Taking the Lead: Lessons From a Life in Motion

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Taking the Lead: Lessons From a Life in Motion Page 16

by Derek Hough


  I was doing a dance number and I wasn’t happy with how it was turning out. The old perfectionist in me came out; I was frustrated and angry with myself for messing it up.

  The director came up to me and said, “Derek, calm down. We’re going to do at least twelve takes of this to get the camera angles.”

  Oh.

  I had to keep reminding myself of this: we’re going to do it a gazillion more times, and then they’re going to cut up and weave together the best pieces. I also had to get into a different frame of mind about how I wanted to convey this character. In live theater or on the ballroom floor, it’s all about projecting and being big, but in film, less is more. I had to learn to dial it down, which goes against every fiber of my being. But seeing myself on the screen, I understand why that needed to happen. The smallest nuance is captured.

  Another big new venture for me is my tour with my sister Julianne. It kicked off five days after the spring 2014 DWTS season wrapped up. Julianne and I were both at a place in our lives where we felt like something was missing. We knew that doing a live show together would force us to grow and challenge our stamina, endurance, and creativity. It was daunting and terrifying, but all the good stuff in my life has started for me with complete terror. Once I convinced myself, convincing my sister was easy.

  We thought at first we would do a live show in Las Vegas and the Venetian wanted us to put it on after Faith Hill and Tim McGraw checked out. But the more we pondered the idea, the more we realized that we didn’t want people to come see us. We wanted to go see them. We wanted to go into their towns and cities and reach them. We weren’t sure what the demand would be, but we were inspired. Everything seemed to fall into place after that decision was made. We know how important moving is in our lives, so the name of the tour became Move. It has a double meaning. Everything in the world is moving, but there’s also the emotional side: what moves you? We talked a lot about how we could create a show where we have the audience interact with us. We wanted them to leave the theater feeling out of breath. We wanted the show to feel like a big party or a rock concert—no one sits this one out.

  Starting up rehearsals was interesting. Julianne hadn’t danced like this in four years and she was nervous. But it was like riding a bike. We picked up right where we left off. In our first rehearsals, she was going for it more than ever—she’s such a daredevil. Everything I did, she wanted to do and then some. That old competitive side comes out. For me it felt like the first season of DWTS, because that was really the first time we danced together. People asked us a lot about who would be calling the shots and creating the routines. Honestly, it’s been totally collaborative. We rarely disagree and we both land on similar things. If I say something isn’t good enough, then she has a suggestion on how to fix it. I love watching her finding her voice again in that area of creativity. The confidence is back (it was back within the first hour of rehearsals!).

  Jules and I have a lot of respect for each other. We happen to be brother and sister and have that chemistry and connection, but we both respect each other as performers and artists. We’re proud of each other. Not to embarrass her (okay, I will), there have been times in my life where I’m down and she’ll send me a text: “Listen, you’re the most important man in my life besides Dad. I don’t know anybody like you, you’re the most incredible human being.” That’s really humbling coming from your sister. When we dance we don’t really even talk to each other; we just kind of do it. She throws herself into movements and I’ll catch her and hold her. We have that connection, that unspoken language when we dance. We haven’t toured like this since that first DWTS tour when she convinced me to come along for the ride. There’s no person I’d rather be on the road with than my sister. So we’re on this adventure together.

  When you do so many different things, the plus is, you’re putting yourself out there. The minus is, you’re putting yourself out there. People ask me all the time if I like being stopped on the street by fans, and if it’s fun to be famous. I won’t lie: it can be a very good thing. Case in point: winning my Emmy for Outstanding Choreography in 2013. After the ceremony, I went to the Governor’s Ball to get the plaque put on the trophy. It’s pretty cool: They already have your name engraved, but you get to watch them put it on the base. Then we went to the HBO party and the AMC party, where all the Breaking Bad people were. Aaron Paul and Dean Norris were hanging out there. I was walking around with my trophy in hand and I felt pretty awkward. “No man,” Aaron told me. “Don’t feel stupid. This is the night you walk around with this thing. Any other night, it would be kind of weird and sad. But this night, you hold it high!” It was a cool night. We danced full-out. Normally when I go out, I don’t dance but I thought, Whatever, I’m going to dance my ass off and celebrate. Dean was a mad man on the dance floor. There was a moment when “We Are the Champions” came on and he took my Emmy and started fist-pumping with it. I know there are lots of pictures out there from the party, but they don’t do it justice! It was so much fun. And Dean was throwing down moves! He can dance. It was Breakdancing Bad!

  Beyond the partying, the moment had a great deal of meaning for me. I didn’t just win the Emmy for myself; I won it for the show, and all the people who work so hard and all the years we’ve been doing it. I am truly a huge fan of all the other nominees, but it felt great to bring one home for DWTS.

