I wanted to do whatever he wanted from me, as long as he didn’t want me to stop being here with him, doing exactly what we were doing.
I couldn’t deny Jared and I had a lot of things to work out. The mountains of things we had to talk about were so high, I got dizzy just thinking about how painful it was going to be trying to get through it.
But I didn’t want to think about that right now. I didn’t want to have to plan or wonder about the future. I just wanted to feel and lose myself in the pleasure of being with him. All the talking could wait, so could the second-guessing and cussing myself out for going there with him again.
But god, these last weeks had been so long, so lonely and depressing. I just wanted to bask in how he was making me feel right now.
And so that was what I was going to do. Stuffing all my thoughts about work and how the band was back together and wondering what, if anything, that meant for me and Jared tightly into a lockbox in my head, I turned to face the wall as he undid my zipper.
My pussy clenched, and my back arched.
I wanted him that badly. I was aching for him. The feel of his body, the smell of his masculine scent and knowing he wanted me and had missed me as much as I did him was enough to make me feel like I was about to melt into a puddle of desire.
His hands caressed my shoulders as he slid first the right and then the left strap of my dress off, causing the fabric to slide down and pool at my waist. Fingers dropping and trailing lower until they skimmed my hips under the dress, until they were on my butt, he hooked them into the elastic of my panties and pulled them down.
My thong fell to my feet, and I kicked it away, sending my heels after it. His fingers dug into my flesh and explored every bare inch of my skin. My hipbones, my ass, my thighs. He was driving me crazy.
Needing him to touch me, I arched my back again so my ass pushed into his crotch. Turning me around so we were facing each other, his expression was intense with lust. My knees threatened to buckle under the weight of it.
He moved to pin me against the wall with his body as if he could tell I was having trouble holding myself up. The warmth and weight of his body holding me against the wall felt so good, my eyelids fluttered closed.
His fingertips grazed my skin again, and I shuddered, and then his hot mouth was on my neck and kissed his way to my ear, sucking at a sensitive spot behind it. He didn’t stop there, kissing a path past my jawline and up my lips.
Leaning into him, I pressed my body closer to his.
He was so fucking hard that I moaned out loud when I bodies connected. I rolled my hips, rubbing my aching core against him, but it wasn’t enough. Jared was taking this slowly, though, as if he was savoring it.
Sliding a hand up my thigh, he groaned and caught my lower lip with the thumb of his other hand. I stared at him as he dragged his thumb over my lip, not wanting to break his intense gaze.
He pushed his thumb clear into my mouth, and I closed it around him, pressing my tongue to his pad, moving it around his finger as if it was his cock. A low, throaty groan fell from his lips.
Giving Jared head was possibly one of my favorite things to do. It sounded crazy, even in my head, but the man was so responsive, I just couldn’t help it. I loved the way it made me feel.
While I was considering dropping to my knees and replacing his thumb with his cock for real, he withdrew his finger from my mouth and lowered his head to kiss my neck. He unhooked my bra and his fingertips caressed my skin.
The ache building between my legs was becoming painful. I squeezed my thighs together for some relief and abandoned my plan to go down on him. I needed him too much, too soon.
Kissing a line down my neck, over my shoulders, he shifted lower to plant a kiss on my chest. My fingers flew to his soft hair as he sucked a nipple into his hot, wet mouth. He flicked it with his tongue before releasing it with a soft pop and doing the same with the other nipple.
My breathing was heavy. Ragged. But so was his. I didn’t want to rush him, but I was going to explode if he didn’t speed up. It’d been too long, and my vibrator couldn’t make me feel half the things he could.
“Jared. Please.”
His palm cupped my sex, and his voice was breathy, his breathing hard in my ear. “You’re so wet. Do you want my fingers inside you?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Please.”
His lips sank to mine as my hands danced over his taut stomach.
Jared had come downstairs before their impromptu band practice wearing only pajama pants, a fact I was now thankful for. His skin was warm under my palms, his toned muscles jumping under my touch.
