by Harper Bliss
An idea dawned on Steph. She had nothing left to lose. “I can find out.”
“How do you mean?” Juliette asked.
“All this newspaper business has limited my ability to approach people. This Séverine woman isn’t going to come anywhere near me. But I think that, if played right, I can get Sybille to open up to me.”
Juliette’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Let’s just leave Sybille behind us. She can’t hurt us anymore. She’s done her worst. We have eight months until the elections. We need to look ahead now.”
“I understand why you would feel that way,” Steph said, “but you can’t be sure.” She also felt rather in the mood for a self-destructive, degrading mission. Steph believed she loathed Sybille infinitely more than Juliette did, for she had taken much more from her. “For all we know, she can give an in-depth interview to that rag a month before the elections, claiming to have found out all sorts of stuff about Dominique during pillow talk with one of the partners of Barbier & Cyr.”
“What do you propose?” Claire’s voice shot up a little. A clear sign she was interested in what Steph had to say.
“Just let me do my thing. I’ll take care of Sybille once and for all.”
Juliette sat shaking her head. “For the record, I’m not signing off on this.”
“Jules, trust us. Trust me.” Was Steph really begging for her boss’s approval to take a shot at seducing Sybille? This was not why she had come into the office this morning. But she needed to make amends. Make things right with Claire and Juliette as well as protect Dominique. She also believed that Sybille had a clear weakness and, although she would hate herself for exploiting it, already, Steph knew she no longer had a choice.
“If you’re asking me to trust you on this, I need you to do something for me as well.”
Steph sighed, because she knew what Juliette was getting at. “Fine. I’ll call her myself. Just give me a few more days.”
“By the end of the week?”
Steph bowed her head, locking her eyes on Juliette’s as she looked back up. “I promise.”
Claire didn’t seem particularly interested in who or what they were referring to. Steph had seen from the instant she walked into Juliette’s office that her head was not fully in the game.
“Now, which clients should I take over from your overcharged shoulders? As you know, I have no personal life to attend to, and I intend to make up for lost time.”
“Nadia’s going to be so happy you’re back.” Juliette leaned against the backrest of her chair.
“Anything for Nadz.” Steph shot Juliette a quick wink before looking at Claire. “How about your better half, Claire? Will she be relieved as well?”
“Who knows?” Steph noticed how she gripped the armrests of her chair a bit more tightly. “I think we’ve sort of gone on a break.” Her knuckles were on the verge of turning white. “But no time to dwell. I have work to do.”
“Come on, Claire. We’re your best friends. Don’t shut us out.” Juliette leaned over her desk.
“What can I say?” Claire’s voice trembled. “It’s not the same as it was before. Everything has changed. I’m not even sure I still want to be with her.”
CLAIRE
Claire was surprised by the words tumbling from her mouth. But now that she’d said them, a short surge of relief washed over her. She hadn’t shared her doubts with anyone. She’d been too afraid that voicing them would make it all too real to keep on ignoring.
“Seriously?” Steph asked, her tone all innocent, although they both knew Steph’s questions were never really innocent. At least, if anyone could suss Sybille out once and for all, it would be her. Although Claire wasn’t sure she wanted their company to go in that direction, but perhaps that decision had been made for her the day they had decided to take on politicians as clients. Steph swivelled her chair so she could fully face Claire.
A huge sense of deflation came over Claire. “I just… I can’t… the spark is gone. After Inez, the thought of them together, of Margot fucking her and having all these feelings for her again, it has destroyed so much.” She held up her hands. “And please, spare me the but-you-love-each-other speeches. We were all wrong to think Margot and I were made for each other. That we could just fall into bed and everything would be all right. It doesn’t work that way. Not in my head anyway.”
“Oh shit. I’m so sorry for you.” Steph shuffled her chair closer and put her hands on Claire’s knees.