  If I’m ever tempted to let it get to my head, all I have to do is remember the first time I was recognized in public. I was with Jennie Garth, back in Season 3. She was way more famous than me (Derek Who?) and she was asked to the Eiffel Tower ceremony at the Paris Las Vegas hotel. They shut off half the strip and there were thousands of people outside the hotel lined up to see it. I was onstage supporting her, when I was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea. I knew instantly I had food poisoning from something I’d eaten earlier in the day. I knew if I didn’t get off the stage at that moment, I was going to throw up—and that would be the story on the evening news, not Jennie’s lighting!

  I jumped off the stage and just wanted to get back to my room where I could vomit in peace. As I was racing through the hotel lobby, a few people stopped me. “Aren’t you Derek Hough from Dancing with the Stars?” I was trying to be polite, but I just kept eyeing garbage cans in case I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  “Yeah, thanks,” I said. I signed a few autographs and tried to push my way to the elevators.

  “Wait! Derek! Can I get you to sign this?” More people started coming at me. I swear, I had to hold my breath so I wouldn’t hurl! When I finally got upstairs, I threw up thirty-two times. I was deathly ill. But somewhere, in that haze of hellish food poisoning, it hit me: This is pretty cool! People know who I am! But I’ve tried my hardest not to let that change me. I’m kind of a free spirit; what you see is what you get. Inside is still that crazy little boy who liked to bounce off his living room walls.

  Which brings me to my very last leading lesson for you: Live now. Truthfully, it’s something I struggle with every day. Being a choreographer, I need to constantly envision the future—what a routine might look like before it’s ever danced. You see a blank dance floor; I see bodies moving across it in an intricately woven series of moves. I suppose this is a good thing for a guy who competes on Dancing with the Stars, but it’s not such a good thing for my well-being. That “forward thinking” began to bleed into my everyday life as well, and for a long time, I would find myself in a constant state of worry about the future. I was anxious and relatively unhappy considering all my successes, and I didn’t know why. The day would fly by and I wouldn’t even remember what I did, because I was just going through the motions. Then it dawned on me: I wasn’t in the moment. It’s good to have goals for the future and it’s good to learn from the past, but life is happening now. You cannot let it rush by you unseized or unacknowledged. You have to make a real, conscious effort to be in the present and not let your thoughts drift to other places and times. Your mind is an instrument, a tool. It is
there to be used for specific tasks, and when the task is completed, you lay it down.

  This is a tough thing for me. I’m an overthinker. Many of us are. My mind gets racing a thousand miles a minute and I get anxious about my work, my career, or where I need to be in thirty minutes. Every day I need to shut down this machine and simply be still.

  Be aware of your breathing, really feel your breath going in, going out. Be aware of the feeling of the cloth on your shirt. Be aware of the grip on the steering wheel. Tell yourself—out loud—that the only thing that truly exists right now is this exact moment, and enjoy it, swim in it. Someone once said that your mind is like a raging river that’s full of debris, and when you’re floating in this river, you reach out and try to grab the branches and rocks. But what if you could climb onto the bank and watch the river? Suddenly you’re in a calm place.

  Maybe it sounds like a cliché to say, “Stop and smell the roses,” so I’ll tell you this instead: “Stop and watch the sunset.” Just the other night, driving home in L.A., I was struck by how beautiful the sky was—a dark blue canvas painted with strokes of bright orange and red. It was truly one of the most glorious sunsets I’d ever seen. I was stuck in traffic, worrying about one thing or another, and I just gazed out the window and drank it in. I let it fill my soul and inspire me. The world stopped revolving for just that split second, and my mind was still and calm.

  And to think, I could have missed it.

  * * *

  REFLECTING ON DEREK

  “While working with Derek, Meryl and I learned some really great steps and combinations of steps that we could use in our Olympic short dance. He sent us in a great direction for when we needed to figure out where we wanted to take the program. Beyond the amazing ballroom steps that we worked on with Derek, I think we learned a lot about how to show our love of dance through our movements by watching Derek. His zest for life really comes through when he dances, and that was something we wanted to capture as well. Derek helped us win the Olympic gold medal by helping to set us up with an Olympic gold medal–worthy short dance, and by being a great inspiration for how to show our passion through our movements.”

  —CHARLIE WHITE

  * * *

  PHOTO SECTION

  Chubby!

  Holy sombrero! If anyone has seen this hat, please return it to me immediately. I need it back!

  My first encounter with a drum—I was already drawn to a good beat!

  We were always an outdoor kind of family.

  Our family in Temple Square in Salt Lake City.

  My karate class—one of the many activities that I hated going to and ended up loving.

  My dance partner Autumn and I in 1997 standing proudly with one of our many trophies.

  Winning first place in the Juniors age group at Blackpool in 1998 with Leanne Noble. My first big win!

  Jade and me. Puppy love!

