by Jayne Blue
I bit my lip. “I know. And Gunn ... what you did ... it was ... well ... it was the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. It’s just ... I can’t owe you. And I can’t pay you back. Scotty took care of this. He had a life insurance policy. A good one. For his age, I don’t even know how he got it.”
“The club,” Gunn said.
“Right.” I held a hand up, not wanting him to finish. “The club will provide. You said that to my mother at Scotty’s funeral. And I told you I don’t blame you for what happened, but Scotty died doing club business. I can’t forget that.”
Gunn’s eyes dropped. “Do you know how many times I’ve wished it would have been me? Every day, Brenna. Every fucking day. If I could have traded places with him …”
“Don’t!” I put a hand on his arm. Gunn’s heat seared me and took my breath away. “But don’t you see? That’s why I can’t take this money from you. I’m sorry for what my parents said to you all those years ago, but they’re not wrong about all of it. I don’t want club money. Not like this.”
Anger flashed in Gunn’s eyes. “He’s off the wagon hard. And your mother’s off the wagon as far as staying away from him. It won’t end well, Brenna. If your mother can’t pull herself out of this cycle, I’ll be damned if I’ll stand by and let you get hurt by it. I keep my promises. I’ll protect you with my life if that’s what it takes.”
“I’m not your problem!” I didn’t like the rage coming out of me. Maybe it was this place. All the hurt and grief came bubbling up. Once I started, I didn’t think I could stop. Tears sprang and spilled down my cheeks.
“Brenna …” he came toward me.
“No!” I put my hands up and stepped back. If he touched me again, I wasn’t sure if I could handle it.
“Brenna.” He said it softer. “Let me take care of you. It’s what Scotty would want. It’s what …”
“You left me too!” I said, my throat thick and painful. “Seven years, Gunn. You’ve been here. Around. But you wouldn’t stop by. You didn’t call. You were just ... gone. I lost you both. I’ve been all alone!”
I hadn’t meant to say it. Part of me didn’t realize how deeply I felt it. But it was true. Ever since I could remember, Gunn had been a larger-than-life presence. Then, he was just gone. For so many years, I’d just felt grief and the cold shadow of his absence.
My words hurt him. He took a faltering step backward as if I’d gut punched him. Rage took over. Something rose up inside of me. Something I’d been pushing down for so long I couldn’t control it anymore. I lunged at him. I became a wild thing filled with hate and grief. Gunn was too quick for me though. He caught my wrists and held me away from him.
“You can’t just do this!” I screamed. “You can’t just swoop in and tell me you’re going to take care of me by writing a check. You don’t get to decide this by yourself. You left! You think threatening my father is protecting me? Losing Scotty ripped my life apart. And the only person I could share that with was you. You were the only person who really knew him.”
Gunn’s face contorted with his own grief. He kept his vice grip on my wrists. Finally, he let me go.
“Are you done?” he said. He shocked me by pulling a knife out of his boot. He flipped it and held it by the blade. He took my right hand and pressed his thumb into the palm, forcing it open. Then he smacked the handle into it, making me grip it tight.
“Gunn?”
He let me go and lifted his t-shirt, exposing his chest. I gasped. He was all rippling muscle and tanned skin. Swirling ink adorned him along with the silhouette of a wolf’s head over his heart.
“Take your best shot,” he said. “I deserve it. Because everything you just said is true.”
“Gunn …”
“Do you remember what happened at the fucking cemetery, Brenna? You were there. You were just a kid but you were right there.”
I blinked back more tears. “Gunn ... I’m …”
“She told me to go to hell. Your mother. Except I was already there. She told me to stay away from her and stay away from you and I’ve tried to figure out a way to honor that and honor what I promised your brother. That’s all true, but it’s also a fucking lie.”
“What?” I still held the knife, pointed straight at him the way Gunn had positioned it.
“Yeah. It’s a lie, Brenna. I stayed away because it hurt too damn much. I was a coward. Scotty was my brother too. And I failed him. I failed you both. That look in your eyes. It gutted me. You might as well just finish the job now.”
