Maybe I should give Valerie a call, she can probably take my mind off all this. Help me realize what a bad idea all of this would be. That might do the trick.
I sigh and run my hands through my hair, she looks over at me concerned, but then turns her attention back to her boy. After the game. Jimmy and I head over and talk to the boys on the team and their coach. He asks if we would be interested in coming out to help at a couple of practices and we both jump at the chance. I would do anything to keep kids playing ball. The last thing I want is for it to become a dying sport. There is so much to love about it.
I take Shay and Ryder home with no incident this time. She just smiles over at me and thanks me for the ride with a small wave. I can tell she feels like I do and is hesitant to make this anything. I can tell the girl has so much on her plate, just like me. We would just make a mess of each other’s lives.
When I pull up at home, I reluctantly take out my phone and call Valerie. Not surprisingly she jumps at the chance to come over, just like I knew she would. It doesn't even take her twenty minutes to get to my house, and I don't waste any time.
We head up to my bedroom and she looks me in the eyes and says "I knew you would call me. Nobody knows you like I do Luke, nobody else will be okay with you playing games like I am." She smirks and takes off my pants. I don’t respond to her, because I don’t need to.
I want to be anywhere else but here, but I go with it. This was who I am. I'm not going to let a green-eyed beauty with an adorable little boy change me. I sigh and try to let Valerie erase any thoughts I have for a while.
Chapter Fifteen
Shay
After we got into the house, I helped Ryder into the bath, gave him a small snack, and put him to bed. He had been talking nonstop about the game and the guys coming. He was truly happy.
I hop in the shower ready to just relax for a bit when I hear the door open. I figure it's probably just my dad. I haven't heard from him in a couple of days, but I know he has been here because the beer cans strewn across the living room, don't lie.
I hear the bathroom door open, "I'm in here dad, I'll be out in a few." I holler. Just as the shower curtain is pulled back and Gunner appears.
"What are you doing here? Get out."
"I heard you and that guy were at the ballpark with Ryder like a perfect fucking family you little slut!" His words slurred. He gets into the shower and grabs my hair.
"Let go of me, please. don't do this." I cry out. I’m in a panic, but I don’t want him to see that, or things might get worse.
He flashes me an evil smirk.
"I told you, I do what I want with you when I want, and you’re mine Shay. Ain't nothing going to change that."
I start to scream, and he shoves his hand over my mouth. I close my eyes, hoping this will be over fast, and I can forget it ever happened. He unzips his pants, and I try to take myself anywhere else other than here.
He's so rough with me. Pushing my face against the shower as he slams himself into me. Thank goodness he is drunk because it's over just as soon as it started. He pulls his pants back up and grabs my arm. "Stay the fuck away from pretty boy, or I'll kill him and you and run away with my son."
I look at him terrified because I know what he's capable of doing. He stomps out the door. I sit down in the shower and cry.
I have to get my baby out of this place. I can't do that if I have some guy distracting me. I need to cut him off. Stop all of this before it even gets started. Luke has such a great life waiting out there for him. He is going to be a superstar, and he can't have some trashy teenage mom holding him back. All I do is cause problems for everyone around me, and I can't bring someone else into this life.
I get out of the shower and pull on my pajamas. Just ready to crawl into bed with my boy. I hear my dad’s car pull up, and I know this night isn't over for me yet. He stomps into the house.
"Why the fuck is this house such a mess?"
"I'm sorry I just got home from Ryder's t-ball game. I will clean it up first thing in the morning," I stammer.
"No, you will clean it up right fucking now, if you and that bastard wanna keep living here. You’re a freeloader and a lazy bitch." He takes a swing at me and stalks off to his room.
I bite back the tears and pull myself together. That wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. I quickly and quietly pick up the trash around the house and head to bed. This has been a long day, and I'm ready to get some rest.
I wake up the next morning sore all over. It was a bad night, I've had worse, but last night was pretty bad. Ryder is still asleep, so I hop up to make him some breakfast. I notice dad still passed out, so I decide to make him some too. I scramble up some eggs, brown some sausage, and pop some frozen waffles into the toaster. Not the best breakfast, but Ry will be thrilled. Frozen waffles are his favorite, and I splurged last time and got some that look like spider webs. Ryder wakes up just as the last waffle pops out of the toaster.
"Thanks, mommy, this looks yummy." He says with a smile.
That smile makes everything I go through worth it and will always be what gets me through each and every day. One day, I will tell him how he saved me, how he kept his mama alive all these years. Because that's the truth, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for this boy, I wouldn't have anything else to live for if I didn't have him.
Chapter Sixteen
Luke
I wake up the next morning and roll over to see Valerie in my bed once again. I groan and rub my hand over my face.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? Oh yeah, I'm trying to save Shay from guys like me and keep my baseball career alive.
Valerie looks up and smiles. "Hey baby, let me give you an even better wake up call."
She slides under the sheet and takes me in her mouth. I stare at the ceiling thinking about Shay. I cannot get that girl off my mind. And now I'm afraid I never will. What has she done to me? I can't even get a blow job without thinking about her. She is ruining me.
