“Right, now then, I need my nephew’s address list.”
“How many guests were you thinking of inviting, Lady Ariadne?” Jane said in a bid to appear interested.
“I thought perhaps twenty? Seven married couples and six either single or accompanied. No children, I think.” Ariadne nodded slowly. “Whilst they do break the ice and liven things up, they also have a tendency to stare openly and I am not entirely sure that Nathaniel is quite ready for that. After all, I do not want to put an end to my interfering before I have even begun and I daresay a staring child would put paid to my efforts once and for all.”
“Very sensible, Lady Ariadne,” Jane said and was pleased to see her mistress beaming with pride.
“Now be a dear, would you, and track Nathaniel down,” Lady Ariadne said breezily as if she had no idea how difficult it would be for Jane to approach the Earl of Sotheby alone. “He knows that I am looking for his address list, so it will not be news to him. He will be in his study, my dear. It is only a few doors away from the library, but if you get stuck, you will undoubtedly see a maid scampering about who will direct you.”
“Very well, My Lady,” Jane said with forced brightness as she made her way out of the room.
She already felt queasy and wished for all the world that she could continue to avoid Nathaniel Alexander for the remainder of their stay. But it would be a long six weeks for her to feign headaches and lay on her bed and she knew that it was time to have it over and done with.
Jane knew exactly where the study was and realized that her footsteps had slowed considerably on the final approach. She felt as if that door would open onto the steps of the gallows and she wished herself a hundred miles away.
When she was finally in front of the door, Jane took a deep breath and gently knocked.
“Come in.” Came a voice which was undeniably the Earl’s.
Jane opened the door slowly and almost tiptoed into the room. She stood not far from the door and did not close it fully behind her as she peered ruefully at the Earl.
“What can I do for you, Miss Briars?” he asked, looking up from a pile of papers on his desk.
The room was small and would have been dark had it not been for an extraordinarily large window. The walls were paneled in deep oak, much of the paneling shelved and containing books. There was no lightness to the room, except the pure white ceiling, and only the fortunate orientation and large window saved it from the gloom.
“Lord Sotheby, Lady Ariadne has sent me to collect your address list,” Jane said in such a tiny voice that it was obvious even to her that she sounded scared.
“Yes, quite,” he said and leaned back in his chair so that he might pull one of the desk drawers open towards him.
As he peered into the drawer, Jane felt drawn to study him again. She realized then that if she squinted her eyes rather than having them fully focused, she had a very good idea of what the man would have looked like in the years before his dreadful injury. The skin still looked purplish, but she could not see the ridges as she squinted.
He really had been a very handsome man and she suddenly felt the tragedy of it all. She had been looking at him as a man of thirty, little remembering that he had only been just twenty-two when his face had been disfigured forever. That was so young, only two years older than she was now. Suddenly, she felt like crying and when the Earl looked up, he caught her unawares.
“Is everything all right, Miss Briars?” he asked, looking suddenly concerned.
“I wanted to apologize, Lord Sotheby.”
“For what?” he said and squinted at her.
She wondered, for a moment, if she looked different to him through narrowed eyes and a softer focus.
“You must think me an eavesdropper, My Lord. I had discovered that Lady Ariadne was in the library, but I had not realized that she was not alone. As I approached the door and heard voices, I realized my mistake.”
“Very well,” he said but did not look entirely convinced.
“At which point I should have turned on my heel and walked away, Lord Sotheby. But I did not, I lingered where I should not have done. And it is that for which I am now apologizing.”
“I suppose there is an eavesdropper in all of us if we are honest, Miss Briars.”
“Perhaps, but I can only apologize for myself and hope that you will forgive me. I realize that I am not an entirely welcome guest, Sir, and I do not blame you for that.”
“Then I am sorry that you heard what you heard,” he said, and now it was the Earl’s turn to look a little chagrined.
“I had already realized it, Lord Sotheby, and I already understood it. From the moment I perceived that you had not been aware of my attendance here at Sotheby Hall, I understood.”
“My aunt is rather a headstrong lady,” he smiled suddenly, a look of fondness and amusement on his face. “But I fear it is all too late to change her now.”
“I like her very much indeed the way she is, and I am very grateful for the position I have with her.”
“And how did you come to be my aunt’s companion, if I may ask?” He set the sheets of paper he had retrieved from his desk drawer on top of all the other papers in front of him. “Please, do take a seat,” he said and indicated the chair on the opposite side of the desk from him.
“Thank you,” Jane said and settled herself down on the chair.
She knew it was time for her to answer a personal question or two and, given that she had just admitted to eavesdropping, she knew she was hardly in a position to be coy about it.
“I did come from a good home, Lord Sotheby,” she began, sounding almost as if she were justifying her existence on the earth.
“That is very clear, Miss Briars,” he said and sounded interested.
His voice was different somehow, more relaxed as if questioning her went some way to making him feel less awkward about himself.