“What do you mean you’re on a break? Is it over?” Juliette had pushed herself up and walked from behind her desk. Claire knew this display of support would break her more than anything. As long as she held on, she’d keep it together. Now, with Steph’s hands on her and Jules swiftly approaching, every wall inside of her started to crumble.
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “At the moment, it doesn’t look as though we have many other options. I can barely be in the same room as her. I just—” Juliette lay a hand on Claire’s shoulder. “I feel so betrayed. I gave so much of myself to her, so easily, because she had that effect on me. And it was glorious. When she looked at me, I felt the love. I felt I had won the women lottery. A woman like that. Smart. Trustworthy. Earnest. Kinky. I don’t see any of that anymore now. It’s all gone. The magic has disappeared. Inez took it from us.”
“You’re not in love with her anymore.” Steph tilted her head. “You can’t beat yourself up about that. Not after all that has happened.”
“It’s just that… I had a glimpse of how it could be.” Tightness in her chest again. “It had been so, so long since I felt that way. And I find it very hard to let go of the thought that there might be more in this for us, if only I could get over that bitch Inez returning, stealing my woman.” Claire let go of her restraint and gripped Steph’s hands. “A woman like Margot doesn’t come along very often and I feel as though I owe it to her, and myself, to give her another chance.”
“That’s what you’ve been doing, though.” Juliette squatted next to her. “For the past weeks, you’ve given the whole thing another go.”
“I know. And it’s not working.” She took a deep breath. “As much as I want it to work, I can’t force it to by sheer will power.”
“Oh, Claire.” Juliette squeezed her arm.
“And now we’re on a break. I think.” She managed a small, bitter chuckle. “The other night, I basically told her that I wanted to get even. That I wanted to sleep with someone else. You can imagine how that went down. And I’m not even interested in being with someone else. Not one bit. I just said it to spite her. To break through that silence she wraps herself in. And when she walked out the door, I felt like a piece of me was walking out with her.” Another sigh. “And now it’s all fucked.”
A knock on the door broke their little, intimate tableau of friendship and heartbreak.
“Not now, Véro,” Juliette said in a loud voice. “I’ll be out in a few.”
Véro ignored Juliette’s words and opened the door to a split. “I’m sorry, Juliette. It’s an emergency. It’s your brother.”
“My brother?” Juliette shot up.
Claire had a hunch the news wouldn’t be good.
“Is he on the phone?” Juliette asked.
“No. He’s here.”
“Jesus.” Juliette sought support against the edge of her desk. Claire got up and stood next to her. She knew all about Juliette’s family history, which, for the better part of the past twenty-five years, might as well not have included her.
“Shall I show him in?” Véro asked.
“Yes.” Claire witnessed Juliette’s transformation. She had only momentarily been shaken, but already she was straightening her posture, digging deep to find more inner strength.
“We’ll leave you to it,” Steph said.
“Okay.” Juliette nodded but grabbed Claire by the wrist. Steph understood. She walked past Véro out of the door.
“What does that asshole want?” Juliette said as V�
�ro turned to show François in.
“Whatever it is, I’m here.” Claire took Juliette’s hand in hers. François Barbier turning up unannounced at Barbier & Cyr could realistically only mean one thing. A Barbier family emergency.
JULIETTE
Juliette hadn’t spoken to her brother in many years. As far as she was concerned, he was just like her parents: ignorant, self-centred, and unable to see past his own bigoted view points. She was certain that, during the anti-gay rallies so many French people felt they needed to attend to fight for values that were outdated as much as they were short-sighted, he was on the frontline. He probably voted ANF. But she could only guess, because he’d stopped being her brother in spirit the day he had failed to stand up for her when she had come out.
“Salut,” he said when he entered Juliette’s office. He was dressed in a dark grey, tailored suit, a crisp white shirt and a navy tie. He was a striking man. Tall, with blue eyes, a square jaw and a full head of dark grey-speckled hair. A shiny exterior for a despicable man. He stretched out his arm, offering his hand for Juliette to shake.
With a huff, Juliette took it and squeezed it firmly.
