“I do care, actually,” I say, putting the bottle away. “I will not lose my property to alcohol.”
She snorts and smashes her lips together, nodding. “Property. Right.”
I grab her chin, nudging it softly. “You are mine, Jay. You always were. You were never anyone else’s. You didn’t even permit yourself to think of anyone else but me, despite being a slut.”
“Oh, fuck you. You might have my body, but you won’t have my heart.”
I cock my head. “Do you really believe that?”
She gazes at me in complete silence for a few seconds before turning her head away from me again. She knows what I mean. What I said was true. I do love her. She knows this. She knows I would risk anything to keep her. She also knows she can no longer resist the feelings tucked inside her. I’ve seen it too. Her eyes can’t stop begging me to hold her, to kiss her, to fuck her. She’s always struggled with the idea of giving in to me, because she feels it’s wrong; she’s been taught to fight and fend for herself. When that choice was taken away from her, she realized she didn’t need it anymore. All she needed was love. It scares her that I offer it to her. That, and the fact that she probably never expected to like all of the kinky fucking.
Now that we’re past that, I wonder if I can truly make her mine. Make her see that she wants me just as much as I want her.
I clear my throat. “You know, it was an accident. You never remembered. I never forgot. Your father blamed you for it.”
“No wonder he likes me so much.” She rolls her eyes in disgust.
“I do.”
She laughs. “You? Like me?”
“Hmhm … contrary to what you may believe, I think we make a great pair.”
“You just told me you killed my mother. It’s your fault. And now you’re telling me you like me? I’m sorry, I don’t even know how to fucking respond to that.”
“Actually we were playing and I bumped into her. It wasn’t intentional.”
“And that’s supposed to make it all okay?” She shakes her head. “Never mind, I don’t even know why I care so much. I never knew her anyway. It’s not like I feel anything.”
“It doesn’t. I did many things that anger you.”
“You did.”
I lean in closer, placing my hand on top of her leg. “I did. I punished you. I whipped you until you were red and sore. I tasted your blood. You tasted fucking delicious.” I smile. She tries to lean away, but can’t, because this is a car after all, and there’s not much space. “Tell me, in all honesty, that you didn’t like any of it.”
Slamming her mouth shut, she diverts her eyes and balls her fists.
“I know you won’t, because it isn’t true. You do like it. Years ago you even begged me to do it to you. You crave the wickedness. It’s in your veins. You waited and waited for something you didn’t even know you needed: me.”
I plant a kiss on top of her cheek, sliding her hair to her back. Shivering, her breathing speeds up, and her lips quiver.
“All I ever wanted was you. All I ever got was pain. Now you know what it feels like,” I whisper in her ear.
My hand drifts closer to her inner thighs, moving up to the warmth between her legs. She shudders as I place a kiss on her jaw, dragging it to her lips. With my other hand I nudge her chin toward me.
“Stop fighting it, little bird. Ignore your conscience. It makes you unhappy. Let me make you fly.”
When I lock my lips on hers, she closes her eyes and lets me in. I kiss her softly and slowly, adding more pressure to her thigh as our kiss grows deeper. She tenses when I slide my hand closer to her pussy, but relaxes when I peck her softly on the side of her lip.
“Be mine, little bird. Give yourself to me. Let yourself go,” I whisper against her soft skin.
Her lips quiver as she sucks in the air. “I need … love.” The words come out in a slur.
I caress her cheek with my index finger. “I know, little bird. My love is what you get as well as my fury. But you can handle it. You’re a strong girl.” I press my lips to hers as they part, allowing me entrance. I cup her face and kiss away the fears she has left. Now is not the time to think. Now is not the time to be angry or remorseful. Now is the time to let go and enjoy each other’s company. It’s all we have.
Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kisses me back, licking my tongue. It feels riveting. My cock bounces in my pants, eager to feel her soft flesh again. Connecting with her gaze, I watch her chestnut eyes turn into a blazing fire.
