by Nicole Thorn
“I will.”
“Good boy. Lean down, you moose, so I can kiss you goodnight.”
I laughed as I fought the urge to play out my daydreams. “Probably not—”
“Hush! S’not weird unless you make it weird.” She yanked me down with more strength than she should have had. “No tongue, I had too many Snickers.” She made no sense, but I couldn’t care less. She pecked my cheek again, and I let the new feeling wash me clean.
She moved back, putting two hands on my face. “Thank you for the car, and for not looking at me like I was what I felt like I was.”
That, I understood. “Never, Lynnie. Go to sleep now.”
She let go of me and nodded again. “Yes. Sleep off the candy.”
I tapped the door with my knuckles. “Lock this.”
“I will, sir.”
I didn’t leave until she closed the door and I heard her lock it behind me.
CHAPTER EIGHT:
R.I.P.
Rocelyn
For some reason, I woke up thinking about s’mores and Deputy Barker. Snickers wrappers covered my bed, and I couldn’t remember what I did last night. There had been some crying. Lots of crying, and then I must’ve fallen asleep. If I thought really hard, I could remember waking up. The deputy had been at the door. He gave me my keys and… oh, God. What did I say to him? I got weird when I felt sleepy. I didn’t have a filter. It could have only gone poorly.
I threw myself out of bed and headed into the shower. The new day didn’t stop for idiocy. I played my music as loud as I could while I washed my hair and sang without shame while the water hit me. I continued my belting even after I got out.
After I got dressed, I walked into my room to find my phone buzzing like crazy. It almost vibrated right off the nightstand. I picked it up and answered just before it could go to voicemail.
“Yeah?” I said, drying my hair with a towel.
“Oh my god!” Bird screamed into the phone. I had to hold it away from me so that I could retain my eardrums.
“Something wrong?”
“Do you ever answer your fucking phone? I’ve been calling you for ten minutes!” She went on for about five solid minutes, and I couldn’t understand half of the things she screamed. It sounded mostly like ramblings about how I needed to consider her feelings.
“Bird!” I yelled to stop her. “What the hell is happening?”
She took a deep breath. “You’d know if you answered the damn phone. Sorry for trying to save you some trouble of having to turn the TV on for the news like some old man.”
“Oh.” I blinked. “Why?”
“Well… don’t freak out. Miss Finch kind of… got a little murdered.”
I stayed quiet for long enough to make Bird yell for me again, but I couldn’t hear her anymore. Finch had died. How? I saw her yesterday. She attacked me yesterday. She had been fine. But…
“Um,” I said. “What happened?” She had wanted me to meet her at her house, and I wondered if she had been murdered there.
“I don’t really know,” Bird said. “She was found in her classroom. The Ripper pinned her to the wall and cut her up the middle. I heard he didn’t take any of her meat because it spilled on the floor. It was super gross. The janitor found her overnight.”
The school was only a few minutes’ drive from my house. It made it feel real. Someone I knew, in a place I had been only a few hours before it happened. I felt my legs get weak and I had to sit down. My head produced violent pictures of what it must have looked like. She must have been in so much pain. I hated her a day ago, but now I pitied her.
“So we’re going shopping,” Bird told me. “We don’t wanna waste the day doing nothing. We’ll be by to get you for breakfast in like ten.”
“Wait,” I said, quickly. “I can’t.”
She scoffed. “You have plans for today?”
Shit. I needed a lie. “No. Sort of. My car’s needed to get an oil change for like a month and a half. My parents are gonna kill me if I don’t get it taken care of.” To get her to back off, I added, “You can come if you want.”
“Um… yeah, no thanks. I’d rather try on some dresses. Seth and I have an anniversary coming up and I wanna make him pass out.”
“No problem. I’ll talk to you guys later. Thanks for calling.”
“Ciao.” She hung up.
I tossed the phone on my bed, needing a minute or two.
