Cocking her head to one side as she was wont to do when not understanding him, she clearly rethought her words. The corner of her lips twitched as she realized she had, indeed, not asked a question. “Pardon me, sir, I simply was curious as to the reason for your delay.”
Suddenly a bit uncomfortable, Richard fidgeted in his seat. “I suppose I realized that once a decision was made, my time at Pemberley would draw to an end.”
“I remember you saying Pemberley has always been a balm to you. Would it not be nice if you had a home of your own that served the same purpose?” Mary glanced about the room. “Pemberley is beautiful, but I do not believe it is part of you in the same manner it is to Darcy. Would you not rather have your own oasis in this world?”
Richard swallowed hard. “Up to this time I have found it difficult to think of taking a home without Sarah.”
“And now?” Mary asked perplexed. “Has something occurred which eases your grief?”
Finding it difficult to hide his amusement in her lack of understanding, he took her hand in his and lightly squeezed her fingers. “Yes, it has.”
Slowly understanding dawned upon her, and she drew her hand from his. “Oh.” Unable to hold his gaze any longer, she stood and begged to be excused.
“Mary, please look at me,” he said as he caught her hand in his once more.
Turning, she met his gaze and he was again taken by the beauty of her eyes. “You have to realize my attentions toward you have altered since we first arrived here at Pemberley.”
“I thought we had become friends, sir.” She swallowed and attempted to look away, but he laid a hand upon her cheek, holding her in place as he ran his thumb lightly over her lips.
“Have you ever held the attention of a man, Mary? Had your first kiss, per chance?” The tip of his tongue ran across his lower lip as he stood and leaned toward her. “May I have that honour?”
His lips brushed hers in a gentle caress before he swayed back to look upon her. Her eyes were closed, lips slightly pursed, and her chest rose and fell rapidly. A smile flashed across his countenance as he leaned forward and placed his lips upon hers once more, this time a bit firmer, but still gentle.
As they broke apart, he heard her sigh and he laid a kiss upon her forehead. “May I speak to your father when he arrives?” he asked.
“That would depend upon what you wish to say to him,” she whispered as she rested against him.
A soft chuckle rumbled through his chest, causing a shiver to rush over her. “Why I would ask for your hand in marriage, of course.”
“Do you not think it best if you ask me first?” she asked, as she leaned back and met his gaze.
Realizing she was correct, Richard laughed once more and dropped to one knee. “Mary, will you forgive my foolishness and agree to be my wife?”
A serious expression crossed her countenance and she studied him. “I will agree to discuss it with you further, sir, but I cannot say yes at this time. There is much that I believe we still must learn of each other. We must be clear in our expectations.”
Richard’s smile grew and he stood, taking her into his embrace. “You shall always be the wiser and more logical of us. Of course, my dear. I shall agree to your request, but I ask one thing of my own.” Mary nodded and he continued. “That you tell me the moment you have decided.”
“Of course, sir.”
Her sober expression caused him to chuckle once more. Taking her hand, he slipped it about his arm and turned them toward the door. “Shall we return to the garden so that you might ply me with the questions which clearly abound in your mind?”
“I believer, sir, my brother would prefer we have a chaperone accompany us.” She glanced about, thankful there had been no witness to their kisses.
“Yes, I suppose you are correct, but a chaperone would limit our ability to speak freely.” He frowned as he considered their options. Slowly, an idea came to him and his smile returned. “Shall we check on the children? Perhaps they and their nurses would be pleased to join us?”
Mary nodded. “I believe that would be suitable, sir.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Mistress Mary, are we really going outside this morning?” Richie asked as he tugged at her hand. “We never go outside in the morning.”
Richard frowned as he gazed down at his son. “Would you rather remain indoors and attend your lessons, Richie? I am certain Mrs. Hampton would be happy to work with you while the others take a walk.” He appeared completely serious and began to call the nurse over.
