by Nicole Thorn
“What’s wrong with the dress?” I asked, looking at it. “It’s fine.”
All three girls laughed at me. Rosita told me what I did wrong. “You need to wear something a little… more fun. The boots I like. But you need a shorter dress. Bird, do you have anything that’ll fit her?”
Oh goodie, I love this game.
My being bigger than everyone else got be the center of attention for an entire conversation. I watched Bird pull a few things out of the closet, setting them out on the bed.
For two hours, I tried on dresses. Most didn’t fit, and the ones that did fit showed too much leg for me. Some girls wouldn’t mind their bits and bobs on display, but I most certainly did. Then, after God Himself decided to have mercy on me, we came across one dress. Something Bird had when she went through her ‘I caught Daddy screwing another maid’ phase and had been eating her feelings, according to her.
The dark green dress cut low in the front, but I could live with that. It flowed over my hips and cut off at the middle of my thighs, giving me a little of my height back. Hillary and Rosita pulled at my hair while Bird found accessories. I ended up with a necklace that had a heart charm on it. It sparkled, but I couldn’t care less about it. I just wanted to be at home, watching TV, with a cute cop outside making me nervous without saying anything.
They curled my hair and forced makeup onto me – which I secretly scrubbed off in the bathroom – and then we got to go to my goddamned party.
The boys arrived with so much booze that I thought they planned on getting the whole town wasted. They carted it all in, and Bird yelled at them to put it in a very specific room.
Her house felt like a maze. You walked into the foyer and immediately had so many options. A short hall that led to a huge living room sat to the left, and then another hall with many more rooms. A staircase that led up to the second floor waited on the right. A mock balcony hung just outside another hall with more rooms. It looked out to the wall that led up to another damn level. To me, who grew up with money, it came off insane and like far too much. Another mock balcony hung over the entrance, dramatic and like something out of a bad romance movie. Between the two mock balconies, a chandelier hung over us all, sparkling light down on the floor. It looked to be made of real gold. It must have cost a fortune.
I helped Hillary set the food up in the kitchen while everyone else got the booze laid out. Bird set out plastic cups for the guests to use once and toss on her floor.
Soon, the guests arrived. Music boomed and I went off to hide the first moment that I could. With everyone dancing and the lights dimmed, I slipped past the main entrance and went straight through to the kitchen. I sat at the counter bar and started in on the food that had been left out. Bird ordered a bunch of pizzas, and that would do just fine.
I took to playing on my phone while I waited for an appropriate time to leave. Normally, I would try having fun anyway, but I felt so uncomfortable in that house. I didn’t know a soul and, even if I did, I’d never been one for partying. Not since I had been a kid and we could get jolly jumpers.
I wanted to text Isaiah more than a few times. I even started some before deleting them. I wanted to be funny or cute, even knowing I shouldn’t flirt with him. Mostly, I just wanted him to like me. I couldn’t tell if he did. When I got around him, I lost it. I felt goofier with him, like I could, for the first time, be… myself. My parents didn’t really tolerate that kind of thing, and other people found me annoying. Isaiah didn’t. He smiled when I rambled and when I got too excited about something silly.
Even with all that, I didn’t text him. I let him be. He had to be sick of me by then. He’d been stuck outside of my house for days and nothing had happened. Sooner or later they’d call him off. That psycho who left the heart probably didn’t care who he left it for. I bet he picked a random house and left it for laughs.
The game I played on my phone didn’t entertain me nearly as much as a possible conversation with Isaiah. I wanted to text him so, so bad.. How much harm could it really do? At worst, he wouldn’t text me back.
I exited out of my game and decided to be stupid.
Me: Somehow this party is worse than I thought it would be. I think I’m going through the whole pizza supply by myself.
Oh, that was lame. Couldn’t get any lamer than that. Way to go, Lynnie.
Five minutes passed and I didn’t get anything from him. I drowned my sorrows in soda and junk food because I didn’t have any other distraction. The music made the walls pound, and that only made things worse.
When my phone buzzed, I jumped in my seat. I almost didn’t believe it happened, but sure enough, it did.
Isaiah: I’d be more than willing to break it up for you. Yes or no to the gun?
Me: Yes, always yes to a gun. In the right hands, it can be upsettingly attractive.
Me: Ignore that.
Isaiah: Not a chance.
Me: Damn.
Isaiah: Don’t be embarrassed to find me attractive. I am actually pretty good looking. Surely you’ve noticed.
Isaiah: That was a joke.
Isaiah: Bad joke. Do you hate me now? I can buy back your affections with candy.
Isaiah: Not that I think you can be bought.
Isaiah: Excuse me while I go and flush my phone down the toilet.
I smiled to myself and finished my cookie.
Me: Sorry, loud music and I was eating a cookie. You are adorable. Don’t think otherwise.
A couple of minutes went by before he got back to me.
Maybe I went too far.
Isaiah: You flatter me. You’re far kinder than you need to be.
Me: Well, I like you. That helps. Is it sad that this is the best part of my birthday?
Isaiah: Yes, it is. Would it be inappropriate for me to offer to pick you up and take you somewhere? We can go get greasy diner food and make ourselves sick on milkshakes.
