by Ali Parker
“Wha—?”
He interrupted my startled question by pressing his finger to my mouth. If it were anyone but Jared on any day but today, the move would’ve pissed me off. But it was Jared, and it was today, so I let it go.
“You should take the guys and go back home. I’ll deal with this myself.” The way he said it, he wasn’t asking. He was telling me what he wanted, and I respected what he needed.
Again, it was Jared, and it was today. He was having a really rough time, and if taking the band home would help him, that’s what I would do.
“Okay.” I pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. “Whatever you need, Jared.”
Just for today anyway, I’ll agree to do whatever he needs.
19
Jared
“Mr. Larsen?” a timid voice asked from behind me. I turned to find a guy who was probably around my age standing there. He wore nurse’s scrubs and looked afraid he was going to get attacked.
It took a second for it to sink in that it was me he was afraid of. He was probably thinking I was going to deck him after my track record with the nursing staff this morning. Not my proudest moments, but fuck pride.
I’d been sitting around in the waiting for hours with zero news about Caleb. I’d asked the nurses about him a bunch of times, but no one answered my questions. I’d gone from pissed and aggravated to livid and incensed a long time ago, and it was only getting worse as the hours passed.
Alicia had made me promise before she left that I would let the doctors do their jobs and wait like a good little fucking boy for news about my brother. I tried keeping my promise for the first few minutes after I came back inside, but my patience was nonexistent, and it felt like the staff was being intentionally cagey about information.
No doubt Nurse Nancy from this morning had a hand in that. To be fair, it probably wasn’t only her. I hadn’t exactly been a picnic while I’d been waiting for news.
I wasn’t used to not getting what I wanted, when I wanted it anymore. I could recognize that was a problem, but it didn’t make things any easier while doctors were working on my brother without any word. Not getting what I wanted in this particular situation was torture to me. I was big enough to admit that, even if it did sound spoiled.
Alicia also told me I was being a brat about it, though she understood I was worried, and made me promise to stop acting so spoiled, but I couldn’t help it. I was spoiled, and I hated that the universe chose this way to teach me a lesson in humility and patience.
Sure, I knew I probably deserved a lesson in those things, but did it have to be today?
I glared at the guy who’d asked for me and was waiting for my answer. “Don’t tell me. You still don’t have any information for me?”
“No, sir.” The guy said. He was pale and his voice strangled like he was struggling to speak.
I started to form my response about how pathetic it was that all they could tell me was they had nothing new, but the guy cut me off, clearing his throat. “I meant no, sir, I’m not here to tell you that. I’m here to tell you that you can see him now.”
“About fucking time,” I mumbled. I shot up from the uncomfortable chair I’d been waiting in, thankful there wasn’t a spring jamming into my thigh anymore and brushed past the nurse. Remembering my muttered promises to Alicia and, to be honest, feeling a little ashamed at the way I’d hurled abuse around earlier, I paused. “Thanks for coming to tell me I can go see him now. Please apologize to your coworkers for me. It’s been a long day.”
His eyes widened in surprise, but he nodded his head. “I’ll do that, sir. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me,” I said gruffly. The exchange left me feeling like shit as I headed to the double doors of the ICU. Had I really been that bad earlier that he felt he had to say thank you for my apology?
The thought made my head hurt. Too much had happened over the last twenty-four hours, even for me. The interview, the feelings I was forced to admit to myself I was developing for Alicia, waking up to the news that my brother was in the hospital. For a guy who was usually pretty happy-go-lucky, a bunch of deep, serious stuff like that made me feel all tapped out.
And the worst was still to come, I realized as I stepped into the ICU. It was a large room with hospital beds lining all the walls. Rows of machines were mounted above each bed, and those beds that were occupied had all kinds of medical paraphernalia standing next to them.
Another nurses’ station was right in front of me with a whiteboard on the wall behind it. I spotted Caleb’s name and bed number while I walked, blinking when I noticed his was the bed I was just coming up on.
I didn’t even recognize him at first. He seemed so small lying there, machines beeping and tubes hooked up to him. Dread flooded my veins, and my feet felt heavy. Caleb’s eyes were closed, but he was breathing rhythmically. His skin was pale and drawn. It seemed impossible that he looked so small and frail when he’d been his usual self just yesterday.
His hands were lying on top of the starched white blankets tucked around him, and I grabbed one as soon as I came close enough. I couldn’t remember the last time I held my brother’s hand, but I couldn’t bear not to do it now. Pain lanced through me as I felt how cold his hands were.
How did I let this happen?
Caleb’s eyes fluttered open at my touch, and he wet his lips before croaking out. “Where the fuck am I?”
“Hospital,” I told him in a voice low enough that we wouldn’t bother the other patients. There was no one in the beds closest to him, but there was an older man lying across from him.
Caleb rolled his eyes and then winced. “I figured that out, asshole. They told me I got alcohol poisoning. We still in New York?”
“Unfortunately.” I couldn’t help wondering if this would’ve happened if we’d never come here. But this wasn’t the time to be wondering about hypothetical scenarios. It had happened, and we were here. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a sumo wrestler or four.”