My legs started shaking as his hands skimmed up my thighs again. “I’ll kick you if you stop.”
Lips quirking into a smirk, his fingers skimmed my sex.
“Like that?” His hand was steady as he stroked my clit. I dug my fingers into the hard lines of his stomach as his fingers slid down my slit.
I spread my legs to give him better access and nearly collapsed when he dipped a finger inside me. “Yes!”
Only the weight of his body pressing me against the wall was keeping me from falling down. His fingers moved faster, deeper. His kiss became harder, more aggressive. Tension pulsed between my legs. I was so close. As always, Jared gave me exactly what I needed when I needed it.
“Come for me, Alicia.”
With his next stroke, I did. Pleasure thundered through me as the knot of tension released, and I gasped. “Jared!”
He kept me pressed against the wall with his hips and he stroked me through it, his voice a breathy groan against my neck. “I’ve missed seeing that.”
“I’ve missed feeling it,” I whispered back once I rediscovered the ability to speak. “But now I want to feel it the other way.”
“Give me a sec?” He steadied me on my feet, waited until he was sure I wasn’t about to fall over and then rushed over the shelf in the garage.
I knew by now that Jared was always prepared, so I wasn’t surprised when he came away with a foil packet. He walked back over to me, stuck the packet between his teeth and shoved his drawstring pants over his ass just far enough to expose his fully engorged cock.
I sucked in a breath as he sheathed himself and moved his hands to my ass. He held me against the wall but paused. “You sure about this?”
“Don’t you dare stop.” He nipped at my lower lip at my cheeky response.
“Yes, ma’am.” He mock saluted me quickly and then got down to business. “Wrap your legs around me.”
Bringing his hands to my thighs to help me, he lifted me against him. I hooked my ankles around his waist as he positioned our bodies, keeping his eyes on mine.
There. His cock nudged my sex and then slid in. We both breathed out in relief as he slid deeper, so deep that it was suddenly difficult to breathe. He slowed as he slid home, watching me intently.
His breathing was coming in gasps, and my hands went to the back of his neck as I drew him closer and started kissing him.
Slowly, he started to move. Fuck, he felt good.
He groaned as he continued his steady motions. “You feel so fucking good.”
“My thoughts exactly,” I moaned. “About you, not me.”
My thighs squeezed his hips. He needed to know how good he was making me feel as he moved inside me. Again and again.
Kissing me hungrily, almost frantically, he drove into me. Harder. Faster. Until everything he was doing was perfect.
I lifted my hips to press my clit against his pubic bone, losing myself in the pleasure that was building inside me. My fingers dug into his skin. His hands stayed under my ass, pinning me in place as he matched his movements to my moans.
Jared groaned low and deep, getting close. “Fuck, Alicia.”
His groans sent shockwaves of pleasure cascading through my body. The sounds of his obvious pleasure pushed me right to the edge, and with his next stroke, I went flying over and I came again.
One of his hands knotted
in the hair at the nape of my neck as he followed me over.
“Ally.” He let out a loud moan. And then there it was. I could feel his cock twitch deep inside me as he emptied himself, his head buried in the crook of my neck as his hips bucked and his muscles quivered.
He held me steady against the wall and pressed his lips to my shoulder as our breathing returned to normal.
“Thank you," Jared whispered when we finally stilled. "For what you did."
"To be fair, you did most of the work," I teased, trying to catch my breath. I was still shaky, but I wiggled against him so he’d put me down.
He smirked, letting me down to the floor. "Oh, I know. That's why I wasn't thanking you for the orgasm."
"You've already thanked me for the other thing." What I'd seen this morning was honestly the realest, rawest thing I'd ever had the pleasure of witnessing.
I loved music, had a nearly unbridled passion for my job, and had a great deal of respect for those who made the music I loved so much. But when you dealt with bands at the level I did, it was sometimes easy to forget where it all came from.