Leaning in, she throws her legs around mine and inches closer. My hands drift to her tits as I lazily pull them from their holsters and play with her nipples. I tug and pull, alternating harsh with soft as she moans in my mouth. I love the sounds she makes when I’m a little too hard on her. Her pain brings me pleasure, and her pleasure brings me pain. I need both right now.
My mouth is desperate to feel her again. I remind myself why I loved her all those years ago, how much I ached to touch her but couldn’t. Screw the fucking rules. I’m throwing everything out of the window now.
Lust overtakes me as I plunge my fingers down her folds. Silencing a squeal with my mouth, I ravish her, fondling her pussy until she’s swollen and wet. My cock thickens, straining my pants. Fuck, I’m so hard for her. My lips travel from her mouth to her neck and down to her nipples, where I cover them with my mouth. Swirling my tongue around, I sink my teeth into her skin and pull until she screams with delight.
She doesn’t fight me. Her hands are still around my neck, her fingers digging into my skin. My back burns from her scratch marks, but it only makes me hornier. So I play with her nub and push her to her limits before I pull her completely into my lap. Probing my finger inside, her snugness is what makes me mad with wantonness.
“Oh … fuck …” she moans as I circle around inside her, nipping at her tits at the same time. Bite marks are all across her chest and neck area, like a beautiful necklace to accompany that beautiful body of hers. I want to make her mine so badly I can’t stop thinking about marking her everywhere. Knowing that she is mine and mine alone is what drives me to do the things I do.
I rip down my zipper and take out my cock. But before I have a chance to lift her up, she grabs my face and kisses me full on the lips. It surprises me. I never expected her to succumb to me so quickly. Her neediness takes me aback, and for a moment I’m left wondering if she’s just in the moment, if she really wants me, or if she’s too drunk to care. Either way, I’m rolling with it.
Her hand drifts down her body as she gives in to the moment we’re having. Her fingers find their way to her clit, rubbing it with fervor. Licking my lips, I slide my hand up her tits and grab her by the throat.
“Yes, little bird. Make that pussy even wetter for me. Go on.” I clasp her throat tight, and she looks down at me with equal thirst. She’s hungry for my power, eager to gain my approval. Her gasps come in short breaths as I tighten my hold on her neck, staring into her eyes as she flicks her nub.
“Do it,” I whisper. “Make yourself come. I want you to spill it all over me. Show me how much you want this.”
She rubs and rubs, her fingers crazy from excitement. Her eyes roll into the back of her head, her lips part to make an O, and her voice turns into a high-pitched noise. A moan slips out and then she bucks her hips, her body shuddering to the touch of her fingers. I groan and grind my teeth like an animal. I’m so fucking ready to blow inside of her.
“Well done, little bird.”
She shudders, drawing in a lip-sucking breath. “Thank you, sir.”
I grin. “Now take my cock like a good girl.”
The muscles in her legs tighten around mine, and so I take the opportunity to raise her and lower her onto my pulsing cock. The anticipation is visible on her face as she scrunches her brows and purses her red lips, making me want to kiss her. I can feel her heartbeat through her skin, increasing its pace as her body trembles above my cock. Eager and on edge. Exactly how I like it, and how sh
e needs it.
Her expression is a mixture of agony and bliss as I bury myself into her snug pussy, coating my cock with her wetness. She has never felt this good before, so willing, so open to take me. Her skin is coated in a thin layer of sweat, drops rolling down her plump tits. I suck them off and circle my tongue around the crown. She moans, taking my cock even deeper. We’re riding on the waves of ecstasy, fucking for the sake of fucking, but I’m loving it so far. I bet she doesn’t give a shit either right now.
Sweat breaks out on my forehead as I plunge deeper into her. She bucks her hips, enclosing me around her as she rests her head on my shoulder. I grab her ass with both hands and pump into her again and again. Slapping her ass, I make her ride me like a good little slut. Finally she gives me what I’ve been craving all along. Her willingness. Obedience. Desire. Everything.
