SAHM I Am

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SAHM I Am Page 9

by Meredith Efken


  Blessings,

  Phyllis

  * * *

  From:

  Thomas Huckleberry

  To:

  Dulcie Huckleberry

  Subject:

  Re: I SENT YOU A MESSAGE TEN MINUTES AGO…

  * * *

  Dulcie,

  Don’t have time right now to get into it. I’ll be in meetings the rest of the day. Call you this evening.

  Tom

  * * *

  From:

  Brenna L.

  To:

  P. Lorimer

  Subject:

  Reading is F-U-Ndamental

  * * *

  Madeline’s teachers agree. You go, girl!

  Brenna

  * * *

  From:

  Michelle Oster

  To:

  Dulcie Huckleberry

  Subject:

  Tom

  * * *

  Dear Darcy,

  Tom is worried that you’re mad at him about the books we sent him. He’s in a meeting with my step-dad right now, the vice president of the company. I am his executive administrative assistant.

  Sorry, I tend to get sidetracked. Please don’t be mad at Tom. We all like him a lot. Well, Kelly thought he was kind of weird when he wanted to borrow her book, but then she thought it was cool that he read books like that since most guys think they’re silly.

  Justine figured any guy who reads romance novels must be not only very comfortable with his masculinity but also know a lot about women. So she found him in the cafeteria on his lunch break to ask him what to do about her boyfriend, Eric, who can’t handle commitment.

  Kelly and I thought Tom would be annoyed to be bothered by Justine. (She’s nice, but she can be a little pushy.) But he was very sweet. He told her that she should wait for a guy who loves the idea of committing to her. Because she deserves it.

  She said Eric is always talking about needing his “space” and wondered if Tom ever felt like that. Tom said that everybody needs alone time, but that he hates being away from you because he loves you and his daughters so much.

  Justine came back to her office and just cried. But it was good, because then she broke up with Eric. Kelly and I wondered if Tom could give us some advice, too. We’re planning to find him on his lunch break and see if he will talk to us. You don’t mind, do you? We never met a guy who actually could explain men to us, or who was even willing. It must be because of those romance novels. We thought sending him some more would be the least we could do to say thanks, and he said he didn’t have any more space in his hotel room for them.

  You’re really lucky, Darcy, to have a guy like Tom. If I ever find one like him, I’ll marry him, even if the idea of marriage does scare me. So that’s why I hope you aren’t mad at him. But how could you ever be mad at a man like that?

  Sincerely,

  Michelle Ostler

  * * *

  From:

  Dulcie Huckleberry

  To:

  Thomas Huckleberry

  Subject:

  Forget Everything I Said…

  * * *

  …and just remember this:

  I LOVE YOU.

  Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to put some of these books aside for you? We could read one together when you come home this weekend…*wink*

  All my love,

  Dulcie

  * * *

  From:

  Rosalyn Ebberly

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  [SAHM I Am] TOTW October 18: Decking the Halls, and the Rest of the House

  * * *

  Domestic Darlings,

  I can hardly believe it’s THAT time of year again! Time to run to the craft and discount stores in search of just the right decorations for turning our homes into Christmas wonderlands. Remember last year how we all made life-size nativity murals entirely out of organic material? The Rose Bowl parade had nothing on OUR works of art!:)

  This year, instead of a group project, I thought we could share individual ideas of how we like to decorate. I know it may seem early, but the days will fly quicker than you can imagine. I started my annual Christmas quilt this past June. I always do all the piecing and quilting by hand, and then I donate the quilt to our local homeless mission to give to a needy family.

  I have heard that Dulcie is a former interior decorator, so I’d love to hear some nuggets from her. Everyone, join in! Let’s create some Christmas cheer.

  Deferentially,

  Rosalyn Ebberly

  SAHM I Am Loop Moderator

  “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

  Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

  * * *

  From:

  Dulcie Huckleberry

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  Re: [SAHM I Am] TOTW October 18: Decking the Halls, and the Rest of the House

  * * *

  Hi all,

 

  It’s true. BC (before children) I was an interior designer. I worked for Nebraska Furniture Mart in their custom design gallery. I wanted to have my own design business, but Tom and I got married soon after I graduated with my degree. McKenzie came along a year later, and then the twins after that. So I don’t know if I have anything to offer in the line of decorating advice. I’m pretty rusty.

