Theo smiled. He was about to say that it was nothing when suddenly he realised that might diminish how much it meant to Dacia to return to her island home. ‘I can’t take all the credit,’ he found himself saying.
‘I can’t wait to meet your wife,’ Dacia said. ‘She must be a wonderful person to have in your life.’
‘She is.’ Theo smiled at his aunt politely, thinking about Kerry again.
Back when they’d first been together, he’d used to think of her as the perfect antidote to his fast-paced, pressurised lifestyle. She had been exactly what he was looking for in a lover—calm, beautiful and receptive to his wishes. Like an oasis of serenity amidst the cut and thrust of his life.
But Kerry had changed. She’d once been his perfect lover—but she was very far from being his perfect wife. She’d gone against his wishes. And she’d stood up to him, calling him a control freak.
His life had been so well ordered and organised, with everything under his control and nothing unexpected. That was how he liked it.
Did that make him a control freak? Suddenly he wasn’t sure.
All he knew was that Kerry and Lucas had exploded into his world and nothing was the same. Nothing was predictable.
He was used to demanding immediate obedience from everyone in his life—but Kerry wasn’t an employee. She was his wife. Did he really want the kind of biddable, spineless creature she had described?
Ever since he’d found out about Lucas he’d only ever done what was best for his son—he hadn’t thought about what might be best for Kerry or for himself.
He remembered the look in her eyes when she’d said she knew he would never be finished with her. The thought of spending her future with him had obviously filled her with despair—and for some reason that made him feel cold inside.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE sound of thunder rumbled through the city, and Kerry realised with a sinking feeling that a storm was coming. The air was heavy and humid, and it seemed to press down on her as she trudged along the pedestrianway beneath the Acropolis. She was tired and, despite the atmosphere between herself and Theo, she wanted to get Lucas back to the hotel as soon as possible. But what seemed like a reasonable walk on an ordinary day suddenly seemed like a marathon.
The first raindrops fell as she turned out of the small backstreets onto the busy main road that lead to Syntagma Square. She’d always thought of it as a horrible wide thoroughfare, with what seemed like all the traffic in Athens speeding along it—but it was the most direct route to the hotel, and the place where she thought she stood the best chance of flagging down a taxi.
Then suddenly, with a monstrously loud crack of thunder and a flash of lightning right above her, the skies opened and the rain poured down.
Lucas howled as she hauled his rain cover over him. He was keeping dry—but he wasn’t used to being enclosed by the plastic cover, or to the horrendous noise of the rain pelting down onto it. Kerry was drenched to the skin in a second, but she kept on pushing the buggy towards home.
The rain was so heavy that the huge towering columns of the Olympian Temple of Zeus were almost invisible, even though they were only across the road from her. And within minutes wide torrents of rainwater were surging along the gutters—turbid and brown from a whole summer’s dirt being washed off the streets in one go.
Lucas was howling so loudly that she could hear him even over the sound of the storm. It was impossible to flag down a taxi because she was too scared to get the buggy close to the gushing deluge of run-off water along the roadside. So she bowed her head into the rain and kept pushing towards home.
Theo was already back at the hotel when the storm hit the city. It was just a summer thunderstorm—but when he discovered Kerry and Lucas were out in it he felt a sharp kick of concern. He paced up and down his study, looking out at the torrential rain, wondering where they were.
Suddenly the sound of his mobile phone made him jump—it was Kerry.
‘Where are you?’ he barked.
‘The National Gardens…Lucas is upset…I broke the rain cover and he won’t stay under it…’ It was impossible to hear her clearly over the crackling connection and the sound of the storm, but he just about managed to make out the location she described. ‘I can’t get Lucas home. Please…will you help me?’
The sound of her distress raked across his consciousness, setting his heart thumping urgently. She must be in trouble to call him—as far as he could remember in all the time they had been together she had never once asked for his help.
He seized a giant golfing umbrella and bolted from his study. A car could pick them up at the entrance to the gardens and bring them back to the hotel—but he could get there quicker on foot. He didn’t want to leave Kerry alone for a second longer than he had to.
The rain stung his face as he ran, carrying the umbrella unopened in his hand, dodging pedestrians and jumping the rivers of water sluicing along the gutters. It didn’t take long to reach the National Gardens, and he sprinted along the deserted paths towards the place where she’d said she was waiting.
At last he saw her—crouched down by the pushchair in the pouring rain, attempting to keep the torn cover over the howling baby at the same time as trying to comfort him. Theo’s heart was in his mouth and he felt a powerful rush of protectiveness.
She looked up as he approached, and the forlorn look on her face cut him to the quick. An overwhelming urge to reach out to her and haul her up into his arms seized him. He wanted to kiss away her misery and make her forget her worries. But then a cold wave of bitterness washed over him as he remembered he was the one making her miserable.
He stopped abruptly beside her and hesitated. Suddenly, for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do.
