Table of Contents
Not Enough
NE Title Page
NE Copyright 2013
NE Dedication
NE Prologue
NE Chapter 1
NE Chapter 2
NE Chapter 3
NE Chapter 4
NE Chapter 5
NE Chapter 6
NE Chapter 7
NE Chapter 8
NE Chapter 9
NE Chapter 10
NE Chapter 11
NE Chapter 12
NE Chapter 13
NE Chapter 14
NE Chapter 15
NE Chapter 16
NE Chapter 17
NE Chapter 18
NE Chapter 19
NE Chapter 20
NE Chapter 21
NE Chapter 22
NE Chapter 23
NE Chapter 24
NE Chapter 25
NE Chapter 26
NE Chapter 27
NE Chapter 28
NE Chapter 29
NE Chapter 30
NE Chapter 31
NE Chapter 32
NE Chapter 33
NE Chapter 34
NE Chapter 35
NE Chapter 36
NE Chapter 37
NE Chapter 38
NE Chapter 39
NE Chapter 40
NE Chapter 41
NE Chapter 42
NE Chapter 43
NE Epilogue
NE Playlist
NE Acknowledgements
Not Leaving
Title Page- NL
Copyright 2014-NL
Dedication-NL
Prologue-NL
Chapter 1-NL
Chapter 2-NL
Chapter 3-NL
Chapter 4-NL
Chapter 5-NL
Chapter 6-NL
Chapter 7-NL
Chapter 8-NL
Chapter 9-NL
Chapter 10-NL
Chapter 11-NL
Chapter 12-NL
Chapter 13-NL
Chapter 14-NL
Chapter 15-NL
Chapter 16-NL
Chapter 17-NL
Chapter 18-NL
Chapter 19-NL
Chapter 20-NL
Chapter21-NL
Chapter 22-NL
Chapter 23-NL
Chapter 24-NL
Chapter 25-NL
Chapter 26-NL
Chapter 27-NL
Chapter 28-NL
Chapter 29-NL
Chapter 30-NL
Chapter 31-NL
Chapter 32-NL
Chapter 33-NL
Chapter 34-NL
Chapter 35-NL
Chapter 36-NL
Chapter 37-NL
Chapter 38-NL
Chapter 39-NL
Chapter 40-NL
Chapter 41-NL
Playlist-NL
Acknowledgements-NL
Not Hiding
NH Title Page
NH Copyright 2014
NH Dedication
NH Prologue
NH Chapter 1
NH Chapter 2
NH Chapter 3
NH Chapter 4
NH Chapter 5
NH Chapter 6
NH Chapter 7
NH Chapter 8
NH Chapter 9
NH Chapter 10
NH Chapter 11
NH Chapter 12
NH Chapter 13
NH Chapter 14
NH Chapter 15
NH Chapter 16
NH Chapter 17
NH Chapter 18
NH Chapter 19
NH Chapter 20
NH Chapter 21
NH Chapter 22
NH Chapter 23
NH Chapter 24
NH Chapter 25
NH Chapter 26
NH Chapter 27
NH Chapter 28
NH Chapter 29
NH Chapter 30
NH Chapter 31
NH Chapter 32
NH Chapter 33
NH Chapter 34
NH Chapter 35
NH Chapter 36
NH Epilogue
NH Playlist
NH Acknowledgements
Not Over
NO Title Page
NO Copyright 2014
NO Dedication-2014
NO Prologue
NO Chapter 1
NO Chapter 2
NO Chapter 3
NO Chapter 4
NO Chapter 5
NO Chapter 6
NO Chapter 7
NO Chapter 8
NO Chapter 9
NO Chapter 10
NO Chapter 11
NO Chapter 12
NO Chapter 13
NO Chapter 14
NO Chapter 15
NO Chapter 16
NO Chapter 17
NO Chapter 18
NO Chapter 19
NO Chapter 20
NO Chapter 21
NO Chapter 22
NO Chapter 23
NO Chapter 24
NO Chapter 25
NO Chapter 26
NO Chapter 27
NO Chapter 28
NO Chapter 29
NO Chapter 30
NO Chapter 31
NO Chapter 32
NO Chapter 33
NO Chapter 34
NO Chapter 35
NO Chapter 36
NO Chapter 37
NO Chapter 38
NO Chapter 39
NO Epilogue
NO Playlist
NO Acknowledgements
About the Author
NOT ENOUGH
By Leigh Ann Lunsford
Copyright © 2013 by Leigh Ann Lunsford
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The author acknowledges trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication and or use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Cover Design by Angie Fields, i love it design studio
Image from Shutterstock
Edited by Chelsea Kuhel (www.madisonseidler.com)
I would like to dedicate this book to the most important person to me, my son, Evan. Without our trips, this story would never have come to life. Also, to my amazing husband who just puts up with whatever I dish out-- he gives back, too. XOXOXO
Prologue
June 3rd, 2013
Brielle
I. Am. Not. Scared. Why did Addison have to say that, “She understands if I am scared?” When am I ever scared? Truth is, this dream was not it for me anymore. Ever since I could remember, I wanted to be a cheerleader at the University of Tennessee … and I made it. That was before; it was before my sister Addison and I took over care of our siblings, Cambree and Dustin. My grandparents raised us because our cray-cray parents care more about appearances and climbing the social ladder. They took us in to raise us because of the “incident” when I was twelve, which was almost eight years ago.