“Sorry to disturb you at work, Juliette.” He scanned the office quickly. “Can we sit for a bit?”
“Just say what you’ve come to say. No need for pomp and circumstance.” His presence grated on Juliette’s nerves. For twenty-five years she had done her utmost to waste as few thoughts as possible on her family, and how they had shunned her for being gay, but nevertheless, thoughts crept in. She was always a little on edge when they left Nadia’s parents’ house, well aware of the undercurrent of jealousy clouding her feelings, because she had no home to go to. She had no parents to introduce her fiancée to. Even her own brother, only a few years older than she, didn’t want anything to do with her. At least her parents had the ‘excuse’ of belonging to a different generation, but what did François have except a bunch of preconceived notions he was too stupid to reassess, even for his own sister? If he didn’t look like her so much, Juliette would have sworn he wasn’t really her sibling.
“Come on, Jules. Don’t be like that.” He shuffled from one leg to the other. “It’s dad. He’s in hospital. He had a heart attack. Probably going in for surgery as we speak. I thought you should know.”
“You could have called.” Juliette had always wondered what she would feel if she were to learn that her father had fallen ill. Relief? Or sadness? What was happening inside of her now was her heart turning to stone—the exact same way it had done years ago when her father had told her in no uncertain terms how he felt about ‘homosexuals’.
“Sure. And would you have taken my call? Should I have left a message with your assistant, Juliette? About our father fighting for his life?”
“I understand you may be upset,” Juliette continued with iciness in her voice. “But he’s been dead to me a long time. Sorry you wasted your time.”
“Merde, Juliette. Come on. There’s a time and place for this.”
“Okay. Fine. Thanks for letting me know.” Juliette felt rage build inside of her. If there was any sadness brewing somewhere in her gut, it was instantly obliterated by the fury she’d been able to cultivate for her family for long years.
“Do you think you might want to go see him?” François seemed to have softened a bit. Or perhaps he was shaken by the news. Juliette had no idea how close they were.
“No.” She gripped Claire’s hand a bit tighter. “Why would I want to do that?”
“Because he’s your father,” François said matter-of-factly. “Your blood.”
“Blood doesn’t mean anything to me.” Bertrand Barbier had stopped being her father the moment he’d said that she should never expect him to welcome any ‘woman friends’ into his house. “Claire is my family. And Nadia, my fiancée. That’s right, mon frère, I got engaged. To a woman.” She showed him her ringed finger ostentatiously. “How does that make you feel?”
“Jesus, Juliette. I’m happy for you, of course, but my father—our father—is having open heart surgery at the moment. Have some respect.”
“Respect?” Juliette let go of Claire’s hand and started walking to the chair behind her desk. “I think you’d better go now, François. I have nothing left to say.”
François held up his hands. “Fine. He’s at the University Hospital in Lille if you change your mind.”
Juliette didn’t watch him leave, instead she stared out of the window. She could catch the corner of the Arc de Triomphe from it. A fact her dad, who always attached too much importance to the wrong things, would undoubtedly have been proud of, if he’d had a chance to know.
“Jesus, Jules.” Claire came to stand next to her. “Are you all right?”
“You know the deal, Claire. I had to cut all of them out of my heart a long time ago in order to keep a modicum of self-respect.”
“I know. I know.” Someone like Claire, who’d always had the unwavering support of her, it had to be said, slightly dysfunctional family, could never understand what it was like to be ignored the way Juliette had been. Her family had already been in ruins when she’d told them. After the divorce, her mother had moved to Nantes and met some low-life dressed in an expensive suit, while her father had remained single in the north. Bitter, arrogant, and, despite his own marriage falling apart, unrelenting in his views on what constituted the ideal family.
“Fuck. That bastard.” Juliette hated that somewhere on a deeply subconscious level the news did affect her. “I’d better call Nadz.”
“If you need anything at all, let me know.”
“We need to finish the conversation we were having before François arrived.” Juliette glanced at Claire.