‘It’s all right—Daddy’s here,’ Kerry said to Lucas. ‘I can pick you up now. We can hide under the umbrella together.’
Her words galvanised Theo into action. He opened the umbrella and held it over all three of them, then he reached out with one strong arm, supporting them as she stood up.
Apparently being in his mother’s arms was all that Lucas needed, because as soon as he was cradled against her shoulder he quietened down. Theo saw the tension across Kerry’s shoulders visibly ease, then she lifted her face to him.
‘I ripped the cover,’ Kerry said, trying to look at Theo across the top of Lucas’s black curls. Her long fringe was sopping wet and plastered over her eyes. ‘I folded it back for a moment, to try and calm him down, but somehow it got caught and tore. I couldn’t keep the rain off him and walk at the same time.’
She lifted a hand to push her hair back, expecting to see an expression of displeasure on Theo’s face—annoyance that she hadn’t taken better care of his son. But the look of concern she saw in his eyes made an unexpected ripple of emotion run through her. His gaze was fixed on her—not on Lucas. And she had the strangest feeling that he did care for her, maybe just a little.
‘I’m sorry—I took a shortcut through the gardens,’ she rushed on, trying to ignore the foolish feeling. She knew what Theo thought of her, and it wouldn’t do any good to let herself get carried away by pointless wishful thinking. ‘It was a silly thing to do. I should have taken shelter in a shop or café, not kept on walking in the rain—but I just wanted to get home.’
‘You couldn’t have known the cover would break,’ Theo said, lifting his hand and brushing a long wet lock of hair back from her face. His touch was gentle, and something about it made Kerry’s heart skip a beat. ‘You made a wise decision, putting it on the buggy today. I didn’t even know there was a rain cover.’
Kerry gazed up at him, struggling to concentrate on what he was saying. The tender touch of his fingers and the concerned expression on his face were making her feel oddly light-headed.
It was completely unnerving. She knew what he thought of her—he’d made it painfully clear. But the way he was looking at her now made her long to give in to the fantasy that they could b
e happy together. That one day he might come to love her—the way she loved him.
Suddenly she felt her eyes burning with tears. She dropped her gaze, flustered by the unexpected surge of confusing emotions within her. She should not let herself pine for something that could never be. She was just setting herself up for a lifetime of disappointment and heartache.
‘I’m sorry.’ The words were jerked awkwardly from Theo’s lips as he gazed into Kerry’s misery-stricken face. The haunted look in her eyes reminded him agonisingly of the previous night—when staring into her future as his wife had filled her with despair. ‘This isn’t what you wanted.’
Suddenly he couldn’t bear the thought that being with him was making her miserable—she deserved so much more.
He felt ashamed that he hadn’t realised the truth sooner. It had taken his aunt’s comment that Kerry must be a wonderful person to make him see what had been right in front of him all the time. She was wonderful.
She was gentle and compassionate, yet ready to stand up for what she believed to be right. She was overflowing with love for Lucas, and had showed unwavering loyalty to the people she cared about. She should not have to live her life in misery.
It was his fault she was unhappy. He’d brought her back to Greece in anger, expecting her to meekly do as she was told. He’d never given her any respect. He’d never considered the possibility that she meant well when she showed an interest in his life.
‘It’s stopped raining,’ Kerry said, startling him out of his thoughts. She was looking at him with an expression of confusion. ‘I’m sorry I called you—disturbed your work. If I’d lasted out a couple more minutes the storm would have been over.’
Theo looked around them in surprise and saw that she was right—the rain had stopped. A rich, earthy smell filled the air as the ground around them soaked up much needed water, and the heavy atmosphere that had pressed down on the city before the storm eased.
He folded the umbrella away and felt the sun on his face. But its warmth didn’t reach through to his cold soul. He was the cause of Kerry’s misery, and that thought cut him deeper than he would have expected.
‘Don’t apologise for calling me,’ he said. ‘I want you to feel you can always come to me—but I know I haven’t done anything to make you feel that you can. After everything that has happened I can’t blame you for not trusting me.’
Before this she’d never turned to him for help. And now he realised just how much that had hurt him. The fact that she had never contacted him about Lucas—had never wanted him to be in her life—had felt like a slap in the face. But he’d pushed it to the back of his mind, refusing to consider why it had wounded him.
‘I do trust you,’ Kerry said, looking at him earnestly. ‘I’m ashamed that I didn’t trust you enough to come to you the night Hallie crashed the car. I wasn’t thinking straight. If I’d stopped for just one moment I would have realised I’d got it wrong.’
Theo stared down at her, suddenly realising the terrible truth. If she had come to him that night, the outcome for their relationship would have been the same. Even then, when their affair had been completely harmonious, he would not have been able to stand her challenging his actions.
‘You were right when you called me a control freak,’ he said unevenly, raking his fingers through his own wet hair. ‘I didn’t know. I take my need to be in charge of my life, of my business, too far—and I can never forgive myself for hurting you.’
