I should have kept my mouth shut about Dan and just learned everything I could. Having him pissed at me didn't help. And he really sounded like he didn't betray me. Maybe I was wrong. But there was a sense in my gut. An instinct telling me to stay wary. I almost laughed out loud trying to remember the last time I hadn't felt that sense of impending danger creeping up my spine.
I let myself into my room and stopped short as I pushed the door open. To my delight, given the fortress-like nature of the lower floors, it had windows and the view was magnificent. The building was built into the mountain side, tapering as it rose higher. The slope of the volcano, coated in thick vegetation, curved down to the ocean. Waves bashed against black rock, sending up dramatic sprays of white. I realized how hard it would be for anyone to scale those slopes to get to the windows, which looked to be made of tinted, bullet-proof glass.
Blue lowered his head and, ears swiveling, began to investigate the new space. We were in a small sitting room with a kitchenette. There were two dog bowls on the floor, one filled with water. When I checked the fridge I found beer, cheese, and grapes. On the counter was a fresh baguette, suggesting a bakery somewhere below. A handwritten note welcomed me from the "team". Blue's dog food was under the sink and there were several rawhide bones lined up next to the bag.
Blue lapped at the water and left a trail of drips from his chin as he moved toward the bedroom. It had the same spectacular views and a king size bed facing a large flat screen TV. The room was almost as big as the sitting area next door with an attached bathroom. White marble and stainless steel showed off the wealth of the owner.
There was a closet and next to it another door. It was locked. Probably led into Dan's room, I thought. I could deadbolt it from my side. And I did. Not that I expected him to come bursting into my room, but that nagging sensation of impending doom kept me on high alert.
Blue, satisfied with the safety of the room, laid down in a patch of sun and began to snore. My small bag was waiting on a luggage rack by the closet and I unpacked my few belongings. An extra pair of pants, two T-shirts, a couple of button downs, a sweatshirt, bras, underwear, a pair of jogging shorts, and running shoes.
I peeled off my wrinkled clothing and left it on the floor as I went into the bathroom. Removing the bandage from the cut on my leg I inspected the incision. It was light pink, no signs of infection. Pulling open my ditty kit I found disinfectant cream and slathered it on before taping on another patch of sterile gauze. It would soon be just another scar, joining many others on my body.
I changed into my jogging clothing and reaching into my empty bag realized I'd left my headphones and iPod behind. Maybe Bella had one at the front desk. Or maybe I was just gonna do this run with the thoughts in my head. Blue sat up as I tied my sneakers, his tail thunking against the carpeting. "Ready for a run?" He stood up and came over to me, pushing his face against my leg. I ruffled the top of his head. "Me too."
It turned out Bella didn't have an extra iPod. No big surprise there. When I made by way back through the tunnels and stepped outside, the sun was beginning to set, the dirt path shaded and dusty. I walked for a few minutes, stretching my legs. I raised my arms above my head and took turns stretching one side and then the other. Looking back I noted with satisfaction that Joyful Justice’s headquarters was virtually invisible, the tinted glass of the upper floors blending into the rock and vegetation. Blue tapped his nose to my hip, a reminder that he was there.
As the sky grew darker my pace increased. I didn't have much time. It was going to be real dark out here soon and I didn't know this path, though it was nicely cleared. I could see other footsteps in the soft dirt. Branches and brush were pruned back giving enough space for two people to pass each other. I broke into a sprint as the ocean came into view. The path curved around the side of the mountain growing narrower as one side dropped down to the sea while the other rose up toward the top of the mountain.
My heart was pounding hard, calves burning but I pushed forward, desperate to escape my own thoughts, Dan's words, my doubts; everything needed to be wiped away. I pushed harder, my feet pounding on the soft path. Blue ran alongside me, his tongue lolling out of his head.
I had to slow down, my lungs burning. The path narrowed further. My legs felt wobbly as the trail climbed higher. A breeze blew off the ocean, cooling the sweat that clung to me. I kept my eyes straight, not wanting to see how far a drop it was to the turbulent waters below.
