by Harper Bliss
Defeated, Dominique let her hands slip off the counter. The tears in her eyes hit Steph hard. They both knew she was right. That their love had to be sacrificed.
“I thought you were a fighter,” Dominique said meekly, her tone of voice not indicating any belief in her own statement. “I thought that, together, we could change things.”
“This is France, where tens of thousands of people waste a perfectly good Sunday on protesting against gay rights. Not some utopia where right-wing politicians can be openly gay and not get punished for it.”
“I have other skills. I don’t need to be a politician.” Dominique took another step back.
“But you do. Politics is your life. You want to make this country better, and for that, you put up with all the hypocrisy and misogyny and homophobia, and I admire you so much for that. You’re strong. You’ll get over this, too.” Steph pushed herself away from the counter. “In a few years, when you’re leading this country, I’ll just be a distant memory.”
“Don’t say that.” Dominique squared her shoulders, regaining some of her earlier feistiness.
“It’s true.” Did she really think Steph had made her decision lightly? That she had not considered all other options before crushing her own heart in the process? “In your heart, you know it’s true. You and I, we don’t belong together. It was nice while it lasted”—a deep sorrow crept up on Steph again—“but now it’s over. It needs to be.” Steph had trouble keeping her head up high. “If you didn’t believe that yourself, it wouldn’t have taken you all these weeks to come and see me.”
“What if we do, though, Stéphanie?” Dominique took advantage of the momentarily slacking of Steph’s spine and swooped in. “What if we do belong together?”
JULIETTE
“Hey.” Juliette had slept with Nadia’s belly pressed against her back all night. Not a position conducive for a good night’s sleep, but Juliette knew she wouldn’t have caught any winks either way. Now Nadia whispered in her ear, “Why don’t I take the day off as well?”
Juliette turned around in Nadia’s tight embrace and faced her. “Whatever gave you the idea I would take the day off?”
“Come on, babe. Don’t be like that,” Nadia said.
After Margot and Claire had left, Juliette had finished a bottle of red all on her own, while shrouding herself in an impenetrable cloud of silence. Yes, she had cried on Nadia’s shoulder, because, granted, it had all been a bit too much. What with being faced with François and the thought of her father with his chest splayed open on an operating table in a hospital in Lille, but Juliette had made a promise to herself a long time ago to not let herself dwell on any of her wretched family members’ physical or emotional problems. Why would she care? When she needed them to care about her, they hadn’t. As far as Juliette was concerned, this was a street blocked off long ago. All ties severed.
“I don’t even hate him anymore. I’m just indifferent.”
Nadia brushed a strand of hair away from Juliette’s face. “Let’s take the day off, either way. Steph is back, isn’t she?”
“She is, but I need to catch her up.” Juliette looked into Nadia’s dark eyes. The only family she had. Perhaps that was why she had changed her mind about getting married. Perhaps she did need to be tied to someone officially. “I promise to make more time for us soon, babe. How about a long weekend at the end of the month?”
“That’s a long weekend already. First of November, remember? Maybe we can make it extra long.”
“Maybe.” Juliette shuffled closer to Nadia under the covers. “We should go somewhere. Just you and me.”
“We should.” Nadia smiled, melting Juliette’s heart a little while doing so. But her smile soon faded, her face folding itself into a serious expression. Perhaps she was remembering the last time they had planned to go on a trip… and the welcome home party Juliette had thrown her.
”Perhaps not to Barcelona,” Juliette joked. Could they joke about this now that they were engaged? Judging by the look on Nadia’s face, apparently not. “I’m sorry.” Juliette pressed a kiss on Nadia’s nose.
“I didn’t want to say anything last night, Jules.” Nadia all but ignored Juliette’s apology. “But I need to tell you something.”
Oh shit. Not more bad, or shocking, or unwanted news. “Sure.” Juliette kept a brave face despite feeling very tender beneath the façade she was keeping up.
