Breathe Into Me

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Breathe Into Me Page 16

by Nikki Drost


  “You’ll survive. Just don’t sleep with anymore of his woman.”

  “You know I actually regret sleeping with her.”

  Wait, I know I didn’t hear him correctly? “Did you just admit you were wrong?” Maybe I’m in a coma, or dead, and this is just some sort of twisted form of hell.

  “Fuck no I wasn’t saying that I was wrong for doing it, I just wish that I hadn’t. The sex was fucking awful. That female had no imagination what so ever.”

  “Damn and here I was thinking you had grown a conscience.” I sigh and shake my head in mock disappointment.

  “If anything, I should tell Dallas the truth and demand that he apologize to me for saving him from having to go through that.”

  I can’t contain my laughter. “Only you would have the balls to do something like that.” God I’d love to see the look on the Texan’s face when Jamie demanded he apologize.

  “If you stay I’ll totally do it.”

  I knew that was coming. “Nice try, brother.” I’ll give it to him I’m tempted to stay just to see if he’d actually do it.

  “I had to try. On the upside Hannah will be here and that she wolf is hot.”

  I roll my eyes at him.

  “What is it with you and blondes anyway?” I swear, if there is a blonde in a fifty-mile radius Jamie will find her and bed her.

  “What can I say, they’re more fun.”

  An image of Kelsey pops into my head. “Speaking of blondes, I know one who wants your ass bad.” Now that woman would give him a run for his money.

  “You’re talking about the princess, right? She’s cute, but I’m not interested.”

  Sweet Jesus, maybe I am dead.

  “I’m sorry my hearing must have been messed up when the Omegas were using my head for a piñata. You’re not interested in her?”

  “Just drop it, okay? Now tell me why you’re leaving.” He lights a smoke and exhales loudly.

  “I thought I could stay away from Andy, but I can’t be near her and not be with her.” Even tonight, when I was yelling at her I had wanted to hold her, breath in her scent, god just tell her that I miss her.

  “I’d like to say I understand, but the only people I’ve ever gave two shits about live under this roof and none of you bastards are my type.”

  Shit, sometimes I forget about Jamie’s past. Caring about people doesn’t come easily to him. Too many people have let him down.

  “I’m sorry Jamie, I’d stay if I could, but it hurts too much to see her. We’ll always be brothers and I’ll just be a phone call away.” It kills me to think of not seeing these males every day. We’ve been through so much together.

  “I know it’s just going to blow without you around.” He sighs as he turns to face me. “Tu sei il mio partner nel crimine, sarete sempre con me mai dove vado. Siamo fratelli per la vita" You are my partner in crime. You will always be with me where ever I go. We are brothers for life. His touching words in Italian shock me to my core.

  “Sei sempre stato IL mio migliore amico, mio fratello, mi mancherai ogni giorno che sono andata, ti amo, James” You have always been my best friend, my brother. I will miss you every day that I am gone, I love you, James.

  Jamie scans my face for several minutes before answering me. “I love you too, little brother.”

  We lay in the darkness together for hours. Tonight had been the first time that I’d heard Jamie say those words. I’m not even sure he’s ever said them to his real brother.

  “What does it feel like to be in love?” His question takes me by surprise. I sigh and try to think of a way to explain it.

  “Her scent calms me and takes away my anxiety. When she looks at me, I feel as if I could take on the entire world and win. I crave her touch, just the simple gesture of her holding my hand is enough. Andy made me want it all, a wife, and kids. She made me believe that I deserved to have a family. Andy gave my life purpose, I was more than just an Enforcer I was a male of worth. I wanted nothing more than to spend my life making her happy. Just seeing her beautiful smile and knowing that I did or said something to cause it filled me with pride. Now I feel like I can’t breathe, my heart literally aches when I think about spending an eternity without her. I feel like I’m drowning and no matter how hard I fight, I just continue to sink. Every song I hear reminds me of her. Every time the wind blows and I catch the scent of wildflowers I have to fight back tears. When I saw her tonight, the first thing I wanted to do was beg her to take me back. I’ve never begged for anything in my life. I’m so messed in the head I almost got Cass killed. Andy’s all I think about, dream about. I feel like part of me is missing.”