It was Merl who had taught me to love running. After Mulberry and I fled the United States I ended up in Mexico where I was slowly drinking myself to death, wallowing in grief over my brother, slain on my account. Mulberry sent Merl to me and he pulled me out of that pit of despair. He taught me how to communicate with Blue, how to understand my own body, how to ease the panic and craziness that invaded my mind. But even Merl I didn't fully trust. I hadn't spoken to him about my suspicions that Dan had betrayed me. I hadn't told anyone. I'd kept that secret just like so many others.
The sun was hovering at the horizon when I turned back. An orange globe, liquid fire, casting its light long and low across the ocean toward me. The sea was a deep blue in the setting sun. The clouds, wisps of condensation hovering at the horizon, caught its light and reflected pink and purple with hints of powder blue on their undersides.
We re-entered the forest and the sun winked out behind us. The sky grew steadily darker as I jogged back toward the entrance of the compound. As the night air turned colder my thoughts returned to Dan. Should I just trust him? Did our history warrant that? Would he trust me now that I'd shown him my hand? And why did I do that? Because deep down I trusted him? And his ridiculous accusation that it was all a ruse to keep him at arm's length. I didn't need a ruse for that. I could do that all on my own.
Blue tapped his nose against my hip, reminding me that we were running, that this was not a time to question everything but to let go of it all. I picked up my pace, throwing in one last sprint before my run came to an end.
#
There was a knock on the connecting door to my bedroom as I was taking off my sneakers. Blue let out a low growl and I stood to open it.
Dan was on the other side. He avoided eye contact, holding out a memory stick. "Here," he said. "It's got our most recent file on it. Thought you'd want to look it over."
"Thanks," I said, taking it from him.
"You know how to use it?" he asked, looking at my bare feet.
"Yeah."
"Good," he said before turning back into his own room.
I followed him, taking a tentative step into his space. Blue stood and followed, staying close to my hip. "Dan, about earlier..."
He turned around quickly, suddenly close to me.
"Isn't it more likely that the man who you've considered your enemy for the last four years is tricking you rather than the man who has loved you since before he even met you is betraying you? Which is more likely, Sydney?"
Dan ran a hand through his long hair, pushing it away from his eyes. Staring at me, accusing me, pleading with me.
"I don't know," I said quietly, feeling like I couldn't breathe.
"You really mistrust me that much?"
"I think you do things you think are best, and that you don't always do what I think is best."
He shook his head and turned toward the large windows, staring out at the glittering sea and dark sky, opening the space between us. "I don't always do what you want is what you mean?" I didn't answer. Blue sighed and laid down. Used to us fighting now. Knowing it wouldn't turn violent. "The messed up thing is I still love you."
My heart picked up its pace, sending blood rushing through my veins, heating my cheeks, filling my ears with its powerful whoosh. "I'm sorry," I said. And it wasn't because I had accused him of betraying me. It was because I couldn't love him back. My love was a death sentence and I didn't want Dan to die. Even if he did lie to me, if he did tell my secrets to Bobby Maxim, I wanted Dan alive. The world was better with him in i
t.
Dan turned to me. The only light filtered from my room next door. "I never meant for you to fall in love with me," I said, a pathetic excuse. I could hear the weakness in my voice, What good were intensions? I'd slept with him. I'd laid in the sun with him. I'd let him fall for me, and it healed me, it made me whole. I felt tears prick my eyes and hoped that he couldn't see them in the semi-darkness.
Dan shook his head. "I know."
"You deserve better."
He stepped closer and I shook my head. Dan's empty hands closed into tight fists but he didn't speak. "Thanks for this," I said, holding up the memory stick.
"Tell me that you trust me. At least do that, Sydney," his voice was tight, face shadowed.
"I don't trust anyone, Dan. I'm sorry," I said before turning toward my room. Blue stood and led the way into the lit space. Dan didn't try to stop me as I closed the door. Slipping the deadlock into place I felt tears slide down my cheeks.