I continue throwing my clothes in my suitcase, because whether Addison likes it or not I am heading home. I may have stretched the truth a bit when I told Addison my ankle was still giving me problems, because it wa
sn’t at all. I love cheering, and I will continue at the gym we co-own at home in Crossville, TN. She thinks I am scared of cheering since the fall that broke my ankle, but what I am afraid of is missing out on my sibling’s lives. Screw her.
The shit fit she threw when she found out that I actually graduated last night without telling the family … oh, my gosh! Had I told her, she would have lectured, tried a guilt trip, or whatever she could do to tell me I should defer graduation for another year and do my two years I promised her at UT. I feel guilty I took that away from her, but we are different, yet the same. There are three and a half years between us, but we are best friends. I will be twenty in four months, and she just turned twenty-three. Her dream was to go to the University of Florida (who am I to judge), and she did, and graduated with honors in Business Management and Marketing. She rocks it, too. She finished up the summer before last, and then made me promise that I would complete at least two years at Tennessee. I already had enough credits to transfer in as junior, but I took extra classes over the summer and this last year to be able to graduate early. Again, screw her.
I am going home, and she can’t stop me. She is not my mother (thank God), and the only parents we had died two years ago.
I throw the last of my luggage in my car, make sure I have my iPod on the playlist I want, and head home to the farm. Well, it is not a farm anymore, but still it is home.
Chapter 1
Brielle
I pull in the driveway with my music blaring. It happens to be on Blake Shelton at the moment. I cannot wait to see my sisters and brother and to switch this damn BMW out for my Tahoe. Addy insisted I bring the BMW to school because it is only a two-seater and, therefore, not everyone could grab a ride with me. She thinks I am easily distracted when I drive. There were a few fender benders, but she doesn’t actually realize I was playing bumper cars because people just piss me off when I drive. The loud throttle of the quads going around the property draws my attention. Some idiot is out there with my brother; I can tell it is one of Tyler’s (Addison’s boyfriend) friends because he is way too old to be one of Dustin’s friends.
I grab my suitcases and head inside, and I feel like I can breathe again. I have missed this. Cambree, who is thirteen, is lying on the couch on Facebook … what else would she be doing? All three of us girls are media site whores … can’t help it; there is some funny shit on Facebook. She looks surprised to see me, so I am guessing Addison didn’t tell her I AM HOME! She launches herself in my arms. I am so happy to see her. Only six years separate us, but she is Addison and my sister, no doubt. She is the perfect mix of both of us; she has Addison’s heart and my attitude. And, damn, she is fiercely loyal to our brother, Dustin. You do not mess with our brother, Trust me, Hell has no fury like the Parker sisters scorned.
Cambree yells (her normal volume), “OMG, Brielle, what are you doing home?”
I explain as best as I can, “I finished credits early and graduated last night and was ready to come home.”
She gives me her beautiful smile (complete with blue rubber bands on her braces), and says, “Hell to the yeah. You can help at the gym this summer because the coach Addison hired SUCKS BALLS …” I am about to reprimand her for language, but Addison screams down the stairs about it before I can. “Holy Hell Cambree, stop with the mouth, you are thirteen years old!” I just wink at her.
Addison and Cambree are so close, whereas I am closer with Dustin. Don’t get me wrong, we are all thick as thieves and would do anything to protect each other, but when Cambree was born, Addison was almost eleven, and I was about to turn seven. We still lived with our parents at the time but were raised by our nanny and housekeeper, Amelia. So Addison became the mom Cambree didn’t have, and then when Dustin was born the next year, and Addison was busy; he became mine.
“I am going to go unpack and freshen up. Get your heathen brother in here, and tell him to get ready for his appointment; we are leaving in an hour,” I tell Cambree. My response is an eye roll, of course.
As I head up the stairs, I am starting to dread this confrontation with Addison. We don’t really fight; I mean we use foul language at each other (usually me) and argue, but within five minutes we are over it. I know she wants the best for me and wants me to follow my dreams. What she doesn’t understand is that almost eight years ago my dreams changed, or rather, were shattered, and the reason she doesn’t know this is that I have never told her. I told one person, my best friend, Cooper Reed, after I told my parents. They ignored it or didn’t believe it. It would have interfered with their plans for their future. Cooper then told my grandfather, and the rest is history. We all came and lived with them in Tennessee under the pretense that my parents traveled too much. The truth is that they are dirt bags, but I will not be the one to ruin my siblings’ relationships with them. That is the one argument Addison and I have over and over. She doesn’t understand why I hate them, and I can’t tell her. Might as well go ahead and get this welcome home chat over with.