“No, Pa! I didn’t mean I didn’t want to go outside.” He looked to Mary with beseeching eyes. “Please, Mistress Mary, may I go?”
“Of course, Richie, but you must get your coat and gloves and mind your manners.” Mary squeezed his hand before releasing it and turning him toward the others.
“Yes’m,” he called as he ran to join the children who were nearly ready for their outing.
“You should not tease him so,” Mary spoke softly to Richard so only he would hear.
Laying a hand upon his chest in mock innocence, Richard smiled. “He would be disappointed if I did not.”
Mary laughed. “Remember that when he has turned the tables on you.” She took the hand of the boy who had done as he was told and returned to her side. “Shall we lead the way, Richie?”
“Yes, Mistress Mary. Can we go to the stables? I want to see the horsies.” The boy struggled to calmly walk down the hall and stairs.
“If you listen to the grooms and do as you are told, I believe we could indeed visit the stables.” Mary smiled at him and he fairly lit up with joy.
“Oh, I always listen to Adam. He told me I couldn’t come if I upset the horsies. They don’t like loud noises or when you move fast. Adam says they’re as bad as ladies.”
“He did now, did he? I wonder where Mr. Turner learned such a sentiment.” Mary turned toward Richard, a brow raised.
Clearing his throat, Richard frowned. “I do not believe it was said quite in that manner. Richie, are you certain Adam did not say horses are a bit like ladies?”
Richie looked at his father, not understanding the difference in the statement and shrugged his shoulders. “Adam says when I get older I can learn to ride, but I have to learn how to take care of the horsies first. I told him that’s why he’s there, but he shook his head and said Pa told him so. Is that right, Pa? Do I have to clean the horsies before I can ride them?”
“Yes, Richie. You must learn what is required so you can properly care for your mount. Your horse can be your best friend; he could save your life one day, but if you do not properly care for him, he could also leave you in a potentially dangerous situation.”
“You mean in war?” Richie asked as he took his father’s hand.
Remembering the lad’s love of swinging when walking between two people in this manner, Mary released the hand she held and turned to find one of the young girls instead. At once, Beth and Patience were at her sides and they continued on their way.
Richard and his youngest son discussed how horses were used in war and in hunting while the girls talked about finding flowers to make necklaces. William and Janet walked quietly behind the others, whispering.
As the group stepped outside, Richie could not contain his excitement any longer and turned toward the stables. Yelling out for his brother to follow, he ran down the path.
“Best catch him up, William, or he will have the horses riled by the time we arrive.” Richard smiled at his eldest son who nodded agreement and followed after his brother with Janet at his heels.
“Ooh, look Beth,” Patience pointed toward a patch of clover and the two ran in that direction with Mrs. Hampton behind them.
Richard took Mary’s hand and slipped it into the crook of his arm as they continued toward the stables. “I had not thought it would be so easy.”
“What would that be, sir?” she asked, suspecting his answer.
“To have you alone while in compan
y with the children. They quite love you, you know. You have won their hearts.” He allowed his free hand to rest upon hers, lightly caressing her gloved fingers.
A blush crept across her countenance. “I have simply spent time with them; listened to their stories. I have done nothing out of the ordinary.”
“On the contrary, Mistress Mary,” he chuckled softly before becoming serious. “You have seen them. Many in our society believe children should be hidden away until they are grown. You obviously enjoy spending time with them, and they recognize that.”
They had come to the stables and found a woman standing at the door awaiting them. Adam stepped out of a stall, Richie right behind him, and came to greet them.
“Gen’ral Fitzwilliam, this be my mother, sir, Mrs. Turner. She asked to meet you, sir.”
Richard turned and smiled at the woman. “Mrs. Turner, it is an honour to meet you, ma’am. May I introduce Miss Mary Bennet? She is sister to Mrs. Darcy.”
The ladies acknowledge each other, and Mrs. Turner returned her attention to the General. “Sir, Adam has told me how you and your man saw to his well-being while at Matlock. I am truly grateful to you.”
