by Nicole Thorn
He scoffed. “Why should we have? They won’t care.”
My eyebrows shot up. “I bet you’re real fucking wrong about that one. You need to give it to them.”
Seth shook his head. “Not a chance. We’re getting the thing framed and selling it on eBay. We’re going out again later. No way we can back down now.”
Reason wouldn’t work on them, but I had to try anyway. “So, a serial killer is threatening you, and you wanna poke that bear? Are you crazy?”
Bird snaked her arm around my shoulder. “Don’t worry about this. He’s probably just having fun with us.”
I couldn’t believe what I heard. They had potential evidence in a murder and notes from a serial killer, and they were excited about it. They wouldn’t be excited about this if they’d found human hearts in their houses. I didn’t want them to learn the hard way, but it seemed to be the only option. Maybe Isaiah could help me.
Even being upset with him, I had to do this. Five lives hung in the balance. Maybe six, actually. I didn’t check my mail this morning. Somehow, I didn’t think that the killer would leave me a note. You didn’t start with body parts and go back to a letter. It didn’t make any sense. But none of this did I supposed.
****
Isaiah already waited outside my house when I got home. I parked in the driveway and didn’t look at him as I went into my house. I had too much to sort through in my head as the embarrassment/guilt worked its way around in there. I probably wouldn’t recover for a while, and I didn’t feel like I deserved to.
When I got into the house, I changed my clothes immediately. I jumped right into my jammies and grabbed some junk food. With a bowl of ice cream and a bag of chips, I could drown my sorrows and pretend I hadn’t made myself look like a moron in front of someone I respected.
I got through a few hours of bad TV before I started getting antsy. Ideally, I would have Isaiah with me to keep me company. It took me weeks to get him in my house, and I ruined it in five minutes. We couldn’t go on like that. He may not have felt anything for me, but I wanted him to know I felt something for him. A better way for me to purge everything in my head didn’t exist. I had to get it all out on the table so it could get sorted out into neat little piles for me to sweep into the trash can.
Getting out of bed seemed to help. I went to open up my window, peeking out at Isaiah. He stared at nothing. I couldn’t see his expression from this far away. Stoic as always, if I had to guess. Damn him.
My stupid friends needed help, so I didn’t have a choice but to talk with him. I could’ve been a coward and call him. In fact, I really wanted to do that.
Fuck it.
I pulled out my phone and went to hit the button to call him. That would have worked out just fine if I hadn’t looked up again. When I did, Isaiah had gotten out of his car. His eyes focused on the ground, watching something — Blue.
With as much dignity as I could hold onto, I started walking out to meet him. Blue yipped and chased his tail when he saw me coming. The little puppy made me melt, and I bent down beside him. “Hey, honey.” I pet him and tried to roll over. I picked him up and rose from the ground. “Hi, Isaiah…”
“Hello, Lynnie,” he said, not sounding bothered by anything that happened. “How was your day?”
I sighed. I looked at him and pet the puppy. “Could have gone better. Ya see, I went to say goodbye to my friend this morning and it turned out I was making him super uncomfortable and I had no idea. So I got to stew with that all day, not even getting to tell him all the things I wanted to say.”
Isaiah sighed. “I really had to leave.”
“I know you did, but I would have liked to talk. It seems like we have some things to say. Or, I do. You don’t have to say anything.”
“I think I do. I like you a lot, Lynnie. You feel like an actual friend to me and I can’t begin to tell you what that means to me. I don’t want anything to mess that up.” He hung his head. “I wish I could explain this to you. I just can’t.”
I lifted the puppy up to me and went back to my baby voice for him. “Why is Daddy being so cryptic with Mommy? It’s very frustrating.”
Isaiah’s laugh got my attention. “Are you his mommy now?”
“Well, obviously I’m his mommy,” I said, a little too defensive. “He needs a mommy and a daddy. I don’t see anyone else to take up the mantel. Also, I don’t think anyone rubs his belly as good as I do.”