  “God save me from love. I don’t ever want to go through that.”

  I wouldn’t wish this pain on him either.

  “The humans say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all. I can’t say I agree with them at the moment.”

  “Of course, they say stupid shit like that. They have no idea what it means to spend an eternity with someone.”

  He has a point, humans seem to rush into marriage and rush right back out at the first bump in the road. We mate for life and the only way out is death, shifters don’t believe in divorce. If you’re unhappy, you can go off and live your life, but there is no remarriage until the other is dead and gone.

  “Micah called me a coward, do you agree with him?”

  “I respect my brother, but he can be a major dick sometimes. You had the courage to try and make it work with her. It couldn’t have been easy to hide what you are. You stood up to me when I told you that this whole thing was crazy. Even when I thought that you’d be distracted, you proved me wrong. If anything, you showed us that Enforcers could have families if they wanted to. No, I don’t think that you’re a coward because you want to leave. I do however think you need to find your missing balls and fight for your female.”

  I can always count on Jamie to be honest.

  “If I was you and thank fuck I’m not, but if I were, I wouldn’t give my female any other option, but to be with me. I’d wear her down until she either married me or killed me.”

  I pity the female who ends up with him. She’s going to have to be one hell of a woman to put up with his shit.

  “You would really put the female you love in harm’s way, rather than letting her be happy and safe with someone else?” And I thought I was a selfish bastard.

  “Let me guess, you think Andy should marry a human, have tons of his babies and live happily ever after for her very short life, right? Well guess what she could end up with a man who beats her and their kids, or he could cheat on her and leave her alone to raise their kids on her own. At least with you she would be cherished. The only way that you’d leave her is if you were killed. You would never raise a hand to her or your kids. She would know what unconditional love really is. Despite the danger of our world, Andy would be better off with you.”

  I had never thought about it that way, I was so concerned with the dangers of my world that I never considered the dangers in hers. I could be condemning her to a life of misery and pain. “You’re a fucking genius, I could kiss you!” He’s right he’s so fucking right. I can’t give up I need to get my female back.

  “This is news to you? And if you’re going to kiss me, you better buy me fucking dinner first asshole.”

  Our laughter echo’s off my bedroom walls.

  “So did I change your mind? Are you staying?”

  That sly fucker, he planned this whole thing.

  “Yeah you’re stuck with me I’m not going anywhere.” First thing tomorrow, I’m going to do whatever I can to win Andy back.

  “Thank fuck, now can we stop listening to this crybaby music?”

  ***

  “Morning,” I say as I make my way to the coffee pot.

  “Adam Benjamin Stone what are you doing out of bed?”

  I roll my eyes and instantly regret the movement. “I’m fine, Grace.” My stab wound has closed and will be noth
ing, but a faded scar by tomorrow morning. My face on the other hand, looks like I went twelve rounds with Mike Tyson, and lost.

  “You don’t look fine, you look beat to hell and hung over. How are you going to win Andy back with your face looking like that?”

  The woman has a point.

  “Perhaps she’ll take one look at my sorry state and feel that I’ve been through enough.” I’m not counting on it, but at this point, I’ll use anything to my advantage. I’m going to need to pull out all the stops to win her back. The first thing that I’m going to do is apologize for yelling at her.

  “Morning,” Lincoln mumbles as he enters the kitchen and sits at the island.

  “What’s wrong?” I’ve never seen him so down before.

  “I can’t get ahold of Vanessa, she blew me off last night, and now she’s not answering her phone.”

  I feel like such an ass, I’ve been so wrapped up in my own love life I forgot Linc was dating Andy’s coworker. “Did something happen between the two of you?”