I would owe Kelly forever for giving me the idea that would spark the reunion I felt kind of privileged to have been a witness to.
Destitute stripped down to nothing but their music and who they really were was something to behold. I'd seen them all up on stage, I'd seen them woo thousands upon thousands of fans at once, and I'd seen them work crowds into a frenzy, but I'd never seen them that magnetic.
Jared on stage oozing his natural charisma was a force of nature, but this morning, he managed to be even more than that. I didn't quite know how to explain it, but I knew I'd done the right thing by getting Gerry to give me some more time to figure it out. And basically breaking into Jared’s house to make it happen.
He planted a soft kiss on my forehead and swept a bit of hair that'd fallen out of my ponytail during our lovemaking, if you could call it that, from my neck. "I know I've already thanked you for that, but I don't really feel like that was enough. I don't really know what to say to someone who cares enough about me and my band to keep fighting for us, even after I stopped."
"You don't have to say anything." I pressed a kiss to his lips. Jared vulnerable and open like he was now was a rarity, but the last thing I wanted was for him to feel like he owed me something. In an attempt to lighten the mood, I winked at him and said jokingly. "I did it for the pay, not for you."
Some humor returned to Jared's eyes as he teased me back. "We don't pay you that well."
"True but looking for another gig in this economy would've sucked." I laughed, sliding my arms through the sleeves on my dress and stepping back into the heels I'd kicked off. "I'll see you tomorrow at the studio, okay?"
"Okay." He agreed, looking like he wanted to say something else but didn't. Hitting the button for the garage door, he gave me a strange smile. "See you tomorrow, Alicia."
CHAPTER 53
JARED
Matt and Nick broke out into a slow clap when they saw me. Matt shot me a sideways smirk. “If it ain’t the lone ranger. Ready to get back to work?”
“Actually, I just came to watch you,” I quipped, but I dropped my phone, wallet, and keys onto the couch we had in the studio and walked over the mic stand. Late yesterday afternoon, some roadies came by and broke down all the gear in my garage, carting it all back here.
Nick clasped his heart and pretended to be hurt. “You can’t just come watch us whenever you feel like it. You’ll make us feel used.”
“You are used,” I retorted teasingly. “Just the way you like it.”
“You know me too well,” he lamented, laughter in his eyes. “Seriously, though, you ready to get started?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Let’s do it then,” Dom said, playing a short, fun little drumroll.
I held up my hand. “Can we get some stuff out of the way first?”
On the way over this morning, I’d gone over a few things I wanted to say to them. I’d specifically left my house early, hoping I would get here before the rest so we could talk while they got set up.
Guess I'd underestimated how eager they were to get back in the studio. They were already here when I arrived, and everything was completely set up, ready for us to dig right back in.
"You don't have to say anything," Caleb said. "I think everyone already knows."
"Maybe." But I still felt like I had to do this. There were things that needed to be said, and I knew that if I didn't say them out loud and something happened, I would always regret it.
"Take it away then." Matt made a sweeping gesture with his hand as if to say the floor was mine.
Inhaling a deep breath, I met the eyes of each one of my brothers before I started. "I didn't walk out because I didn't want to be in this band anymore or because I stopped loving the music. I walked out because I never wanted to see any of you get hurt. It got to a point where it felt inevitable that was going to happen. Hell, we got this close to losing Caleb."
Every time I allowed myself to think of the seriousness of the situation Caleb had been in, it felt like there was an arrow slicing right through my heart. "When I said we could carry on recording today, I meant it. I don't expect all of you to stop partying or drinking, but I do want to ask everyone to take some responsibility and stay safe."
"I know I'm nobody's parent," I continued, hoping against all hope they'd let me finish what I needed to say before they started teasing me about acting like the mom of the group. "I also know I have no right to ask any of you to be careful or safe. I mean, fuck, I'm responsible for at least half the shit we get into. But I'm asking anyway. Caleb may be my blood, but you're all my brothers, and losing any of you would kill me."
