by Miranda Lee
It was as well he wasn't out to seduce her, she realised ruefully. Lord knows what would happen if he made a pass at her. Jessica didn't like suffering from a case of unrequited lust—it was distracting and disturbing—but she was determined to ignore it. Maybe in a couple of days, it would wear off, once she got used to Sebastian's incredible sex appeal.
Meanwhile she would concentrate on the reason she was here. Finding out about her roots. She'd almost forgotten why she had come for a moment. Sebastian had made her forget. He was a menace, all fight. She wandered to her bedroom and began unpacking. She hoped Evie would come back a little earlier than five o'clock. Jessica was impatient to ask her some questions about her mother. Sebastian might know a few things Lucy had told him, but Evie had known Jessica's family for forty years!
God, but it would be good to finally find out what had happened all those years ago; good to have the jigsaw that had been jumbling in her mind fit together into a cohesive pattern.
She hoped Evie had most of the answers. Then she wouldn't have to spend too much time questioning Sebastian after dinner tonight. The less time she spent with him, the better!
CHAPTER SIX
EVIE arrived just after four-thirty, and Jessica trailed after her into the kitchen like a hungry puppy. She was hungry, all right, hungry for company and for answers for her ever-increasing curiosity.
It had been lonely lying on her bed all afternoon, unable to sleep, unable to do a damned thing. Her mind had been too active to read. If only there'd been a television to watch, to distract her growing agitation.
'I'm so glad you're back,' she said, and began helping Evie unpack the bags of groceries and other provisions.
'Hasn't Sebastian been keeping you company?'
'He disappeared into his room after lunch to write. I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since.'
Evie tut-tutted. 'He's a bit of a tiger where that book of his is concerned, but he could have put it aside on your first day here.'
'No matter,' Jessica said lightly. 'I unpacked and had a little lie-down. I've been up since four this morning. I had to be at the airport at five.'
'Goodness! It'll be early to bed for you tonight then, lovie.'
Jessica had to struggle to blank out another of those dark thoughts. 'Would you mind if I asked you a few things about my family while you work, Evie?' she said quickly.
'No, of course not. I've been wondering when you were going to. I gather you didn't even know you had a family on Norfolk Island, am I right?'
'Yes. Mum always said she had no family, that she'd been dumped on a doorstep when she was a baby and had been brought up an orphan in a state institution.'
Evie shook her head. 'That was wicked of her,' she muttered. 'Just wicked.'
'She must have had her reasons,' Jessica defended. 'How old was she when she ran away from home, do you know?'
'Mmm. Must have been only seventeen. She hadn't long been home from school on the mainland after doing her higher school certificate. I remember Lucy toyed with the idea of her repeating because she'd been a year younger than most of her classmates.'
'Isn't there a high school here, on the island?' Jessica asked.
'Yes, right up to year twelve now. But in those days, kids could only attend school to year ten. If they wanted to go further, they were sent to boarding school, either over in Brisbane or Sydney. Joanne went to Sydney and came home with a real craving for a faster life than on Norfolk Island.'
Jessica could understand that. 'Do you think that's why she left home? Because she wanted to live in Sydney?'
'I really don't know. I only know she and Lucy had a big fight over something and Joanne took off, never to return. We all thought it was a rotten thing to do, because Lucy was getting married the following week and Joanne was supposed to be her bridesmaid. The wedding went ahead, but it was a pretty sombre affair.'
'I wonder what the fight was about?'
Evie shrugged. 'I dare say it was probably a teenager rebellion thing, although I got the feeling she wasn't thrilled with Lucy getting married. Or maybe it was Bill she didn't like. I saw them arguing one day on the side of the road, and Joanne actually pushed Bill over. That's the sort of thing she would do. She had a temper and a half.'
Jessica could hardly believe what she was hearing. The woman she'd known had had no spirit. No fight at all. It was like she was hearing about a different person.
'No doubt she argued with Lucy over something and things were said that shouldn't have been said and pride prevented both of them from ever backing down later. Things like that can happen in families. Whatever it was, Lucy refused to speak of her.'