I climbed into the shower and tried to rinse away the fight. I pushed the images from my mind, letting the sting of fresh water against my wound focus me. I forced myself to concentrate on what I was here to do: learn. Wrapping myself in a big fluffy robe that I found hanging in the closet I went into the kitchen and fed Blue. Then I grabbed my computer and climbed onto the big bed. While waiting for it to boot up I looked out the window.
The moon was beginning to rise and it cast white-blue light around the horizon, but the ocean in front of the mountain stayed black, shadowed by the volcano.
I scrolled through the files on the memory stick and stopped when I saw "On Hold due to IPO". This was the deal I'd struck with Bobby Maxim. He was taking his company, Fortress Global, public and in order to make it work he needed us to back off on a number of his clients. We were giving him ten days, then going after them harder than ever. With his help. At least that was the plan. So I had ten days to get up to date on everything.
When I'd gone into the Costa Rican jungle to negotiate with Maxim I wasn't fully aware of all Joyful Justice’s operations for multiple reasons. Firstly, I didn't want to be. I was still in denial about my place in this organization. Secondly, it felt safer not to know in case it was all a trick and the information was forced from me.
But by the end of three days in the jungle with Robert Maxim I realized that there was no winning this war we were waging. This was not some fight between nations that would eventually produce a victor. It was just an unending series of battles—a philosophical fight about the basic rights of human beings and how we should go about protecting them. We needed money to wage this war and Robert Maxim had a lot of that. And in ten days he'd have even more.
I opened the first file. A chemical company in Peru had been dumping residue in the rain forest for decades, causing cancer and death. Joyful Justice had left a warning on the CEO's desk outlining the changes we wanted to see and warning of dire consequences. So far they'd changed nothing. And probably because Fortress Global told them they didn't need to. That they could contain any threat from Joyful Justice.
There were schematics of the CEO's three homes in the file, as well as information on all the board members. Additionally, there was an attack plan for the actual dumping facility. The plan called for no casualties. A simple, peaceful ending of the business dealings there.
When the company sent in troops was when we'd go to the board members’ houses. Take the men from their beds. And what? The file didn't cover that. I thought to knock on Dan's door and ask but decided that was a bad idea.
I felt my eyelids getting heavy. It had been a long couple of days and I closed the computer, pushing it over to the side of the big bed as I climbed under the covers. My head on the soft pillow, cozy under the quilt, looking out at the calm ocean, I thought about the lives we were trying to change. Those children suffering from cancer. They'd never seen a bed like this, a room with such a view. Did they have any idea that Joyful Justice was fighting for them? Did it matter? Would it give them hope? My eyes slipped closed and I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
A Problem
Blue woke me in the morning. My stomach grumbled as I realized I had not eaten dinner the night before. I'd fed Blue his kibble but after my fight with Dan I didn't have an appetite. Blue whined and paced in front of the bed. I glanced out the window and realized it must be pretty late. I checked the bedside table clock. It was already 10 am.
Blue tapped his nose to my hip as I dressed in jeans and a T-shirt before grabbing a hunk of baguette and heading out the door. The hall was empty and I assumed everyone was at work. Sleeping until 10 am was a great way to show leadership qualities, I thought, as the elevator brought us down to the lobby.
There was a different person behind the desk, a man in his forties with graying temples and deep green eyes. He smiled at me. "Good morning," I said. He returned the greeting. Blue and I made our way out to the jogging trail. Blue left the path, rustling through the underbrush to do his business.
I chewed on the piece of baguette and enjoyed the fresh air, my mind still fogged from sleep. I didn't really know what I was doing today and figured I'd have a cup of coffee before deciding. It was strange to have this respite, this break from action. Maybe that's why I was sensing impending doom. I didn't do well without a hands-on job.