“My father was Lord Briars, a baron. But his estate was failing before he even inherited it and he spent his entire life trying to return it to a former glory that he did not even remember himself.” The facts spoken so simply had more of an effect on her than she would have imagined, and she found herself feeling suddenly sad for all her father’s wasted efforts. “But it was not to be, I am afraid. By the time he died, his heart failing from years of worry and effort, the estate was barely worth the debt he owed.”
“And you had no family to go to?”
“I have a cousin, My Lord, one who was to have inherited my father’s estate. My cousin is a good man, but not a wealthy one; I knew that taking over my responsibility would be too much for him and so I did not even ask. I immediately sought work at an employment registry, thinking to be a governess.”
“Then I am glad you did not find work as a governess, Miss Briars, for it is a curious position to inhabit in society. Much better to be a companion, even to a forceful busybody like Lady Ariadne Milford.” He smiled at her and Jane realized that, for those few minutes, she had not even contemplated his scars.
She felt suddenly at her ease, reconciled in a way as she looked at him not as a scarred man, but as a whole one. This was how he looked; this was his appearance. No amount of flinching or staring was going to change it and she realized there was a certain amount of clarity in her acceptance of him.
“I am getting to know your aunt little by little, Sir, and I find I do like her very much. She has a confidence that I aspire to.”
“Just do not aspire to it too much, otherwise you will find yourself thirty years from now bullying a harried nephew into social engagements he has no interest in.” His smile, even broader now, gave Jane the idea that he had relaxed somewhat also.
Was it possible that her attitude had silently changed his attitude?
“It is probably best I say nothing at this point.” Jane shook her head and laughed.
“Well, I suppose you had better take this list back to Ariadne before she comes looking for you,” he said and scooped up the papers bef
ore handing them to her.
“Thank you, Lord Sotheby,” Jane said and took them, rising to her feet and bobbing the very slightest of curtsies before leaving the room.
As she walked away along the corridor, she could hardly believe how terrified she had been just minutes before on her way there. It seemed a thing of wonder to her that just a few minutes in a person’s company was enough to dissolve the fears and judgments, enough to see beneath the surface and have the merest peek at the man who lay beneath.
Perhaps her six weeks at Sotheby Hall would not seem so very long after all.
7
On the morning of the afternoon buffet, Jane had found herself feeling curiously nervous. It was no longer the presence of the Earl, however, which was making her nervous. She had seen him at every mealtime and afternoon tea and had found herself more and more at ease in his company.
And she had noticed again that the more at ease she was, the more at ease the Earl was. Lady Ariadne, for her part, seemed very pleased with herself every time the three of them were alone and conversing quite naturally.
Now that some of the Earl’s gruff edges seemed to have been ground down just a little, Jane wondered just what effect inviting so many people into the smaller of his dining rooms would have on him. She found herself quietly praying that nobody would stare and that nobody would flinch. This was the true source of her current nervousness.
But surely, if these were people who saw him rarely, some of them not for many years, it would be unreasonable to expect them to be at ease in the situation.
Everybody to whom an invitation had been sent had responded with their intention to attend and Jane wondered just how many of those in attendance would be there simply out of curiosity. After so many years of solitude, the county must surely be wondering why it was the Earl had finally decided to invite guests into his home once more.
In the end, Jane’s nerves were such that she had forced herself to take a turn about the grounds, just the neat lawns, even though it was a grey morning and not particularly warm. She wanted to rid herself of her uneasy feeling and approach the afternoon with positivity; the sort of positivity that she hoped would rub off on others.
The truth was, however, that she did not feel greatly improved by the time she had finished her walk and returned to the house.
Jane decided to make her way to the smaller dining room to be sure that all the preparations were just as Lady Ariadne had wanted and was not at all surprised to find that good woman already there when she arrived.
“The tables are set out very nicely, Lady Ariadne,” Jane said as she entered the room.
“Thank you, my dear. And the food looks and smells awfully good too.” She smiled but did not look entirely at her ease. “I have just come from the kitchen and I am bound to say that my nephew’s cook is second to none.”
“But you are still a little nervous?” Jane said gently.
It was the first time she had ever asked such a question of her mistress, always believing that it was not her place. But the last days had taught Jane much about Lady Ariadne Milford and she was no longer simply a strident, forceful, and vaguely amusing figure. Instead, she was a kindly lady who loved her nephew dearly and was of such a kindly disposition that she would suffer any awkwardness if there was the vaguest hope of it improving his life.
“I just hope that the guests know how to behave themselves,” Ariadne said and there was no real need for her to explain any further.
“Yes, I had thought much the same myself.”
“I just do not want to do all of this only to find Nathaniel retreating even further into his shell than he was already. I have a dreadful sense, you see, of making things worse rather than making them better.”
“I think you have to try, My Lady. I think you are doing the right thing.”
“Oh, you are a good girl.” Lady Ariadne suddenly took Jane’s hands in her own and gripped them tightly.
Jane felt suddenly emotional, realizing that her mistress must be very nervous indeed for such an intimate little gesture.
“I do hope it goes well for you. For both of you.”
“You will be there, of course,” Ariadne said, quashing Jane’s secret little hope that the companion would not be required for a social occasion.
“Of course,” Jane said, not skipping a beat. “And I will help in any way I can, you need only ask.”