“Me, obviously. I know my dog son better than you do.”
I focused on the puppy as Isaiah moved closer to me. He was so tall, and it felt like he surrounded me whenever I stood next to him. I never hated it. Not when it he surrounded me.
Isaiah cupped my face with one hand, tilting it up to him. He pressed his lips to my cheek for a few long beats and he put his forehead to my temple, despite the awkward angle for him. “I want to be good to you, Lynnie.”
I responded in the same soft tone while he remained against me. “You are very good to me.”
He backed away from me, dragging his feet on the pavement. “You are so great… and kind… and I cannot be the one to undo that.”
I stared at the ground, awkwardly moving in place. “I don’t think you see me very clearly.”
He smiled. “I do.”
I couldn’t do much about the standstill we found ourselves in. We couldn’t even admit to having feelings for each other. There had to be something there. It couldn’t be all one sided. Right?
I didn’t want to go back inside yet. Thankfully, I had a reason to be out there. “So, um… I have to talk to you about something.” When he arched a brow, I told him about the conversation I had with my friends. How stupid they had been and would continue to be. Isaiah looked his usual uninterested self as I spoke. Not uninterested in me, but my friends. I couldn’t really blame him.
“I’ll look into it,” he eventually said. “Even if your friends have a death wish.”
I scoffed. “They didn’t even care that a killer was threatening them. They thought it was cool.”
“Shocking. Really it is.”
“They’ll start to care when they drop like flies.”
“I’m sure they will.”
The sun dipped over the horizon and I stood outside when the cold breeze rolled in. Time for me to depart. I shivered and looked at Isaiah. “I’ll see you in the morning, I guess.”
When I started walking, he called out to me. “Hey! You stole my dog.”
I turned with a wicked smirk. “Oh, we’re heading inside where it’s warm. You’re invited if you want.”
His arms crossed and his back hit the car. “I’m not coming in.”
I shrugged and kissed the puppy’s head. “Your choice. But Blue isn’t spending his night in a cold car, all cramped and sad. He’s sleeping in my bed with me tonight. That way he can run around and be free to live his puppy life.”
That got a laugh. “I knew you only liked me for the dog.”
I shrugged as I walked backwards. “Ya got me.”
When got to my bedroom, I set Blue down. It took him twenty minutes to smell everything I had laying around. While he did that, I made sure that my blinds stayed all the way open. Isaiah stood by his car, watching me.
I played with Blue for a good long while. I fed him and took food out to Isaiah, not letting him get the puppy back. Not that he tried to take him.
As it neared time for bed, Blue ran around my pillows. He hopped around, landing on little monsters that I couldn’t see but he seemed determined to kill. He seemed so proud of himself each time and he looked to me for approval. I would give it over like a trained monkey each and every time he asked for it.
Isaiah loved his puppy and I knew it. So if he saw his puppy begging him to come inside, he would have to do it.
“Come here, honey,” I called to the dog. He jumped up and ran over to me, barking the whole time. I picked him up and pointed him at the window. “We have to work together. Can you make Daddy want to come and see Mo
mmy?”
He barked. That meant yes.
I sat him on the windowsill and stood with him, waiting for Isaiah to look over and notice our twin puppy dog looks. My chin rested in my hand, and I stared off at nothing. Eventually he looked, and I caught him squinting to see us better. He smirked but didn’t get out of the car.
I took to making sillier faces at him. Each time he looked, it would be something else. Blue played along. He jumped around, barking at his daddy.
Twenty minutes of that and I decided to give up on him. I sighed and looked at the puppy. “I think we’ve lost this one, little guy. Your daddy seems to have an iron will.”
Blue sat on his butt and panted in response.
I nodded. “I know, right? Awful. Is it so much to ask to have him come in here and take his pants off for a while? I don’t think it is.”