Dead. She had died. Here one second and gone the next. I couldn’t seem to accept it. This town had a killer and he could be so close by that it made my heart race. So close. He picked Miss Finch, but he could have picked any woman out there. One of my friends, or another teacher. Part of me wanted to get in my car and drive back to where I came from.
Deputy Barker had to know that the woman had been murdered. I couldn’t let him tell anyone what she did to me. He had been planning on reporting her, and he probably wouldn’t now. But I had to make sure. She didn’t need people’s last memories of her to be of what she did.
Somehow I found the strength to finish getting dressed and pull my shoes on. I didn’t look presentable, but I planned on hiding in my room all day after I saw the deputy. He wouldn’t give a damn what I look like anyway.
On my way to the car, I called my father. Mom would get pissed, but Dad probably wouldn’t get angry over one phone call. He would want to know what happened.
Three rings and he picked up, sounding distracted. “Rocelyn?”
“Hey, Dad. I know I’m not supposed to call you at work, but I need to tell you something.”
“Is everything okay? Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant. It’s too damn early in the morning for that. Didn’t your mother put you on the pill?”
When I was thirteen… “That’s not what’s wrong. My friend just called me. She said that one of our teachers was killed. You know about that serial killer in town, right?”
“Yeah, I heard about him. I was also kidding about the pregnant thing. Don’t take it personally. Anyway, are you sure this isn’t some prank? I mean…” I heard him typing on the other end. “…kids are awful. They could be lying to you.”
I rubbed my hand down my face. “I don’t think so, Dad. It’s probably on the news right now.”
He sighed. “All right then, hon. How about you stay calm and keep inside today. Lock up the doors and order yourself a pizza. I guess you’ll have to unlock the door again when it gets there… but you can lock it again after. I’m sure the pizza man is safe. Tip him…” His voice trailed off as the typing got louder. My fault for looking for comfort while he’s working. Should he get credit for trying? “Take a few days off school.”
“It’s Saturday…” I sighed.
“Ah… well, then definitely stay home.”
Yeah. I already had to deal with the guilt texts I got from Bird for taking off the day before without telling her. She wanted to know why, and I had to lie and say I got sick. Now I had to pile on another lie to my dad. At least he wouldn’t notice.
“I’m gonna go back to sleep,” I told Dad. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Love you, too,” he mumbled and hung up on me.
That went about as well as I figured it would.
I had started walking to the door when panic settled in to form a knot in my stomach. I didn’t want to leave the house. The knot wanted me to stay right there, where I would be safe.
Well… Deputy Barker had been so nice to me the day before. I really should make him some cookies to say thank you. It’s the right thing to do. Plus, all the work he’d been doing had probably stressed him out. Yes, cookies sounded like a good idea.
I went into my giant kitchen that happened to be the only thing that made this house livable. I made sure that I always had everything that I needed in that kitchen, too. Cooking came easier to me, but I liked baking, too. It brought me comfort.
I heated the oven after laying everything out on the counter. I could do this all with my hands tied behind my ba
ck, so it wouldn’t take long. I put my music back on to distract me from the horrible thoughts in my head.
Within fifteen minutes, the cookies went in the oven and I laid on the kitchen island, waiting for them to finish. My legs hung off the edge, moving with the music. I belted out the Halestorm song and wished that I could have one of those wonderful smelling cookies.
The oven dinged and I hopped to my feet. I set the cookies on a cooling rack and rummaged for a container to put them in. I grabbed a Post-It and wrote: To Deputy Barker, Love Lynn, just in case he hadn’t come in when I showed up.
Once the cookies cooled, I tested one and put the rest in the container. Hopefully he liked chocolate chip. Who doesn’t. Bad people. That’s who. And he isn’t a bad person.
With that, I left.
I had to look up the station on GPS since I didn’t know how to get anywhere but the school and McDonald’s. My phone told me it would be a short fifteen minute drive, so I set my phone down and listened to the GPS voice to lead me where I needed to go.
