‘Well, why don’t you?’
‘What? Marry Kate after all?’
‘It would seem to be the only solution.’
‘You’d like that, I know,’ Adam said, with a rueful smile.
‘Yes, I would. I like Kate. I think she would make you an excellent wife. But I don’t want her made unhappy. It wouldn’t be any use if you were still hankering after Julia Redshaw or that ninny that looks so like her, Kate’s cousin.’ There was a question in her voice.
Adam said decisively, ‘There’s no question of that. Julia is in the past and will stay there. Catherine Payne is lovely to look at, but after ten minutes in her company I’m bored.’ He moved restlessly. ‘When I was in the Army I had such a clear idea of the sort of wife I wanted, but now… To tell the truth, Mama, I haven’t found anyone that fits.’
‘That’s a pity,’ said his mother with a satisfied smile.
‘So we come back to Kate. She can be very provoking, but I like her better than I did. We should quarrel, of course. I can’t think marriage to me would tame her. But we usually come about in the end. And she is never boring. Yes, I’m of the opinion that marriage to me would be the best solution.’ He came back to his mother. ‘I’ll speak to her today.’
‘Be careful, Adam! Kate is not an ordinary girl. She won’t fall over with gratitude just because such a handsome, lordly creature as yourself has asked her to marry him. Don’t take too much for granted.’ Adam bent over and kissed his mother.
‘You make me sound such a coxcomb! I don’t take anything for granted—not with Kate Payne. But, as far as I can tell, there isn’t yet anyone else. And on the whole she is fairly open to reason. I think she likes me, and she is certainly very fond of you. Have no fear, Mama—I think I can persuade her.’
Later that day three things happened. The first was that Walter Payne was riding in the park when he saw Lady Balmenny being driven along in her elegant barouche. He felt he had made a good impression on the lady the night before, and since he was a man who was always ready to improve his stock in the eyes of the world, he rode up to enquire of the Viscountess how she was. Julia was not deceived by his attention. She was still resentful of his interest in Katharine Payne. But it didn’t do any harm for the world to see that Julia Redshaw could still hold a handsome young man in conversation, and they talked for several minutes.
Just before they parted company, Julia said sweetly, ‘I do hope you are going to wish your cousin happy, Mr Payne.’
Walter looked puzzled. ‘I’m afraid I don’t perfectly understand you. Why should I wish her happy?’
‘Oh, am I betraying a secret? I shall say no more.’
‘No, please! Tell me!’
‘Well, Lord Calthorpe and I are old friends, you know. He confides in me. And from something that was said last night, it seems that he is intending to ask your cousin Katharine to marry him. I gather it was a choice between your sister and your cousin, and your cousin won. Intriguing, is it not? I hope your sister is not too disappointed. Goodbye, Mr Payne.’ And, well satisfied with that little piece of revenge, Julia drove off. She had no idea which girl Adam Calthorpe would choose. But Walter Payne’s hopes had been dashed for a little while, at least!
The next thing that happened was that Adam caught Kate as she came in from her visits and asked her to join him in the library in a few minutes. He sounded rather serious, and Kate wondered what she had done. She hurried upstairs and tidied herself, then came down and entered the library. Adam was standing in front of the fireplace looking grave.
‘Sit down, Kate.’
Somewhat nervously Kate sat in one of the chairs nearby.
Adam cleared his throat. ‘Kate, am I right in supposing that you have not yet found anyone you would like for a husband?’
Now there’s a difficult question to answer, thought Katharine. What should I say? That I discovered last night that you are the only man I could bear to marry? No, I don’t think I want to tell you that, Adam. After a slight hesitation she replied, ‘Why do you ask?’
‘You may confide in me, you know. Though if you have a liking for Ivo Trenchard I ought to warn you—’
‘I like Lord Trenchard very much, but I would never think of him as a possible husband.’
‘Good. Good! And…what about Walter Payne?’
‘Walter Payne? Why on earth should you suddenly think that I want to marry Walter Payne?’
‘It might be because you almost said as much last night,’ said Adam, slightly nettled at her tone.