I took the puppy in my arms and set him on my bed so I could brush my teeth. He didn’t like being left behind, and yelled at me for the act. But I didn’t need to trip over him while he tried playing with me. Isaiah would probably be upset if I fell and smooshed his baby.
When I hopped into bed, Blue laid on my pillow. He yawned and stretched out his limbs, rolling over onto his back. After I had gotten all tucked in, my little buddy moved over to put his paw on my face. I moved it and he did it again. Oh, what a time Isaiah must have had with him night in and night out. This should be interesting.
CHAPTER NINETEEN:
Tenterhooks
Isaiah
I had finally been punished for it all. Every sin committed in my life. The universe, God… I didn’t know, something, something sent me Lynnie. She had been sent to me to awaken the humanity that I never had. She made me feel all the things I missed out on. The things I didn’t know I wanted. In a bitter twist, the humanity she showed me, and the possibility in me to love something, I couldn’t have it with her. And I couldn’t want it with anyone other than her. What a cruelty, that the one person who could make me human would be the one person I would never risk tarnishing? Not her. Anyone but her.
I couldn’t know for sure, but in my gut, I felt it. The way she looked at me, and the way she touched me… I didn’t know how it happened. How had she seen a monster and decided to pick it?
I’d never experienced such conflict before. I didn’t know what to do with these twin wants. One as deep as the other and just as important. I wanted to keep her. To be everything that she deserved me to be. A good man. Even with her light, I didn’t think it could chase away all the darkness in me. I had too much blood on my hands, and I couldn’t even promise that I wouldn’t get more in time. I had to end this person trying to hurt her. Would I still feel that profound pull after all of this ended? The one that told me I could only find peace by killing someone? I wouldn’t find out.
I couldn’t keep Lynnie.
With my puppy in tow, I headed back home. He slept on the front seat when I pulled up to the house. He made me carry him in and place him beside his food bowl. So lazy.
I hopped in the shower before I allowed myself to pass out in my bed. I needed to wash away all the bad things in my head; those voices that told me that if I tried to take Lynnie, she would let me. Most people who heard voices went to see a doctor about that sort of thing.
I woke up groggy. Blue had found his way onto my bed and curled up to my stomach. He even went as far as to crawl into my blankets. His paws pressed to my abdomen and he pushed against me every three seconds. He smelled like her bedroom. It must’ve been why I slept so soundly. The puppy got to sleep beside her all night, something I’d give anything to be able to do.
He rolled over when I moved onto my back. I stared at my ceiling until I thought I could get out of bed. Lynnie occupied every thought in my head, and I couldn’t understand why. She made me feel weaker and stronger at the same time. She held me in her hands, yet she was too gentle to see the power she had.
I threw my blanket off, letting Blue free. He didn’t take advantage.
I had several hours before I had to be back at Lynnie’s house. That meant I had to check in with the sheriff. While off duty, I didn’t have to wear my uniform into the station, so I wouldn’t. Instead, I put on jeans and a dark sweater. I rolled the sleeves up as I cleaned my house. It never got all that messy and it only took a few minutes to do.
After I took care of the dog, I headed out.
When I got to work, the station buzzed as it had since The Ripper decided to show up and turn everything topsy-turvy. It used to be a sleepy little station. The most interesting thing that happened had been when a Snickers truck crashed into the store. That had been a good day. I got hundreds of dollars’ worth of candy for free.
Carter and Barbie stood at the water cooler when I walked in. Carter looked suicidal as Barbie prattled on about something. I caught the words kitten and Chocodile. No need to investigate that.
I came to see Draper, no one else. The blinds on his windows and office door had been closed. With a sigh, I knocked and waited for a response. When I got nothing, I invited myself in.
I half expected him to be passed out at his desk. Sadly, I missed out on that sight. It looked like no one had been in the room all day. Nonetheless, I had to give him an update on Lynnie.
I looked in his desk for paper, but didn’t find anything. I could have gone back to my desk, but that seemed like too much effort. He had to have a notepad somewhere. I started looking through his drawers and found one filled with bottles of booze and glasses. I sighed and shut that drawer.