“Nathaniel seems to have taken to you a little, at least more than I would have expected. Perhaps you would keep an eye on him, even intervene if you think the situation warrants it.”
“Yes, if you think it will help,” Jane said uncertainly, wondering if she really ought to.
“You are a clever girl, Jane, you will manage. You must not forget that you were raised well, for I do believe you do not see it at times.”
“It is difficult to adjust to a new life, Lady Ariadne, to new circumstances and even to my reduced status. It may sound vain, but it is the truth.”
“I know, my dear,” Ariadne smiled, her round and doughy face crinkling pleasingly. “I am so glad that you are here,” she said a little more brightly before releasing her. “Now, are you sure about these tables? Should we push them a little closer together?”
“No, I think they are perfect just as they are,” Jane said and laughed lightly. “It is just nerves, My Lady, I am sure of it. Perhaps we would be better served by leaving the room as it is and making ourselves ready for the afternoon.”
“Yes, very sensible.” Lady Ariadne nodded firmly. “You have me convinced.”
The two women parted at the top of the staircase, each bound for her own chamber. When Jane closed the door of her room behind her, she let out a great sigh. She wandered across to the bed and sat down on it, staring out of the window across the vast Sotheby estate.
She could see the great lake from her vantage point and had the sense that she wished she could spend the afternoon there instead. She did not want the responsibility of intervening, of making sure that all went well for the Earl of Sotheby.
Not because she did not like him, because she found she liked him very well indeed. The truth was that Jane was a quiet woman, one who had been brought up with modesty and humility, and she was not entirely sure that she was up to the task of rescuing a tall and strong man of great title.
Worse still, she had the dreadful idea that she might very easily let him down in some way, forcing him to retreat again.
“Oh, this will not do, Jane,” she said and slapped her palms down hard on her thighs before rising to her feet. “At least you have an event to go to after so long.”
She made her way to the wardrobe and opened it, peering at her gowns and wondering which of them would be the very best choice for the afternoon ahead.
It really had been a long time since Jane had been invited to be a part of the society that she had always known. In her father’s last months, she had hardly left the house. And in the months which had passed since, she had quickly realized that she did not hold such a place in society anymore. She was a companion, one who inhabited the drawing room by day, and her chamber in the evening when there were guests present.
She was not a governess, but she often thought that her own circumstances were not very far removed. So perhaps she ought, for the day at least, to revel in the idea of being a part of society again. She would pick out a nice gown and make an effort with her hair; nothing too ostentatious, but certainly enough to remind the world that she was a baron’s daughter.
The idea gave her enough confidence to keep her going until the afternoon arrived, bringing twenty guests with it.
8
“It is not so bad, is it?” Ariadne whispered into his ear once all his guests had arrived and were settled. “A little upending, I daresay, but it is not too terrible is it?”
“No, it is not terrible at all,” he said, thinking that it rather was but not wanting to say as much.
Nathaniel had to admit that his aunt had done a very
good job with the numbers. There were just enough guests for them to break into little groups and chatter, keeping a low hub-bub of noise ever present so that the room never fell into awkward silence.
But the general atmosphere was awkward and there was no denying it. He was a stranger to these people now, even the ones he remembered well from his younger days.
“I was just telling your aunt, Lord Sotheby, that the end of the summer is rather a strange time. There are never enough events to go to and I am bound to say that I was very pleased when we received your invitation.” Appearing suddenly at his elbow, Lady Penhaligon was a woman he remembered well from his youth.
“Yes, I suppose the London Season is drawing to a close and it is not yet close enough to winter to start thinking about the festive events. It is a sort of social wilderness, I daresay,” Nathaniel said, trying to smile despite the fact that Lady Penhaligon stared at him so intently.
She was certainly of the type who stared rather than flinched, her curiosity overriding her manners with ease.
“And my youngest is now out in society. She came out in the London Season, but it is such an overwhelming time for a young girl. If I had thought, she would have made her debut in the spring. Still, she did very well indeed, and she even managed to receive one or two offers.” Lady Penhaligon was clearly in full bragging mode.
“You must be very proud,” Nathaniel said, remembering the speed and excitement of the London Season, a thing he had not known since before he went off to fight Napoleon’s men. “Am I to take it that we shall soon hear wedding bells?”
“No, not at all. But it is rather good practice for a girl to be proposed to a time or two.” Lady Penhaligon nodded as if to herself. “Yes, I had tutored her well in the art of a subtle rejection and I am bound to say that she managed very nicely.”
“There was some objection to the young men?” Nathaniel said, knowing he must say something since his aunt seemed suddenly and incredibly to have been struck mute.
No doubt she was forcing him to converse; if only it was not with the rather tedious Lady Penhaligon. He looked over to where her husband, Lord Penhaligon, was deep in conversation with Mr. Charles Lawton. No doubt Mr. Lawton was trying to convince Lord Penhaligon to invest in this scheme or that scheme, for he remembered well that he was a clever man who had made a great fortune in some very well-planned opportunities.
The Beast and the Baron's Daughter Page 3
