear? That’s when I realized that there was no dial tone and I could still hear breathing. “Josiah?” I said, wondering if he were still on the phone. “Josiah?”
“Yo ... yeah ...” he said groggily. “Wassup?”
“We fell asleep on the phone.”
“I feel so violated,” he joked.
“Ha—ha—ha. Funny.”
“Yo, ma, I gotta go.”
“Yeah, we gotta get ready for school.”
“Ai’ight, now give me a kiss good-bye.”
I pressed my lips to the phone and gave him a kiss.
“Dang, Seven, you need to go brush your teeth.” He cracked up laughing.
“Oule, I’ma catch you dead in the face!”
“For real, ma, I was just playing. Here.” He gave me a kiss through the phone. “Now I’ll see you at school and don’t tell nobody I was blowin’ kisses through no phone either.”
“Ai’ight, boy.” My heart was doing a dance as I hung up. Not even my daddy could get on my nerves today. As I opened my bedroom door I could hear my parents in the kitchen laughing. A sound I hadn’t heard in a long while. I eased out the bed, took a quick shower, and threw on a pair of khaki gauchos and a cap sleeve baby blue tee that read, “I Am A Dream.” I slid on a pair of matching boots and headed into the kitchen to grab something to eat.
My sister was eating a bowl of cereal and both of us were looking at my mother like she was crazy to be sitting up here grinning in my daddy’s face, knowing that by the end of today he was flying back to Cali to be with another woman.
Shae was at the bus stop but she refused to speak to me. I sat in the front of the bus and she sat all the way in the back. All I could say to myself was how I wasn’t going to cry. When we reached our destination she didn’t even look my way. She hopped off the back of the bus and went inside the school.