I shove Valerie off and tell her it's time for her to go. "I'm not into this, so you should just leave."
She gathers up her stuff and shoots daggers at me with her eyes and stomps out of the room. I sigh and pick up my phone, I'm hoping Shay has texted me and when I see she didn't, I can't even hide my disappointment. What has this girl done to me? I head downstairs to grab some breakfast and see Rosa giving me a dirty look from behind the kitchen island. "What? I needed to get something off my mind."
"Luke, I did not raise you to be like that. You need to get some manners and start treating women as equals. Even if they are the devil in disguise." I laugh at her and sit down to my pancakes. Rosa makes the best pancakes. And she will always baby me even when she's mad at me.
"I guess you heard my parents will be home in a couple of days.
"Yes, I did, and don't worry, they won't stay long. They never do."
"Yeah, they only stay long enough to tell me how much of a disappointment I am and then leave again."
“Luke, you could never be a disappointment, they might not see it that way, but I do. I’ve watched you grow up; I’ve seen what kind of man you’ve become, and I’m proud.” She sighs, hugs me, and walks out of the kitchen.
I decide to call Jimmy and what he’s doing. He asks if I want to go for a drive, and I think that sounds like a perfect idea. When he pulls up, he looks at me with questions in his eyes.
"What's up bro, you sounded discouraged on the phone."
"I can't get Shay out of my head, I have way too much going on in my life, and she has even more than I do, it wouldn't be fair for me to try and drag her down."
"Man, you are looking into this too much. Maybe she can just be a friend, and that boy is amazing. He seems like he could use some good male role models in his life."
"I agree, but I'm afraid I'll get into deep."
"Haven't you ever heard the phrase, what's meant to be will always find a way. That's what is going to happen in this situation, regardless if you w
ant to admit it or not if there is something there, it’s bound to happen no matter how hard you resist."
I look over at him and then out the window, I feel like he might be on to something. But maybe I should live in denial for a little bit longer. I like it there.
I don't mention Valerie to him because I know he won't understand, and I know he will just be disappointed in me. I don't feel good about what happened. I just feel dirty.
Jimmy makes his way back to my house. Before I get out, he says, "Hey Luke, if you like the girl and you like her kid, what do you have to lose? Just make sure she knows your plans for the future and what that entails. Everything will work out; I think she would be good for you."
He gives me something that looks like a sad smile and maybe a little bit of regret in the words he says, but it’s gone just as soon as I notice it.
"Thanks, man," I say as I turn and head towards the house.
My phone starts ringing as soon as I walk in the door. It's Valerie. I really don't feel like talking to her right now, so I toss the phone on the table and hop in my truck. I'm going to take a ride to the diner and see if a certain green-eyed beauty is working tonight.
I hit the parking lot of the diner and can see her through the big window. She would be hard to miss even if you weren’t looking for her. Her thick, dark-brown hair is piled on top of her head, strands of her hair are falling out and framing her face. She has a pencil stuck in the top of the bun, and an apron tied around her tiny little waist. I could sit here in the truck and watch her all night, but I really want the opportunity to talk to her.
I hop out and step inside. Emily greets me at the door. "Hey, handsome, long time no see. Did you come here to see my girl?" She grins wide with a sparkle in her eye.
I laugh and say, "Something like that." She leads me towards a table in Shay's section.
A few minutes later, Shay comes over to take my order. "Hey, Luke, what are you doing out his way?"
"I wanted to come and get some of the best food in town and see a certain girl I know." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. I want to ask her about it, but I think better of it since she's at work. I tell her I will take a soda, and she turns to go grab it.
"Can you sit for a few?"
"Oh, I don't know about that."
"Yes, she can," Emily says, coming from nowhere.
She turns a light shade of pink and says, "Okay, a few minutes won't hurt anything."
I smile and ask her how her day is going. She looks shocked and pauses for a beat. "Honestly, no one has ever asked me that before, so I'm a little thrown off guard. I only had to work one job today, so I guess today is a good day." She smiles briefly.
I look into her eyes, and all I see is sadness, she can't fool me, because I carry that same sadness in my eyes.
"I wish I believed you, but I'll take what I can get," I say with a smirk. She glances out the window for a second and hops out of the booth.
"I really have to get back to work. This was a mistake." She runs off.
I glance out the window and notice a familiar face behind the wheel of a car. He jerks out of the parking lot, tires squealing.
I get up to find Shay. "She ran towards the back, if you can get her to leave early, please take her - He knows what time she is supposed to be off tonight." Emily cries, panicked.
Chapter Seventeen
Shay
I lean my back against the kitchen door, trying to catch my breath. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew Gunner would find out somehow, he always does. He has people watching me. He's always watching me. I'm just going to have to come out and warn Luke. He won't believe me otherwise. I need to tell him everything, so maybe he will leave me alone. We will never work; I will never be the typical girl. I can never be the kind of girl he needs. I hear a knock on the kitchen door, and I feel my heart fall to my stomach.
"Hey, Shay, it's me, please come out, I want to talk." I sigh and open the door, and there he stands.
