by Liz Schulte
Yep. Definitely let him hold on too long.
I waved him off. “I’m feeling better already.” I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and looked around the room again. This time I spotted her little soul though it was still faint to me. She was sitting in the cabinet of the entertainment center, playing with her doll. I sat back on my heels and didn’t reach for her.
“Eat?” I asked.
She nodded and crawled out.
“I’ve got this, Quintus. Thanks again for your help. Talk to you later.” I walked to the back of the warehouse with the girl, my hands shaking like leaves as dizziness hit me again. I shouldn’t have wasted my energy on the guardian powers.
Quintus followed us into the kitchen. “How long have you known you were sick?”
“Since I woke up or thereabouts,” I said, looking into the refrigerator.
“Surely there is something we can do, something that will make you better?”
I bit my lip. “Well, what you just did gave me more energy than I’ve had for days. If you could keep me going—I know it’s not a permanent solution—until all of this is done, then…” I shrugged.
He blinked a few times. “Then what?”
“Then we’ll let the virus or whatever it is run its course, but you have to swear to me not to tell Holden. I don’t want him to stay with me because he feels sorry for me. If he wants to leave, I want him to have that option.”
Quintus gave me an incredulous look. “Why would he want to leave?”
I rubbed my temples. “Because I ruined everything.”
“What are you talking about?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I just don’t want his or anyone’s sympathy right now.” I didn’t deserve it. I pulled out a pan and worked on making a grilled cheese sandwich for the girl, pretending I didn’t feel Quintus staring at my back.
“Olivia, it’s not always about what you want.” The emotion in his near-whisper made my throat hurt, and tears threatened to spill over my lashes. His gentle hands turned me around. His own eyes were wet. Damn it. He had figured it out. “You should tell Holden.”
“Tell him what?” I asked barely breathing.
“That you’re dying.”
I looked away.
“I thought so,” he said softly.
“When are you going to admit things are over with your little chickadee?” Sybil asked, trailing her finger along my jaw. “Love is such a prickly beast. It’s always best to avoid it, and when that isn’t possible? Kill it. Can I be there when you let her down? So smug.”
I didn’t react because a reaction was exactly what she wanted. She wanted me to brush her away or to invite her closer. Both were equally tempting options, but for very different reasons. Neither were what I wanted, though. I wanted things to go back to the way they were, that short time when everything was perfect. It would have been better to never have experienced it, than to know it and lose it.
I focused internally and let flames erupt over me—I was getting better at controlling it. Sybil jerked her hand away, fingers blistered. “We need captains. Thoughts?” I sat behind my desk, and though I’d never wanted to be back here, it felt right. I could control this.
“Jinn are sheep. Don’t change too much and their behavior shouldn’t change,” Phoenix said, leaning against the wall. “So the flame thing … Am I going to be able to do that?”
Regardless of whether or not it was easier for them not to change, they had to. We didn’t need to recruit souls anymore. In fact, there wasn’t even a way to make new jinn without an angel. If we didn’t change, we’d become an endangered species. We had too many enemies and not nearly enough resources. However, I had no idea how to direct them. Quintus said all the jinn were free. How was I supposed to even find them, let alone get them to follow me without the Seal? Fucking fuck fuck.
I took a deep breath. This was why I needed Baker. “Bring in Elliot Roth, Hudson Collins, and Jakob Rossi.”
Phoenix left and Sybil perched on the corner of my desk, pouting her lips in my direction. “As fun as all this is, torturing your girlfriend is much more enjoyable. I’m leaving.”
“Leave her alone or I’ll fulfill my end of our bargain.”
Sybil winked and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “Why because you love her?” She rolled her eyes. “P.S., fulfilling your promise is hardly a threat. You’re slipping.” She swung her hips as she walked out, making the beads around her waist rattle.
Phoenix returned with the jinn I requested. They were the most level headed of the jinn I knew and should be able to keep their shit together enough to help me out. When they all stood in front of my desk I looked up at them. “The four of you will report directly to me and the rest of the jinn will be divided into districts. We will divide North, South, East, and West. When we get downstairs, line up accordingly. You’re each in charge of your own district. Keep them controlled and afraid of retribution. We’ll make examples of a few, and then it should be easy enough to control the rest—at least for a while. If someone fucks up in your area, I’ll hold you responsible.”
Phoenix smirked, Elliot (the youngest of them) looked dutifully frightened, Hudson crossed his arms over his barrel-like chest, and Jakob stroked his beard.
“Why us?” Jakob asked.
“I’m not here to boost your ego. The four of you are controlled enough to manage this, but you’re still expendable. Don’t forget that. I don’t need you to survive, but you need me to. As soon as this project becomes more of a hassle than it’s worth to me, I’m out. I’m fine with being the only one left.” I waited to see if they would buy my lie. Sure, I was fine with being the only jinn left in the end—but it wasn’t the end. My war wasn’t over yet. I still needed them loyal to me.
“What do you want them to do?” Phoenix asked. “What are your goals for the jinn?”
“Hell is our one and only concern. We need to know how far they’re willing to go to get us back. We need to protect ourselves and each other.”