Holding up a hand, Richard stopped her. “Mrs. Turner, it was the least we could do. Has Adam mentioned our plans?” He squeezed the arm which Mary held closer to his side, as though to include her.
“He said you wanted me to be your housekeeper, but, sir, I do not have the training …”
“And will not likely get it at Matlock. Mrs. Summers began training her niece years ago to take the position when she retires.” Shaking his head, he looked down at the petite woman. “I believe it would be best for all if you left Matlock. I have only just begun to look for a home; I am certain you could be ready by the time I take possession. I have spoken to Mr. Darcy and he agrees that Mrs. Reynolds would be able to train you sufficiently. What I will be purchasing will in no means be near the size of Matlock or Pemberley.” He smiled, letting a hint of pleading enter his eyes. “Would you not consider accepting the position?”
Mrs. Turner glanced at her son, then turned toward the couple before her. “Well, I suppose I could speak to Mrs. Reynolds.” She twisted her fingers nervously. “I do not wish to disappoint you, sir.”
Releasing Richard’s arm, Mary stepped forward and laid a reassuring hand upon the woman’s arm. “Everyone at Pemberley has been quite impressed with your son, Mrs. Turner. It is clear he has gained his determination from you. I believe you could easily succeed in the position, were you to apply yourself. Please, say you will make the attempt?”
The woman smiled as she placed her hand upon Mary’s. “I will indeed, Miss Bennet.”
“Wonderful!” Richard cried. “If you go to the house and ask to speak to Mrs. Reynolds, she shall make the arrangements. She is aware of what is expected.”
Mrs. Turner curtseyed and thanked them both before following his instructions.
“Do you have any doubt that you will be a wonderful mistress, Mary?” he chuckled again at his words. “Once again, you see people; not their positions or their age.”
Taking a deep breath, Mary turned and began walking about the stable yard as Richard followed. “I had never given any thought to being mistress of a home. I believed I would simply remain at Longbourn until Papa passed, and then stay with one of my sisters.”
“A boring existence, I would think.” He searched her countenance to learn her thoughts, but found it difficult to decipher them.
“I suppose, but what else is there? My aunt and uncle have asked me to visit them, but I do not care for the noise and smells of London. I have travelled with them during the summers and look forward to other journeys.”
“Say the word and we shall go wherever your heart desires. Would you like to go to the continent? Or Ireland? Perhaps the highlands of Scotland?”
A weak laugh escaped her. “General, I am not adventurous. I have enjoyed seeing new places, but it is not something I must do. I suppose in many ways, I am simply searching for the corner where I belong.”
Laying his hand upon her arm, he drew her to a stop. “I offer more than a corner, Mary.”
“I know that you do, sir.” She took a deep breath and began walking again, a bit slower this time and he fell in step at her side. “I know you do not hold deep affection for me, but I would hope you feel some level of esteem. I could not, nor would I like to, replace Sarah for either you or the children.”
Richard swallowed and reached out to take her hand. “You know my feelings for Sarah. You see before you a broken man.” He held her hand between his own, caressing it as he spoke. “For the first time since losing her, I have begun to feel alive again. You have had a hand in that. When I am with you, there is a peace which settles upon me.” He laughed harshly. “You may find this hard to believe, but I have been a restless man most of my life.”
She looked at him as the corner of her lips curled in a playful smile. “I may have recognized that trait in you.”
His complexion reddened as he studied their joined hands. “When we are together, there is no place that draws my attention. I do not have the desire to be up or out and about.”
“But do you believe you would continue to feel this way, sir? Could you be content to remain by my side, or would you eventually wish to return to a more adventurous life?” Mary’s brow creased as her tone became completely serious. “It would hurt me deeply if you rushed into this decision only to regret it later.”