‘I did? Well, I didn’t mean it.’ When Adam looked unconvinced she said firmly, ‘Of course I didn’t, Adam! You should know me better than that! It was just because you were being more than usually dictatorial and I resented it. I wouldn’t marry Walter Payne—’
‘Not for Herriards?’
A shadow passed over her face, but she said firmly, ‘Not even for Herriards.’
Adam started to lose his temper. ‘Do you mean to say that I have been worrying quite unnecessarily? That you told me you were tempted to marry Payne, merely for amusement?’
‘You needn’t sound so annoyed. You deserved it. And I didn’t think you would take me seriously, anyway. Not for long.’
‘You really are the most provoking girl it has been my misfortune to meet!’ he exclaimed angrily. ‘To think that I worried half the night about you! I was even going to ask you to marry me!’
Katharine went pale. ‘Ask me…to…to marry you!’
‘Yes, dammit!’
‘And…and…now?’ she said breathlessly.
‘It’s not necessary now!’
‘N…not necessary?’ Shock and disappointment had almost taken Katharine’s breath away. She paused, swallowed, then said, ‘What a strange word to choose—necessary.’ Her voice rose as she went on, ‘Of course it isn’t necessary! Why should you think it was?’
‘I wanted to prevent you from making a mistake. To protect you, as I promised Tom I would.’
‘Protect me? From what?’
Adam was feeling distinctly off balance. The decision to ask Kate to marry him had been taken almost in a spirit of sacrifice. Now that he had discovered that she was in no danger from either Ivo or Walter Payne, he ought to be feeling relief. But it wasn’t so. He seemed overnight to have become accustomed to the thought of Kate as his wife. It was disconcerting, not comforting, to find that he needn’t marry her after all.
‘I was worried when Ivo started to flirt with you— I was afraid you might take him seriously.’
‘And why shouldn’t I? Had it occurred to you that he might mean what he said? Do you find it so unlikely?’
‘What did he say?’ demanded Adam. ‘By God, if he has—’
‘Stop being so possessive, Adam! I’ve told you— I’m not interested in Lord Trenchard, any more than he is interested in me. Except as a friend who knew Tom.’
‘I’m not possessive! What have I to be possessive about?’
‘Exactly!’ said Katharine with a snap. ‘So why were you worried?’
‘Because I consider I have a responsibility towards you! And then when you started saying you would marry Payne—’
‘I did not, I did not!’
‘Well, I thought you had! So I decided the best thing would be if I married you myself. It’s not perhaps what either of us would have planned, but I thought it would work.’
Katharine got up. ‘How very noble of you,’ she said sarcastically. ‘You can have no idea how obliged I am to have someone who was prepared to sacrifice so much, just to protect me!’ Her tone carried little indication of obligation—indeed, it was positively vitriolic. She went on, ‘But what a narrow escape you’ve had, Adam!’
‘I don’t think of it as an escape. In fact, I’d—’
Katharine swept on, growing angrier by the minute. ‘Oh, I don’t mean from the necessity of marrying me. I meant from loss of face! For, if you had brought yourself to the point of actually asking me to marry you, I’m afraid
I would have had to decline the offer, however overwhelmingly generous you might have thought it!’
‘Why on earth would you do that?’ asked Adam in genuine astonishment. ‘You’ve said there’s no one else. Didn’t you?’
‘If and when I do marry, it will be because someone wants me for myself! Not because of some stupid…senseless…promise made to my dead brother!’
Adam, offended at the scorn in these last words, said icily, ‘If I remember correctly, ma’am, you did not regard my actions in rescuing you from your uncle’s clutches as either stupid or senseless!’
After a brief pause Katharine managed to calm down enough to say, ‘No. I was and am grateful to you for that. But you may now regard all obligation to my brother at an end. You have done enough.’
Adam was not sure exactly what he did want, but it was not this. ‘It isn’t enough,’ he exclaimed. ‘You can’t dismiss the matter like this. Tom wanted me to do more than look after you—he asked me to marry you.’