My fingers trembling, I dropped the knife to the ground. A moment. A heartbeat. I was right back there with him standing over my brother’s freshly dug grave. In a flash, I was here. This was now. Gunn wasn’t that young punk anymore. And I was no little girl.
He stood there with his shirt up, his chest still exposed. I spread my fingers and went to him. The air between us seemed charged with electricity. It spread through me, warming me, making me bold. I pressed my palms flat against Gunn’s chest. Heat raced through me, traveling down, turning my insides molten.
I traced the lines of his ink. Intricate. Bold. I wanted to see how far they went. Gunn’s chiseled pecs twitched beneath my touch. My eyes flicked up to his. His nostrils flared but he was like a marble statue, rooted to the ground. I traced the howling wolf’s head over his heart. It was part of him. It was who he was. I got braver. I pressed my lips to it, kissing just above Gunn’s nipple. His breath caught and he dropped his shirt. Grabbing me by the elbows, he pulled me away from him.
“Brenna …” he said, his voice a choked whisper. It was more than I could say. My own voice left me in a rush.
I wanted him. Desire flashed in his eyes and I could sense the heat coming off him lower down.
I knew then there was some kind of magic on that cliff high above the raging river below us. It enveloped me. Gunn wasn’t some young prospect trying to prove himself anymore. I wasn’t a kid. And my brother was gone.
Gunn crushed his lips to mine. My heart soared and I stepped outside my body for a beat. I felt him everywhere. From my fingertips to the roots of my hair, desire flooded through me as I reached up, sliding my hands around his shoulders. Gunn lifted me off my feet and his kiss brought me closer to the sky.
Chapter Eleven
Gunn
Her hair felt like silk as it would around my fingers. As her body pressed against mine, I felt the outline of her hard nipples, peaking with arousal. Brenna let out a tiny little sigh as my tongue explored her mouth. She tasted like honey.
“Gunn,” she whispered, drinking me in. She was like sin and heaven all wrapped up in one. I wanted to claim her, own her, make her mine. The urge took shape, slamming into me, driving out all reason.
Mine. Brenna was mine. With each heartbeat, it came more true. I was drowning in her.
Sly always told us this bluff was haunted by the spirits of past members. Nothing happened here without the eyes and hearts of the club looking down ... or up, as the case may be. So why the hell had I brought her here? Scotty had never been a full member, but it was as if his ghost rose up and slammed into my chest.
Gasping, I broke away from her and staggered back. My dick throbbed in protest. At that moment, I wanted Brenna Rose more than any other woman I’d ever known.
“Fuck,” I said, wiping the back of my hand over my mouth as if that could take away the craving I had for her.
Brenna’s eyes were hooded with lust. Her chest heaved and the tempting swell of her tits beneath that thin tank top nearly drove me out of my mind.
“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to get a hold of myself. The world was spinning. I stepped away from the edge of the cliff, half tempted to throw myself off it. Anything to drive the burning desire out of my head. This was Brenna. This was Scotty’s little sister. Even looking at her broke about every rule there was.
“Oh my God, Gunn, don’t. Don’t say that. Don’t be sorry. I can take anything from you but pity.”
Fuck. T
hat’s not what I felt. I was digging myself in deeper with every second. “No,” I said. “I just mean ... this isn’t ... we shouldn’t ... dammit. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
I didn’t mean a word of that. I clenched my fists so hard I knew I might draw blood. Shit, that’s exactly what I needed. A good brawl back at the clubhouse might help drive this need out of my brain for a little while. Because I didn’t know how I could stand this close to Brenna without taking what I wanted.
“Why did you?” she asked, taking a step toward me.
I tore a hand through my hair. “Because I wanted you to see. I wanted you to know.”
“Know what?” She smacked her hands against her thighs in an exasperated gesture.
“That I’m not what you think I am. This patch. My club. We’re not what your father thinks. We never have been.”
Brenna’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. Every instinct in me told me to take her in my arms and kiss them away. I couldn’t fucking think straight around her. I realized that had been happening to me from the second she walked into the Den and back into my life.
