by Jan Irving
Luke swallowed thickly. His heart was pounding. “You don’t need to bring him here to make me feel more comfortable living with you just because you’re gay. I like to go riding on my own in the meadows here. I like to walk your land and fix up your house. And I like you, Morgan. You saved my life.”
MORGAN felt something simmering between him and Luke as he had that first time their eyes had connected in the mission. “You were going to give her up, weren’t you?” he rasped.
Luke gave a slow nod. “I thought it was best for her.”
“What’s best for her is you, Luke.”
Luke’s gaze dropped and Morgan reached out. His hand almost went to Luke’s cheek, but he dropped it at the last moment to his shoulder. He squeezed it gently.
“I’m beginning to see that now because of you,” Luke admitted, his beautiful hazel eyes lifting again to hold Morgan’s. The moment stretched….
“Hey, can I help with dessert, Morgan?” Steven called from behind the closed door.
Morgan let out a breath as Luke pulled away, turning his back. He cleared his throat. “No, I’m just getting some ice cream to go with the pie. Be right out,” he called.
AFTER dessert, Morgan took Steven for a tour of the half-finished barn, insisting Luke go with them so he could point out what they were doing. Morgan thought it would be a good opportunity to show off Luke’s skills.
“The rear of the barn was in okay shape, so after we got the corral fixed up, I put Sable out there during the day while we reinforced it and replaced some of the boards,”
Luke said, switching on the lights, which had been newly wired inside the barn. From the back, Sable’s eyes shone as he looked up from his stall.
“The silver wood is beautiful,” Steven noted, looking around. “Like driftwood.”
“Yeah,” Luke said, seeming to soften a little at the honest admiration. “That’s what I love about older structures. They really are worth preserving.”
“Leif Gunnar has his men helping Luke out,” Morgan said. “In another week, the work should be done and I’ll be able to get a couple of riding horses. Maybe… you and I could go riding?” He looked hopefully to Steven.
Steven shrugged. “I’m not a really good rider. Never had the time to learn, I’m afraid.”
“I’m sure Luke could teach you. He is an excellent rider.”
Luke’s jaw ticked. “Excuse me,” he said. “I should get back to my daughter.”
“Gena’s watching her,” Morgan said, since Gena had returned from seeing a movie with friends specifically to make sure Jessie had someone to watch her while Morgan and Luke entertained.
Luke ignored his mild comment, nodding to Steven. “It was nice, uh….”
“Likewise. I’m glad that Morgan found such a capable handyman.”
“I’m not a handyman,” Luke corrected. Then his eyes took on a gleam. “That would be Leif Gunnar. Did you know Morgan has a thing for carpenters as well as cowboys? Goodnight.”
Steven gave Morgan an enquiring look and Morgan let out a deep sigh, his head falling back. Well, hadn’t that been fun.
MORGAN flipped on a single light in the great room, not wanting to wake Luke and Jessie, but he saw after a moment that Luke was still up, kneeling by the stone fireplace where a fire was going. Jessie was lying on the couch nearby, sleeping.
Luke looked up, hazel eyes tracking Morgan as he hesitantly approached, his boots thudding dully over the bound rugs.
“So you went back to his place,” Luke said.
Morgan flushed at the censure in Luke’s tone. “I’m an adult and I have needs.”
“Boy, do you. Apparently you have a thing for a lot of guys,” Luke said, turning his back to look at the flames.
“I do not!” Morgan hissed. He’d had it with Luke being so surly. “You knocked up some girl who worked in a bar, so I hardly think—”
“I know,” Luke said. He looked up at Morgan again.
“Maybe that’s why I don’t approve of casual… stuff anymore.”
“I don’t need your approval, Luke,” Morgan said coldly, pulling off his silk and cotton turtleneck sweater so he was just in his T-shirt and jeans. It felt more comfortable with Luke and Jessie, whom he didn’t have to dress up for.
But after a moment, Morgan settled down beside Luke on the braided rug in front of the fire. “I don’t like being at odds with you. Since you’ve come here, we’ve gotten along so well.”
Luke nodded, but his face was still stiff, his jaw a hard line as he stared at the fire.
