Fortunately, Daichi didn’t let me call out from work that evening.
He picked me up, and we drove to our usual spot. I didn’t have much to say. My thoughts were running over the whirlwind of the past week.
Before I knew it, I was working the register. I had been slacking off on my duties.
“Dude, it’s cool. This was never a serious thing. Who needs serious, anyway?”
He didn’t bring up Kristen for the longest time, which was odd. I figured he’d be bugging me to go after her.
Eventually, he tried to break the silence. “Hey, the truck and I are here if you need us. I figured you’d ask for advice if you need it.”
“I probably need it,” I responded. “Did I mess up? Did I lose her?”
“I don’t think you’ve lost her yet. But, if you wait until she gets back, it’s much more likely.”
My lips involuntarily curled into the first smile I’d had in twenty-four hours. “What are you saying? Do you think I should go after her?”
“All I’m saying is . . . we’re ready when you are.” He patted the wall of the truck.
“That sounds amazing.” I shook my head in disbelief. “Am I really considering going to Seattle?”
“Why not?”
I paused. Why not? I cringed. “I’ve got a good reason why not.”
“Is this another one of your flashbacks?” Daichi’s eyes went wide as he ran both hands through his hair. “Will . . .”
“Uh, it might be . . .”
I worked as a camp counselor for the summer during my college years. It was a great job, probably the best I’ve had. One particular year, I worked at a swim camp, and there was one lifeguard who took my breath away. She was on the shorter side but athletic. Her body was strong, and her face was stunning in the most unique way. I still remember the way she tied her hair up . . . She had a distracting smile, especially since I was supposed to be watching the kids. She was mixed, and I had never seen anyone like her before.
One afternoon at the pool, I finally got a chance to talk to her after one of my kids had tripped on the deck and cut his leg. Apparently, this was one day when the universe decided to shine its blessing upon me, as he hurt himself right next to her lifeguard chair. Her name was Gashley. I am only slightly ashamed to admit I was thrilled at the injury. Thank you, clumsy kid. Gashley came down from her stand, and we exchanged a few words. I was beyond smitten, as this was the first time her smile had been directed at me. That meeting opened the door to me talking with her at the stand as I watched the kids. After one session, right before it was time to leave, I gathered up the courage to ask for her number. She gave it to me, but I had nothing to write it down on, so I repeated that number until I made it inside. I may or may not have pushed several kids out of the way on my beeline to my phone, but I never forgot that phone number.
Gashley and I texted the rest of that day and many after that. Our first kiss was in the camp/swim center parking lot. We shared the best hug of my life in the woods behind the center. I remember standing there with her in my arms, leaning my head on hers and being completely content.
We were never really close to being officially a couple, nor did we last long. There was always something we fought about, and that’s what ultimately led to us stopping talking. Although, since I had her number memorized I would text her on and off throughout the years—I wish I could have forgotten it. It was always the same joy rekindled in our chats, but they never ended well.
Throughout that summer, I remember I would often end up begging for forgiveness for something that I wasn’t even sure I did wrong. But I liked her, a lot. At one point, she wasn’t speaking to me, so I drove to the nearest Target in desperation and bought her a Taylor Swift poster. The last time we talked, she still had it.
Another time she was mad at me for some unknown reason. We were supposed to hang out that day, but she wasn’t responding to my texts, so I considered our hangout canceled. My coworkers were having a get-together that night, so I went there instead. Gashley, of course, called me when I had arrived at the party, asking why we weren’t hanging out. Uh, what? We texted back and forth for about an hour before I decided to leave the party to meet her.
But, there was a problem. I had no shoes on, my phone was about to die, and her house was in running distance. Being completely rational and only slightly drunk, I took off, following my phone’s GPS. I arrived at her house before my phone died, so I didn’t get lost. She was waiting outside for me, which was good, but she wasn’t in a particularly good mood. We “talked,” and eventually my coworker friends showed up. I didn’t want to go back with them, though; I was incredibly frustrated. I began walking away, shoeless and furious. I had no regard for my phone as I chucked it as far as I could. At that moment, without Gashley, I didn’t care. Some sight I probably was with tears streaming down my face, a dead phone flying across the street, and two camp counselor coworkers chasing after me.
