by Renee Fowler
She doesn’t miss a beat. Technically her every movement is perfect, almost too perfect, and throughout the entire ninety minute performance there isn’t a single fault that catches my eye, but something occurs to me very clearly for the first time.
Penny might have perfected this back and forth dance of two lovers falling into each other on stage, but real life is another story entirely.
For a bit I assumed it was because she had no interest in dancing that dance with me, that she was content with temporary, but lately I’ve begun to suspect she just doesn’t understand that particular dance at all. There is no intentional subtleness to Penny’s words or actions. When she retreats, it’s not a silent enticement to chase. When she wants something, she asks for it directly.
I can’t believe it’s taken me all these weeks to see what was staring at me so clearly the whole time.
After the final bow, Penny trudges off stage. She waves off Seth’s attempt at conversation, and she tries to wave me off too, but there is no detering me after I catch sight of her arm beneath the fluorescent glare in the back hall. When she tries to hide in her dressing room, I wedge my foot in the door and push my way in gently.
“What is that on your arm?” I ask, although I can already see what it is. The makeup she used to conceal the discolored skin along her upper bicep had sweated off a bit during her performance.
She stares at her reflection briefly. “It’s a bruise.”
“From what?”
Penny collapses on the couch and grabs for the patchwork blanket folded neatly at one end. She tucks her legs up and pulls the blanket up to her chin. “Liam, I want to be alone.”
Any other time, I’d grant that want without question, but not this time. “You need to tell me what happened right now.”
It takes me a few minutes of gentle coaxing to pry the whole tale out of her. “I should’ve known better than to let him take those photographs in the first place. They’re not exactly pornographic, but... I trusted him. I thought it would be okay since we were supposed to get married, but I guess I was wrong.” She lets out a tired sigh. “I can’t understand why he’s doing this.”
Because he’s a disgusting piece of human filth, would be my guess. “We’re going to take care of this, Penny.”
“I’m waiting on him to call, but I’m not sure what I’m going to say yet when he does. I know where I can get the money. I’m just reluctant to-”
I can’t help but laugh. “You’re not going to give him a cent. Do you understand?”
“I don’t want anyone seeing those pictures, Liam.”
“And no one will.”
Penny frowns at me for a moment. “You’re not going to pay him. I can’t let you do that.”
I could without any trouble whatsoever, but I suspect that throwing money at this problem would only make it go away temporarily. “He’s blackmailing you, Penny. The last thing I’m going to do is give him what he wants.”
What am I going to do? My gut is screaming at me to go find this man and murder him, but obviously I’m not going that path.
The first thing I do, after getting Penny back to her home, is convince her to call her sister for some company. Then I borrow Penny’s phone and send a text to that ponytailed scumbag and arrange a meeting, letting him assume he’ll be meeting with Penny.
“What do you plan on doing?” she asks.
“I’m just going to have a chat with him.”
Penny shakes her head. “I feel funny about this. Liam. It isn’t your problem to deal with.”
“If it’s your problem, then it’s my problem too.”
A tiny line forms between Penny’s delicate, dark blonde eyebrows. “Hmmm.”
“What does that Hmmm mean, Penny Abbott?”
“It means, Hmmm, I’m afraid I might be bailing Liam Thibault out of jail later.”
I laugh, and kiss her lips. “I’ll try and avoid that at all costs.”
Seth is like the loud, obnoxious, annoying sidekick I never asked for, except I did ask for him. I called and requested he meet me here for two reasons. First, it will be nice to have someone to watch my back since I’m not exactly sure what I’m walking into. Secondly, it makes it less likely that I might actually commit homicide with a witness present.
We end up doing a bit more yelling than talking, although John is pretty willing to cooperate. Just as I suspected, he’s confident enough to manhandle a woman who doesn’t weight a hundred pounds soaking wet, but he quickly backs down from the challenge of someone his own size.
Staring him straight in the eyes, I smash the SD card beneath the heel of my shoe. “And I think it goes without saying, if you have any backups of these somewhere else, you should do yourself a favor and get rid of them. The charges for blackmail and extortion can be quite severe, in case you’re unaware.”
I’ll have my attorney send something on letterhead tomorrow just to drive the point home, but there is a worried look on John’s face that tells me he understands.
“Do we have an agreement?” I ask.
“Yup,” John says begrudgingly.
“Yup?” Seth asks in a screeching voice, flinging a couch cushion across the room. He’s mostly occupied himself by scattering some papers around. He also wasted half a loaf of bread that was laying on the counter by winging the single slices in various direction. “That’s all you have to say for yourself is yup?”
John crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes. “So how does this work? Do you two take turns with her, or-”
“Stop being a disgusting pig.” Seth gestures with a small throw pillow.
“I’m just curious.”
“Your days of being curious over Penny end now,” I say sternly.
John holds his hands up. “She’s all yours man. Trust me, I’ve had enough of that weird, little, OCD ice princess to last a lifetime.”
I’m not sure if it is his dig about Penny, or the smug look stamped across his face, but something snaps inside me. Before I can fully process what’s happened, I’ve closed the gap between us and my fist connects with John’s face. I’m not sure how many times I hit him, but by the time Seth pulls me off, his nose is bloody and my hand is throbbing.