“Do you want to toast some marshmallows?” Morgan coaxed. “We could have them and some hot cocoa. I noticed you didn’t touch your pie.”
“It’s late, and you must be tired after….”
“I didn’t stay long,” Morgan said. And then when Luke looked at him, he admitted, “I didn’t sleep with Steven. He, uh, had an early day tomorrow, some tutoring he’s doing with some of his graduate students.”
“Right,” Luke said, his voice hushed.
Morgan was conscious that they were sitting close together, close like they’d been in the kitchen earlier. He’d tried to push that moment aside, thinking he was imagining—
“I just want to try one thing….” Luke whispered. His hazel eyes studied Morgan’s face carefully; as if Morgan were a grizzly bear he was wary of approaching. “So don’t move.”
“What?” Morgan asked.
Luke leaned close, his fawn hair falling into his eyes, and then his lips softly brushed against Morgan’s.
Chapter Six
LUKE was conscious of the fire warming one side of his body, of his torso twisted so he could kiss Morgan properly. Of the smooth texture of Morgan’s closed lips and then the rasp of his heavier night beard against Luke’s. Weird, Luke thought, but then Morgan opened his mouth and his tongue caressed Luke’s, and Luke—
Panting, flushed, he broke away.
Morgan frowned, looking cranky. “What was that?”
Luke blinked. “From where I’m sitting, it was a kiss.”
“I mean, why did you kiss me?” Morgan demanded. He shoved his brown hair out of his eyes, and Luke noticed his hand was shaking. He could affect the cool, collected doc that much?
“I just wanted to know what it would be like, Doc,” Luke admitted. He had a feeling he was saying the wrong thing.
“I am not a straight guy. When someone kisses me like that—”
“You liked it?”
“I expect… I want—!” Morgan got up and paced.
Luke pulled his knees closer to his body. His heart was still pounding from the gentle brush of lips. He put his head on his knees, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can be impulsive,” he admitted.
After a moment, he heard the rustle of clothing as Morgan knelt next to him again. “Oh, Luke. You don’t know what you’re doing,” Morgan said. His hand touched Luke’s shoulder and then slipped into his hair, stroking. The kiss… everything changed by the kiss.
“I just needed to kiss you,” Luke whispered. “I’m sorry it was a mistake.”
“Was it?” Morgan asked. Then he sighed. “You work for me, you’re a new father, which has to be scary as hell, and I… helped you out.”
“I didn’t kiss you because I feel grateful,” Luke grumped, raising his head. “I did it because I couldn’t not do it.”
“You don’t make it sound like something you wanted to do,” Morgan said.
“Because it’s not.” Luke got up, feeling even pissier than he had earlier in the evening. His father would say his blood was up, but it wasn’t just his blood, it turned out. “It’s a mistake, so we’ll forget it.” He went to Jessie and gently picked her up.
Morgan’s blue eyes were shadowed as he watched Luke head up the log stairs in bare feet. “Can we forget?” he asked.
Luke had no idea.
LUKE stretched out on his double bed, the light on, Jessie sleeping beside him. If he ever felt sleepy again, he’d shift her back to her c
radle, since he was afraid of rolling over and crushing her if he fell asleep.
But now… she was a comfort to him. Reaching out and gently stroking her open hand, he studied her chubby baby face. Did she really have his chin, like Morgan had suggested?
“Can’t sleep?” Morgan’s deep voice called from the foot of the stairs.
Luke sighed. “No.”
“May I come up?”
“Yeah.” He guessed he couldn’t put off seeing the other man again, because they were sharing the same cabin.
Morgan’s eyes were even more tired than previously, and his brown hair was wild around his unshaven face, but then, it was much later. He looked like he hadn’t had any more luck sleeping than Luke.
“I used to think she was my biggest mistake,” Luke admitted softly, his gaze on his daughter. “But now I think she might be the only good thing I’ve done as a man.”
“Don’t count yourself too short.” Morgan had a trace of amusement in his eyes. “Speaking as a man who enjoyed your kiss….”
Luke shifted. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Morgan sighed, “It has to be a mistake, Luke. You said it yourself; you’re impulsive. So you were just… experimenting with the dark side.”
“You’re probably right.” Luke sounded depressed to his own ears.
