“She had to die.” His voice is eerily dark as he approaches me. When my back bumps against a wall, I panic. I’m trapped.
I scream as he comes closer and grabs my arm, placing his hand over my mouth. I fight him with all I have, but it’s no use; he’s much stronger than I am. Tears run freely down my cheeks as I realize that he only brought me here to witness her death. To see the power he has over people and to threaten me with it.
“Calm. Down,” he commands.
As he holds me in his arms, I twist and turn until my back is against him and I’m facing the wall. He pulls my arms behind my back and tightens his grasp on my wrists, leaning in to whisper in my ear. “It had to happen. I’m trying to protect you.” He’s holding me so tight I can barely breathe. That, or it’s the adrenaline coursing through my veins. “I want you, only you, and I’ll do anything to protect you from them—the people who want your head. Now … will you be quiet or do I have to shut you up myself?”
I swallow and nod, forcing myself to forget the images of a woman being murdered flashing through my mind.
As X takes his hand off my mouth, I mutter, “You killed her … you kill everyone.”
“She was a loose end.”
“Fuck loose ends; she could’ve kept her promise! You didn’t!” I kick back, trying to free myself from his grasp, but he won’t let me go.
“Listen to me, little bird. I told her to fuck the one who’s behind the target on your back, so I can frame him. I’m going to make his life miserable, so that when I’m done with him he’ll beg me to end his life quickly. I will not let anyone stand in the way of me having you all to myself, or my revenge.” He shoves me against the wall, keeping me there with just one hand. “I am not a good guy. I think I told you that many times before. I use people to my advantage until they’re no longer useful to me, and then I get rid of them. She was no longer useful.” His free hand drifts to the front of my body, where it slips under my dress. “Useful … like a puppet under your command,” I mutter as X’s pants begins to tent and his erection prods my back.
“Exactly. Do what I say and you live. Be useful and you live.”
“Am I still useful?” I ask in a haze.
X’s fingers slide up my dress, exposing my bare ass to his thick bulge. “As long as you give me what I want …” he murmurs, nibbling my ear. “You are mine, little bird, to use as I see fit, and I do want you to give everything to me. I will keep your life safe so long as you’re willing to do whatever it takes to please me.” When his hand reaches my thigh, I press my legs together, but it’s no use to keep him out. I’m already melting from his touch. He takes hold of my naked pussy, reminding me why exactly he told me not to wear panties. He spreads my legs with force, sliding his finger down my folds.
“Is this pussy mine?” he asks, licking my neck.
I nod. “Yes, sir.”
X’s fingers dip inside my pussy, causing me to gasp. He swirls around, making me wet to the core. I can tell he knows he has this effect on me. He chuckles and grins against my skin. “Already wet and open to receive my cock. So willing …”
His fingers are dexterous and skillful as he flicks my nub, his other fingers edging close to my entrance. In his arms I quiver as he rubs me fast. His grip on my wrists is harsh and painful, and I can already feel it leaving a red mark. The pain adds to the pleasure as he continues to play with me. He’s right. I am a slut. I tell myself I don’t need this, but I do. I need him so I can live. I need him so I can feel alive. He makes me feel everything.
“See what a little slut you are?” he says. “Don’t deny it. Love it. I’ll show you what it means to belong. Now come.”
The orgasm comes out of nowhere, responding to his touch and voice. It flows through me, setting my body on fire. His command alone was enough to set me off. He keeps toying with my nub, flicking it, even while I’m coming. My body zings from his touch. I can’t get enough. I still want more, still crave his attention. He keeps offering it to me. With his hand on my pussy and his fingers rubbing me roughly, he gives me mind-blowing pleasure.
I’m on the verge again when he breaks contact and leaves me hanging, panting. I glance over my shoulder. The sound his tie makes as it slips off his neck sends shivers down my spine.
He licks his lips. “Arms behind your back, little bird. Do not disobey me.”
