Her remark sparked a surge of anger in me. She was so caught up in the glamor and bought into the celebrities-are-superheroes crap that so many people believed that she’d put people like the members of Destitute on this impossible pedestal where they were exempt from the rules applicable to us normal people.
“They’re only people. Flesh, bone, and blood, just like you and me. You really need to get over this idea that they’re anything else. Jared Larsen, for example, is arrogant, and just like any other arrogant person would, he annoys me.”
“I don’t mean to defend his arrogance, but don’t you think that he’s at least a little bit entitled to it? As an act, Destitute isn’t exactly known for being particularly sensitive. What they are known for, however, are consistent hits, sold out stadiums, and for being extremely hard workers.”
“I’m a hard worker, too,” I argued. “I’m not saying that they’re not as well. All that I’m saying is that it didn’t turn me into somebody who believes I’m above everyone else.”
“You don’t think that they’re even a little bit above the rest of us? They’re special, Alicia. Their talent sets them apart from us mere mortals.”
I took a gulp of my water to consider my reply before I went off on her. I wondered how many times we’d had this argument. “They’re mere mortals, too, though. Their talent only means that they get paid a hell of a lot more than other people get paid for theirs.”
Cradling the phone between my ear and my shoulder, I grabbed my plate from the microwave and my water and carried my dinner to my living room. My house was small, but had very modern amenities. Thanks to the fact that people like Destitute had so many, as Gerry had called them, messes to clean up, I made a pretty decent living and could afford the upscale area I lived in.
It wasn’t quite the Hills where the rich and famous lived, but it was close enough that I could get there in a flash if the need arose. Which it did. Often. I made a mental note to program all the guys’ addresses into my phone. I might not have met them yet, but I was officially on call if any incident should occur. It wouldn’t do to be fumbling around for an address if one of them called for emergency damage control.
Sinking into my bright red couch, I pulled one of my quirky throw pillows onto my lap, this one reading “Real, Not Perfect,” and I balanced my plate on it. The screen of my television, hanging directly across from me, was dark, and I wondered again why I’d even bought the thing. When I wasn’t working, which was really not often, I far preferred to read than to watch TV.
My living room was decorated in bright colors and bold patterns and was my happy space. It was a good thing that I was in said happy space, since a part of me wanted to reach into my phone and strangle my sister as she kept arguing why performers were different from us. Special.
“You’ve only let yourself buy into the industry-created idea that they’re special because you haven’t actually worked with them. Trust me. If you worked as closely with these performers as I did, you would realize that there’s nothing special about them. Well, except that a whole lot of them are entitled, whiny brats who forgot how to make their own coffee and stopped eating anything but kale about ten minutes after they first got recognized.”
The last band I’d worked with were all vegans. Going on tour with them had honestly nearly killed me. And not a single one of them could tell me why they’d chosen to become vegan in the first place.
While I expected Destitute to be full of it when it came to their food and coffee orders, I only hoped that they at least had the good sense not to have given up all animal by-products. I wasn’t going to survive another tour of wheatgrass smoothies, vegetables, and soy.
I respected people’s choices when it came to what they put in their bodies, but I expected the same courtesy in return, and that had been off the table with my last clients. I was a good old steak and potatoes, pepperoni on pizza, and bacon for breakfast kind of girl. I worked hard to keep my body trim and tried to eat healthy most of the time, but eating nothing but soy for months had nearly killed me.
“If they aren’t special, then why do I get thousands of tips each day about where they are, comments by the hundreds on my articles and my blog, and why don’t I have twenty million followers on Twitter like Jared does?”
“I’m not saying people can’t be fans. I’m a fan of the music, too. You know that. I also watch movies and get excited sometimes about meeting people. All that I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be fooled by the glamor of the industry.”
We went back and forth for at least ten more minutes before the argument became too heated for my tastes. My sister happened to be my best friend, and while I had no problem arguing with people, fighting with Kelly wasn’t fun.
“Let’s agree to disagree on this, shall we? I don’t want to fight with you, Kel. Let’s not talk about it anymore.”
After a brief minute of silence, my sister was back, sounding calmer already. “I can agree to disagree. Aside from that development, then, how’s your week going?”
“I’ve been busy. You know how it is each time I start with a new client. I have to figure out where, and from whom, I’m picking up the reins. I haven’t even met with the rest of the members of Destitute, but I have to start working on a campaign to promote their new album, even though I haven’t heard it. I’m just praying that they keep their noses clean until I’m settled in.”
“Fat chance of that happening.” She giggled. “But if it means that much to you, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.”
“Anything new on your side?” I asked her, finally taking a bite of my cooling pizza. I didn’t mind that it had gone a little bit cold. At least that would mean that I wouldn’t get the annoying pizza burn on the gums behind my front teeth.
“Not much. The blog hit seven hundred subscribers today, so there’s that. It’s not nearly as exciting as landing a job with Destitute, but it’s the best I can do.”
I giggled, still chewing, but happy that the unpleasantness of the conversation earlier had faded almost completely and that we were back to teasing and talking about normal things.