Raising his eyes to meet hers, he lifted one hand and ran the back of his fingers down her cheek until he cradled her jaw. “I have put in place a plan which shall carry me through until I am ready to turn everything over to William. In doing so, I have realized that it will be empty without someone at my side. The reason I have not been able to move forward is because I could not imagine doing so alone.”
Mary shook her head and drew away from him. “I do not wish to fill Sarah’s place.”
“That is not what I desire either.” Richard stepped back and collected his thoughts. “Perhaps I am rushing things, but I am not proposing we marry immediately. By society’s rules, I am to mourn Sarah one year. I know in my heart I shall never stop mourning her. Each time the children achieve a milestone, I will weep that she was not here to share in it; but I shall rejoice they have you to support and praise them.”
“I shall always do so for them, even were we to remain only friends.” Her eyes fell to the ground as she nudged a stone with the toe of her boot. “I love your children dearly, sir.”
“Do you not think I see that? It is clear in the way you speak to them, hold their hands, the very way you look at them. I could never marry a woman who did not love my children the way you do.”
She attempted to swallow the lump which had formed in her throat. “Then you seek a mother, not a wife?”
“No.” Richard pulled her to a stop and turned her to face him. When she did not raise her head to meet his gaze, he lifted her chin to do so. “I desire a partner; someone who will be by my side both day and night, who will struggle with me as we begin this new venture. I have a governess for my children; I am looking for a woman who will love them as only a mother could, but I am also looking for someone who will love me as only a wife could.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but she did not look away. “My greatest fear is that I will not live up to your expectations and Sarah’s shade will cast a shadow over me from which I may never escape.”
Drawing her into his arms, he laid her head upon his breast and rubbed one hand up and down her back in a soothing manner. “I appreciate your honesty, Mary. It is part of what drew me to you; and I will be equally honest with you. I know not if I will ever love you as I did Sarah, but I do hold you in high esteem. You have caused the heart, which I believed to be dead, to beat again.” He rested his chin upon her bonnet and took a deep breath. “You need not answer me at present, and I shall not press you further; but I do intend on courting you. Will you allow it?”
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He felt her nod and held her closer as he whispered his gratitude. They remained in this pose for a few minutes longer until they heard the children approaching. Breaking apart, their eyes met and a smile was exchanged. A new path led before them as they turned together toward the house.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Very well, Richard, out with it. What has caused this sudden change?” Darcy asked suspiciously while taking his seat behind his desk.
“Change?” Richard asked as he nonchalantly picked a piece of lint from his pant leg.
“Barely a week has passed since I was pressing you to make arrangements to view properties. You were adamant you were dissatisfied with all that had been presented. Now you have chosen three of the same prospects which you would like to visit. Yes, I would say there has been a change of some sort and I believe I deserve an explanation.” Darcy sat back in his chair, his fingers steepled before him, as he waited for his cousin’s response.
Releasing a sigh, Richard leaned forward in his seat. “Very well, then, but you must allow me to finish before you begin barking questions or demands at me.”
Darcy frowned, but nodded.
“You are correct, I have been reluctant to purchase a property. In part, I felt as though none would be suitable without Sarah at my side as the mistress of my home.” He rubbed a hand across his forehead before meeting his cousin’s gaze. “She has been coming to me in my dreams almost nightly for a week or more now. I was unclear if she was displeased by my actions or attempting to guide me.”
“I do not understand; in your dreams?” Richard shot him a hard look and Darcy stopped before the next question could leave his lips.
“After Sarah passed, I did not sleep soundly for a number of days. Once my body had reached a point of exhaustion, I fell into a deep sleep and I dreamt of her.” He looked to his cousin, eyes wide as he continued. “But it was not a normal dream. I could feel her, as though she were by my side. She spoke to me of the children and her desire that I remarry so they might not grow up without a mother’s love. I was adamant that I could not, but she told me things would change.”
Mistress Mary and the General: A Pride and Prejudice Inspired Story Page 17