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he knew it was true. But, even more importantly, another realisation was forming. It was as if the storm clouds in his head were clearing—leaving the truth standing bold and undaunted in his mind.
‘I love you,’ he said, his voice full of confidence and amazement at the same time.
Kerry stared at him in shock.
The thread of his conversation had already been disconcerting. She’d never expected to hear Theo admit that he had been controlling. And now to hear him tell her that he loved her was just too much to take in.
‘I’m sorry,’ Theo said, lifting his hand and cupping her cheek gently. ‘I shouldn’t have just come out with that—it wasn’t fair of me.’
Kerry frowned, gazing at him in confusion. He was being kind to her. He’d said he loved her. But after everything that had happened between them—after their argument the night before—how could he be telling the truth? And why had he just apologised for saying he loved her? Nothing made sense.
‘When I first met you I was drawn to your beauty,’ Theo said, slipping his fingers beneath her wet hair to caress the nape of her neck. ‘Then I discovered what a gentle, sweet-natured person you are. I think I started to fall in love with the woman I believed you to be—but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.’
‘I let you down.’ The words caught in Kerry’s throat as she thought about the terrible thing she had done. It wasn’t surprising Theo had realised the mistake he’d made in sharing his life with her.
‘No—I let you down.’ Theo’s voice was deep and resonant, and Kerry stared at his handsome face, transfixed. ‘I wasn’t prepared to realise that you were not just the beautiful, angelic creature I imagined you to be.’ He paused. ‘You are so much more than that—more than I ever deserved.’
‘I…I don’t understand,’ Kerry stammered, finding it impossible to make sense of what he was saying.
‘I controlled everything and everyone that came into my orbit,’ Theo said. ‘That was how I liked it—or so I thought—but I was so focussed on taking command that I never realised I was standing still.’
He drew her close and locked his eyes with hers, so that she could see the naked truth illuminated in their depths.
‘But then you and Lucas exploded into my life—setting my cold, unchanging world in motion,’ he said. ‘I never knew what I’d been missing until I realised what you’d given me.’
Kerry stared at him, feeling her heart start to patter inside her. A warm feeling was spreading slowly through her body—but still she hardly dared to hope. What he was saying seemed too incredible to be true.
‘I love you, Kerry,’ Theo said.
Suddenly the pure, simple truth of his words wrapped around Kerry’s heart like a tender embrace. She knew he meant what he said—and at that moment all her doubts disappeared.
‘I love you too,’ she said, her voice quavering with intense feeling.
She saw a flash of emotion pass across his face, but then he frowned, shaking his head in denial.
‘How can you, after the way I’ve treated you?’ Theo said. ‘I’ve made you so unhappy.’
‘It was partly my fault,’ Kerry said. ‘I was wrong not to tell you about Lucas. I should never have kept him a secret from you for so long.’
‘But I’d thrown you out,’ Theo said. ‘It’s no wonder you didn’t contact me. I’d never done anything to make you feel it was safe to confide in me, or to ask me for help.’
Kerry hesitated, suddenly feeling unsure of herself. Growing up unwanted in her grandmother’s house, she’d learnt not to ask for anything, never to expect too much. It had been the best defence against inevitable disappointment. But Theo wasn’t like her grandmother. He’d been generous from the day she’d met him—and he’d never given her reason to doubt his willingness to help.
‘I should have had more faith in you—and in myself,’ Kerry said. ‘Right from the start I never wanted to make myself vulnerable by asking for anything—but now I realise I was shutting you out.’
‘Knowing you didn’t want me hurt my pride,’ Theo admitted, a wry smile playing on his lips.
‘But I did want you—I always wanted you,’ Kerry said. ‘I was afraid of you rejecting me.’
She gazed into his eyes, feeling the love inside her growing, knowing it was real. This magical moment with Theo was real.
‘I love you,’ she said. ‘I’ve always loved you.’
Suddenly his lips found hers, and he kissed her in the gentlest, mos
t tender way she could imagine. She felt her happiness growing alongside the blossoming love she felt for him.
‘We’ve wasted so much time,’ Theo said, drawing back and looking down at her, his eyes burning with emotion.
‘We’ve been on a journey,’ Kerry replied, thinking how much they’d both learnt on the way. How much they’d both grown. ‘But now we’re finally together.’
‘You are the centre of my universe,’ Theo said. ‘Without you my world stops turning. Please believe that I’m never going to let you go again.’
Kerry smiled and eased the sleeping baby away from her shoulder before placing him gently in the pushchair.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ she said, reaching up and drawing Theo towards her with newfound boldness. ‘But first, please take me home—and get me out of these wet clothes.’
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4273-3
THE DIAKOS BABY SCANDAL
First North American Publication 2009.
Copyright © 2009 by Natalie Rivers.
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