Hudson scoffed. I glared and let a blue flame dance in my eyes—yep, definitely getting the hang of this ability—until he looked away.
Elliot nodded. “The larger our numbers, the stronger we are. It doesn’t make sense being autonomous.”
I nodded. “Hell will make its move against us. It’s only a matter of time. Keep the jinn focused and vigilant.”
They followed me out of the office and to the roomful of jinn. I stepped on stage and they stood behind me.
“Just because you are free, doesn’t mean there aren’t rules. Do not reveal yourself to humans or you will be killed. Do not bargain for souls or you will be killed. Do not draw attention to our race or you will be killed. I expect loyalty to myself and to your fellow jinn. If you fail to live up my expectations, you will be killed. Do you understand?” I allowed flames to explode from my skin—then took their silence as consensus. “Good.”
Not a whisper or fidget came from the crowd before me, as they waited on my next words. “Now is the time to prepare. Hell will not let us go without a fight. They are coming and we will be ready. Keep your contacts primed and your eyes and ears open. If you hear anything or see anything, notify your captain.” I went down the line behind me. “North. South. East. West. That’s all I have. If you have a question, figure it out. I’m not here to hold your hands or run your lives. Use common sense and control your emotions at all times. And if I were you, I’d avoid demons for a while.”
They stared back at me.
“How do you do the flames?” someone called out.
“I got stronger,” I said before I hopped down from the stage and strode out of the room. I looked at the dark rickety stairwell and the back entrance, considering my options. Behind me, the jinn grew louder until their conversing was a low roar. Finally I made up my mind and headed outside into the relentless thunderstorm. I didn’t want to go back to the warehouse, but I also didn’t want to be here with the jinn. Olivia was at the wa
rehouse, and it hurt to look at her or hear her voice. No matter how mad I was, I couldn’t stop loving her. Damn if I didn’t try, but she was under my skin, a part of me that I wanted to hate. Without her, without that part, none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have been taken in by Hell’s clumsy plan. Baker wouldn’t have died. I wouldn’t have had to fight my own allies. But I let weakness in, and now it was destroying me.
I shook off the long-denied thoughts. The situation had replayed in my mind a million times. If I hadn’t been so desperate to get her back—no, not again. It didn’t matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was Mammon. If I could defeat him, Hell would stop trying. The war would cost them more than they were willing to spend. It would establish us as a legitimate force in the Abyss. Now, it was just a matter of figuring out how to win without an angel in our corner.
I walked without seeing, mostly because I had to stare at my feet to keep the rain out of my eyes. I needed to find out more about Mammon. I needed to learn his strengths and weaknesses and, more importantly, how to ensure this fight was on my terms, not his. What I needed was someone who knew a lot about Hell, which got me thinking harder. The vampire was the only non-demon who came to mind.
Femi had tracked down Corbin to find the pathway out of purgatory. Why would he know how to get out, unless he had been in? Not that the vampire, or any vampire, had ever been even remotely helpful to me before, but perhaps he could be persuaded? He was old enough that physical violence probably wasn’t going to break him. Vampires knew how to deal with pain or they didn’t last. Their lives were often feast or famine. In times of war or strife, they fed openly and often because they could. The rest of the time, they lurked in shadows, hiding, trying not to draw attention. They knew pain, they knew isolation—my usual tools. However, everyone wanted something. All I had to do was figure out what Corbin wanted and then I’d own him.
I glanced up and found I was in front of Baker’s house, which was actually Maggie’s house now. Not that he left it to her or anything, but Femi moved Maggie in as soon as we got back from Arizona. Maggie was no longer suited to apartment living—especially while she was learning how to control herself. Baker’s neighborhood may have been unsavory, but she could more than take care of herself.
“You just going to stand in the rain all day?” she called as she opened the door.
I wiped water off the face of my watch. It was too early for her to be up. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” We still didn’t know how sunlight and half-vampires mesh.
“By all means, just stand in the storm shouting at me instead of coming inside.” Maggie shut the door.
I went up the steps and shook myself off on the porch, though it was hopeless; I was soaked through. I turned the handle and walked inside.
Maggie had blackout curtains and cardboard over the windows to block all natural light, but every bulb in the house was on. I surveyed the layout of the place. Baker had all but disappeared, and touches of her were everywhere, especially in the homemade cupcakes covering the kitchen table and all the countertops.
“Hungry?” I asked. “Have you figured out how you feed…other than on cupcakes?”
Her curly hair was a mess, and her crimson eyes were still jarring. “I haven’t. I’m starving and I can’t sleep. Baking distracts me somewhat, so I make cupcakes.” She looked at me seriously. “All day. Every day.” She beckoned me to follow her into the kitchen, where two giant black trash bags sat. “Wanna guess what’s in them?”
“Cupcakes?”
She nodded, then plucked one off the counter and looked at it longingly. “I’m getting better at decorating them. Too bad they all taste like shit now.” She sighed. “Yesterday was garbage day. I put out fifteen bags of cupcakes. I have a problem.”
I scratched my jaw. I sucked at women problems. “I could ask Olivia to come see you.”