I looked to Daichi. “And that is why I am hesitant to do any grand gestures, like going up to meet Kristen.” Watching romantic movies had always made me yearn for such a moment, but I knew those moments didn’t really happen, right?
“Well, then,” he said.
“Yep.”
“Do you think this time would be different? Do you think she wants you to come get her?”
Before I could answer, my phone buzzed. I picked it up and saw it was from my bar psychologists. They were asking for an update on my situation. Daichi raised his eyebrow.
“No, not Kristen,” I said. “But, it’s someone who probably would want me to go after her, though.” I paused. “I think she’d want to see me. I’m just scared. I don’t know if I can take another beatdown.”
“If you don’t go, you might get a beatdown from me, so you’ll get one either way. Might as well go after the one that has potential in paying off.” He laughed maniacally.
“Okay, I’ll go if you think it’ll work.”
“All a part of the plan, all a part of the plan . . .” he said.
This would allow me to have a clear head when I went on my mission for Guardian—or a broken heart. Well, at least I would die knowing I gave it my all. I shrugged. “Okay, let me text Chris,” I said, hoping I was doing the right thing.
Thirty
Kristen
“So girls, what are we getting into tonight?” Tracy asked as we checked into our hotel.
“I dunno, but I’m hungry,” I said. I hoped some food would improve how I felt. I had random thoughts of Will the entire ride to Seattle. Ridiculous things like, Didn’t I hesitate enough so he’d grab me and whisk me off my feet?
“I can order a pizza,” Chris said before she started furiously tapping on her phone. “Any preferences?”
I shook my head. I just wanted food.
“Okay, we’re all good. We can go upstairs.”
The three of us made our way into the elevator, taking it to the eleventh floor. After a brief walk down the hall, we reached our room and opened the doors to reveal a beautiful set-up. Seattle would be a nice distraction.
“Where’s the alcohol?” I asked. “I’m thirsty.”
“I’m parched too,” Tracy said, whipping open the mini-fridge, suddenly disappointed with the options. “But not that parched. Yuck.”
“If it’s that bad, we can go and buy something from the store. It’s probably cheaper, too,” I suggested.
Chris nodded in agreement. She was on the phone rattling off pizza toppings.
So, back down the elevator we went. And back up it shortly after we procured something to take our minds off the stressors of life.
“So, what’s the plan?” Chris asked, still tapping away at her phone.
“My sister brought me to this cool bar when we came up here before. We can go there after a few drinks,” Tracy said.
“And after pizza!” I insisted.
Tracy rolled her eyes. “Yes, that too.”
An hour later, we had the TV on, and our systems had been
thoroughly lubricated. Except the pizza hadn’t arrived yet. I lay back on the bed and moaned, “Chris . . . where’s the—”
I was interrupted by her phone ringing. “Speak of the devil,” she said before winking and walking into the hallway.
“How hard is it to deliver pizza?” I asked.
“Maybe hotels confuse them,” Tracy answered.
I could hear Chris elevating her voice in the hallway. Hunger did that to her. I heard something about “arriving before we go out.”
I hoped I didn’t have to choose between pizza and the bar. Chris walked back into the room. “Yeah, they totally got lost. I told them never mind. Let’s get something on the way to the bar.” She tapped on her phone and shoved it into her pocket.
“Yes, let’s. I’m starving.”
Another trip down the elevator and we were on our way to find food before the bar.
“How about this one?” Tracy said, pointing toward a random restaurant.
“Uh, sure.” I didn’t really care. My rumbling stomach wanted something now.