  He shrugs his massive shoulders. “The sex was great, and we seemed to have fun together. If I did something wrong, I wish that she’d just tell me.” He sighs.

  “I don’t know how any woman could reject you. You are perfect Lincoln Scott and if that girl can’t see it, well there are plenty of others in this world who will.”

  Linc tries to hide his embarrassment. “Thanks, Grace.”

  I pat him on his shoulder. “Andy’s probably working tonight why don’t we go to the hospital and find out what’s going on?” That way we can both get our females back.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter 13

  “Ugh, who the hell turned the sun on full blast?” I moan loudly. I throw my arm over my eyes to block the bright rays that are aimed at my head. It’s too early for this. I should have closed the blinds last night. I check the time. Crap, I’ve slept most of the morning away. I also think I have a hangover, my head is pounding, and I have the worst case of cottonmouth. I never should have had so much to drink last night. After we left the bar, Kelsey and I came home and continued the fun. I’m surprised we didn’t get alcohol poisoning. I force myself out of bed and head for my bathroom. Twenty minutes later, I’m in dire need of caffeine.

  “Morning, Henry.” I head straight for the coffee pot and pour myself a huge cup of java.

  “Good morning, sunshine. How much did you two drink last night?”

  “Enough to forget my own name.” I was trying to forget all of the things that had happened last night. Apparently, I didn’t drink enough.

  “Still getting over the breakup?”

  I can understand why he’d think that. Henry hadn’t been surprised when I had told him that Adam and I had ended our relationship. “Actually I think I’m going to take Finn’s advice and talk to Adam. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to work it out.” That is if he’ll take me back, he was really pissed last night.

  “Maybe you should take some time and think about this, Andy. I mean you met the man in a biker bar. I’m not saying that he’s a bad guy or anything, but he’s not exactly the type you usually date.”

  Henry does have a point, in the past I have dated men who were considered “safe” or “stable”. Translation, boooring. I had only dated one other man who could be considered an alpha male. My ex has turned arrogance into an art form.

  “I love him, Henry. Despite whatever faults you believe him to have. He’s a good man with a good heart. We are meant to be together.” I just hope Adam still believes it too.

  “You’re in love with him? When the hell did this happen?”

  I narrow my eyes at my roommate. “Maybe if you were sleeping here you’d know more about what’s going on. Speaking of which, where have you been?” I haven’t seen Henry in days.

  “I took Kelsey’s advice, I’m no longer single.”

  I wasn’t expecting that response.

  “Good for you, Henry, do I know her?”

  I’m glad Henry’s found someone he deserves to be happy.

  “No it’s no one that you know, I met her in college. Her name’s Chloe Donovan. She lives in Amherst and she’s a special needs teacher.”

  Wow, that’s impressive and noble. “She sounds like a wonderful girl. I can’t wait to meet her.”

  He nods his head and starts to leave for his daily run. “I’m sorry for giving you crap about, Adam. I should be more supportive, if he makes you happy then I’m happy.” He holds his arms open and I step into his embrace.

  “Thanks, Henry.” I’m glad I have my friend back, our relationship had been strained for weeks, and I missed him. Henry leaves for his run and I get started on making breakfast.

  “Hey, pumpkin.”

  Startled I spin around sending my untoasted bread to the floor. “Damn, Uncle Gary, you scared the crap out of me.” I pick up my mess and try to settle my erratic heartbeat.

  “Sorry, kiddo, are you alright you seem jumpy.”

  I can’t imagine why. “I’m fine just hung over.” I go about fixing more toast and join my uncle at the island.

  “We need to talk, Andy.”

  Oh, boy what did I do now?

  “Can I get you anything before the lecture begins?” I try to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but I’m in no mood to be yelled at right now.

  “Nope just sit.”

  I take my seat and wait.

  “You know I don’t like to get involved with your personal life right.”

  I nod and hope to god that this isn’t going to be a sex talk.

  “Well this time is different. I take it from your hang over that Adam has told you his secret.”