I keep my arms locked together while he wraps the tie around my wrists and knots it. “Good girls don’t fight. Bad girls get tied up,” he says, kissing my shoulder blade. His kiss turns into a bite, and I cry out in pain. He puts his finger in my mouth and says, “Suck, slut. Show me how much you’re willing to give me everything.” It stings when he takes his mouth off my shoulder. My mind is playing with me, telling me to bite down on his finger, but I know I might die if I do. The will to live is stronger than the will to fight.
I can taste myself as he swirls his finger around in my mouth. He groans as his hand drifts down to my ass and jerks up what remains of my dress. I’m completely exposed now, and when I hear his zipper being pulled down, I know what’s going to happen.
“This little slut wants a cock? She’ll get a cock,” he says. The tip of his shaft pushes against my entrance as he wipes it back and forth over my pussy and ass. I groan from the teasing, feeling tormented sexually as well as mentally. Gripping the tie, he enters and fills me up completely. Air escapes my mouth as I feel him thrust in and out of me, pushing me up against the wall.
“You like this cock?” he grunts, his breath becoming rapid and loud like a bull blowing off steam.
Nodding is not enough. He grabs my hair and slams my head firmly against the wall.
“Say it!” he growls.
“I like your cock, sir.”
“Not. Good. Enough,” he says, jerking harder on my hair while fucking me roughly.
“I want your cock, sir. I love it,” I say, spreading my legs to grant him more so he’ll be nicer.
“Yeah, I know you do, you filthy whore.” He pulls his cock out. Fazed, I hear the sound of his belt flipping through the rings. Oh, no.
“Oh, yes,” he whisper-laughs.
Did I say that out loud?
Before I have a chance to respond, he wraps the belt around my neck and fastens it. With his fingertips he nudges me down until I can barely stand upright. “Keep that position.”
Twisting the belt until the loose end is in his hands, he pulls it hard, and then drives into me again. I can feel every little ridge of the piercings in his cock as he drives into me. I can barely breathe as he fucks me from behind, using the belt as some sort of leash. I feel like an animal, and yet this fucking is driving me mad. Madly into bliss. It turns off every bit of shame, emotion, remorse, hurt in my body and only allows me to experience what’s happening right now. Him, claiming my body, over and over again.
His cock is rigid and pushes deep inside me as he pulls hard on the belt. It’s the only thing keeping me from tumbling forward, and I trust him not to let me fall. He wants me in this position, to be the slut he wants me to be. And slowly but surely I am turning into just that.
My pussy is fluttering around his shaft, craving more of his pounding until I’m at the edge of ecstasy. It wants to come so badly, but I know that if I do, I might get punished. But I can’t deny that his cock makes me insane with lust, that I’m losing control over my orgasm. That I have no say in whether I come or not. I just do.
“Do you want to come again, huh?” His voice is smoky and dark. “Does this little slut want to milk me so badly?”
“Yes, sir, please … can I come?” I say. He pulls so hard on the belt I nearly choke.
“No.”
I growl and groan from frustration as he thrusts into me once more. It’s hard to keep it together when his cock starts pulsating inside me. I can feel everything: his hot breath lingering on my skin as he leaves little bite marks all over my shoulder, the way he grinds me, how he groans and breathes like a madman overcome by sheer lust.
“You want my cum, you dirty whore?”
“Yes, please,” I say, taking a deep breath to retain my calm.
He jerks on the belt and whacks my ass with a flat hand, making me scream. “Louder.”
“I want your cum, sir.”
“Beg for it.”
“Please, give me your cum.”
As I whimper and groan from his thrusts, he explodes inside me. His shots come out with loud growls as he fills me with his warmth. “Now come,” he groans.
The command brings me over the edge. The explosion courses through my body, which pulses with need as I come together with him. My pussy feels warm and sated. When he’s done, he slaps my ass again, leaving a painful sizzle.
Suddenly, he pulls his cock from my pussy and twirls me around. “Down. On your knees.”