Katharine found this more humiliating than all the rest put together. ‘How thoughtful of him! How very kind!’ she said bitterly. ‘After leaving me to cope with Grandfather, and with Herriards for years, he finally delegates his responsibilities to his commanding officer. As if I were a…a puppet or…or a doll, to be disposed of at will. You must have been highly embarrassed, sir! Dare I ask how you responded?’
‘I…I said I would see that you were safe,’ said Adam uncomfortably.
‘But you didn’t wish to offer marriage. Of course you didn’t!’
‘Dammit, I hadn’t even seen you!’
‘And when you did? Ah, yes! I remember now. You thought my cousin was Tom’s sister. I remember you looked quite besotted!’
‘Beso— I was not besotted!’
‘How disappointing it must have been to discover that it was the plain Miss Payne who was to be your bride! I’m not surprised it has taken all this time for you to bring yourself to the sticking point!’
‘I wasn’t going to marry you! Not at first. I thought it would be enough if I made sure you were safe… That’s why I saw your guardian. That’s why I rescued you from Henry Payne.’
‘But it was your mother who pushed you into bringing me to London. Wasn’t it? And you were prepared to make the final sacrifice. Noble Major Calthorpe, rushing to rescue this innocent girl from the enemy, and prepared even to marry her! Thank you, but I don’t want your empty gallantry!’
Adam was incensed. ‘By God, Kate, you are the shrew I first thought you! Empty gallantry, is it?’ He pulled her towards him and kissed her hard. She fought to escape, wriggling in his grip, stamping on his toes and kicking him in the shins, but her delicate sandals made little impact and she only succeeded in hurting her feet. He laughed at her efforts and kissed her again, more lingeringly. Kate’s struggles lessened and died. She was in a daze. How had she ever believed Adam incapable of passion? These kisses were a world away from the kiss at the end of the waltz in Bridge House. Under no circumstances could they be called brotherly and, though she resisted them, they roused in her a desperate longing to respond. She had never before been in greater danger of losing control. The discipline she had exercised for so many difficult years, refusing to give way to her emotions, refusing to let the world see what she felt, was in danger of melting away in the magic, the heat of this moment. For the first time in her life Katharine experienced overwhelming desire.
Adam held her away from him and laughed again. ‘You’ll marry me,’ he said with satisfaction.
For a moment she was still, gazing into Adam’s laughing face. Then shame and anger overcame her at this final betrayal and she swung her arm to give him a ringing slap on the cheek. He bit back an exclamation and grabbed her arms. ‘You little termagant!’ he said. ‘I’ve told you before that it’s dangerous to hit a man when he’s aroused.’
Katharine glared back at him unafraid. ‘What am I supposed to do?’ she hissed. ‘Lie back and allow you to rape me? Who can I call on for help? My uncle? Walter Payne?’
‘Rape you! Kate!’
‘Let me go!’ she said frantically. ‘I won’t marry you any more than I would marry my cousin. You’re the same, both of you! Animals.’
Adam stood back and stared at her, shocked. He was pale except for the scarlet mark on his cheek. ‘How could you think…? And yet…I suppose it was natural…’ Then he turned and walked to the window. ‘I am…deeply sorry for what occurred just now, Kate,’ he said, his back to her. ‘I…I don’t quite know what happened. I didn’t realise…’
Katharine gazed at his back. She would not give in to tears, she would not! Now, more than ever before, she had to be strong. She must suppress the desire to go over to him, to beg him to ignore what she had just said, to beg him to love her, to tell him that she would marry him whatever his reasons for asking her. That she had enough love for both of them…
But some instinct which was wiser than her rioting emotions told her that this was not the way to happiness. Unless Adam Calthorpe fell in love with her she could not marry him. She would be happier alone.