“Why do you care what my father thinks?”
“I care what you think,” I said, and it was the most honest thing I could tell her. “I helped you out with your tuition because I wanted to and because I can. It’s not dirty money, Brenna. It’s legit.”
She crossed her arms. The sun began to fade behind us. Orange bands crisscrossed the sky and cast an amber glow to Brenna’s dark hair. “It’s still too much. I still don’t want to owe you anything.”
I went to her. It was instinct. The second I touched her, the fire lit inside me all over again. A thundering pulse went straight to my cock. Fuck. She was sexy as hell and vulnerable. Her own desire flamed in her eyes.
“You don’t owe me a thing,” I said. “I don’t know how many times I’ve gotta say it. I took an oath. Scotty and I both did.”
“To protect me.” She said it like a dirty word. I knew she fought the same war within herself that I did. We weren’t just a guy and a girl standing on that bluff. There were so many things tangled between us.
“Yes,” I said. I hooked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her face until she met my eyes. Dammit. I could lose myself in hers. I tried so hard to make myself see her the way she was. Just a kid. Except she wasn’t. She was a gorgeous, strong, powerful, sexy-as-hell woman and she was standing right in front of me, turning my world upside down.
“You should probably take me home then,” she said.
“Yeah.” I smoothed my thumb over her cheekbone then pulled my hand away. “I don’t know if that’s the greatest idea, Brenna. Your old man’s on a rampage. I’ve seen him like this enough times to know what comes next. I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“Then I won’t go back to my mom’s house tonight,” she said. “But I live in the dorm, Gunn.”
I gritted my teeth. “And he knows exactly where that is too.”
“You think my dad is dumb enough to show up drunk on campus? I think you give him too much credit.”
She turned and started walking back to the bike. Fuck. It was a twenty-minute ride back. Having her pressed against me wouldn’t help my resolve to keep her at a distance.
“I think I know exactly who Tim Rose is,” I said. “I’ve got eyes on him, but I’d still feel a hell of a lot better if I kept eyes on you too.”
She turned, her eyes flashing with the same lust burning through me. I wanted to do a fuck lot more than keep eyes on her. She knew it. She felt it.
“You planning on camping outside my door?” Her little smile melted me.
“I can be more discreet than that. And it doesn’t have to be me. In fact, it’s probably better if I send a couple of probies. They know how to blend in, even there. And it’s only temporary. Just until I’m sure Tim’s cooled down. Probably just for tonight.”
“Fine,” Brenna said. She slid my helmet back on her head. I couldn’t help but laugh. The thing was huge on her and wobbled over her face. It made it impossible for her to pull off the indignation I know she felt. My heart cracked when I saw her smile.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s get you back.”
I mounted. Brenna climbed on behind me. Fuck me. Her thighs felt so good pressed against my ass. If I weren’t wearing leather, I’d be able to feel those sweet little nipples pebbled against my cotton t-shirt. I knew I’d better fill my mind with anything else ... rebuilding carburetors, numbers ... anything but the way Brenna’s arms felt around me. I revved the engine. Brenna gave out a little shriek of excitement as I let out the throttle and went downhill almost as fast as my Screamin’ Eagle Twin Cam would take us.
I’m not going to lie. I took the long way. I could tell myself it was for practical reasons. It was. The longer I kept Brenna away from the places Tim could find her, the better. But there was a hell of a lot more to it. I wasn’t ready to let this night end with her just yet.
I hugged the curves, loving the way Brenna tightened her grip around my waist. She trusted me with her life. It made me want to soar. The more miles we put between us and the bluff, Scotty’s ghost seemed to fade away. I couldn’t hide what I felt for Brenna from him. Naked lust. Pure and simple. Somehow, the guilt wasn’t as strong though. I couldn’t tell if that was good or bad.