  I open my mouth to speak, but words fail me. It takes me two tries, but I finally find my voice. “You know!” I yell. I can’t believe this. Gary never even mentioned that he knew, Adam.

  “Settle down, yes I’ve known what he is for years.”

  I take several deep breaths to calm myself down. I don’t want to say something to him that I’ll regret. “Why didn’t you tell me?” This is unbelievable.

  “It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

  I feel like I’m in an old episode of the Twilight Zone, everything is upside down, inside out, and backwards.

  “How do you even know him? Does Olivia know?” Liv is my uncle’s younger girlfriend. He’s only been dating her for a few months, but I’m hoping that she’s the one.

  “No she doesn’t know and remember when I had my hunting accident a few years back?”

  I nod.

  “They’re the ones who saved me. You can’t imagine how freaked out I was when four wolves and a massive grizzly bear approached me and then changed into humans.” I actually can, especially after last night.

  “Did Adam ask you to talk to me?” I wonder if Gary knows anything about shifter rules or their laws.

  “No, I talked to him right after the two of you met. We had a good chat and I also told him about your parents, and before you get mad at me, I thought it might help him understand you better. Anyways I promised I’d help smooth things over when you took it badly. Now what’s the problem, kiddo?”

  I completely ignore the fact that Adam has known about my parent’s murders this whole time, I’ll deal with that knowledge later. And what did Gary mean by, “When” I took it badly, doesn’t he mean “If”? How did he know I’d freak out?

  “I admit that I may have handled the situation poorly, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I love him Uncle Gary, but it’s still a little unsettling.”

  “Look, Andy, I’m not going to pretend to understand everything about Adam and his friends. What I do know is they are good men. I’ve spent enough time with them to know at least that, and so what if Adam can change into a wolf or summon tornados, he has a good heart. I couldn’t ask for a better man for you.”

  I stare at the man who raised me. I know that he would never do anything to hurt me. “Thanks, I love you, Gary.” I fall into my uncle’s embrace a
nd hold on tight.

  “I love you too, pumpkin.”

  ***

  I take one last look at my reflection before heading to work. I had just sent Adam a text message asking him if it would be okay if I stopped by his house after work tonight. We need to talk and it can’t wait any longer. I need to know if he still wants to be with me. As I approach my jeep, I notice something in the bushes several yards away.

  “What the hell is that?” I drop my purse on the hood and decide to cross our front lawn and check it out. Once I’m a few feet away, I know exactly what it is.

  “Oh my god!” It’s a hand. I rush forward and move the branches out of the way. The second I realize what I’m looking at I let out an ear-piercing scream.

  “Andy?” Henry rushes over to me and pulls me into his arms. “Kelsey, call my dad, now!” He starts to pull me toward the house, but my feet refuse to move. Henry promptly picks me up off the ground. “Hush, Andy it’s going to be alright.”

  I shake my head because I don’t dare open my mouth. It’s not even close to being all right. I’ve seen dead bodies before, but not like this and not one that used to be my friend. It doesn’t take long for the cops to show. Henry’s dad rushes toward us and pulls us all in for hugs.

  “Are you kids okay?”

  We assure him we’re fine and he leaves us to examine the body.

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” Henry says from beside me. He has Kelsey and I tucked safely in his arms. I can’t believe this either. Within minutes, my uncle and Liv show up, Kelsey must have called them after she called the sheriff.

  “Come here, pumpkin.”

  Henry releases me from his embrace and the second Gary’s arms are around me my body begins to shake and the tears that I’ve been holding in let loose.

  “It’s alright, kiddo, it’s going to be okay.”

  I feel panic set in as memories of my parent’s murders flood my mind. The sight of the crime scene tape and the numerous police officers make me feel like I’m that same scared little girl that couldn’t speak, I didn’t understand what was going on all I wanted was my parents. Gary had said the same words to me that day when he carried me out of my closet. I hadn’t thought about that for years. I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. I can contemplate all of this later.

 

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