We’re both in the place we want to be. Both our needs fulfilled. My domination and her freedom. It’s all in this one moment of mindless sex.
Her screams fill the car, fogging up the windshields as I bang her quick and dirty. No words are needed. She knows I am her only pleasure, her only release from this tainted world. She knows I give her an escape when she needs it the most. Fleeing isn’t what she wants; she wants my cock to make her forget everything around her. We’re both users. Two sides of a coin.
“That’s it. Fuck me, little bird. Use me for your pleasure like I used you,” I whisper in her ear, nibbling it, biting down hard.
Her finger traces a line down my tattoo, fixating on my nipple piercing when she reaches it. “Yes …” she mutters.
“Hmm … I know you want to. Ride my cock, Jay. Ride it because it’s yours, like that pussy of yours is mine.” My tongue moves back to her other tit so I can give it a good lick. I roll her nipple between my fingers, tugging and squeezing until she moans in my ear. Then I suck on it and bite down again, creating two identical red marks.
I move my hands back to her ass, spanking her with a flat hand. She bounces up and down each time, the extra friction a delight to my cock. Her skin heats up underneath my hand as I keep hitting her. Her brows draw together and she bites down on my shoulder in pain. I fucking love it.
“Fuck me …” she murmurs.
“Yes, Jay, let me fuck that pretty little pussy of yours. Keep riding that cock. Make me proud and I’ll let you come again.”
She leans back, planting her hands on the dashboard. She slips her wet little pussy over my cock with ease. So eager. I can’t even fucking believe it.
“Hurt me then,” she says.
I can’t fucking believe my ears either.
“Give me the pain. I can handle you,” she says.
I’m done for.
I rip my tie loose and throw it around her neck, holding both ends. I tie it around again and pull it, squeezing her throat. She gasps, her breath faltering from the pressure building on her neck.
“Yes, Jay, feel the air leaving your body as I fuck you hard. I want to see the blood leave your face while you come.”
I caress her with the pain she desires so much. She struggles to keep going as I tug on the leash around her neck, but she still does. The innate desire to please me is too strong for her.
I slap her tit and jerk her nipple, her screams disappearing into nothingness as the air fails to push through her lungs. I bounce her on my lap, pushing her to her limits, her eyes darting all around, delirious from the high.
She is slick and hot as we cross the line between this world and the next. The sensation of being inside her, feeling her body against mine while she allows me to hurt her is riveting.
“Come for me, little bird. Show me how much you want to please me. Show me how much you love this cock buried deep inside you while I take your breath away.”
The muscles in her pussy start rippling, arousing me to my core. Her eyes roll into the back of her head. And right at that moment, at the peak of her pleasure, I let go of the tie around her neck and pull her toward me, crashing my lips into hers. My tongue probes her mouth as she falls apart in my arms, convulsing heavily. Her heavy orgasm pushes me to the brink of ecstasy. Groaning, I come undone. A hot jet of seed spurts into her pussy. My release is edgy and fulfilling. As I unleash my load into her, I moan in her mouth, and she responds with a heavy sigh, filled with emotions. My cum seems to come in streams as it spills out of her pussy and onto my pants.
“Thank you …” she whimpers.
It sets the fire in me ablaze.
Panting, I wrap my arms around her warm body and press her tits to my chest. She’s snug against me, her head resting in the nook of my neck while my spent cock slips out of her. Her skin is covered in marks; red, blue and purple. Colors I created. Mine. All mine.
I don’t know why I care so much. I never did care for any of the girls except her. I suppose, even after all these years, she never left me. Not my heart.
I realize this could be my downfall. I am in love with her. I always was. It’s exactly why I despise her so much. She made me weak, and in that one weak moment I faltered and was punished for it. I died that day my mother burned my eye. And Jay is the one who caused it all.
But having her in my arms like this, like a little girl, wanting to be loved … she can undo me.