She squished the cupcake she was holding, and pink, glittery icing shot out between her fingers. “I’m going crazy, Holden. I sit in here alone, day after day, baking food I can’t eat. When I do try to go outside, I’m riddled with anxiety that I might accidentally hurt someone. Please help me.”
“I didn’t tell you to become a fucking vampire. You did that all on your own. What do you expect me to do? I can’t fix everyone’s problems.”
She smeared the ruined dessert down the front of my shirt. “Nothing. I expect nothing. I just wanted to complain, but hey man, thanks for listening. Asshole.” She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Oh and by the way, the whole fire thing doesn’t scare me. Real grownups talk about their problems instead of bursting into flames.”
I looked down at the flames licking my skin then at the smears of food on my shirt. The flames grew. Damn it.
Her voice softened. “Baker’s clothes are still in his room if you want to change. I’m sorry I ruined your shirt. Tempers seem to run the family. Please come sit down and talk to me for a while. Please.”
I went to the back of the house and grabbed one of Baker’s black T-shirts then added my button down to Maggie’s trash bag. She was sitting on the couch, her toes tapping so fast they blurred.
“Why are you so antsy?”
“I don’t know. I can’t stop moving.”
This was what guardians did. It was their fucking job to figure out people’s problems. Why hadn’t Quintus helped her? He was the one supposed to be checking in on her. “Haven’t you talked to Quintus?”
“Several times. He actually took a couple dozen cupcakes off my hands.”
I closed my eyes, searching for patience. “Did you talk to him about anything other than cupcakes?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course I did. I’m not crazy. I’m just nervous and, frankly, a little scared. No matter how many different ways Quintus has me try to eat, nothing takes. I mean, can I starve to death?”
I shook my head. “You’ll slowly lose your mind.”
“That’s comforting.” She pulled her knees up under her chin.
“What have you tried?”
“Life force, other vampires, humans, blood—which was disgusting by the way—raw meat—another big ew, so gross, in fact, that I think I’m a vegetarian now—and every kind of regular food you can imagine. What else is there? You know there’s probably a reason there aren’t any other half-vampires.”
I nodded. “Corpses?”
Her whole face blanched. “I’d rather go crazy than eat a rotting body.”
“Ghouls like it. No matter how disgusting it may seem now, when you find what works for you, it will be the most alluring thing you can think of.” I nodded back to the kitchen. “Cupcakes.”
She laughed. “You know what? I’m willing to try anything at this point. You bring me an arm or whatever and we’ll see how it goes.”
I nodded, probably not something Quintus would be comfortable with. “How about sex?”
“No, I’m good, thanks—and I don’t think Olivia would appreciate your offer.” Her nose wrinkled a second later. “Wait. Shut the front door. Aren’t we related?”
“Incest doesn’t do much for me.” I winked at her. “Try to focus on what we’re discussing. Have you tried feeding like that?”
“No.” Her forehead wrinkled. “I mean, how does that work? Is it like a mantis—sexual cannibalism—or is it some sort of energy suck?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It was just an idea.”
“So what would I do … like hire a gigolo if I wanted to test this?” Her face was the color of a brick. “You know I never thought of myself as a prude, but this is super uncomfortable to talk about with you.”
“Do you want to stop?” I asked.
“No. I was just sharing. You’re better than a diary.”
I scowled at her. “If you want to test the theory, I’ll send someone to you.”
Her eyes widened and her hands shot up to cover her mouth as she laughed. “The thought of you soliciting men for me… it’s just… well, please have someone film
it.”
I stood up.
Her laughter died immediately and she hopped up, too. “I’m sorry. I’m punchy. I haven’t slept, and the fact that anyone is in here talking to me makes me want to run around the house like a puppy. You have no idea. I just have so much energy and nothing to do, but I am getting better. I haven’t shattered a glass in my hands for five days. I’m actually starting to get a feel for my strength. Once we figure out what I can eat, I might even be able to help you sometimes. But, you know, just to be on the safe side, let’s start with the dead person. I don’t want to accidentally kill someone doing the deed. It would take all the fun out of it.”
I looked at her for a long moment. Occasionally, if the lighting was just right and her facial expression was just so, she very much reminded me of my brother. She was making one such face now. “Have you tested daylight?”
She shook her head.
“It’s best to do it on days like today. The clouds help cut the burn. Let’s see how you do.” I opened the front door and she came over, but didn’t move into the dim light. She craned her neck to either side, looking for who knows what. I grabbed her wrist and yanked her forward, shoving her onto the porch.
She didn’t burst into flames, sizzle, or even smoke. We were good. “You’re fine. Come with me.”
Maggie shook her head. “I don’t know if I should punch you or kiss you.”
“Neither. Let’s go.”
She ducked back into the house and reappeared wearing sunglasses and a hat. She locked the door behind us. “Where are we going? Back to the warehouse?”
“To find you a corpse.”
“In broad daylight? Um no. Please no. I don’t want to dig up graves. I’m too pretty for jail.”
I motioned her forward and she fell in step with me.
Maggie didn’t stop talking all the way to the morgue. The problem with digging up graves was the chemicals used by funeral homes to preserve the bodies. Even if corpses were her food source, they wouldn’t taste right. We had to get them fresh.