“Seven hundred subscribers is great, though. I’m proud of you.” Considering that she had a full-time job and did freelance writing part-time, I was impressed that she remained dedicated and kept making time for her blog.
“Thanks, Alleycat.” I hated that damn nickname, but if nothing else, it was an indicator that our earlier argument was completely forgiven. “I’d better go. I haven’t eaten anything today, and my stomach is screaming at me.”
“Same, I warmed up some pizza while we were talking. Want to go grab dinner sometime next week?” I asked, chewing on my next slice.
“You got yourself a date. You know, unless of course, you get a hotter one with one of those gorgeous new clients of yours.” She was joking, or at least. I hoped she was.
“That’s not happening, but thanks for giving me an out,” I teased, but she and I both knew I didn’t want or need one.
“I’m awesome like that. Let’s talk about it next week?”
“You got it,” I told her. “Good luck for the rest of this one. Talk to you later.”
“Laters,” she chirped and clicked off.
Finally alone with only my thoughts, I was kind of annoyed with myself that the only person on them was Jared freaking Larsen. Our encounter earlier had been brief, but that didn’t mean that I’d gotten through it unscathed.
The man was sex on a stick, and I wasn’t immune to him. There was also something in his eyes that drew me in and made me believe that there might just be more to him than the cocky arrogance that he exuded.
There was no doubt that for the first time in my life, I was attracted to one of my performers. Very attracted, actually.
It was a pity that I wasn’t interested in a one-night stand, since I was quite sure that I could have gotten him to bed if that was what I wanted. I had seen how thoroughly he’d eye-fucked me at that studio, and while I was also su
re that he’d seen it had turned me on, it was nothing but stupid to get involved with a guy like that.
I wasn’t interested in a one-night stand at all, especially not with one of the men I was going to be working with for the foreseeable future, and I couldn’t imagine that Jared was capable of having any kind of relationship that extended beyond a twenty-four-hour period.
No, as attracted as I was to him, that wasn’t happening.
CHAPTER 7
JARED
God, I was tired. And why the hell was the sun so bright? All I wanted to do was to crawl back into bed and spend the rest of the day sleeping, reading, or letting out some of the lyrics that had been swimming around in my head onto a scrap of paper or one of the notebooks I had lying around.
Most people would probably have been surprised to learn that I actually read a lot when I got to be myself instead of the Emperor of Rock, but that didn’t happen often enough.
No time to switch it off these days, but I didn’t mind. The persona was an inseparable part of me nowadays, and I loved it.
Reading was a part of my childhood that I’d never lost, though. My mom used to say that every child should play at least one instrument, spend at least an hour a day reading, and at least double that amount of time with their parents. Caleb and I grew up that way, and while our parents were no longer around, I missed them, and reading made me feel closer to her.
Not that I would ever admit any of that out loud. It would make me sound like a pussy. Our parents were long gone. A car accident when I was twenty-one had ripped them from us. I was thankful every day that I’d legally been an adult when it happened, so neither Caleb nor I had had to go into the foster system.
We hadn’t grown up with money, and we’d sold everything our parents had to stay alive for a while there, but they’d always encouraged our music, and I was sure they’d be proud of us. I just didn’t allow myself to think about it, or them, too often. We were living the fucking dream and thinking about losing them only brought me to a dark place that I didn’t have time to wallow in.
Sliding my sunglasses over my eyes like a douche, since I was still indoors, I grabbed my keys from the half-moon table by the door and headed outside. There was always somewhere else I had to be.
I was lost in thought and not expecting to find Melanie… uh, Madison waiting for me in my driveway.
All remnants of me, who I really was, slipped away as soon as I noticed her presence, and I easily slid into the persona of the world-famous rock star, their Emperor. “This is a surprise. Did you forget something the other day?”
A part of me was worried about why she was back, another part of me was really not in the mood to deal with a freak out, and the last part of me was wondering if our hot new PR agent’s number was already programmed into my phone, in case this turned into the shit show that it had the potential to be.
Madison, however, was surprisingly calm as she stalked toward me. A sharp, bright, pink fingernail scratched down my abs when she reached me. Her eyes were almost level with mine as she dragged her nail over my torso. “I didn’t forget anything. Except maybe round two.”
That fingernail came to a rest where my ribs met beneath my breastbone, and as enticing as I knew it was supposed to be, it was anything but. I stepped back and tried to gauge how to defuse the situation by myself when Madison continued.
“We had so much fun together, you and me. What do you say we give it another go?”
Oh, for heaven’s sake. I couldn’t have been any clearer with her before she left. What was she doing here?
For the first time ever, I wished that I had at least considered Gerry’s advice before putting a down payment on this house.
“Listen to me, kid,” he’d told me. “This place is great. It’s beautiful. It’ll provide fantastic views for your lady friends and random fuckery, but listen to me when I tell you that you’ll get tired of how open it is. Find yourself a nice place with high walls and a big, strong gate.”
Turns out, today was the day that I got tired of it. Madison wasn’t any the wiser, though. No doubt, all she saw was the playboy, badass rock star who didn’t have any real feelings.