I snorted. “Only if they were driving trucks. Not sure the wrestlers alone would’ve had this effect. You’ve looked better.”
Caleb grimaced. “I’ll take your word for it.”
His eyelids seemed heavy, and they drooped for a second before he looked at me again. I couldn’t stand seeing him look so … vulnerable. It was fucking unnatural.
And it’s my fault.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me to be last night.” I nearly choked on the emotion rising in my throat. Fuck, this was hard, but I needed to get it out. “I should’ve been there.”
“Why?” Caleb frowned, looking like he was struggling to keep his focus. He blinked up at me. “What were you going to do differently to what everyone else did?”
“I would’ve stopped you.” I ground my teeth together. I thought of the other guys in the band as brothers to us, but what kind of brother let another drink himself into a hospital?
You. A voice whispered in the recesses of my mind. I pushed it away, but guilt had already settled heavily on my shoulders. I could’ve gone out with them last night, but I’d selfishly chosen to spend time with Alicia instead.
As if he could read my mind, Caleb scoffed. “Please. If none of the others could stop me, what makes you think you could? Besides, you had better things to do than count my shots.”
“There’s nothing better to do than to make sure you’re okay.” Especially since he hadn’t been okay without me there. And even if it would’ve meant missing out on one of the best nights I remembered having in a very, very long time.
“Quit the pity party, Jay. This isn’t your fault.”
I stuck out my chin in defiance, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah? Whose fault is it, then?”
“Mine,” Caleb said firmly. “There’s no one else to blame. It’s no one’s fault but mine. The details are hazy, but I remember Dom and Nick each taking bottles away from me at different times and Matt telling a bartender to cut me off.”
So they had tried to help. Relief seeped into my pores. It didn’t surprise me to hear they’d tried to help. We’d been sticking together and looking out for each other for a long time. The question was, why didn’t Caleb listen to anyone?
He usually did. We all did. We were stubborn, pigheaded assholes most of the time, but when push came to shove? We knew we had to trust each other to know when it was time to pull our heads out of our asses. It was why I’d been so pissed at Nick when he told me what happened and at the others since.
I couldn’t understand why they hadn’t done anything to stop Caleb, but now he was telling me that they had. My cheeks felt cold as the blood drained from them. “Why didn’t you stop when they told you to?”
Caleb sighed and let his eyes flutter closed as he paused. When he opened them again, there was a defeat in them that scared me. “We’ve been consumed by this lifestyle, Jared. All of us. We live like we’re fucking invincible and we have the whole world at our fingertips. It’s a recipe for disaster. It was a matter of time before something like this happened. I’m lucky it’s not worse.”
He blanched, and I didn’t even want to know what thoughts ran through his mind to cause it. Without thinking about it, I tightened my hand around his.
Caleb’s eyes darted to where my hand was still resting over his, and his frown deepened, but he surprised me by giving my fingers a squeeze of his own before turning on his side and resting his head on his hand. “We’re not invincible.”
“We’re not,” I agreed and then tried to lighten the heavy, somber mood. “Well, you’re not. Me? I could be.”
He snorted, rolling his eyes again. “You’re not.”
A minute of silence passed between us as we each got lost in our own thoughts. Caleb looked like he was just starting to drift off when he opened his eyes and met mine. “You know how long they’re planning on keeping me here?”
No one had given me any indication of how long Caleb had to say, but it didn’t matter. “No idea, but I’m not leaving your side until we walk out of this hospital together.”
20
Alicia
“Have you heard anything from Jared?” Gerry walked into my office without knocking, striding across it without being invited in and sinking into the chair across from my desk without asking if I had time for an impromptu meeting. If that was even what this was.
Suppressing a sigh, I saved the document I was working on and threaded my fingers together on my desk, turning my attention to my boss. Or the man who fancied himself my boss. He wasn’t really, but since he owned the company that owned the building the offices were in, he lorded it over everyone and acted like the offices, well, like they belonged to him.
Unfortunately, that also meant he thought he didn’t need appointments and everyone always had time for him. We didn’t.
Like now, I was supposed to be crafting a response to an article about Destitute that was due to be released in an hour. Instead of doing that, I was settling in to talk to Gerry. If I wasn’t curious about whether he’d heard from the Larsen brothers, I would’ve carried on working to let him know I didn’t really have time.
Unlike so many others around here, I wasn’t afraid of Gerry. I spoke my mind around him, and I usually didn’t take his crap. Or his intrusions. Jared and Caleb, however, were constantly on my mind, and I was dying for an update.
“I haven’t,” I told him, mentally crossing my fingers and toes that he had.
Gerry’s lips almost disappeared he set them in a line so thin. “Fuck. No. I haven’t either. I was hoping you would have something.”
My heart sank. Shaking my head, I tried to push aside my disappointment. “I still haven’t been able to get ahold of him.”
Not to get an update on Caleb’s condition or anything else. Despite the strides I thought we’d made in our relationship in New York, I hadn’t heard a thing from Jared since I got back. The last I spoke to him was when I said goodbye at the hospital.