Of all the crap he had in his desk, he didn’t have a single office supply that I could see. What the hell did he do all day long? He didn’t even have files from current cases on his desk. God, I wish I picked another career. This all seemed so pointless. If the sheriff didn’t care, who did?
The last drawer I checked finally had a file in it. When I lifted it up to look for paper, the contents fell out. I saw Lynnie’s eyes staring back at me from the paper. I laid the file out before me, going through each and every picture.
He had two dozen pictures of Lynnie taken from a distance at least. Some of them had been taken at the school. Those didn’t make me angry. The pictures of her in her bedroom did. He had pictures of her in her sleep clothes and hardly dressed. They had to be taken before I had been assigned to guard her. I would have seen someone taking pictures. She looked so exposed in these. And my boss had them in his desk.
I wanted to burn every last picture. Why would Draper have these? If he thought she was in more danger than before, he would have shown these to me. But instead, they had been stashed away in his desk like a dirty magazine. The thought of someone using images of Lynnie like that made me feel that pull to harm.
The pictures had to belong to Draper, or he would have told me about them. I couldn’t even destroy the pictures, which might have hurt the most. Draper would know someone found his stash if I did. He would know I had been that person if he checked the cameras. It hurt to put the pictures back where I found them. I had to let him do what he would with them.
As much as I wanted him dead, something stopped me from going straight to his house and ending him. Lynnie’s face appeared in my head, reminding me of who I wanted to be. She wouldn’t want me to do this. She would be scared of me. I had to back down. For now.
I forced my feet to get me out of the station without doing something I might’ve regretted. So much for checking in.
I had killed for less than this and it felt wrong to leave it unfinished. Part of me thought I should give Draper the benefit of the doubt. He could have gotten those pictures from someone, and there could be a lot of reasons why he hadn’t shown me yet.
Of course, those pictures would belong to The Ripper in that case. He still watched Lynnie. Not a surprise, but it reminded me of the work I still had to do.
I needed to calm down, and the timing couldn’t have been better. Lynnie would be home soon and seeing her in person would soothe me. Even with all that lay between us
at the moment. She would make the hurt go away with nothing more than a look.
I got to her house about ten minutes before she did. The moment she got out of her car… it was all over for her. She had barely noticed me before I pulled her to my car. To her credit, she got in without question.
We drove silently to my house, but without tension. She greeted Blue first thing and then took her shoes off, leaving her in nothing but a little white dress.
Lynnie skipped up to me and her curls bounced over her shoulders. “Are you going to tell me why I’m here? Or why you’re in your street clothes?” She gasped and widened her eyes. “Are you taking me to Disney World? I’m not dressed for a flight, but I can make it work.”
I smiled at her. “Nothing that crazy. As much as I’d love to watch you attack the characters running around.”
“They like it when you’re rough with them…”
Ignoring that, I moved on. “I thought we could have dinner before heading back to your house.”
She lit up, taking a smooth step forward. Her hands went to my sides as she gripped my shirt. “It’s Friday.” She dropped her eyes to my chest before pressing right up against me and aiming those bright eyes back up. “You can stay late.”
I had to look away from her before I did something stupid. “What do you want to eat? I can order something.”
She sighed, so far past done with me. “I can cook something.”
She walked past me, bumping her shoulder against my arm as she went. Oh, I see how it is. I try and do the right thing and it only upsets her. I had a moment of male pride where I felt utterly pleased that she wanted me and that me turning her down annoyed her. I could make her happy if I pulled her to me and carried her off to my bedroom. She found me attracted enough to want me to touch her. Enough to pout when I didn’t do it. I wished that I could make it up to her. I would have given her everything she wanted if only I could.
Lynnie went through my fridge, scolding me for my lack of food. “God help the woman you marry,” she complained. “She has her work cut out for her.”