Morgan looked around the loft and seemed to remember there wasn’t a single chair up here. Luke gestured to the other side of the bed, and, after a pause, Morgan sat down on the edge, joining Luke in studying his sleeping daughter.
“You’re lucky you have her. I feel instantly Zen sitting here looking at her.”
Luke nodded. “My worst nights, just listening to her breathe made me feel better, like somehow, despite being so fucking scared, things would work out.”
“I hope those nights are over, now you’re here under my roof,” Morgan said. “Sylvan’s a good place; it gives a man time to think, time to find himself. I know it helped me.”
Luke sagged back against the headboard, and somehow Morgan’s bare feet were propped up on his side of the bed as he settled next to Luke. “I don’t worry so much. I sleep more, and sleeping is something I will never goddamned take for granted again. Sometimes I get a hit of anxiety, but I’m not alone on the road anymore. There are people I can talk to, just in passing.”
Morgan’s face smoothed into something peaceful, and Luke looked over at him. Morgan looked so sleepy it seemed okay to just stare at him.
Their hands collided, stroking Jessie’s wispy hair, and there was another electric pause, just like that bit of lightning that had manifested the first time their eyes met in the mission church. Luke meshed the bottom of his fingers through Morgan’s in a tentative net.
Morgan’s lips parted, as if he was about to speak, but Luke said, “You look tired. Why don’t we just rest now, Doc? I know I’m more impulsive than you are, but shit, aren’t you sick of thinking?”
“Just for a moment,” Morgan mumbled. “And yeah, I’m so exhausted my head hurts.”
“I wonder if Steven’s favorite moment in A Room with a View was when all the men go skinny dipping,” Luke mused softly, as he went over the evening again.
Morgan’s eyes widened. “You had too seen that movie!”
Luke smiled. “Yeah.”
“Playing the hick cowboy. What am I going to do with you?” Morgan growled.
“I have no idea.” Luke looked pensive. “I don’t know any women here in Sylvan yet, and I think it’s a bad idea to ask Gena out… but maybe I should visit a road house. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me, why I… did what I did tonight.”
Morgan swallowed, nodding in understanding. “I was going to go stay with Steven tonight.”
“I figured, Doc,” Luke said. He turned his head and stared openly at Morgan, studying him. Then he leaned close again, inevitably, like one of the leaves outdoors falling from a tree. His lips met Morgan’s, warmly.
This time, Morgan wasn’t hesitant. He reached out and dug his hands into Luke’s bare shoulders. “Oh,” he whispered as he ran his palms over Luke’s skin, his fingers seeming to appreciate the hard slopes of muscle.
Luke’s tongue licked its way into Morgan’s mouth, Morgan shuddering at the first caress of tongue on tongue.
Rasping for breath, Morgan pulled away. “We’ll crush Jessie!”
Holding Morgan’s gaze, Luke sat up and gently lifted his sleeping daughter. He turned away to carefully settle her in the crib by the bed. His hand was trembling as he smoothed her hair before he got up and walked to the opposite side of the bed, where Morgan was lying.
As he sat on the edge of the mattress, he heard the bed creak, and then Morgan’s body was behind his, pressed against him as Morgan’s arms wound around him, Morgan kissing his neck. “Luke, God…! You can’t want this.”
Luke’s head fell back against Morgan’s solid body when Morgan’s hands ran over his smooth chest. When he tweaked a nipple, Luke gasped. “Shit!”
Morgan gave a rough laugh, one hand running back and forth over Luke’s flat lower belly and the line of his worn blue jeans. “Jessie’s beautiful, sleeping like that. Almost as beautiful as you are,” Morgan said.
Luke turned his head and made a face. “…Beautiful?”
“You are.” Morgan studied him with hot blue eyes, the eyes of a lover, and Luke could feel himself blush to be seen in that light. “Your hair reminds me of the color of a fawn’s coat and your eyes… expressive. They were what caught me that first time I saw you.”
“Ordinary hazel,” Luke dismissed with a self-conscious shrug.
