MY FIRST GRAY HAIR!
Thus, the fetal position and no chat. How on earth did I get so old? Sunday night, I was still the energetic, perky 20-something mom of three toddlers. Monday night, I have one foot in the grave with impending heart disease and look as if I frequent all-you-can-eat buffets. Not to mention the lingering odor of bodily excretions wafting throughout the house. If that doesn’t say “nursing home” to you, I don’t know what does.
Waiting glumly for my social security check,
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
cheer up
* * *
Reason #1: “A gray head is a crown of glory; it is found in the way of righteousness.” Proverbs 16:31 DON’T YOU DARE PULL THAT HAIR OUT, YOU HEAR ME? :) IT’S A BADGE OF HONOR.
Reason #2: Your pastor’s wife probably went home later and banged her head against a wall wondering how she could have said something so stupid. Come on, you know that’s what you or I would be doing. Pastor’s wife or not, she can’t be all THAT different from the rest of us.
I think you should tell the whole sahmiam group about it. For encouragement—we can read and think “Gee, what am I complaining about? Things could always be worse!” :) Just teasin’
Z
* * *
From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I Am] Zelia said I should share this with all of you…
* * *
Dear Future-shapers,
Dulcie, what a horrible day! However, I suppose if you’re going to wear jogging pants and a T-shirt to church, you might be asking for problems. I always believe in looking my best, even if I’m home all day.
Jocelyn, so sorry to hear that Tyler’s team lost. That’s too bad. But at least it’s an opportunity to build good sportsmanship. That’s something I worry about with my kids—Suzannah and Jefferson haven’t ever had to experience the pain of losing, though they are involved in piano and Bible club competitions. Of course, they are only 6 and 5, but they already have quite a collection of ribbons and awards. And Abigail’s just 3, but I anticipate she will follow in their footsteps. We’ll have to figure out how to teach them good sportsmanship some other way, I guess.
That reminds me—I am very pleased to announce that my recipe for Fresh Figs with Warm Balsamic Glaze won grand champion in the open division of our county fair. It will be headed to the state fair later this month. I’ll be glad to share the recipe with all of you. The key is to use sucanat or organic sugar—none of that refined junk. Just e-mail me if you want the recipe.
Have a fabulous SAHM day!
Rosalyn
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
ARGGGGHHHHH!!!!
* * *
I’D LIKE TO TAKE THE BREAD OF IDLENESS AND SHOVE IT DOWN HER THROAT!
Dulcie
* * *
From:
The Millards
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: ARGGGGHHHHH!!!!
* * *
Now, Dulcie, I don’t think that’s exactly what Christ had in mind when He said, “Feed my sheep.”:) Give her grace, okay? She doesn’t mean to be…well, the way she is.
Peace,
Jocelyn
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: ARGGGGHHHHH!!!!
* * *
You’re right. I’ll drizzle it with “warm balsamic glaze” first. Using refined sugar, none of that organic junk.
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Busy Week
* * *
Hi Darling,
I’ll be home around 6 this evening, and we’ll have the whole weekend together, OK? Sorry I wasn’t able to return your phone call on Monday. Sounds like it was a rough day. But by the time I got done with meetings and everything, I just went back to the hotel and crashed. This entire week has been wild. Glad it’s over.
I miss you, can’t wait to get home and see you and the girls.
All my love,
Tom
* * *
From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
[SAHM I Am] TOTW August 9: The Father’s Homecoming
* * *
Virtuous Women,
This week I thought we could discuss the highlight of our children’s day—when Daddy comes home. What little things can we do each day to make this important event special, not only for our children, but also for our dearest hardworking husbands who sacrifice so much to provide for our families?
In our home, we spend from 4 to 5 every afternoon in preparation activities. These include the following:
1) I make sure my hair is done, and I put on makeup and change into fresher clothes.
2) My children make sure their clothes are clean, their hair is neat and their rooms are sparkling.
3) We tidy up the house.
4) Dinner is always nearly ready and the table set.
Then we have various extras we throw in on a rotating basis. Sometimes, we literally “roll out the red carpet”—a carpet runner laid on the sidewalk leading up to the front door—and give him a paper crown the children colored. Other times we simply have soothing music playing in the background while we rub his feet and shoulders. But my children’s favorite (and Chad’s) is the “Daddy’s Home” song. I wrote the lyrics a few years ago, and set them to the tune of “Oklahoma!”
HERE!
He comes, my daddy’s (or hubby’s) home from working hard all day,
And with kisses sweet,
And hugs we greet
Him at the door, just so that we can say…
How much we
LOVE!
To have him home with us the end of every day,
He’s a brave, strong man,
We’ll do all we can
To show our thanks to him in every way.
(Refrain)
Oh, Daddy, we think you are grand,
Let us cheer you and give you a hand!
Why don’t you
SIT…DOWN! You’ve earned a little rest,
Oh, Daddy, dearest,
No father ever could top you,
Daddy, you are the BEST!
(Repeat refrain to last line)
Daddy, you’re the
B—E—S—T—D—A—D—D—Y, Best DAD-DY!
Hey!
Cute, huh? :) (And it’s even educational, with the spelling at the end.) Chad actually gets tears in his eyes when we sing it. It’s such a great way to bless him.