  And my ideas might not work for your personal tastes. We live in a 1940s Cape Cod house, so I’ve chosen a retro cottage look as my decorating style. My Christmas decorations tend to be eclectic and nostalgic—like something you might see in the movie White Christmas. Attached is a picture of my vintage Christmas ornament collection. Collecting something is the best decorating advice I have—that way your husband will always know what to get you for Christmas! :)

  Dulcie

  * * *

  From:

  Zelia Muzuwa

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  Re: [SAHM I Am] TOTW October 18: Decking the Halls, and the Rest of the House

  * * *

  Dulcie is absolutely right—go simple! And I’m speaking as an artist, even. There’s no reason to do life-size nativities or fancy projects every year unless you really enjoy it.

  Of course, I should talk—my children have wall murals painted in their bedrooms. Seamus and Griffith have van Gogh’s Starry Night on their wall, and I painted George Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte (complete with the original pointillism) in Cosette’s room.

  This year I’d like to get over to the glass blowing studio and work on mouth-blown ornaments for my family. I took a summer apprenticeship on glass blowing in college but haven’t done it since.

  However, my point is that I’m incurably fascinated by art. So I create art whenever I have the chance. Most other people aren’t going to want to do anything that complicated. Follow Dulcie’s collecting advice, or a no-fail project like spice-dough ornaments or a corkboard card holder. You’ll have the most fun if you aren’t stressing about it.

  Z

  * * *

  From:

  Brenna L.

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  [SAHM I AM] Before Children…

  * * *

  I am in awe of Dulcie and Z’s artistic talents. I have none. Zip. Zilch. I don’t even like going to MOPS because I hate doing craft projects. I’m probably the only person in the world who actually failed art in fifth grade.

  It’s interes
ting to read about what you all did before you had children. All I have is what I dreamed about doing before I had Madeline. It might sound trivial, but I always wanted to be an image consultant and personal shopping assistant in some big city like New York or someplace. Fat chance of that happening now, huh? Maybe I can squeeze it in around feeding the chickens or rounding up the cows….

  Not that I regret marrying Darren. I don’t even really regret having Madeline. Sometimes, though, I wish I’d had a chance to do some of the things I imagined myself doing. Even if it had been only for a year, like Dulcie. Or when I can make time for it, like Z.

  Brenna

  * * *

  From:

  P. Lorimer

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  Re: [SAHM I AM] Before Children…

  * * *

  Brenna,

  I never planned on being a pastor’s wife. In fact, even after I became a Christian I was very suspicious of organized religion. Jonathan is the last person I’d ever have thought I’d end up with. But when you love someone so much, dreams have a way of reorienting themselves around the life you build with that person, at least to some extent.

  However, I still have a deep desire to complete my PhD and become a university professor in English. Two children and the demands of being a pastor’s wife tend to keep that dream from becoming reality.

  For me, one of the hardest parts about being a SAHM is watching my husband pursue his goals and rearing my children to be able to chase after their dreams, while my own seem to be sitting on a dusty, forgotten shelf. Maybe I’m just selfish, but why is it that mothers are expected to wait until half their life is over before being allowed to consider the desires of their own hearts? I love my children. I love my husband. But there are days when I feel like I am living their lives instead of my own. And I have a feeling that some morning, after they’re grown or gone, I’m going to wake up and realize my life ended a long time ago, that Phyllis Lorimer died without anyone—including me—noticing.

  Phyllis

  * * *

  From:

  Dulcie Huckleberry

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  Re: [SAHM I AM] Before Children…

  * * *

  My heart goes out to Phyllis and Brenna. I know how you feel! Even yesterday, after I posted my decorating ideas to the loop, I sat around feeling a bit blue because all that interest in interior design that I usually keep bundled away came to the surface. I spent the rest of the morning on the Internet looking up interior design jobs, depressed because I couldn’t apply for any of them.