“No, no—look at the inside. It’s grimy. Let’s try the next place,” Chris said.
“Okay, well, let’s hurry then.” My legs took me down the sidewalk and stopped, waiting for my friends to catch up. “Here? You can’t go wrong with McDonald’s . . .”
“Looks good to me,” Tracy said. Chris nodded.
We went inside and ordered. We sat down and waited for them to call out our number.
“Burgers sound better than pizza now, anyway,” Tracy said.
“I just want to eat.” I shrugged and gave a small chuckle.
Suddenly a voice shouted, “One hundred eighty-six!” I stood quickly, grabbed our tray, and hurried back to the table. In five short minutes we were all finished. “Club time?” I asked.
“You’re eager,” Tracy said, just barely finishing her fries.
“I’ve got to keep busy.”
“Well, if we had turned around the car like I advised . . .” Chris began.
“Let’s just go! Too much talking and not enough doing. Let’s drink or dance or whatever you do at bars.”
“Says the girl who has been to a bar twice in the past six months,” Tracy huffed, once again rolling her eyes.
“I thought that sounded quite like her,” Chris chimed in. “Inexperienced and naive.”
I ignored her wink and strode out the door. My friends caught up, and we were on our way.
We finally arrived at the bar, and I made my way through the crowd to get a drink. Chris and Tracy followed, and we fell into conversation.
“Pretty lucky we got seats, huh?” Tracy said.
I nodded, too busy wondering what I would order to drink to give a verbal response.
“Kristen, you’re all wound up. Relax.” Chris kneaded my shoulders a couple of times.
“You’re right. It’s just easy to stay distracted this way,” I said. And it was true. I had only thought about Will a couple of times since we had arrived. Whether it was watching TV at the hotel, drinking before going out, or trying to find food that satisfied Chris, I had been okay. But, okay in a loose interpretation of the word. My sanity was held together by some string and duct tape. I considered that a win for the moment.
A tap on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts. “Excuse me, ladies.” The three of us glanced back toward some guy with spiked hair.
“Yes?” Chris asked. Tracy and I just stared at him.
“Oh, I just noticed you three walk in and—”
“Let me stop you right there,” Chris said. “Sorry—girls night.”
The guy walked away, which was fairly surprising. I didn’t expect him to give up so easily.
“How many more of those are we going to get?” Tracy asked.
“Hopefully none,” Chris answered.
“Oh, you guys, don’t you want to feel wanted?” I joked with a small grin, poking Chris in the side.
“Yes, but not by him,” she responded.
Our trio got back to ordering drinks and conversation. We talked about schoolwork and the weather. We discussed Chris’s new boy back home and Tracy’s raise at work. It was a good time, to be honest. But, in the back of my mind, I did hope Will would show up, ice cream truck and all, honking outside the bar (maybe even some fancy display of his new powers). My eyes peeked over my shoulder every so often, hoping every guy approaching us would be him. But, it never was. A few hours later, after we had exhausted our minds and bodies with dancing and conversation, we left to pass out in our hotel room. It was a little past one in the morning.
“Well, that was fun,” I said, flopping onto my bed still fully dressed.
“Yep,” was all Tracy offered.
“Is anyone else hungry?” Chris asked.
I sat up. “Yes. All that dancing wore me out.”
“Well, I’ll go get us a snack. Any requests?”
“Anything works.” I plopped back down onto the bed.
Chris left, and I turned my head to Tracy, “How are the sleeping arrangements going to work tonight, anyway?”
Tracy gave me a half shrug, her eyes still closed. It looked like she was claiming that side of the bed. Oh, well.
The keycard activated in the door and I heard Chris sing out, “Guess what I found?!”
I propped myself up on my elbows, hoping it was Will.
She appeared in the doorway with a box. “Doughnuts!”
This might’ve been the only time I was disappointed by doughnuts. Regardless, I jumped to meet her and picked out a glazed one. I might have been lonely, but at least I’d be full.