Fifteen minutes and a smashed Styrofoam cup later, I parked at the station. For whatever reason, I felt like I had to gather up my courage to go inside. The idea of talking about Miss Finch again made me nervous. I didn’t want to give any more attention to it.
I swallowed my fear, opened my door, slamming it shut, and locking it behind me. I marched into the bustling station and immediately felt like I got in the way. Someone rushed past me and I barely avoided getting plowed into.
“Can I help you?” a woman behind the front desk asked. She wore a uniform and looked like she had no time for me. Still, I walked up.
“Um,” I stated articulately. “Is Deputy Barker here? I need to talk to him.”
She laughed at me. “Baby, if you need help with something, pick another person. Barker ain’t gonna wanna help you with a thing.”
“I know him,” I said quietly.
“Is he expecting you?” She eyed the container in my hands. I couldn’t tell if she judged me or if she wanted a cookie.
I shook my head.
The woman sighed, and it made the wrinkles in her face deeper. “He’s back there.” She pointed to a door, then smirked. “Good Luck.”
Instead of staying with the mean lady, I walked into the loud room she pointed me to. It looked just like the waiting room, complete with people walking and not looking where they went. I peered around, trying to locate my deputy.
They put him in the back of the room, all alone. He had his head down as he wrote on something. I walked up to his desk and he didn’t notice me until I spoke.
I leaned over the desk slightly. “Um, deputy?”
He looked up at me slowly, like he didn’t know if he heard a voice or not. When his eyes met mine, I noticed he looked more at peace than I’d seen him before. Even with the minor bags under his eyes, he seemed relaxed. Settled.
“Lynnie, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
I looked up. “Not really. My teacher was murdered, but I’m sure you know that.”
“Why would I know that?” he asked flatly.
That made me look down again, but with an arched brow. “Because you’re an officer in the same town as her?” It sounded like a question.
“Ah, yes. Sorry, I didn’t sleep much.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes.
“I didn’t wanna bother you. I just came by to talk for a second and to bring you these.” I held the container out to him.
He opened his eyes, looking to the cookies and then me. “You made me cookies?” he asked in such a curious tone.
I smiled and blushed against my will. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday. For letting me cry on you, then cuffing me. For bringing me home. Getting my car. Being decent in general.”
He smiled back at me and it made his eyes curve just slightly. He took the container. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you.”
I had to fight myself to keep from biting my lip. I lowered my voice, moving closer to the desk. “Can I talk to you about something? Somewhere else?”
He looked around before he stood up. “You’re all right?”
“Yeah. I just need to talk to you.”
He gestured for me to come with him. We went out the back door, leading to another parking lot. Transportation vehicles and squad cars took up some of the spaces, but it looked mostly empty. A bench sat against the brick wall. We walked over and sat down.
I didn’t look at Deputy Barker, but I fidgeted with the end of my shirt. My foot tapped the ground and I had to force the words out. “Since Miss Finch is… gone, I wanted to make sure you’re not still going to look into the thing that happened. Doesn’t really matter now anyway.”
When he stayed quiet, I looked up at him. His eyes fixed on my arm, but he looked deep in thought. “Yes, I suppose that won’t be necessary.”
“Thank you. I just don’t want everyone to know what happened. She should rest in peace.”
Deputy Barker almost shrugged. “Then I guess she will.” He hesitated before he spoke again. “I checked into her and she had a couple suspicious run ins in the last few years. Nothing so big that she lost her job, but she’s had some transfers to different schools. I think she was like this with a lot of people, so don’t feel like this is on you.. It wasn’t because of anything you did.” He reached out, putting his hand over mine. Right before he could, he pulled back. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
It almost helped to hear that. Maybe it because of her death, but I couldn’t feel anger at her anymore. The whole thing had come to an end, and would stay that way for the rest of my life. I hoped I got the worst of what she did to students. I didn’t want to think about how much worse other people might have gotten this. Her previous record also meant that I didn’t just put out a come fuck me vibe. What a comfort. She would still be dead, but it made me feel a little better about keeping her memory intact.