He looks even more gorgeous than ever with worry in his eye and that piece of black hair that always falls into his eye. I want to reach my hand up and move it, but I know I can't.
He tentatively puts a hand on my shoulder, and I feel a shock of electricity, I don't have to wonder if he feels it too because I can see it in his face.
"Wow," he says.
"Yeah, wow." He leans in like he is thinking about kissing me, and I lean away.
"We can't. We can't do this; I can't drag you into the crazy stuff that happens in my life. I am not good enough for you. You barely know me."
"I want to get to know you. Let me decide whether or not your worth being in my life. Please just give me a chance you might change your mind."
I take a deep breath. "There are some things you need to know before you say things like that,” I say.
He looks at me, waiting for me to elaborate.
"Can we go somewhere else? I don't feel safe here right now." He looks at me with understanding,
"Absolutely, I want nothing more than for you to feel safe." He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the diner.
I glance back and notice Emily smiling at me. We take off in the night with the windows down on his truck.
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"We are just driving, just getting away, even if it's just for a couple of hours. This is something I do myself when I just feel like I need to get away." I look over at him appreciatively. This is just what I needed.
I take a deep breath, "I should probably explain some things, so you know what you’re getting into with me. When I was thirteen, my mom died in a car accident, she was my best friend and everything to me. My dad has never been much good in my life, and even when mom was alive, he found comfort in the bar. When mom passed, his life revolved around the bar, and I took comfort in the wrong crowd. I started getting drunk every night, and occasionally using drugs. I wasn't a good person. That’s how I met Gunner. He was everything that I thought I wanted. A bad boy and I was a troublemaker.
He was the perfect boyfriend, always doing and saying exactly what I wanted to hear. A couple of weeks after we met, I found out I was pregnant, and he bailed on me. He would come by when he was drunk or high to yell at me or smack me around, but he mostly just disappeared.
After Ryder was born, he came around for a couple of months and it seemed like things had turned around. It seemed like he was going to be there for us, and maybe we could be a family.
Eventually, he started staying out all night and sleeping with girls and not coming home for weeks at a time. I finally told him I was done. I didn't see him for about five months, and I was doing great just raising my boy on my own. His mom helped me. I think she felt guilty for the way her son turned out and wanted a second chance with her grandson. I appreciated any help I could get because I was utterly alone. I had Emily, but she knew nothing about being a mom. She was just a teenager herself.
Out of nowhere, Gunner started coming around more and more, and he just increasingly became more violent. He always threatened to disappear with Ryder, and I knew he was capable of it, so I just try to put up with whatever he does because I know that means he will leave Ryder alone.
My dad isn't any help, because if he comes home from the bar mad, he takes that anger out on me also. I'm just an inconvenience to him. He has never gotten over my mom dying, and I know he still sees her when he looks at me.
Anyway, these last couple of months with Gunner have been the worst. He thinks I've been out with countless guys, and he believes he still lays claim to me. The other night after the ball game, he came to my house, attacked me while I was in the shower, and told me if I didn't stay away from you, he would kill us both and take Ryder and run."
I am full-blown crying now; I don't know why I told him all this. If I wanted to scare him away, this is bound to work.
He pulls the truck over to the side of the road and pulls me into his arms. His body is shaking, and I know he’s angry.
"If you
thought this was going to scare me away, your wrong. There is something special here, and I want to see what happens. I need to protect you and Ryder. I feel it deep in my bones that I am here to make sure the two of you stay safe. And I will do everything I can to make sure of that. You don’t deserve all the things life has thrown out you, and I know you might not believe that now, but I believe it. Even after only knowing you for this short time, I can see what a beautiful person you are.
And also, I want to kill that guy.”
I start sobbing, and he only holds on tighter. He lifts my chin and pulls me closer to him. The air in the truck thickens. His face feels like it’s only millimeters from mine, and I feel like I might die if he doesn’t kiss me.
"I have been dying to do this since the first time I saw you." He says as he leans towards me. He looks into my eyes like he's waiting for my approval, and I slightly nod my head.
When his lips touch mine it's like everything else in the world has disappeared. You know that saying that people see fireworks when they kiss someone, I never believed that until now. This kiss was everything any girl dreams about getting in her life. He kissed me like he would never see me again, and I returned that kiss. I had never felt safer than right now, wrapped up in Luke's arms and his kiss.
It's like the air surrounding us comes to life. I can feel his energy, and I know he can feel mine too. His tongue slips into my mouth, and the kiss only intensifies. I didn't even know a kiss could feel like this. I didn't even know this feeling existed.
I whimper into his mouth, and he pulls me closer. It’s like the air is closing in on us. My heart is pounding, and I wonder if he is feeling the same way I am.
Is it possible for a kiss to change your life?
Chapter Eighteen
Luke
Any doubt I had about this girl just melted away with that kiss. That's the kind of kiss you make fun of guys for talking about. The kind of kiss that some people go through their whole lives wishing for and never get. There wasn't a chance I would ever let this girl go after that kiss.
Broken Bases Page 4