I smiled hard enough to hurt my face. He didn’t mean for it to be a date, obviously, but my heart still beat a little faster. Oh, to be alone with him… Someone would get felt up, and I doubted it would be me.
Me: That would be great, actually. Give me like fifteen minutes to make something up.
Isaiah: No problem.
I slipped my phone into my pocket and took the last bite of my pizza. Since I didn’t have a clue how to ditch a party, I decided it would be best if I snuck out without telling Bird. She hadn’t thrown his party for my anyway.
Halfway out of the kitchen, someone pulled me away and pushed me against a wall. Axel smelled like cheap beer and his eyes looked foggy and unfocused.
“Happy birthday, baby,” he slurred.
I patted his shoulder. “Thank you. How about you go find Seth?”
He shook his head. “How about you let me give you a birthday present? There’s a room upstairs with a soft bed on it. I’ll give you whatever you want.” His eyebrows waggled.
I smiled and tried not to laugh when he hiccupped. “You’re wasted.”
“Yes.” He nodded vigorously. “I am very wasted.”
“You should drink some water.”
“I’ll do that.” He shoved off the wall and started walking over to the pile of food. He shoved a brownie in his mouth and blinked at me. “You look real pretty.”
“Thanks…”
“You sure about the—”
“Yes, I am sure.”
“’Kay.”
I walked out of the room, having to push through the dancing crowd around me. Everyone kept drinking and the smell burned my nose. I couldn’t understand how they could enjoy that.
No one knew me, so I made it all the way to the foyer without being stopped again. Bird seemed busy serving drinks and dancing with Seth. They both looked sloshed, but they had fun. Some girls probably liked it when their person serenaded them with Taylor Swift.
My hand reached out for the doorknob when the lights went out. More than the lights. The music stopped, and the crowd groaned.
; I heard Bird in the darkness. “Calm down. A fuse or whatever probably got blown. Seth, go check.”
“You got it, babe.”
People moved around, pulling phones out and using them as flashlights. The lights shone in the faces of a few people, making them flinch. They chatted and complained while some of them sat on the stairs.
The lights and music came on faster than Seth could have reached the breaker, even if he had known where to go. And he had been drunk in the pitch darkness. We all stared at each other before a few of the guests started dancing again.
My back faced them and I had gotten so, so close to getting out. A scream ended it all. First one, then another, and another. The numbers grew as more people saw what I saw.
Blood dripped like a faucet from above, making the people under it jump, scream, and get out of the way. It didn’t matter. Dozens of them became covered in splatter and runoff. Half the people around me whimpered while the other half looked around, drunkenly threatening the killer in the crowd that no one could see.
My eyes stayed fix above us. The source of the blood.
I didn’t know her, but I’d seen her at school. In the halls her blue eyes had been bright with a zest for life. Why wouldn’t they be? Her whole life had been ahead of her. But now she didn’t have anything ahead of her. Not a damn thing.
Her body had been impaled on the chandelier, arms hanging limply in the air. I couldn’t even fathom how he got her up there. The fake candles stuck out of her body, coated in blood. Most of the blood came from the girl’s throat, split ear to ear.
I had my phone out and it rang before I even realized that I’d reached for it. My body worked for me while my brain took a break.
“Lynnie?” Isaiah said. “I’m leaving now. Are you okay?”
My voice took over for me. “No. You need to hurry.”
“What happened?”
My mouth opened, but screams drowned out my voice. I heard a cracking sound from above me. I saw it just before it happened. The chain holding the chandelier couldn’t handle the extra weight. It ripped from the ceiling and fell through the air. The thing crashed down with the sound of scratching metal, breaking glass, and terror.
I screamed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Heart of Glass
Isaiah
I put my jacket on her, but she still shook. She looked small in the quiet, dark of my backseat. I hoped it would give her some peace, having exhausted herself after a long talk with the officers that had arrived on the scene. They took statements from everyone. I hadn’t been on duty, so I couldn’t do it myself. I went right back on duty when I needed to get her home. I drove and let her have the quiet. When we got to her house I parked and then moved to the backseat with her.
Because Lynn had no one else, she sought her comfort from me. Her arms went around me, and she tucked under my arm. I felt her shaking against me, and it was the only thing keeping me calm. Her. She was scared and needed me.
I had been the first to get to the house and see the body. The kids all stood around, calling the police or crying. The girl on the floor had almost been decapitated. Lynnie said that before she fell, the girl’s neck had been sliced open. The fall and sudden jerk made her neck snap and her skin rip. I got Lynnie out of there before the image could burn deeper into her head.
“She died because of me, didn’t she?”
She hadn’t said anything since I put her in the car, until those words came out of her mouth. I didn’t know what to say. The truth would be complicated. The girl died because of me, not Lynnie. The killer was angry with me and he took it out on my angel. I had caused this, but Lynnie’s presence at the party had been why that specific girl died. That didn’t put all the blame on Lynnie.
“No,” I told her. “It wasn’t because of you.”
Lynnie tilted her head up and looked at me with complete trust. She couldn’t have given it to a worse man. It didn’t matter to her because she couldn’t see it. “Why does he want to do this to me?”