A few doughnuts later, and my stomach was simultaneously thanking and cursing me. I could just imagine all the doughnuts, fries, and alcohol sloshing around inside of me. But hey, at least all the food would absorb any hangover tomorrow (I hoped). I was thoroughly worn out at that point from running around Seattle and trying to process all of my racing thoughts. I lay down next to Tracy and fell asleep, jeans and all.
“Kristen . . . Kristen.” I woke up to Chris loudly whispering for me to get up.
“Ugh, what time is it?” I asked.
“It’s, like, four in the morning,” she answered. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m there for you if you need me.”
I rolled over and looked at her with one squinted eye. “Really? This couldn’t wait till morning? I mean I appreciate it, but girl . . .” I rubbed my eyes. “And why are the lights on?” I moaned.
Chris laughed quietly. “They aren’t.”
I opened my other eye and saw the light coming from the hallway. There was a figure in the doorway. I bolted up into a sitting position.
“Wait—holy shit—am I dreaming?” I asked Chris. She pinched me—it hurt. I wasn’t dreaming. I jumped out of bed and tripped over the covers to run into Will’s arms. I kissed him and snuggled my head into his chest. “You made it.”
Thirty-One
Will
She ran and launched herself into my arms. She wasted no time in kissing me.
“You made it,” she said into my shirt.
“I did, I did,” I replied, grinning like a madman. I backed up out of the doorway, and let the door close behind us. I saw Chris give me a thumbs-up before it completely shut.
Kristen looked up at me, her eyes glossy. “I thought I was going crazy. Spiky hair . . . ice cream truck . . . McDonald’s.” She sniffed.
“Slow down, Kristen,” I said, running my fingers through her hair. “I’m here now. I was so dumb.”
“I know, me too! I hesitated so much before leaving! It’s like the universal key jingle thing, haven’t you seen Hitch?” she asked before hitting my chest with a smile.
“Uh,” I held up my hand. “One, pretty sure it was key fiddling. And two, I already said I was dumb.” I leaned in and kissed her again. Her lips were as soft as I remembered them.
She pulled back. “What took you so long?”
“That . . . that’s a long story. I’ll tell you lat
er. I’ve got so many more important things to tell you.” I looked her up and down. “And luckily for me, it looks like you’re already dressed. Put your shoes on.” I shooed her back into the room. As soon as the door closed behind her, I let loose my most enthusiastic fist pump—she wanted me here. I had so many things to tell her.
The door opened a few seconds later, and she practically jumped out. I felt an energy surge through me, seeing her as excited as I felt. I grabbed her hand and dragged her down to the elevator.
We left the hotel, and I waved to Daichi sitting in the front seat of the truck, his feet kicked up, talking to Erin on his phone. He shot me a thumbs-up and honked the horn. Any normal person would have snatched their hand back in embarrassment, having realized it was the middle of the night, but he just went back to wildly gesturing during his phone call.
Once we were on the sidewalk and away from the hotel, I opened up and told her everything I should have told her before she’d left.
“I came to Portland because I wasn’t ready to give up on life. I thought I was creating One Year Left to give myself the chance to have the best last year. But subconsciously, I knew that just meant I wanted to find a purpose, a reason to continue fighting these symptoms. I found it that first night here.” She opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my head. “No, let me get it all out. I’ve been thinking of this the entire ride here. I don’t have it all figured out, and I may never figure it all out. But meeting you and working with Daichi has made me happier than I have been in years. I feel like I can actually do this thing called life.
“I know I haven’t even really opened up to you about this, and that’s on me, but you’ve done more for me than you know. Just by being you. Even if I don’t know what I want for the rest of my life career-wise or hobby-wise, I know I want to do it with you. I don’t know how my . . . powers will affect us but I want you to be able to quit school and pursue writing.” I paused as I waited at a crosswalk. The city was empty and quiet. It was surreal in the best way.
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