“There’s no easy way to say this.” Nadia cleared her throat and looked away briefly. “It’s highly likely that Dievart will be joining Saint-Vincent full-time.”
Juliette raised her eyebrows, too stunned to speak.
“It’s not a done deal yet, but the board is pushing me to hire her.” Nadia paused to scan Juliette’s face. “I just really need you to know that this will have no effect on us. She’s just another doctor to me.”
Juliette rolled on her back. “Jesus christ.” She hadn’t felt any signs of a hangover yet, but they suddenly seemed to be creeping up on her all at once. Dry throat. Pulsing headache. Stomach cramps. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Juliette closed her eyes, craving blackness, and the opportunity to pretend that none of this was actually happening.
“I’m sorry, babe.” Nadia knew better than to touch her now. Instead, she planted her hand just next to Juliette’s shoulder. “But as I said. It’s no big deal.”
“Oh well, as long as you say so.” Juliette couldn’t face a fight right now. And to think that, minutes ago, she’d been feeling guilty about Sybille. Her quid-pro-quo. If it hadn’t been for Dievart, maybe she’d have never slept with Sybille. It’s not as if she had actually wanted to. It’s not as if she’d derived the slightest ounce of pleasure from it.
“Look at me, Jules.” Nadia being bossy right now wasn’t going to help either. Did she think she could just spank it out of her again? Juliette refused to look at her. “This doesn’t mean anything.”
“Because you say it doesn’t? Because it’s all on me now to just ‘let it go’?”
“I know you feel like shit right now, babe. But I had to tell you.” Nadia planted her hand on the other side of Juliette’s chest. “I’m marrying you. Only you. Remember that.”
Juliette had no choice but to look Nadia straight in the face. Beautiful, dark-skinned Nadia with her thick eyebrows and luminous smile. She hated the fact that someone else had touched her, had given her pleasure. “I’d better get up.”
“Be late.” Nadia leaned in for a kiss, but Juliette turned her face away.
“That’s not going to work this time.”
“I wasn’t expecting it would.” The dejected look on Nadia’s face said otherwise.
“I just need a little time to come to grips with the news. Okay?” It sounded a little harsher than Juliette had wanted it to. “I know you can’t help it. I know the board is a pain in the ass. I know all the facts. Just… give me some time.”
“Of course.” Nadia pushed herself away from Juliette. “Let’s change the subject.”
Juliette glanced at her alarm clock. “I really should go.”
“Let’s take a longer holiday. Go somewhere exotic, like Thailand or Mexico.”
“Why the hell not?” Juliette could do with a break. She just needed to make sure Steph was fully back before she could commit. Then her phone, which she always kept on the night stand in case of an emergency, started buzzing. Instinctively, she reached for it, hoping it wasn’t more bad news. She could feel Nadia’s eyes bore into her back as she swiped to unlock. A message from an unknown number.
Papa’s surgery went well. He made it through the night. I know he doesn’t deserve anything he asks of you, but he’s been enquiring about you. Please, come see him. If just the one time. Give him some peace. Please. François.
How did he get her cell number? Perhaps that shouldn’t have been Juliette’s first thought, but the fact that it was, said a lot about Juliette’s feelings towards her ignorant, homophobic brother. Was he begging now? That was
so unlike François. And did they all suddenly need her forgiveness now?
“Work?” Nadia asked from behind her.
Juliette turned over and showed Nadia the message. Nadia read it and then just looked at her.
“What?” Juliette could feel a steely resolve start to form in her mind.
“I think you should.” Nadia found her eyes. “Go see him. He’s your father. No matter how much you despise him, you may regret it if you don’t.”