A push is all that’s needed to bring me to my knees. I’m weak. Willing. Offering. Unlike me.
With the belt still in his hands, he starts rubbing himself. He jerks himself in front of me, looking down upon me with teeth jammed together as if he hasn’t decided whether he wants to screw me again or screw me over.
He flicks the head and runs his hand along the shaft, then slaps me with it.
“Suck all of it off,” he says, pulling on the belt to get my head closer. “Suck until it’s clean.”
I lean forward, but he pushes me hard into his cock. Even when half-hard, he still makes me choke on it. I lick, suck, and plead with my eyes until he’s satiated. Rubbing his lips together, he groans as he takes his cock from my mouth and inspects it.
“Good girl. You lapped it all up.” X grabs my chin and nudges me to stand. My breath comes out in short gasps as he takes off the belt. Suddenly, he leans in to plant a kiss on my lips. I’m taken by surprise as he claims my mouth, his tongue probing at the seams. He’s eager and I can feel his desire to have me in every way possible, just from this one kiss. It’s almost as if … No, that’s not him. He could never want my heart.
With his lips massaging mine, he unties my wrists. He brings his hand to my pussy and dips it in, to my surprise. I gasp in his mouth as he speaks the words, “I want you to drip as you walk back to the car. Let my cum run down your legs and show the world that you belong to me.”
“Forget the past. Only the future can be altered.” – Notes of X
Chapter 21
Jay
Saturday, September 14th, 2013. 10:32 a.m.
Losing your soul comes at a price. A hefty price. Sanity.
Two shovels, one hole. A body on the bottom.
The clouds have gathered, raindrops falling down by the bucket. We’re soaked and cold, but we keep going. Shoveling up the dirt, I try not to look her in the eyes as I throw it on her. X is on the left while I’m on the right, working our asses off to bury this body. My heels sink into the dirt and my dress is smudged. I feel like a criminal. No, I know I am. This is so fucking wrong, I can’t even begin to describe it, but what else am I supposed to do? X handed me the shovel and told me to help him. I can’t say no anymore. I lost that word long ago, when I tried fighting him. It’s no use. He wants me, and X always gets what he wants. No matter what I do, he wins. He’s spinning me around his finger now, winding me up like a doll that speaks, talks and walks as he commands. The worst part is that I don’t care anymore. I’ve stopped caring. It’s not going to get any better if I care. There’s nobody that needs me around, or searches for me, or wonders where I’ve gone. Only him. He is the only one who truly needs me … who cares about me in his own wicked way.
Sometimes I think I’m starting to need him as much as he needs me.
But it’s strange. Being around him has made me realize the world is much more complicated than I thought. That I’m more complicated than I thought. I’m doing things I never imagined I would. I’m helping him hide a dead body, for fuck’s sake. It can’t get any more fucked up than that.
I wonder why he goes through all this trouble just to catch the one behind everything. If it’s really all about me having a target on my head. He wants them to feel misery and pain. Humiliating him is his goal, especially now with that hooker. There has to be more to it. He wouldn’t just do that for me.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask in between shoveling up the dirt.
Frowning, he briefly looks up from under his brows, a grizzly look in his eye. Then he sighs loudly and continues.
“Whose life do you want to ruin?” I ask again.
He slams the shovel into the ground and wipes his hands. “Someone who destroyed not only your life, but mine too.” He picks up the shovel again and slams down the sand on top of the grave. “And now I’m going to do the same to them.”
Destroyed his life? Is he talking about after he found me? Or does he mean before that?
One look at him is all it takes to know what this is about. He’s hiding his face from me again.
“Is this about your scar?” I ask with a soft voice, trying not to enrage him.
He throws the shovel away and stands there, panting. “That too.”
I lick my lips, mulling over the words I’m going to say next. “What did they do to you?”
His eye drifts toward the ground as he stamps the grave with his feet. “You don’t want to know.”