I took the winding, rural roads around the largest cattle farms. The sun dipped below Mount Shasta and the shadows wrapped around us. It suited my mood. I didn’t want the bright glare of the sun shining down on my sins. I’d always felt freer in the dark. For as much of a bastard Tim Rose was, my own old man was worse. Lucky for me, he’d been in the ground for two years. I hadn’t seen or heard from him for more than five years before that. He disappeared from my life at the same time as Scotty had.
I could have ridden all night. Part of me wanted to. No matter what Brenna said, I hated the idea that Tim was still out there. Still causing trouble. I wanted to take her far away from Green Bluff and all the memories that chased us. I wanted to keep her all to myself. But my headlights caught the big green sign pointing toward the Harrington College campus. It was only one mile ahead.
I took the turn and slowed the bike to almost a crawl. Brenna shouted in my ear, but I already knew where I was going. She stiffened behind me as I pulled into the public lot across from her dorm and cut my engine.
I slid off first. Brenna pulled off my helmet and handed it to me. She didn’t protest when I put my hands on her hips and helped her off the bike. She wasn’t used to it. Her thighs would feel like rubber.
“How’d you know where to go?” She looked up at me.
“I make it my business to know this kind of thing,” I said, reaching for her. A lock of her hair had stuck to her face. I tucked it behind her ear. Her little tongue darted out, licking her lips as my fingers touched her skin. Fuck. I was a damn fool to think I could just pretend like nothing had happened between us. The only thing that might work is distance.
“Come on,” she said. “If you’re going to do this, you might as well do it all the way. You can walk me to my door.”
I scanned the street. At the end of the lot, a dark van was parked beneath a huge weeping willow. The headlights flashed and I raised a hand. That’d be Teague. Brenna had her back to him. Of course I told her I’d keep eyes on her, but I didn’t want it obvious. Hopefully, she knew better than to try and lose him.
I put a hand on the small of her back and led her across the street. I thought she might turn and say goodnight as we came to the double doors. Instead, she pulled out her ID and keyed us both in. We drew some eyes from students sitting in the lounge, but Brenna ignored them and let me follow her down the hall and up the stairs.
“This is me,” she said, stopping at room 202. She slid her card through the slot and opened the door.
I waited in the hallway. If she invited me in, I didn’t know if I had the willpower to just say goodnight. Brenna arched a brow as she stood in the d
oorway. It felt like she was trying to decide the same thing. Stay or go. In or out.
“Thanks, Gunn,” she said. “I really mean that.”
“So you’re done fighting me on the tuition bill?”
I got a genuine and easy smile out of her that lifted my heart. “For now,” she said. “But only for now.”
“I’ll take that as progress. But do me a favor. Stay away from your mom’s for a few days. I promise I won’t let Tim come near her. It’s going to be okay.”
Brenna’s face fell. “I wish it were that easy. I wish I could tell you this wasn’t her pattern. I’ve been down this road too many times, Gunn. She will see him again. And he will hurt her again.”
I reached for her again, cupping my palm to her cheek. “But you don’t have to be a witness, Brenna. You’re ... a grown woman now ... more or less.”
I meant the last part to tease her. Her eyes flashed with anger for a second before she realized it. Damn. I liked that fire in her way too much.
“Glad you finally admitted it, Gunn. I’ll take that as progress.”
“Yeah, well, that still doesn’t mean I want you hanging around the Den.”
“In another two weeks, you won’t have a say in it.”
“What do you mean?”
Brenna took her little leather pouch back out of her purse, the one where she kept her student ID. She waved it at me. “It’s almost my birthday. I’ll be legal.” There was a twinkle in her eye that told me she was teasing me now.
I got bold. Leaning down, I put a soft kiss on her lips. “Happy birthday, tag-along. Be safe.”
An electric spark flashed between us. I felt that now familiar tightness in my jeans when Brenna was around. It would be so easy. I could just sweep her in my arms and stumble back into the bedroom with her. Dammit. I wanted to see that flash in her eyes when I did the things to her I knew we both wanted.
Once again, the ghosts were with me today. Or maybe it was just Sly and bad timing. But my phone vibrated in my back pocket followed by my prez’s ringtone. It could only mean one thing. Club business and it was time for me to go.