So what do you do to celebrate your husband’s homecoming?
Your faithful servant,
Rosalyn Ebberly
SAHM I AM Loop Moderator
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Brenna L.
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
&nb
sp; [SAHM I AM] Homecoming WHAT?
* * *
Okay, I’m new here, so maybe I’m missing something. Why on earth would you waste time with paper crowns and ridiculous songs when we work just as hard at home as our husbands do at their jobs? No offense, Rosalyn—you get an A for creativity. But it doesn’t make sense to me.
We live on a farm in Oklahoma with Darren’s parents. I’m the city girl, and we’ve only been married three years, so I’m still learning the ropes around here. But Darren’s mom and I drive the tractor sometimes, along with gardening, feeding chickens and taking care of the bucket calves’ bottle-feedings. That’s in addition to cleaning the house and cooking. Madeline is 7 and will be in second grade in a few weeks. She’s got a whole list of chores, too.
If we rolled out a red carpet, Darren’s boots would fill it up with mud and cow manure in no time. And when he comes in to wash up for supper, we’re all too hungry and tired to have a party about it. But Darren doesn’t mind. He knows we’re a team—we all work hard, and that means a lot more to him than theatrics every afternoon.
That’s my two cents.
Brenna Lindberg
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] Homecoming WHAT?
* * *
Would someone PLEASE give that girl a standing ovation? Do I hear an “amen”? Preach it, sister!
Z
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Please answer me!
* * *
Come on, honey, please? You won’t return my phone calls, and I think you’re deleting my messages without reading them. I told you I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the weekend. I just wanted to spend time with you. I didn’t know you already had so many plans made. You’re right—I shouldn’t have told your parents you were sick Friday. And I shouldn’t have called Marianne and Brandon to cancel the Sunday game night. When did that become a tradition, anyway? And I honestly had no idea you and Marianne spend every Saturday morning scrapbooking together. I’m not gone THAT many weekends, am I? I guess I was expecting to come home on Friday and find you and the girls waiting for me, and when it turned out you were all so busy, I lost my temper. I’m really sorry. Please forgive me?
I know my travel schedule isn’t ideal, but you have to admit it pays the bills and then some. I want you to know I really, really appreciate how supportive you are and how you hold down the fort while I’m gone. You are an awesome wife and mom. I don’t know how you do it, but I really admire you. And I’m crazy about you. I promise I’ll come home next weekend—and I’m giving you a whole week’s notice so maybe you can put me down in your PDA for at least an hour appointment. Can you fit me in?
Your very apologetic husband, who loves you with all his heart,
Tom
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] Homecoming WHAT?
* * *
I agree with Brenna. Just because DH goes off to work doesn’t mean he needs a fan club when he comes home. It’s his choice to be gone so long—so what makes him think we’re going to be sitting around pining for him all week? He comes hopping back through the door, expecting us to drop whatever we’re doing, changing all our plans, just so he can “spend time” with us. If he wants “quality time,” I say let him get a stay-at-home job and stop whining. I’m certainly not going to crown him king of MY castle when he’s only there a few hours each week. He wants to be part of the family? Then he’d better wise up and learn that our lives don’t revolve around him and his work schedule!
And that, my friends, is MY .02
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
Thomas Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Please answer me!
* * *
Tom,
Eat my PDA.
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Jordan and Becky
Subject:
Need some advice…
* * *
Hey Sis,
You know how you used to give me your opinion about my dating life? It made me mad at the time, having “little squirt” stick her nose into my personal business, but I never told you how much I ended up appreciating it. And now I need some marital advice. Don’t you dare tease me about it, either! Asking for help from my little sister is bad enough.
I’ve been on a programming gig in KC for the past five months. Nothing unusual—but instead of only 3 to 4 days at a time, I’m gone for the whole week and sometimes weekends. This client needed a system overhaul that should take about two years, and of course they want it in six months. Dulcie’s steamed—though I don’t see why. I TOLD her it was going to be a rough assignment. She should be glad it’s just KC and not New York or something.
Anyway, I screwed up this weekend. I’ll spare you the sordid details—you’ll get them in the attached e-mail. I sent it to her today as an apology, but for some reason it only made her angrier. Could you read it and tell me what on earth is so bad? I thought I groveled very nicely. And I was sincere, too. But obviously, SOMETHING about it is wrong. I was hoping you, being female and all, could show me the error of my ways—like you did when we were kids. *grin*
Thanks, Bec,
Tom
* * *
From:
Brenna L.
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] Homecoming WHAT?
* * *
Dulcie, this is SO not what I meant! And, considering I got an A in my English comp classes in college, I think my grasp of the language is good enough that what I did mean should be clear enough without me repeating it. I don’t appreciate my messages being turned into some ax to grind just because you are mad at your husband about his work habits.
Sincerely,
Brenna Lindberg
* * *
From:
Jordan and Becky
To:
Thomas Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Need some advice…
* * *
Hey Bro,
You idiot! You were doing just great until this:
THAT’S what killed you! Sarcasm. Tsk, tsk. It’ll getcha every time. Even Jordan spotted that one right off. And he’s not the most perceptive male in the world—sweet, yes, but he has very little aptitude for “girl speak.” (And he’s reading this over my shoulder and growling about it, so I may have to go and soothe his wounded feelings.) :)
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