'As Mum refused to speak of Aunt Lucy. I wish I knew what they fought over.'
'I don't think we'll ever know that, now that Lucy's gone.'
'Maybe she told Sebastian.'
'I don't think so. He certainly never said anything to me about it, not even when he told me about you coming and all. And he would have, if he'd known something.'
Jessica wasn't too sure about that. A couple of times, she'd had the feeling Sebastian was keeping things from her.
'How much older was Lucy than my mother?' she asked.
'Let's see now. About five or six years, I think.'
'Five or six years...' Jessica mulled over the figures for a few moments. Her mother had been thirty-eight when she died eight years ago, which meant she would have been forty-six if she'd been alive today. Aunt Lucy, then, had only been fifty-two or fifty-three when they'd met a few weeks ago, younger than she'd looked. Of course, her illness would have made her look older.
'What did my grandmother die of, by the way?' she asked. 'She couldn't have been all that old.'
'She wasn't. It was tragic. Really tragic. She was flown over to Sydney for a simple operation and had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic.'
'And my grandfather? He's dead too, isn't he?'
Evie sighed. 'When his wife died, he promptly turned round and drank himself to death, as if that's what his poor daughters needed. Another dead parent.'
'That's how my mother died!' Jessica gasped. 'From drink.'
Evie's face was all sympathy. 'Oh, you poor love. I didn't realise. Lucy said she'd passed away from some disease. I just assumed it was cancer, too.'
'No, she died of liver and kidney failure. She'd been an alcoholic for years. You know, they say that runs in families,' she added, frowning, concerned that she might have inherited an addictive personality.
'What runs in families?' Sebastian said as he stalked into the kitchen and began filling up the kettle.
'Alcoholism,' Jessica admitted stiffly, wishing he'd stayed in his damned room. 'Both my grandfather and my mother drank themselves to death. Present thinking is that it's an inheritable disease.'
'What rot!' Sebastian snorted. 'Weak people just say that as an excuse. But you don't have to start worrying, Jessica. There's not a weak bone in your body.'
His sardonic tone suggested she'd just been criticised, not complimented.
'Another of your snap judgments, Sebastian?'
'An observation grounded in experience,' he retorted. 'Any woman of your age who's reached executive level in the hotel world in Sydney is made of steel.'
'Oh, good Lord!' Evie exclaimed crossly. 'I thought you two would get on like a house on fire. Instead, you keep sniping at each other. Heaven knows why!'
'Sebastian thinks all I'm interested in is Aunt Lucy's money,' Jessica said defensively. 'Just because I don't want to live here. Just because I'm going to sell.'
'Sell?' Evie repeated faintly. 'She's really going to sell?' She directed her question to Sebastian.
'As of this moment, yes,' he answered dryly.
'But.. .but this house has been in your family for over a hundred years!' Evie protested, her eyes swinging to Jessica. 'Your great-great-grandfather built it. He was one of the original Pitcairn Islanders who came here to settle the island after the convicts left. This land was a peppercorn g
rant given to your family by Queen Victoria herself, and you're just going to sell it?' She began shaking her head, her round shoulders sagging. 'Poor Lucy. She'd turn in her grave if she knew.'
'But.. .but...' Jessica struggled to say something. After all, this was the first she'd heard of any of this. She'd had no idea, no idea at all. Why hadn't she been told? Why had her mother kept her from knowing her family and learning to appreciate her heritage?
It was suddenly all too much. Tears filled her eyes, and she had to battle hard to control a wild mixture of feelings, not the least a deep dismay. Sebastian's hands on her shoulders startled her out of her wretchedness. She'd had no idea he'd moved across the room to where she was standing.
'You shouldn't be so hard on her, Evie,' he said gently, turning her and cradling her against his chest. 'It's not her fault. She didn't know any of this. Lucy should have told her. Lucy should have told her a lot of things, I think, and not left it up to us. There, there, Jess, don't cry.'