  Then Marianne called. She’s my friend from college who got a degree in home economics, just so she’d be a good wife and mom. I didn’t even let her explain why she was calling—just dumped all my moodiness all over her. And you know what she did?

  She LAUGHED! I couldn’t believe it! I poured out my heart and she thought it was funny. I started to get mad, but she said, “No, I wasn’t laughing about how you’re feeling. I’m laughing at God’s perfect timing.”

  Then she went on to explain that she was calling because she’s on the steering committee for MOPS this year, and they wanted someone to come in and do some workshops on home decorating. So of course Marianne thought of me. I’m now scheduled for three workshops, plus I can even hand out business cards to all the moms if I want to offer design services privately. I’m so excited! God is so good, and He has a great sense of humor.

  Love,

  Dulcie

  * * *

  From:

  The Millards

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  Re: [SAHM I AM] Before Children…

  * * *

  I’m just getting caught up on this week’s e-mail. Tyler is complaining of an ache in his lower spine and in his left knee and ankle. I don’t know if he pulled a muscle in his soccer game or what. Anyway, I don’t have a lot of time right now, but I wanted to encourage all you moms who have struggled with the feeling that you’re losing your sense of identity. Now that Shane and I are teaching a parenting class, I make it a point to tell both parents—no matter who is or isn’t staying at home—that they MUST take time for themselves. This season of parenting doesn’t last forever, and if we don’t continue to grow as individuals, we’ll get to the end of this phase and not know how to move to the next one.

  So, Phyllis, you may not be able to start a doctoral program at this point, but you can write, read, and research the areas you are interested in. Brenna, you could probably find correspondence courses in image consulting and start your own business in Oklahoma! Dulcie, I’ve been telling you for a while now to do interior design from your home. Why not? God gave you these talents and interests, ladies. He isn’t some big Cosmic Tease. Our husbands find a way to be both father and career-guy. There’s got to be a way for us to be good moms and also pursue our dreams.

  Okay, gotta run. Cassia has dance class tonight….

  Love,

  Jocelyn

  P.S. I don’t want to hear a SINGLE WORD from either Connie or Rosalyn. We all know how you two feel about this subject. And I say that with love.:)

  * * *

  From:

  VIM

  To:

  Rosalyn Ebberly

  Subject:

  Re: Mom and Dad

  * * *

 

  Rosalyn, I did NOT schedule Stanley’s party on purpose to conflict with Suzannah’s tea. I’m fit to be tied about it myself! But before you go pitching a hissy fit, I don’t think it’s fair to blame ME for Mama and Daddy’s choices. It’s a far enough piece from Chicago to Houston, but Hibiscus is a whole nuther thing. And you’re not the only one with grandkids now, so you can’t expect to have Mama and Daddy all the time. My kids are in much greater need of grandparents than y’all’s. Don’t Chad’s folks live in Seattle? Besides, I’m sure if you simply communicated to them how important it is for them to come to something, instead of getting all het up about it, they’d do their best to make it. I’ve learned in the business world how necessary it is to state your needs and wants clearly, without apologizing or being hesitant. I know it’s easy for you, being home all the time, to get into the habit of expecting everyone else to read your mind, but the real world just doesn’t work that way. There ya go. Just talk to them next time, okay?

  Ronnie

  * * *

  From:

  Rosalyn Ebberly

  To:

  SAHM I Am

  Subject:

  [SAHM I AM] TOTW November 15: Good Family Communication

  * * *

  Competent Conversationalists,

  This week’s topic comes from a discussion I had yesterday with my sweetheart Chad. We were discussing on the way home from church why the subject of communication skills comes up so frequently in our couples’ Sunday school class. After all the books written about communication, after all the teaching done on it, why is it still such a difficult skill for most people to master? Chad and I don’t have a problem with it, of course, but we thought maybe the rest of you could help us understand why it’s a struggle for you.

  So, please, let’s communicate about…COMMUNICATION!

  Yours in humility,

  Rosalyn Ebberl
y

  SAHM I Am Loop Moderator

  “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

  Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)

  * * *

  From:

  Dulcie Huckleberry

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