I stand up and brush myself off, sucking in a few deep breaths to steady myself. “I never want to hear about you harassing Penny in the future.”
“Pig.” Seth tosses the throw pillow at John’s face but misses.
I turn and start to go, dragging Seth by the arm before he can get John riled up again.
“That was fun,” Seth remarks as we’re walking out the front. “We’re like a crime fighting team.”
Wiping my hand along the side of my pants, I wince. “We’re just missing the capes.”
“We can have Penny make us some.” Seth’s face brightens. “We’ll dress like twins for my halloween party.”
“Hmmm. I’ll have to think about that one.”
“Maybe not.” Seth shakes his head slowly. “I like you, Liam. I already liked you before, but I like you more now, and I like you for Penny. I’ll tell you what. I’ll stop trying to get her to sleep with me.”
I start to crack up. “Well, that’s awfully generous of you, Seth.”
When I arrive at Penny’s she greets me at the door with a manic smile and a tight hug. “How did it go?”
“It went. It’s taken care of.”
“Thank you, Liam.” She pulls me inside, still smiling wide. “I’m going to be an aunt.”
“You are?” My eyes fly over to where Paige is seated on the couch near Cody. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” Paige laughs. “But you’re not supposed to tell everyone this soon, Penny. I just found out.”
“Y’all should’ve told me what was up. I would’ve been down for beating this guys ass,” Cody says.
“Thanks for the offer, but it’s all taken care of,” I say.
Paige smacks Cody’s arm. “The last thing you need to do is get in trouble right now
. You’re going to be a dad, dumbass.”
Cody grumbles a bit, then grins at her.
“Do you still have those nudes I sent you?” Paige asks Cody, as if the two of them are alone. This is the fourth time I’ve met them, and I’ve almost grown used to her frankness.
“Of course I still have them,” Cody says.
“Well, hang on to them.” Paige picks up the deck of cards from the coffee table and starts shuffling them expertly. “This little spawn is going to wreck my body. My tits are never going to be the same again.”
“Babe, I’ll always love your tits. You know that.”
“Aww. That’s so sweet.” They kiss and I turn away to hide my silent laugh. “Liam, come play cards with us.”
“Grab one of those up on the counter first,” Cody calls out. “I made them myself.”
“What is it?” I ask.
“They’re cosmic rice crispy treats. I don’t usually eat things like this, but they’re really good.” Penny grabs one and presses it to my lips for me to take a bite, then she takes a small nibble from the same piece.
“Penny, you might want to chillax on the treats,” Paige says. “I think you’ve had enough.”
“Because I’m a fat cow?” Penny asks with a giggle.
“No, because you seem very relaxed,” Paige says. “You’re relaxed enough as it is.”
Penny’s eyes narrow in her sister’s direction. “Did you drug me?”
Paige rolls her eyes. “Don’t say it like that, like I had devious intentions. You were freaking the fuck out about what that asshole was trying to do. Besides, we needed to get rid of those. Cody and I are both quitting until the baby is born.”
Cody doesn’t look too pleased at the prospect of sober living, but he nods his head in agreement. Meanwhile, Penny appears mildly furious. “You know I don’t like to take anything. Ever. Paige, you should have asked me first.”
“If I had asked, you would’ve said no, and then you’d still be sitting over there trying to rub a hole in that blanket, or pulling your hair out. It’s only pot, Penny.”
I pet Penny’s shoulder, catching her attention, and smile at her. “You’ll be okay.”
Penny’s eyes go wide. “Liam, what happened to your hand?”
Cody comes closer to take a look. He starts to laugh. “I think the real question is, what happened to that fuckers face.”
After pizza, a movie, and time spent speculating over the gender of Paige’s unborn child, Paige and Cody depart. Penny drapes her head across my lap and inspects my hand closely. “I can’t believe you hit him.”
“I can’t believe he is such a disgusting excuse for a human being. Penny, how on earth did you end up with someone like him?”
She stretches languidly and cradles my hand gently near the base of her neck. “I have no idea, but he wasn’t always such an ass.” Penny lets out a tired sigh. “Maybe he was and I just didn’t realize.”
Chapter 20
Penny
The studio door flung open with a startling force, recoiling against the nearby wall with a bang. I jump a bit at the bar and caught sight of Andrea barreling in my direction. I try to make sense of her posture, which was frantic, in contrast to her face, which is lit up with a huge smile.
She catches me up in a tight, backwards hug. “Penny. Love. I thought I knew you after all these years.”
“You do,” I say, addressing her in the mirror. “Andrea, I’m all sweaty.”
“I don’t care. I really don’t.” Andrea nudges me around so we’re facing each other, and she smacks a loud kiss on my cheek. “I just spoke to your father, who is a very generous man by the way. The donation he made on your behalf is… Well, it’s staggering obviously, and it’s just a huge relief.”
“He’s not my father,” I blurt out.
“Oh.” Andrea releases me from her grasp, blinking at me, and I realize my voice may have risen a few decibels higher than I intended.
“Sorry. I’m sorry, Andrea. H-How much did he donate?”