He’d understandably been so preoccupied with Caleb, having been told he was okay, but I’d heard nothing more by the time I had to leave for the flight. I’d gotten only one distracted kiss before he was gone.
And that had been that. I tried to call him, and I left him messages to call me back, but he hadn’t answered the phone or returned my calls. He didn’t text, send a smoke signal, or a carrier pigeon.
Zip. Zero. Nada.
For all I knew, the two of them had taken off to become cowboys or beach bums somewhere. Since I didn’t know where the front man and lead guitarist of the band I worked for were, it posed a professional dilemma of epic proportions. But that was nothing compared to how I was feeling about Jared shutting me out so completely after the night we’d had together in New York.
I’d been so sure something had changed between us that night, and then he pulled this radio silent routine. I just didn’t know what the hell to think anymore.
On one hand, I knew he was busy with Caleb, and frankly, I was worried about the younger Larsen brother as well, but on the other, how long did it really take to send one damn text?
Gerry looked perplexed, his eyes drifting to the ocean beyond the window behind me before focusing on mine again. “What are we going to do? It’s been two days since we flew back with the rest of the boys, and I don’t even know if our lead guitarist is still alive.”
“Gerry!” I admonished him, the first tendrils of fear wrapping their icy tentacles around my stomach. I refused to think that Jared had fallen off the face of the planet because something had happened to Caleb.
No. Caleb was fine, and Jared was just waiting until he was better before contacting us. Maybe the two of them were even kicking back in New York for a few days, taking a break after Caleb got discharged. I was hoping it was that. It had to be that.
“What?” Gerry shrugged, but his eyes were troubled. “What are we going to do, Alicia? This is a fuck up we can only cover up for so long. Forty percent of one of the hottest bands in the country at the moment is missing. We have no idea where they are or what they’re doing. They really could be lying in a ditch somewhere.”
“They’re not,” I said with conviction, but Gerry wasn’t convinced.
“You haven’t heard from him either, so how could you know?”
I couldn’t explain it. There was just something in my gut that said Jared was fine. I wasn’t delusional. I knew Jared and I weren’t connected or anything. We weren’t soul mates, but I just knew he was okay. Physically at least.
“I just know.”
Gerry shook his head. “I’ve never heard of anything like this. How could we not know what the hell is going on there?”
“I’ll make a call to the hotel later, at least that way we’ll know if they’re still in New York.”
“Okay. I ‘ve tried the hospital, but they’re refusing to give me any information whatsoever,” Gerry lamented. He rubbed his hands on his thighs and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Do you think we need to go to the press with this?”
Making a snap decision about the article I’d been constructing an answer to, I reached for my computer screen and turned it toward him. “Too late. Someone beat us to it.”
Gerry’s eyes widened. I knew what he was reading. It was a big headline, printed in bold letters that lead “Caleb Larsen: The thorn in Destitute’s side?” The article went on to detail that Caleb was hospitalized and included pictures of Jared in and around the hospital.
“Fuck. What are we doing about this?”
“I was in the process of drafting our official response when you came inside.”
He rose from my visitor’s chair with a heavy sigh. “Better get back to it. That’s potentially a very fucking damaging piece.”
“I’ll do my best.” And actually do my job, now that he was done telling me things I already knew.
Gerry saluted me and left my office, but almost as soon as I pulled by keyboard closer to finish drafting my reply, my door opened again. Slid
ing my eyes to my next unexpected visitor, my irritable snaps disappeared when I saw Nick hovering in the doorway.
“Okay if I come in?”
He wasn’t the type to be hesitant, so the fact he was waiting for me to answer spoke volumes. Nick Masters respected me. When had that happened?
“Come on in,” I told him, motioning to the chair Gerry had vacated.
Nick dragged a hand through his pitch-black hair, shoving his hand in his pocket after shutting my office door. “Thanks. I’m sorry to drop by unannounced.”
“As long as you don’t make a habit of it.” I kept my tone light, wondering what he was here for. It was the first time Nick was visiting my office, and I had a feeling it wasn’t a social call. “What can I do for you?”
His sharp blue eyes pierced mine, searching them. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see the man hadn’t been sleeping well. Strange. I wouldn’t have thought anything could rattle Nick, never mind keep him awake at night.
“Are they okay?” he asked, none of his usual bravado in his voice. It was raw, genuine concern shining through.
“You haven’t heard from them?” I was surprised. I thought the guys were all really close. Jared asked me to bring them home, and I had, but I never considered that he wasn’t keeping them in the loop either. In fact, after putting in a call to the hotel, I’d been planning on calling them all into the office to discuss the Larsen brothers anyway, sure I would be able to get information from them.
Nick blew out a deep breath, shaking his head. “I was hoping you might know something about if they were okay.”
“I wish I could help you.” I really did. “But I don’t have any news on his condition.”
Nodding slowly, Nick angled himself toward the door. He wasn’t planning on hanging around, apparently. “Let me know if you hear anything?”
“I will, Nick. You have my word.”
He reached for the doorknob when the question that had been burning in my mind since that morning slipped out of my mouth. “What happened that night?” I clarified. “At the club.”