And if that was who she wanted, I was more than ready to give it to her. With a cold smile, sunglasses still in place, I cocked my head at her. “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart. That’s what I’m here for, to show a woman a good time. You didn’t have to come all the way down here to see me. Even if I never saw you again, I gave you good memories, didn’t I?”
A hurt expression, that had no business there, crossed her face, but she forced another smile and took a step closer to me again. “You did. I feel like you can give me more, though.”
They all wanted sex from me. A vigorous fuck to tell their friends about, and she’d had hers. “What more do you want from me? I gave you the memory of sleeping with someone famous and some pretty decent orgasms if I’m not mistaken. That was all there was to it.”
Her bright blue eyes darkened in insult, but she didn’t give up. “You did, and I appreciated that so much that I thought you might want to do it again.”
No, I didn’t. I hadn’t climbed the same mountain twice in years, and I wasn’t planning on starting now, especially not for her. I was aware of the fact that even though I’d been dubbed the Emperor of Rock, there were also those who referred to me as the Manwhore or Player of Rock, as a slight to my so-called title, but I had earned those, too.
What few people knew, except maybe Caleb, was that I’d actually grown up with a great example of what true love looked like. I just understood that it likely wasn’t going to happen for a man in my position. I’d stopped thinking that maybe it would, and as a result, never allowed myself to get close enough to feel anything for anyone any more.
Besides, I enjoyed sex. I loved the release as much as I thought anyone else did and gave the world exactly what they expected from me. I was having way too much fun to be looking for anything more.
I wasn’t jaded. I hadn’t had my heart broken like Caleb had, and I didn’t simply fuck around because I thought I deserved it, like Nick did. I honestly just loved the lifestyle I’d busted my balls to be able to call mine. I held the world in my hands, and the possibilities were endless. Why wouldn’t I take advantage of them?
“Yeah… No. I don’t want to do it again,” I told her, turning toward my garage to make a quick escape. “I’ve got somewhere to be. Feel free to see yourself home.”
Madison caught my wrist and pulled me against her. “Come on, Jared. We were so great together. I know we could be again. Don’t resist me, baby. Take me inside, and show me how much you missed me.”
Shaking my head, I gently tried to pry my wrist away from her surprisingly strong grip. “Can’t. I really do have somewhere to be, and even if I didn’t, you knew that what happened between us was a one-time thing. You were great, really. But I’d hate to give you the wrong idea.”
Smiling what I hoped was a contrite-looking grin, I reclaimed my arm. The only reason why I was flirting back even a little bit with her was because I honestly didn’t get off on hurting women, but I also needed to make her understand that it was useless coming back here.
“Jared,” she purred, bringing both hands to my black tee and gripping my pecs uncomfortably hard. “Don’t be like that. I promise I’ll make it good for you.”
She actually batted her eyelashes and stared up at me with her blue eyes as if I held the answers to every problem in her universe. I didn’t. I didn’t even have the answers to my own most days. I just fucking winged it.
Whatever it was she was looking for, she wasn’t going to find it here. “I’m sure that you would have. I’m also sure that with an offer like that, you’ll make somebody’s day, possibly even their night, but it’s not going to be mime.”
Hell no. It definitely wasn’t going to be mine.
“But I want you, baby,” she said, her voice becoming more desperate by the second as her hands shot to my arms. �
�I want you now.”
Careful that I couldn’t be accused of having hurt her later, at least not physically, I clasped her wrists and removed them from my person. It occurred to me that what had started as a flirtatious encounter had turned into a desperate one. “What are you really after here, Madison?”
A lot of people assumed that I was ignorant, stupid, or just plain oblivious, but I wasn’t. I just chose to let them believe what they wanted to, and while I didn’t give a fuck about what was going on with Madison, I needed for her to turn her desperation elsewhere. Pronto.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m after you, Jared.”
Of course, that was obvious, but my gut was telling me that it was something more. It was, however, not my problem to figure out what that was.
“And I told you, I’m not interested. You’ve had your shot, Madison. You pretended to know a lot about my reputation, in which case, you knew that it was the only shot you were going to get.”
Her blue eyes went glassy, and her shoulders dropped before she visibly rallied and pushed ahead. “I did, yes, but you were so good to me. Please, Jared?”
The blatant desperation in her tone now was a serious turnoff, as was the fact that she was suddenly begging me for it. As much as I hated to do it, my voice turned rough, and I took yet another step away from her. “Please, Jared, what?”
“You know what. I’m asking you to make love me to me again.”
Make love? We did a lot of things that day, but that wasn’t one of them. I’d needed the release, the human connection, and she’d been right there with me. I really didn’t understand what this was all about.
“That’s not happening. I’m late to an appointment, and frankly, I think you knew that you were taking a long shot coming all the way out here.”
Madison’s eyes weren’t blank or stupid, which meant that she had, in fact, known exactly what she was getting into and that she’d been taking a chance coming here today.
My One and Only: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Second Chance Romance Page 60