I had to lie, and it made me feel more vile than any previous act in my life had. “I don’t know.”
She held onto me tighter. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. He’s going to come back for me. And you’re the only one here.”
“I won’t let him get to you.”
“No!” Her eyebrows pushed together. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want you all alone out here. I don’t want him to hurt you.”
She worried about me. She cared about my safety. It made me unsure of everything in my life. If this girl could see something in me worth caring about, did that made her wrong? She seemed so flawless, but didn’t see the truth.
It didn’t matter because Lynnie held onto me, and she needed me to be human. If I couldn’t be that, then I would have to fake it.
I smiled softly at her, watching the light from the streetlamp bounce off her eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I know how to take care of myself. This is just some crazy bastard looking to entertain himself. I have a gun and I’m trained on how to use it. He’ll be dead before he gets to the car.”
Her fingers loosened on me, moving slowly from my side to my chest. “I think I’d feel a lot better if you came into the house with me. That way I’ll know that you’re okay, and I might actually get some sleep. I have a huge TV and really comfy couch in my bedroom. Food in the fridge. Heat. It’s a whole lot better in there than out here.”
Again, she wanted me in her bedroom. I didn’t want to say no. I wanted to scream yes from a rooftop. But the shred of decency I still had told me I couldn’t do it. I knew better and if I let myself begin to slip, who knew when I would be able to find the control to stop myself again? If this had been some other situation, in some other city, then maybe I could have let it happen. If I had been the deputy assigned to protect her, or if she had at least finished school… Three years never felt so vast before.
“Or…” She went on when I didn’t say anything. “…you can sleep if you want to. I have like three guest rooms. And there’s always my room.”
The word, “what,” fell out of my mouth at some point.
She flinched like I hurt her feelings. “I have a pretty big bed. We could share it.”
She wanted me in her bed. Snuggled up with her warm little body beside mine. If I said yes, I’d never sleep another night in my life. Not after the peace I knew she would bring me, forever making it impossible to feel at ease without her.
I sighed her name. “Lynnie… I can’t just sleep in your bed with you. Have you noticed that you’re in high school and I’m a grown man?”
She swallowed her embarrassment and it only showed through the pink in her cheeks. “Yeah, I figured you’d say no. And yeah, I’m aware you’re a grown man, but you were technically a teenager two and a half years ago. It’s fine. I just thought that I’d feel a lot better with you there.”
The bitterest feeling of contentment filled me, hearing her say these things to me. I wanted to make it real for us both. To carry her into her house, lay her in bed, and erase every fear in her head. I just didn’t think she wanted the same thing that I did. In her mind, this may have all been perfectly innocent. I doubted she’d ever thought of me like I’d thought of her. No pictures of us entwined in her head. And there shouldn’t have been. It would be better for her that way.
I had to offer up something. “How about I come in and check the house for you? Make sure it’s empty.”
She nodded. “That works.”
I got her out of the car and into the house. She silently followed me. I didn’t find anything, and I didn’t believe I would. But it gave me another twenty minutes with her.
I worked on the bottom floor when she left to change out of her dress. She’d looked lovely in it, but uncomfortable. It hadn’t quite been her style. As if it mattered; she would look like perfection in anything.
The little box I had burned a hole in my pocket. After I had slept a few hours earlier, I had decided I needed
to get Lynnie a birthday present. I planned on giving it to her when we went out for something to eat. I played it out in my head a dozen times, trying to figure out what to say to her when I handed it over. I didn’t want her to know how bad I had it for her. It seemed obvious to me, but she didn’t have a clue. I smiled at the thought. So innocent. I chose not to let it scare me. If I tricked her, how many other people could?
When she came out of her room, she wore her pajamas, pink shorts and a white tank top with straps that didn’t seem to want to stay up. One slipped over her left shoulder, and it took all my willpower to stand still. Her skin looked smooth and pale; freckles dotted her shoulders and nose. I would have given anything to see where else those freckles might’ve been. Something gave me the strength to not find out.
“All clear,” I told her, leaning against her doorframe.
She yawned and stretched her arms in the air. “I guess I can sleep soundly then,” she said flatly. She gazed back at her bed, looking uninterested in it. “I don’t suppose I could get you to stay until I fall asleep.”
This felt like a small request, and I didn’t want to hurt her twice in one night. “Okay.”
She swayed as she stood, clearly sleepy. But she kept her eyes focused. Those bright green windows stared right at me. She smirked, knowing she won.
I watched her get into bed and under the covers. She stopped, sitting up like she waited for something. Then she confirmed it with an arched eyebrow. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
She smiled and crooked her finger at me. I was but a man, so I let her coax me over with little more incentive than a cartoon character smelling a cooling pie in a window. I sat beside her and got another victory smile.
She put her hands on my face, turning it slightly. Her warm lips pressed to my cheek, just barely missing the corner of my mouth. “Goodnight.”
I smiled like an idiot at her, watching her press her lips together in amusement. Fine with me. I could be a fool for her if it made her even a little bit happy. “Sleep well, Lynnie.”