Even after all the things I’ve been through for her, no matter how many times she’s hurt me, I still need her. Denying it is futile. I’ve already fallen into her clutches.
I hate her. I love her. Those emotions cannot coexist. What follows now will be the end for us both.
“For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” - Anonymous
Chapter 25
X
Wednesday, September 18th, 2013. 9:35 a.m.
Loud talking disrupts my shaving session. I drop the razorblade in the sink and walk out to see Jay watching the news. A dead girl is all over the news; the woman we buried together. They’re talking about knowing who the killer is thanks to an anonymous tip. Of course they know, I sent it in.
“Turn it off,” I say gruffly.
“Can I watch this, please?” she asks nicely. She’s been trained well, but I know she’s trying to push my boundaries.
I glance at the television again and when the reporter begins about a sex tape sent to the local news station my eyes widen. “No.”
I march toward her and jerk the remote control from her hand. She pouts. “Oh, c’mon.”
“Do as I tell you, little bird,” I say. “Or do I have to remind you who’s in charge here?”
Frowning, she swallows. “Fine.”
I cup her face with my index finger and thumb, holding up her chin. “Get dressed.” I smile, which lightens her mood a bit. I try to make her forget about the hard stuff in life. All she has to worry about is pleasing me. She’s doing a wonderful job. It amazes me that she’s accepted me so openly. I wonder if this could stay.
Once I’m done with my job and I’ve had my revenge, she will stay. I will make sure of it.
***
Jay
Wednesday, September 18th, 2013. 9:43 a.m.
I won.
His heart is mine. He told me he loves me. Even though he also said he hates me, I can tell he wants me more than anything. Hatred and love aren’t so far apart. He just can’t stand that he wants me so much. Which means I’ve got him.
He’s mine. He needs me. I’m there, already in his grasp, ready for the taking, just like he wanted me to be. I’m a filthy, obedient, lusty whore. He controls my every waking thought. To him this means power. To me this means he is weak. Every day I wake up realizing more and more that this man can no longer give me up. X’s desire to keep me is stronger than his need for revenge, even on me. He can’t kill me. I know it in my heart.
Every step I take toward the car means another step toward freedom. My heart is racing, my thoughts are a jumbled mess. My brain is telling me to run, to keep walking and never look back. He won’t shoot me. I keep telling myself this.
But m
y body won’t listen. I can’t get my legs to move away from him. They follow him like meek lambs, listening to his every command. Sometimes I feel stupid. Sometimes I feel like this is where I belong.
Somehow, I can’t let this go. No matter how much I wanted my freedom back, there is something here with him that draws me in. The memories that have been creeping back into my mind have changed me. All this time I had this feeling like I knew him, and now I know why. His kisses were magnetizing to me. I wanted his touch more than anything. Even then I knew what pleasured him, and that he got gratification out of whipping me until he drew blood. I still wanted it. I needed it. I needed to feel his overbearing love because that was all I had. My father never gave it to me. My mother was never there.
Or at least, I don’t remember her. All I remember is him.
In the past.
In the present.
In the future? I don’t know. I can’t decide. My heart has caved in. Submitting to him was the ordeal that brought me from insanity to freedom. With him I feel safe, even though he still makes me bleed. I don’t hurt anymore. Pain has turned into lust, and lust grew into feelings.
These past few days have only added to that.
If I even knew what I wanted, the answer would terrify me, so I decide not to think about it.
In the car, he holds me in place. His fingers are firmly curled around my leg as we drive toward whatever destination he has in mind. His possession over me lets me escape from reality. His inevitable desire makes him want to take care of me. It puts me at ease and gives me the illusion that I’m cherished. Maybe I am. The lines between reality and fantasy have blurred rapidly.
Is freedom still what I’m looking for? Or is it more than that? The more days I spend with him, the less I have the desire to run. After everything that’s happened, he is the only person in my life still left standing. I don’t know if I can survive being without him anymore.
Mr. X Page 24