  Goofing off with the Center Stage gang and my partner Autumn DelGrosso.

  Me and my mom—check out those biceps . . . or lack thereof !

  Sporting my Dallas Cowboys gear. Little did I know that one day I’d be dancing alongside Emmitt Smith!

  Hanging with Jules in the desert—my love of being outdoors started early.

  Ballas family portrait from 2000—Julianne and I were always included and made to feel like part of the family.

  I had just climbed the Grand Teton Mountains in Wyoming. Don’t look down!

  All smiles at my sister Marabeth’s wedding.

  The Hough sibs partying at my sister Katherine’s wedding.

  Dad’s got his wild and crazy side, too. This is where I got it from!

  My niece Arianna and me: I love being Uncle D.

  Turkey Day fun with my sisters.

  Moments before he took me up skydiving, this dude’s chute failed and he almost died. The scary part is not the actual jump—it’s the seconds before it, the anticipation. That’s the slap in the face.

  Swimming with sharks at night in Bora Bora.

  There’s no business like snow business. . . .

  I was so proud that I could help Ricki learn to love what she saw in the mirror.

  Backstage with partner and Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson during DWTS: All-Stars.

  Me, Meryl, and Charlie. I had never choreographed on ice before—which made me want to do it even more.

  With Amy Purdy in Sochi, Russia, at the 2014 Paralympic Games. It was a few days before our first live dance on DWTS, and we rehearsed whenever and wherever we could!

  Kellie Pickler was always a lot stronger than she thought.

  If I don’t know how I’m going to choreograph a dance, I break it down piece by piece until it takes shape. Here, I’m studying a rotating room for a gravity-defying “Macy’s Stars of Dance” number.

  Nothing’s going to stop Jules! Not even an injured foot on the first day of rehearsal for our Move tour.

  Hanging out with Julianne. She’s more than just my sister—she’s one of my best friends.

  Five, count ‘em, five Mirror Balls. Sometimes the light from the window hits them just right and my office turns into Studio 54.

  Oh yeah! We are the champions!!

  Winning my first Mirror Ball—Mom couldn’t help crying. Loved that moment.

  As a kid, water terrified me. Today doing something that scares me reminds me that I’m alive.

  As a kid, I hated ballet and used to cut classes all the time. But Misty Copeland changed my opinion when I choreographed her. She’s so strong that she makes me look like a wimp!

  The quiet before the show.

  Sometimes you just have to stop everything, take it all in, and let your mind rest. Here I am, hiking with my dog, Romie, and checking out the view of Runyon Canyon.

  Who, me? An Emmy winner? One of the proudest and most exciting moments of my career.

  ASK DEREK:

  Q&A

  PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS asking me questions. I get tons on Facebook and Twitter, and people even stop me on the street. The questions are not just about dance; I get everything from “How do I lose 50 pounds?” to “You’re great at getting your partners to listen to you. How do I get my husband to do the same?” So when I put out the word that I was seeking questions for my book, I was flooded with tons of great ones. I couldn’t possibly answer them all, but I did my best to give you a good assortment.

  DANCING

  * * *

  Are there ever times when you feel like you don’t love (or even like) dancing? If so, what do you do to regain your joy for it?

  There are definitely times—not that I don’t like dancing—but when I reach a point when I don’t feel challenged by it. The steps are overly simple, or the music is boring, and I definitely get into a place of not enjoying it. These are the times when dancing feels more like a job than something I love. When that happens, I have to step away from it. If I’m getting tired of dancing or choreographing, I’ll go to a concert and rock out, or jump on a wakeboard. I take myself as far away from it as I can. Then when I come back to it, it’s like dancing for the first time.

  Can you recommend a dance style for beginners with two left feet?

  A good place to start is a cha-cha. It’s got a very defined rhythm—you can’t go wrong with it. But here’s the thing: you’re going to pick up the dances you enjoy quicker. So try lots of different styles and see what feels right to you. What kind of music do you like? Motivate yourself!

  If you could dance with anyone on the planet—living or dead—who would you choose to do a duet with and why?

  Honestly, I think it’s evolved for me. When I was younger, Michael Jackson would have been the ultimate duet. He blew me away. Now, after seeing so many movies, I have to say I would like a trio: Fred Astaire on the drums, Gene Kelly on the taps, and me filling in the gaps.

  What would you share with a dance student to help her get rid of self-doubt or performance anxiety?

  Take the pressure off yourself. You’re creating a story th
at hasn’t even happened: you messing up or the audience laughing. Get rid of it. Envision enjoying it and the audience loving it. Create a different image and put yourself in a better place. Enjoy it. It sounds like a cliché to say, “Go out there and have fun,” but it’s true. Whenever you feel that anxiety, catch it, realize what you are doing, then rewrite the story. Think of three things you are grateful for in that moment and go out there and embrace the dance.

 

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