“Extraordinary hazel, like a hunk of labradorite gemstone I have on the mantle. And your body….” Morgan’s fingers clenched over the pad of muscle on Luke’s chest. “I kept having to look away from you when you took your shirt off. Tall, blond, cowboy boots, muscle and sweat. I was afraid you’d see how sexy I find you!”
“Is that why you invited Steven here? So I wouldn’t be threatened?”
“I was so attracted to you, I was afraid somehow it was leaking out of my eyeballs,” Morgan admitted ruefully. He flushed and his gaze dropped. “You shouldn’t let me touch you, Luke.”
“Why not?” Luke pushed himself shamelessly into Morgan’s touch. “It feels good,” he added in a whisper.
“I’LL want more.” Morgan’s index finger ran over the rim of the top of Luke’s jeans. When Luke didn’t do anything, he held his gaze and undid the first button. Luke again didn’t react, except to lick his lips. Morgan couldn’t resist homing in on those lips, covering them with his own. Oh, God, it was heaven, kissing that mouth. He’d struggled with the visceral need for this man, right from the beginning.
His hand reached in the gap of Luke’s open, wash-softened jeans, and his eyes widened at what he found.
Luke laughed at his expression. “Usually women want to back off about now.” Then he sobered. “I have to go real slow.”
“I’m not a woman,” Morgan said, stroking the hardness he’d uncovered. He wanted to see Luke. He wanted to drop to his knees by the bed and suck and worship him, but he was afraid of breaking this spell.
“Yeah.” Luke’s voice was rusty. “I sure noticed.”
Luke was open to him, his body braced against Morgan’s, his sex under his touch and control. It had to be enough. Morgan couldn’t ask for more. In the morning, wouldn’t Luke be wondering what the hell he’d been doing to let another man touch him?
But Morgan couldn’t stop himself from gripping Luke gently through his briefs, running his fingers up and down.
“I want to see you come,” he said.
Luke wasn’t as coherent. “Uh, Doc!” His eyelids were tightly shut and he was panting, thrusting into Morgan’s touch. It could be just that he was deprived and shut down and anyone’s touch would feel good, but—
Morgan gloried over his control over his cowboy. His cowboy.
Luke was shivering finely in his arms, as if living for every brush
of fingers against the erection prodding through his briefs. Impatient, Morgan pushed them down and Luke sprung free, curving toward his stomach, his cock smooth and warm and velvet over iron so that Morgan’s mouth watered with the need to taste. Oh, God, if only he could….
But could Luke accept a gay man going down on him? A hand job was nothing. They could forget it, put it down to the darkness, to being tired, lonely….
“Touch me!” Luke’s hand gripped Morgan’s. “Oh, fuck…!”
“You like that?” Morgan’s mouth was open against the side of Luke’s face, tasting his skin the way he longed to taste his cock. “You’re hot for it, aren’t you?”
Luke thrust into his hand, impatient for his relief, and Morgan laughed. All Luke’s muscle and tanned skin, spread out and open for him, begging for his touch. Luke needed him, needed his hand on him. He couldn’t come, couldn’t have his moment, without Morgan giving it to him.
Morgan used the tricks he’d learned from his encounters with other men to make the moment last. This was the only time he’d touch Luke, and he wanted him to always remember that another man had given him the most pleasure, known exactly how to hold and pet him. He reached down and squeezed Luke’s sac gently, Luke just about shouting at the touch. Oh, he was sensitive there!
Morgan again wished he could put his mouth to Luke, suck his balls.
“Beautiful,” Morgan whispered. Luke had broken out in a fine sweat, his eyelids quivering, his body strung tight.
“Morgan….” Luke hissed out his name, and Morgan loved the sound of it on his lips. He sounded so needy.
“Come for me,” Morgan urged, pumping Luke. “Come for me; I want to see it.”
Luke’s bare feet thudded against the hardwood as his neck arched and he hissed, “Fuck, Morgan!” His relief spilled hot on Morgan’s hand as Morgan held Luke, made him come.
Chapter Seven
“UH, GUYS?”
Luke blinked his eyes, not wanting to wake up since he was snuggled against a warm, firm body that had an arm around him. He couldn’t remember feeling this good in forever. His body was heavy and relaxed and sexually satisfied. He liked the possessive hand curled in his hair. His head resting against a… flat chest?