Jessica wasn't crying any more, had stopped soon after he'd taken her in his arms. She wasn't thinking too clearly, or breathing, aware of nothing but Sebastian's hands, one cupping the back of her head, the other stroking rhythmically down her spine. Her face was turned so that her ear covered his deeply thudding heart.
Did it pick up its beat as he held her?
It seemed so, but probably didn't.
When he went to pull away, her arms snaked around his waist and held him close, wickedly revelling in the feel of his hard male body against hers. Her darker side had momentarily taken control, and the pleasure was mind-blowing.
But such pleasure always had a price. The price of peace. Jessica knew that she would pay for these moments of weakness. And pay dearly.
. She could see herself now, lying awake at night, longing for more, longing to slip into his room, then slide between the sheets of his bed, longing to make love to him as she'd never made love to any man before. The fantasy was so strong in her mind that her lips parted, sending a hot, shuddering breath across his thinly covered chest. He flinched under it, bringing Jessica back to the reality of what she was doing, hugging a man who didn't want to be hugged any longer.
She wrenched herself out of his arms with a strangled sob.
'I'm sorry,' she said gruffly, hoping and praying he took her flushed face for embarrassment. He was staring at her, but she had no idea what he was thinking. 'I... I'm not myself at the moment,' she stammered. 'I... I think I'll go back to my room and lie down for a while. I'm terribly tired and I have a lot of thinking to do. Will... will you excuse me?'
Other than holding her by force, he really had no option but to let her blunder to her room. Jessica did just that, shutting the door behind her and leaning against it as she sucked in breath after ragged breath of much-needed air.
Dear God, what was happening to her? It wasn't as if she was the type of girl who'd ever been sex mad. Far from it. The way Sebastian kept affecting her was way outside her normal range of experience with men. When she'd been in his arms, she'd been consumed by a need so intense she could not begin to describe it.
It was insane! And very distressing.
Her head dropped to her hands and she wept, her tears almost despairing. She'd never felt so alone in all her life. Or so confused. Or so wretched. There was a soft tap on her door. She whirled and stared at it, her heart racing madly as she dashed the tears from her cheeks.
'Jessica?'
It was Sebastian, his voice sounding concerned.
'Are you all right?'
'Yes... yes, thank you,' she replied croakily.
'Evie feels very badly over what happened in the kitchen just now. And so do I. She's made you a pot of tea, and I have it here with me. Can I bring it in?'
Jessica groaned and fled to sit on the side of the bed. 'All right,' she called, hoping she looked like she'd just sat up.
He came in with a small tray, which held two mugs and a teapot, which meant he intended to join her. Everything inside Jessica tightened at the prospect, but it seemed an inevitability so she vowed not to make a fool of herself again with him.
Luckily, all the bedrooms in Lucy's Place were huge, each having a large writing desk and a chair over in a far corner. Sebastian headed for this to set the tray on, which meant he was a nice safe distance from Jessica.
'You have milk with no sugar, isn't that right?' he asked, glancing over his shoulder as he poured.
'You... you've got a good memory.'
'Unfortunately.' His remark was oddly rueful.
He smiled at her, but she couldn't smile back. She kept thinking he knew...knew about what he could make her feel, what he could make her want. Their eyes met, but once again, his thoughts remained hidden from her. She could only hope her face was as unreadable.
His smile turned slightly wry, and she stiffened. 'Evie was going to send you another slice of cake but I vetoed that. Did I guess correctly?'
'That cake could fuel rockets to the moon,' she retorted, and he laughed, the relaxed sound defusing some of Jessica's tension. He couldn't possibly laugh like that if he knew she was secretly lusting after him.
'It's a traditional Norfolk Island recipe,' he explained. 'Cooking here is a mixture of English and Polynesian. Things can be a bit stodgy occasionally, and bananas are a very common ingredient. We don't import fruit and vegetables, you see, and although we have shortages of other fruits sometimes, bananas are always in plentiful supply, particularly overripe ones.'