He turned back. ‘I hadn’t realised how strongly you felt about me,’ he said. ‘I knew you were often angry at me, of course. But I believed…I believed we were friends. Sometimes. So I thought…. But it’s obvious you dislike me too much even to contemplate marrying me. Don’t look like that, Kate. I won’t bother you again. But before I go…promise me you will be on your guard with Walter Payne. He is a villain.’ Adam gave a twisted smile. ‘Much worse than me. You mustn’t trust him, Kate. And now, if you will excuse me…’
He bowed and went out of the room.
Katharine, left to herself, sat like a stone. She would not cry! Adam Calthorpe was not worth it. No man was worth it! How could he believe that she disliked him? How could he be so blind? Stupid, stupid man! As if she could even look at Walter Payne after getting to know Adam Calthorpe! And now he had gone, believing she disliked him. Oh, why had she been so cruel to him? He might be blind, but he had done so much for her…more than he realised. He had caused her to fall in love for the first time in her life, with a man who merely wanted to be sure she was safe!
Why was it that all the men she loved only succeeded in hurting her?
At that point the day’s third event—one which was to have a profound effect on the weeks that followed—took place. The footman came in to say that a Mr Payne wished to see her. Katharine was still hastily denying him access when Walter Payne came striding in.
‘I’m sorry. But I had to see you!’ he said.
Katharine hesitated, then gave a nod to the footman, who left the room. ‘What can I do for you?’ she asked.
‘Tell me it isn’t true! Tell me that you’re not going to marry Calthorpe!’
For the second time that day Katharine’s breath was taken away. Her inner turmoil was masked with anger. ‘Whatever do you mean by bursting in here and asking such an impertinent question?’ she exclaimed. ‘I think the world has gone mad!’
‘I demand that you tell me!’
‘I shall do no such thing! What right do you think you have to demand anything of me?’ said Katharine even more angrily.
‘Because I love you! Because I want you to marry me! Because you have encouraged me to think that you would!’
‘I encouraged you?’ asked Katharine, fighting off an attack of hysterical laughter. ‘Whenever did I encourage you, sir?’
‘Don’t try to pretend. It won’t do! Last night, when we were dancing together we talked of Herriards. You said you would like to be mistress of it one day. That must mean that you wish to marry me, after all. Don’t deny it, Katharine!’
Katharine began to regret bitterly her behaviour at the ball. It had seemed so harmless at the time, but it was having such disastrous consequences! ‘I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Walter,’ she said carefully. ‘But I assure you—’
‘But you must marry me! You must! You don’t realise what it means—’<
br />
‘I will not, sir!’ Katharine’s hysteria was even more imminent. Fighting off two importunate suitors in one afternoon was more than her nerves would stand! But this one was less of a gentleman. Walter took hold of her without warning or provocation, but panic gave Katharine strength. She pushed him away and fled behind the table out of his reach. He pursued her, desperate with frustration and rage, calling her names, telling her she must love him and threatening dire punishment all at the same time. At last she managed to dodge round to the fireplace and take hold of the bell pull.
‘If you lay a finger on me I will call the servants and have you thrown out,’ she said fiercely. ‘I made you no promises, Walter Payne. I listened to your stories of Herriards, though I only half believed most of them. And I may have tried to be pleasant to you and the rest of your family. But even that was sometimes more than I could stomach. As for marrying you… You?’ Katharine stopped as fury almost choked her. ‘Heaven knows I have no particular cause to admire the male of the species, but you are beyond contempt! I would never even consider marrying a worm like you! Now leave this house! I wish never to speak to you again!’
Walter’s face was suffused with rage. A vain man, he could hardly bear the biting scorn in Katharine’s voice, and, even worse, the collapse of all his hopes. ‘I’ll go,’ he snarled. ‘And I won’t bother you again. But I’ll find other ways to solve my difficulties. You’ll pay for this, Katharine Payne.’ He went out, slamming the door behind him.
Chapter Thirteen
Katharine sank back on to her chair. Her knees were trembling and she was perilously close to crying. She sat there for some time, trying to get calm, the thoughts churning in her head. None of them concerned Walter. The interview with him had been unpleasant, but neither Walter nor his family could affect her very deeply, and his threats had not seriously disturbed her. The cause of her distress was not with him.
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