“Don’t you start as well.” Juliette knew it was irrational, but she felt ganged up on by her own fiancée, as though Nadia was siding with her bastard of a brother. The news about Dievart didn’t help. “Don’t you tell me that your bit on the side is moving to Paris and then advise me to go see my father. A man who has shoved me aside simply because I love you. Just shut the fuck up and keep your opinions to yourself.” Red mist. All too familiar. That always-returning feeling of being so misunderstood. “We’re getting married and he doesn’t even know you exist.” Do you know what that feels like? Juliette wanted to ask. With your parents who adore you and have given you everything? With the unconditional love they keep on bestowing on you? “Just leave me alone.” Juliette jumped out of bed, rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
EPISODE EIGHT
MARGOT
Were they all right now? Margot had no idea and she didn’t dare ask. She’d barely seen Claire since the night she’d tied her up, what with working a few graveyard shifts and being on call throughout the weekend. When it came down to it, romance always seemed to take a backseat to work. It was the only way to live as a doctor. While changing out of her scrubs, Margot locked eyes on the spot where she’d last seen Inez.
She could despise her all she wanted for screwing up her relationship with Claire, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t hate she harboured. Margot had loved Inez, and she had allowed herself to act like a fool because of her, but wasn’t that what love did? Render you temporarily insane? Margot was ready to forgive herself, and if Claire still couldn’t find it in her heart to recommit fully after their night together, she’d draw her conclusions. Margot was in the business of life and death, and if she had learned one thing from operating on people whose life hung in the balance, it was that life was too short to spend with people who didn’t appreciate you.
The locker room door burst open and Doctor Andres walked in. Whereas he was usually the type to just give her a solemn nod, today he had a huge grin plastered across his face.
“What’s with the smiley face?” Margot enquired.
“It’s not every day that a goddess amongst neurosurgeons signs a contract to join our hospital.” He hiked up his eyebrows in quick succession twice. “They could have made me Chief, and if it were anyone else, I’d probably be feeling resentful, but not now. I’m so excited to work with Doctor Dievart.”
“She’s that good, huh?” Andres’s ego wasn’t particularly more developed than other surgeons’, but that wasn’t saying much.
“And smoking.” His grin transformed into a leery smile.
“Oh jesus.” Margot just shook her head.
“Have you seen her?” How could an accomplished surgeon turn into a hormonal frat boy so quickly?
“Just…” Margot bent over the bench to tie her shoelace. “Don’t, Andres. This is a hospital. Show some respect.”
“Fine. I’m just sticking around a bit longer today. Nadia’s assistant confirmed that she should be here any minute. Thought I’d give her a bit of a welcoming committee.”
“You do that.” Margot rolled her eyes at her colleague, uninterested in hiding her disdain. “I’m out of here.”
“Have a lovely evening, Doctor de Hay,” Andres said, his voice all sweet and high.
In the medical profession, people skills were important, but Margot could have done with less collegial interaction at times. She exited the locker room, only to bump into Nadia and Saint-Vincent’s new star employee. Eat that, Andres. He was probably still biding his time, working out the best opportunity to hang out in the vicinity of Nadia’s office.
“Doctor de Hay.” It was not unusual for Nadia to refer to her in that way in a professional situation, but since they’d become such good friends, it felt odd. “Please meet Doctor Dievart, who will be joining us as Chief of Neuro as of next week.”
“Next week, huh?” Margot extended her hand. She’d met Dievart briefly, but that was before she knew she’d slept with Nadia. Poor Nadia. What this must do to her. Margot had nothing but sympathy for her friend.
“No use sitting around idly at home.” Dievart had a clear, crisp voice. Margot wouldn’t call her smoking the way Andres had, but she could see why Nadia, after a few bottles of wine, wouldn’t have refused her advances. Margot knew the type. The word predator came to mind. But she could be wrong. Either way, Margot had no interest in a woman like Marie Dievart. Too much fighting for top. Inadvertently, she thought of Claire, and how she’d made herself come while fucking Margot. Not the most appropriate thought to have when meeting a new colleague.
“Welcome to Saint-Vincent.” Margot shot Dievart her most welcoming smile. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in.” Small talk wasn’t exactly Margot’s strong suit either.