Jessica frowned. He sounded like he considered himself an islander. Did that mean he meant to stay on Norfolk Island indefinitely? 'Tell me, Sebastian, after this next month is over, and you've finished your book, do you intend going back to Sydney to live?'
'God, no.' He sounded genuinely appalled.
Jessica was taken aback. How could a man who'd been a high-flying dealer settle for such a quiet lifestyle?
'Never?' she questioned.
'Never,' he affirmed.
'You love it here that much?'
'I do, indeed.'
'Where will you live?'
'I'll find somewhere.'
'What will you live on?'
'I have enough.'
Which meant either her aunt had given him plenty, or that book advance had been a corker.
Another thought came to her, and having thought it, she simply had to ask.
'Do you have a lady friend on the island?'
Their eyes locked as he handed her her tea, and Jessica hoped hers were as bland as his. His coming close to her again was revitalising all those involuntary sexual responses he effortlessly evoked. Her breath quickened. Her blood began to race through her veins. Her face was in danger of flushing.
Only by a sheer effort of will did she prevent this humiliation.
'Do you mean lady friend or lover?' he asked rather coldly. Jessica swallowed and tried to look as though she didn't care either way.
'Lover, I guess.'
'You seem rather preoccupied with my sex life. Without being rude, might I point out it's really none of your business who I've slept with in the past, or who I'm sleeping with at the moment.'
Now Jessica did flush. With a very fierce embarrassment. For he was quite right, of course. It was none: f her business. But it was a subject dear to her heart-that treacherous heart that was thudding painfully in her chest within a body that was wanting him more and more with each passing second!
'I think I was entitled to ask if you were intimate with my aunt,' she said in heated defence of her own silly self.
'Why?'
'Because I—because... Well, if you'd genuinely loved and cared for her, I was going to give you some money,' she blurted, twisting the truth in order to get out of the corner she'd backed herself into. 'I felt badly about your being left out of her will.'
He stared at her for a long moment. 'That's very generous of you, Jessica,' he said coolly, 'but I wouldn't accept, anyway.'
'Why? Because you didn't genuinely lov
e her?'
'Because I don't have any need of more money. I told you, money doesn't make a person happy.'
Jessica blinked at this turn of events. A genuine fortune-hunter would have jumped at her offer. Maybe he really wasn't interested in money. Maybe all he wanted was to live on the island and do nothing but write adventure stories.
'Besides,' he went on. 'That was not what Lucy wanted. The only reason I'm even still here, in her house, is to try to make her last wish come true.'
'And what was my aunt's last wish?'
'That you live here, of course.'
A very real resentment welled up in Jessica. If that was what her aunt had wanted, then she should have stayed that day. She should have given Jessica a chance to know her. She should have supplied her with some answers. 'I'm sorry,' she bit out, 'but I simply can't do what Lucy wanted.'
'You're still going to go back to Sydney at the end of the month, then?'
'I have to.' Especially now... knowing Norfolk Island will always hold you, Sebastian Slade.
'And you'll sell?'
'I can't see any other sensible alternative.'
His eyes hardened as they moved over her. 'So be it, then. I'll leave you now to your rest. See you at dinner.'
CHAPTER SEVEN
DINNER was served in the main dining room, Sebastian and Jessica facing each other across one end of the long lace-covered table, a bowl of red hibiscus blooms between them. Once again, Evie chose to eat in the kitchen by herself, saying she felt more comfortable that way.
The main course was delicious—crumbed fish, which needed no sauce to enhance its sweet flavour, a creamy potato dish with a hint of banana in it, and a fresh green salad. A chilled chablis from New Zealand complemented the flavours and helped soothe Jessica's agitation.
Unfortunately, Sebastian had presented himself for dinner in scandalously tight blue jeans and a chest-hugging white T-shirt, both of which did nothing for her renewed resolve to try to ignore her unwanted feelings for him. She had discarded her white cheesecloth outfit in favour of a modest and very opaque pants-suit in pale green silk, though she had showered at length, shampooing the humidity from her hair, then blow-drying it thoroughly before leaving it down.