“Hey, Addison,” I say as I walk into her room.
“Hey, Brielle,” she says as she turns away from me.
“Addy, I don’t want to fight, this is what I want, I graduated, I cheered at my dream college, and now I am home, please understand this is what I need”
Need is not an exaggeration. I am safe here on my grandparent’s land with their old farmhouse right out my window. I can see the old barn my grandfather transformed into a dance studio for Addison and a gymnastics studio for Cambree and me. I don’t have nightmares here as much, and I can breathe. I have to make her understand this. We moved from the farmhouse last year because we just couldn’t stand being in that house every day without them. It seemed all of us were waiting for them to come around the corner. Amelia still lives there, but Addison built her dream house on her acreage, and we all live here for now. Since there are over two hundred acres, Addy and I decided we would all have our own ten acres to build on whenever we wanted. But right now, she is stuck with all of us, although she doesn’t seem to mind.
“Brielle, I know something has been wrong for the last year, maybe I was wrong to push you, but I want you to follow your dreams and your heart. I love you.”
“I know Addy, I know,” I sigh. Maybe, just maybe she will let this be for now. “I have to get ready to take Dustin to his appointment,” I tell her as I turn to leave. She smiles and hugs me “I love you, Brielle, and no matter what I am here.”
I return her smile and tell her, “Ditto.” I haven’t said “I love you” since my grandparents passed away within three days of each other. It isn’t that I don’t love them with all that I am, but saying it will make it hurt much worse when they realize I am not enough. I never am.
Chapter 2
Brielle
Dustin comes barreling into my room and grabs me in a bear hug, the kind of hug that I have missed.
“Hey D, I missed you so much,” I tell him as tears clog my eyes. He got so big in the last year. It isn’t like I didn’t come home monthly, but with classes and cheering it was hard. I made it to his medical appointments, though. This journey we started almost two years ago is coming to the end. He was diagnosed at four years old with a severe peanut allergy and asthma. It was the year we moved in with my grandparents. To some, an allergy is no big deal, but when my brother was in the hospital hooked up to life support at age four from one bite of a peanut butter sandwich, you better believe it was a big deal. Dustin’s allergy was so severe he would have contact reactions, meaning if somebody had come in contact with peanuts, and touched him, or had eaten it and kissed him, or transferred it on to something at the store; he would react. Not knowing when a fatal reaction would happen made me live in fear for almost six years. I researched and researched and finally found a therapy called Oral Immunotherapy or OIT, which has around an 85% success rate. It consists of giving the patient the allergen in small increments at each visit, then after two years, he will do a “peanut challenge,” which will consist of him
eating twenty-four peanuts. If he has no reaction, then he will be “cured,” for lack of a better term. He will have to eat peanuts daily to keep his tolerance up, but this shit is serious. We have almost lost him twice, and I am like a psycho lion protecting her cub. While Cambree is following in both Addison and my footsteps by cheering and dancing, Dustin plays soccer. He dominates that field at age twelve.
Dustin questions me, “Cambree says you are home for good B, is it true?” “It sure is super star,” I laugh. His grin tells me all I need to know; that this was the right choice, just not for me, but for all of us.
I look down at him and lose my breath for a minute. He is turning into a young man before my eyes. His dirty blond hair and aquamarine eyes with his tanned skin are going to make him a heart-breaker in the next few years. What the hell has Addison been feeding him? He is filling out. All of us siblings are similar, yet so different. We all have the high cheekbones of our mother (I think I just puked in my mouth a bit), whereas Addison and Dustin have olive complexions which give them a gorgeous tan color year round. Addison has dark chestnut hair that is straight as a board, thick, and hangs down to her shoulders. That hair, paired with her gray smoky eyes; she is a knockout. She is so tiny at 5’2” and about 90 pounds soaking wet, but with curves in all the right places. Dustin has dirty blond hair with aquamarine eyes, and he is on the tall side for his age. He used to be scrawny, but that is changing, and I am taken aback by that. Cambree is beautiful with brown hair, not light or dark, with natural red highlights in it. She is all legs making her very tall for her age, but her piercing green eyes with her features make boys fall in love, and me buy extra ammunition for our guns. She knows she is beautiful, but isn’t a bitch about it. I, on the other hand, have light blond hair. It is naturally curly, thick and hangs down past my middle back with crystal blue eyes. My complexion tans, not like Addy or D, but at least I am not pale. I am 5’7”, what I consider just average. Not fat, or too skinny, but I am lean from years of cheering. I don’t stand out like my siblings, which is one thing I am thankful for. The less attention I get the better.
Dustin and I head out to his appointment. I can’t wait to get in my Tahoe and blare my music with him just like we used to do all the time. Our taste in music is different, but he knows I win, just because I always do.
I grab my keys and baseball cap on the way out, throw my hair under it, and we hop out to the truck. Dustin asks if we can go by the sports store on the way home and I don’t know why he even bothers to ask; it is a tradition that kid has more soccer balls than I have sense.
Parker Sibling Series Box Set Page 1