“Enough to keep this place running for the rest of my life if I live to be a hundred.” Her vividly red lips form a brand new smile.
It’s enough I guess I’ll be expected to completely forgive and forget about the past too. “Can you maybe not mention this to anyone. Or not mention me in relation to it, please? He’s not my real father, and we’re not exactly close. I don’t want to be associated with this.”
She gives me a curious look. “Of course. If that’s what you want.”
“T-Thanks. Thank you, Andrea.” I turn my back to her and grip the barre mounted along the wall until my fingers ache.
She gives me another smile in the mirror, but it looks a bit forced. It takes everything in me not to shrink away from her hand gently patting my shoulder.
After she’s gone, I realize that maybe I was rude. Perhaps I should go apologize, but then she might ask why it upset me so much, and what am I supposed to say to that?
I’m torn between wanting to hide away in my dressing room with my blanket, or continuing to dance. Since I’m already in the studio, I turn the music up loud enough to drown out the sound of my breathing.
Bend. Leap. Stretch. Point. That familiar ache and burn in my muscles soothes. So does the sensation of spinning. I twirl across the space, then soubresaut a dozen times, short, straight-legged, travelling jumps that lead me back to the center of the room. When I perform a grand jeté, I hyperextend into splits mid air, come down on one foot. The practiced impact reverberates up my leg and along my spine, not painfully, but with enough force to give me a nice sensation to focus on. The flying, weightlessness as I soar through the air is lovely, but what I really relish is the come down. The inevitable pull of gravity. The controlled crash.
If you can control the way you crash, you can survive anything.
I spot Liam watching me. Our eyes meet and I give him a little nod, a silent okay to come closer. I make a little motion with my finger, and he understands because I’ve asked him for this a number of time.
I like this silent communication sometimes when my tongue feels thick and talking seems impossible. What I like even more is the way Liam leads me through a long series of pirouettes and whip spins. Faster. Faster. Faster. It has always taken a lot to make me dizzy, but I don’t stop until I’m drunk with vertigo, and even then I’m composed. I don’t stumble and stagger. Planting my feet solid and connected at the heels in a nice, straight line, I Échappé away from Liam.
He saunters over to turn off my music. “Andrea said you seemed upset.”
I shake my head.
“So I take it you don’t get along with your stepfather?”
I shrug, and let my arms float up to shoulder height.
“That’s Paige’s father, right?”
I nod.
“This is good news, isn’t it?”
I nod again, coming up en pointe briefly, then moving through the basic positions.
“Talk to me, Penny.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Why don’t you tell me why you don’t get along with him.”
“I’d rather not talk about that.”
Liam’s palms cup my shoulders with just enough pressure to keep me still. “Was he… cruel to you in some way?”
Cruel? No, Foster was never cruel to me. Dismissive and impatient perhaps, but I wasn’t his child, and I didn’t mind his disinterest in me much. “He was cruel to my mother in some ways.” I let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure why she stayed and let him, but she did.”
“In what ways? What did he do to her?”
“He cheated on her constantly, and if she had anything to say about it he was always quick to point out everything he did for her, and for me, like we were his little charity project or something. I don’t know why she loved him. I really don’t. And he… destroyed her for it. He thinks this money is going to fix it. That’s the way his mind works. Foster thinks he can do anything he wants. He can hurt people, and
belittle them, and humiliate them, and get away with it. The whole thing makes me sick. It’s disgusting.” I inhale deeply through my nose, and turn away from Liam. “But it’s good he helped Andrea. I’m glad for that.”
“What happened to your mother?”
“Why are you asking me these questions?” I pinch the bridge of my nose hard. “I told you I didn’t want to talk right now.”
“Maybe you’ll feel better if you do.”
“Maybe I’ll feel worse if I do,” I shoot back, then shake my head down towards my toes. I don’t want to lash out at Liam, but it’s happening regardless. After a lengthy exhalation, I speak. “Now that Andrea has the financial situation here sorted out, I guess you’ll be moving on. There’s not much reason to stay after this production wraps up.”
There is a lengthy silence. “I already made a commitment to do the gala, and I like to follow through with my promises.”
“Hmmm.”
“What does that Hmmm mean, Penny Abbott?”
It means, don’t leave and break my heart, but I can’t bring myself to say it. “I don’t know.”
Liam fits his hands around my hips and rests his chin on the top of my head. “Hmmm.”
“What does that Hmmm mean, Liam Thibault.”
He meets my eyes in the mirror, but I have to look away. “That Hmmm means-”
The sound of muffled laughter coming from the hall cuts his thought short. Liam’s hands disappear from my hips and he takes a step back away from me.
Is he embarrassed of me? He might be. I know I embarrassed John from time to time, especially around his friends. I was too quiet, or too loud when I was trying not to be too quiet, or I fidgeted too much. He didn’t care for the way I refused to eat in front of others either. There was plenty about me he didn’t care for, and none of my attempts at behaving normally stuck for very long.
Carrie grins at me as she comes through the door. I force my mouth to return the gesture, not that I’m unhappy to see her, but thanks to the events of the morning I’m a little bleh.