“Perhaps, but not now, Jules.” Claire came closer and touched her shoulder. “Talk to Nadia. Take the day if you need to.”
“I don’t need to take time off because—”
“I know, but just in case.” Claire cut her off. “Steph is back now. And…” She paused. Here it comes, Juliette thought. “You only have one father.”
“And he only has one daughter.” Juliette had gotten so skilled at pushing away thoughts of her family.
“Maybe now that he’s in such bad shape, all he wants is to be forgiven for the mistakes he made.” Why could Claire not just let this go?
“Don’t preach to me about forgiveness. Please.” Juliette shook her head.
“Don’t hit below the belt.” Claire retreated her hand. “The two situations couldn’t be more different.”
“I’m sorry. I’m incredibly on edge.” Juliette had a lot of regrets already, she didn’t want hurting Claire to become one of them. “Come by tonight? Let’s not work late. I want to spend some time with my real family.”
“You got it.” Claire bent over and kissed Juliette on the head.
After Claire left, Juliette tried to call Nadia, but got no response.
NADIA
Nadia inwardly cursed. No. No. No. Was this really happening? Did she have any say at all in what happened at this hospital?
“Doctor Andres speaks very highly of her,” Leclerq, the board member who got on Nadia’s nerves most, said. “It should be a no-brainer for Doctor Dievart.”
“We do have a lot to offer,” Madame Beaumont, the only member Nadia could ever see herself having something close to a personal conversation with, chimed in. “This is Paris. Saint-Vincent is one of the most highly regarded hospitals in the area. I think we shouldn’t wait to offer her the post.” She looked at Nadia expectantly.
What was she supposed to say? My fiancée will never agree to this? Should she disclose what happened between them? Avoiding the neurosurgeon when she came on a one-day consultation was one thing, but pretending she didn’t exist when working in the same hospital was another matter entirely. Just as Nadia was about to start speaking, her mobile buzzed in her pocket. Thank goodness she’d remembered to put it on silent. Some of these board members still lived in the previous century and
heavily frowned upon modern day gadgets being brought into the meeting room.
Some days, quitting her job to become a mother actually sounded appealing. Or perhaps just quitting her job and being a lady of leisure.
“Should we not consider other candidates?” Nadia tried.
Beaumont pulled a strange face. “Why? Andres says she has expressed an interest. We have an open position as Chief of Neuro. It’s a no-brainer, really.” She chuckled uncomfortably at her own joke. “And, from what I’ve read about her, she has no family in Brussels. She’s free as a bird to come here.”
“I’ll make the necessary arrangements.” Nadia knew she couldn’t let her personal feelings come into play. Doctor Dievart was, in all respects, the best person for the job. If they could get her, they should accept her with both arms and legs. And besides, she’d had ‘the talk’ with Juliette. Set her straight. It shouldn’t be an issue. Yeah right.
Her phone buzzed again. As soon as someone else started talking, she peeked at it. Two missed calls from Juliette. How apt. This board meeting had only just started. Juliette would have to wait.
* * *
After the meeting, when Nadia sank into her office chair, she didn’t return Juliette’s call immediately. She didn’t want to hear the disappointment in her voice again. Besides, Nadia had e-mails to send. The first one to Doctor Marie Dievart in Brussels. Although the situation was, when it came to the details, hardly comparable, Nadia now knew exactly how Margot must have felt when she’d told her Inez would be joining them at Saint-Vincent.
Perhaps, now that Claire and Margot seemed to be on the fritz, Dievart and Margot could hit it off. Two surgeons together was perfect. Both obsessed with work so no time for drama. She’d need to talk to Juliette about that as well, check if Claire had said anything about her crumbling relationship with Margot.
She sighed, guessing that Juliette was probably just calling to say she’d be home late again tonight. Margot had another day off, perhaps she should invite the doctor over for a glass of vino or two, so she could vent about having to hire Dievart before she had to tell Jules.