To my relief, no one looked like they were about to mock me for my little speech. And judging by the solemnity on their faces, they understood exactly why I had to make it.
"We don't want to lose you either, bro," Dom said, walking around his drum kit and inspecting it was set up right before sitting down on his stool and reaching for his sticks. "What happened with Caleb scared the shit out of all of us, and whether you have a right to ask or not is irrelevant. You asked, and I'm saying yes."
Caleb and Matt echoed Dom's sentiment and took in their places. Nick nodded when I looked at him, his eyes faraway. I had no doubt he was remembering having to tell me about Caleb and quite possibly a lot of other close calls he'd had with so many people he knew.
"I'm all in," he said finally but didn't pick up his guitar. "Before we get started, there’s something else you should know."
My palms immediately got clammy. What could be so important, he would delay our first day back in the studio more?
Clearing his throat, Nick's eyes darted to the door just as Alicia pushed through it. "Gerry isn't here."
"He left," Alicia announced, the heavy studio door slamming shut behind her. "I've just found out he's gone."
"What the fuck?" Why did it feel like I was asking that question at least ten times a day nowadays?
Alicia's sighed and leaned with her back against the closed door, folding her arms. "I'm sorry, Jared. I didn't know he would be leaving so soon. You're just going to have to do this recording without him."
I closed my eyes, wanting to kick myself for not seeing this coming. "We can't do this without him. If we’re doing this, we're doing it together as a family. Gerry is a part of that."
The guy was an uptight asshole, sure. But he was our uptight asshole, and the guys hadn't given up on me, I wasn't giving up on Gerry. If he was gone, it was my fault, and I would have to make it right.
I'd gotten so used to having people cleaning up messes as big as this, it'd been years since I'd had to do it myself. I didn't involve our team in everything, but you could bet your ass I wouldn't have wasted my time on management issues a month ago. Now, however, I knew this was my problem to deal with.
The times they are a changing.
Alicia wasn't m
oved by my declaration that we weren't doing this without Gerry. She remained at the door, shaking her head in exasperation. "You don't understand. The album has already been pushed back as far as it can go. There is no more wiggle room."
I shrugged, stepping away from the microphone and walking toward her. "That's too bad because we aren't doing this without Gerry."
Reaching for my arm when I neared her, Alicia pulled me to a corner of the studio. "Listen to me. I understand how you feel about not wanting to carry on recording without Gerry here. I will go and search for him, but you have to start recording."
Determination flashed in her eyes, and her arms were crossed so tightly over her chest, she was inadvertently pushing her boobs up almost all the way to her chin. My eyes fought a battle with my brain, begging me to sneak a peek.
I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since she walked out on me yesterday. Never before had a woman just upped and left me after sex. Usually, I was the one jumping up and leaving like my ass was on fire.
I was going to suggest watching a movie together since she'd mentioned that was on her agenda for the day and then perhaps going upstairs for a second round. Possibly staying in bed until this morning. But before I could do any of those things, she was fully dressed, joking, and ready to get out of my house.
I didn't know what to make of it, but I didn't have time to figure it out now. Turning my head to the band, I made a decision on the spot.
"We'll have to start tomorrow. Alicia and I are going to find Gerry."
Alicia huffed out a breath, and I half expected her to stomp her foot out of the aggravation I was clearly causing her, but she didn't. Her features smoothed as she dropped her arms to her sides and planted her hands on her hips. "You're right. Gerry is a part of this, and we need to find him."
I did a pretty good job of hiding my surprise at how quickly she'd conceded the argument. Score one for the home team!
CHAPTER 54
ALICIA
"Is this it?" I turned on the soft leather seat of Jared's car to face him, momentarily losing sight of the modern-looking mansion we'd just pulled up at. "This place is gigantic."
My One and Only: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Second Chance Romance Page 89