That was one of the other reasons I'd refused to join the Joyful Justice council for so long. As important decision makers with intimate knowledge of Joyful Justice's confidential workings, we weren't supposed to put ourselves in harm’s way. But I sucked as a pencil pusher and when I'd agreed to join I'd made it clear I was not going to spend the rest of my days behind a desk. I was going to pick a mission and I was going to go out and make something right in this world, using a gun, my brain, and Blue.
Blue and I headed back inside. The man at the front desk, whose name turned out to be Bruce, directed me to the "breakfast room" which looked out over the ocean and had seating for about fifty. The tables were all empty. I was late for breakfast, I guessed. But there was still coffee set out on one of the long tables. I filled a cup before returning to my room.
I gave Blue his kibble and ate some of the cheese from the fridge before opening my computer again. For the next three hours I poured through files. From the active missions to the open concerns. Requests from forum members: missing family, out of control gangs, unsolved murders, the list went on. There was so much suffering and loss in this world. My heart ached by the time there was a knock at my door.
Blue looked over at me as he glided toward the entrance. Standing up, I stretched, feeling the pain of having hunched so long over a computer. I checked the peephole and saw Dan. He smiled when I opened the door. I was pretty sure we were going to pretend like last night never happened. "How you doing?" he asked.
"Good, I'm just going over everything. Kind of depressing," I said.
Dan cocked his head. "What do you mean?"
"So many people. So many requests."
"Right, but we're helping them."
"No, I know. It just feels, I don't know, so big. So... I want to get out there and help." Dan nodded, and gave me a half smile. "Come on in," I said, pushing the door open wider. He stepped into the small sitting room and kitchen, then made his way over to my computer.
"You have any questions?"
"A few. Like what is the plan for the board members and CEO from that chemical plant?"
"Remind me."
I sat down in front of the computer and Dan joined me on the small couch, our knees almost touching. Pulling the computer onto my lap I opened the file. "We've got their house schematics and clearly we plan on going after them if they try to prevent us from shutting down the plant. But what are we going to do to them?"
Dan looked over my shoulder, leaning into my space. "I'm not sure," he said. "Doesn't look like we have a plan yet. Any suggestions?"
"We don't have a plan yet?"
Dan laughed. "Yeah, Sydney. We don't have everything figured out."
"No, o
f course not," I said.
"Any ideas?" he asked.
I pictured duct-taped wrists, glinting blades, frightened eyes. "I'll think about it," I said, not wanting to admit the dark direction of my thoughts. Joyful Justice didn't torture people. Unless there was a hell of a good reason, I thought, looking down at the picture of a young boy with a tumor growing out of his shoulder, lumpy and deadly. The child was smiling though. I closed the window and turned to Dan. He sat back into the couch.
"Anything else?"
"Have you heard from Merl?" I asked. He'd left Costa Rica at the same time as me on his way to China. A friend of his, Mo-Ping, the woman who taught him Tai Chi and helped him get clean over a decade ago, was not responding to his messages. At first he'd thought it was because he'd expressed to her that his feelings had deepened into something romantic but when she continued to ignore his messages Merl became concerned. I realized that since I'd made it to the island, he must be in Shanghai by now.
Dan nodded. "Yup, he checked in yesterday afternoon. Called when he landed in Shanghai. So we should hear from him again in the next couple of hours for an update."
"Good, I hope he finds her and everything’s OK."
Dan smiled. "So cute to think of him in love right?"
"Totally," I laughed.
"He's so controlled."
"I know, I can't wait to meet this lady."
"You want to get some lunch?"
My stomach growled in response and we both laughed. "I guess so. Just give me a minute."
I shut down my computer and stepped into my bedroom quickly to brush my hair when my phone rang. It was a blocked number but when I answered it I instantly recognized Robert Maxim's smooth voice. "Sydney," he said.
"Robert," I tried to keep my voice steady. The man always put me on edge.
"I've been missing you."
"It's been like two days," I said.
"Yes, and I've been so bored."
"Taking a company public isn't exciting?"
Shadow Harvest (A Sydney Rye Mystery, #7) Page 3