“Let’s grab a drink soon.” Dievart only now released her hand. Oh yes, definitely that sort of woman.
“Sure.” Margot had to resist the urge to wipe her palm on her trousers. Instead, she hid her hand in the pocket of her leather jacket.
“You ride?” Dievart nodded at the helmet cradled under Margot’s arm.
Obviously, she wanted to say. Behind Dievart’s back Nadia was making eyes at her. What? Should she be making more effort? “I do.” Margot didn’t really know how.
Then, Andres burst out of the locker room, and the fawning really began. Margot quickly said her goodbyes, and rode her bike to the gym.
* * *
After finishing a gruelling but satisfactory work-out, her muscles buzzing and her blood beating heavy in her veins, Margot noticed a missed call from Nadia on her phone. No doubt she was in need of processing. Margot might not be that highly skilled in the art of friendship, but she knew to call back straightaway.
“Can I come to yours?” Nadia cut straight to the chase. Typical. Not that Margot minded.
“Sure. I’ll be home in fifteen minutes.”
“Thanks.” Nadia, obviously not in the mood for small talk either, hung up.
As Margot exited the gym, her phone vibrated in her pocket again. Because it was second nature, she grabbed it with lightning speed, hoping it wasn’t the hospital. She’d worked almost non-stop the past four days, only going home for a few hours of much needed sleep, and she couldn’t deal with another emergency.
It was Claire.
“Hey stranger,” Claire said. “If I’m correct, tomorrow is your day off.”
“You are correct.” Margot felt the familiar zing of excitement that came with Claire’s voice in her ear.
“Then I’m asking for permission to corrupt you all night long.”
Margot giggled like a teenage girl. “What did you have in mind?” She prayed Claire wasn’t hoping to tie her up again. Margot had paid more than her dues.
“We’ll see. Yours or mine?” At least options were still open.
“I’m meeting Nadia at my place first. I can come over later.”
“You can’t come now?” Disappointment in Claire’s voice. “It’s so late already.”
“No. I promised Nadia.”
“Why don’t you meet Nadia at hers, then you’re only a few minutes away from my flat.”
“I can manage my own schedule. Thank you very much.”
“Fine.” An exasperated sigh at the other end of the line. “Then you probably shouldn’t bother coming over at all.”
“Seriously?” Who was that needy person on the phone with her? Or was this more punishment? “Claire, what’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just want to see you.”
“Wake me if I’m already asleep.”
“I intend to.” Margot injected more lightness into her tone. “Hey, I love you.”
“I know.”
Margot pocketed her phone and unlocked her bike. The ride to Saint-Germain-des-Prés was not far enough to unclog the cobwebs from her mind. A day packed with surgeries and then this.
* * *
“Someone’s got the hots for you,” Nadia said as soon as Margot let her into her flat.
“What are you talking about?” Margot asked.
Nadia made herself at home easily. A remnant from her extended stay a few months ago. “As soon as we shook off Andres, Dievart asked me some very pointed questions about you.”
“Such as?” Margot was more amused than intrigued.
“Is she ‘you know’? For starters.” Nadia chuckled. “I guess you give off that vibe.”
Margot rolled her eyes. She sat down opposite Nadia, scanning her face. “I take it that’s not why you wanted to talk tonight?”
“What did you think of her? I know you only met briefly, but your first impression?” Nadia twirled a strand of hair around her finger.
Margot shrugged. “Just another aggressive A-type personality. Hospitals are full of them.”
“Well, she’s coming after you. I don’t need a crystal ball to predict that.” Nadia relaxed a bit more, leaned back.
“She can try all she want. I’m not interested.”
“Are you all right? You seem a bit tense,” Nadia enquired.
Margot shook her head dismissively. “I just had a weird phone call with Claire. I need to go over to hers later.”
“Summoned?” Nadia just grinned. “I’m not keeping you, am I?”