“Thank you” I said, “for telling me that.” I turned my hand so that our palms touched. He almost flinched, which made me almost flinch. But I didn’t. I curled my fingers around his and took the only comfort I would ever get.
The two of us stood in comfortable silence for a while, but I broke it. “Has it been busy today… since Miss Finch? Has the killer ever gotten that close before?”
The deputy looked slightly uncomfortable with the questions, but he answered them anyway. “Yes, the sheriff is in a bit of a tizzy. Everyone is working on the case. And no. The killer hadn’t come this close to the station before.”
“Why do you think he did? Kind of stupid, don’t you think?”
He laughed. “Yeah, really stupid of him. Almost begging to get caught, really. But I guess he felt like he was doing what he needed to do.”
“Killing someone?”
A shrug.
I took my hand back. Not because of anything he did, but to fidget again. “Are you guys close to finding him? Do you know why he killed her?”
“There’s not a solid enough pattern. You probably know everything that we know about it. I still shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”
“Sorry…”
His eyes widened with regret as he fumbled to apologize. “No, it’s not your fault. Don’t be offended. But you’re a civilian. I don’t want to upset you.”
I shrugged it off. “Nothing really upsets me anymore. Having a teacher shove her tongue in your mouth really makes you jaded.”
He narrowed his eyes with what looked like anger for the dead woman. “That shouldn’t have happened to you. That wasn’t…” He looked off, squirming a bit. “Feel free to hit me for asking, but it wasn’t your first kiss was it?”
“Oh, no.” He looked back at me. “I’ve kissed a couple people, so at least there’s that.”
Deputy Barker didn’t seem all that comforted. “Yeah, at least there’s that.”
I shrugged again. “Small comforts.”
His fingers tapped on his knee. “So, do you have anyone to t
alk to about this? Those friends of yours or your parents? A boyfriend?”
I laughed. “No. My parents won’t give me the time of day. My friends will tell everyone because it’s good gossip, and I have no boyfriend to speak of. Moving seven times really messes up dating.”
Those clear blue eyes of his widened again. “Seven?”
“Yup. My parents follow wherever the company wants them. I was three the first time I remember. Then I was six, then almost once a year since then. Just when I make friends, or start liking someone, we move. Or, I change grades and get put in different classes. I’m forever the new girl.”
“I’m sorry. That sounds sad.”
“I’m used to it. What about you? Is this your hometown?”
He smiled. “No. I’m from Kansas. I moved here when I was an adult.”
“Are your parents here? I bet they’re proud of their deputy son.” I smiled more than I intended to.
Deputy Barker didn’t look as happy as I felt. “I don’t know my mother. She died when I was a toddler. My father couldn’t care less where I am or what I’m doing. I had a sister, but she was killed a couple years ago. A bomb exploded in a parking garage back in Kansas.”
“Oh my God.” The words flew out of my mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
He blinked slowly. “Thank you, but the sting has dulled by now.” His eyes turned thoughtful for a moment. “I didn’t go home for the funeral. My father was angry about it. I just… stayed here.”
I ran my fingernails lightly along his shoulder to get his focus off the bad thoughts. “People all mourn differently.”
He had a blank expression until he looked at my hand on him, then he smiled as little as a person could. “I guess they do.” With a sigh, he looked at his watch. “I have to head back.”
My mood dropped. “Oh, sorry, I forgot.” We stood up, and I brushed my clothes off. Deputy Barker didn’t make a move, and I wondered if he waited for me to do something. “Thank you, again.”
“I hope I see you soon,” he told me.
I smiled and rose to my tiptoes. “Me too.” I kissed his cheek and walked around the building, leaving him to go back to work.