“I do,” I say, standing my ground.
He looks at me, a brief moment of silence passing between us. “You? You want to know about me?” he scoffs.
“Is that so odd, that I want to know who my captor really is? What he’s been through? The least it will give me is the knowledge that I’m not the only one hurting here.”
“Yeah, I reckon you want to use it against me. Because knowledge is power.”
I swallow away the nerves building in my throat and stomach. God, why is he always one step ahead of me? I purse my lips. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t.” I pat down the grave with my shovel while X throws on leaves.
It’s quiet for a while until he opens his mouth again. “All right. I’ve decided I will tell you. After all, a pet like you should feel the need to please me. It might come easier to you when you know.”
“Know what?”
“That I sacrificed everything for you.”
***
X
Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
Sweat drops roll down my face as I face what no man should ever have to face.
“You know why we have to do this,” my mother says.
I twist and turn in the wooden chair, trying to free myself. The ropes are cutting into my flesh, but I don’t care. Just the sight of that thing makes me want to stand up and run, no matter that I’m tied down. “Please, Mother, isn’t there another way?” I ask. I never use the word please. Now I’ll gladly use it.
“No,” my father growls. “We told you what would happen if you defied our orders.”
Darkness surrounds me, nestling in my heart. The room is lit only by the crackling fire right in front of me. My eyes dart back to my mother and what she’s doing. A chill runs down my spine as I watch her play with the fire like it’s all fun and games to her. The fun ended a long time ago.
I swallow. “I don’t deserve that. Not for what I did.”
“That is exactly why you deserve it!” my father yells. “Don’t you see?” He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. The shame and humiliation I feel are reflected in his eyes. I realize this is really going to happen.
The urge to flee takes over.
I get up, chair and all, and try to make a run for it, but my father captures me and puts me down again.
“No! You can’t do this!” I scream.
He holds me down, grasping my arms and keeping my feet together with his shoes. The stern look on his face is unlike any other I’ve ever seen.
“You knew the risks. I told you what would happen if you continued.”
“It wasn’t me!” I yell. “I’m not the one who started it all.”
My father goes to his knees in front of me, hi
s eyes narrowing. I see my mother poking the fire, the sight making me sick to my stomach.
“You couldn’t stop using those eyes of yours for all the wrong reasons.”
“Who cares? You’re a monster! You’re all monsters!” I scream. “How can you do this? Are you crazy?”
I ask the question, but I already know the answer. I knew it since I was born into this fucked-up world. My family never was, and never will be, normal. Vermin. Scum of the earth. Shadowy protectors of the vile and killers of the innocent. We are everywhere and nowhere. We are nobodies. Our lives don’t matter.
My life doesn’t matter. Not even to them.
“Stop. This is what’s happening. End of story. You had a choice and you wasted it,” my father says.
“Choice? My ass! There is no choice between dying and that!” I grind my teeth.
My father smiles. It’s disgusting. “There is always a choice.”
He gets up again and takes a few steps back. My mother turns her head and raises the fire iron. The red glow sets a full panic attack into motion.
I wriggle and struggle to get free, but it’s no use. Snapping his fingers, my father summons a few men to keep me down.
My father turns his back to me, clearing his throat. “You ruined us. Because of you we lost the same client yet again. It cannot be undone. This is your punishment. Accept it with dignity and grace.”
My mother inspects the fire iron and then smiles at me. It horrifies me. When she starts walking toward me, I push back as hard as I can. It’s no use. Within seconds she’s in front of me.
“I love you, my dear boy, but this has to be done. You know the rules.”
“Screw the rules!” I scream, fighting the ones that are holding me back.
“Even in our profession there are rules. You should have realized that before you attempted to break them.” She lifts her hand, and I lean back, but it’s not enough. She can still touch me. Her hand gently cups my face and caresses my cheek, like she’s suddenly the loving mother she could never be to me.
Mr. X Page 21
