As I'm standing there, I swear I hear the front door open and shut, but I really must be losing it. There is no way Em would come home early, she loves money too much. I'm just about to shut off the water when I swear, I hear another door down the hall shut.
"Hello?" I call out.
I reach my hand out of the shower to grab my phone and call someone, and I can feel that it’s not there. I quickly jump out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself, and cautiously walk out of the bathroom.
The first room I check is Emily’s, maybe she is home and that’s why I heard the door. I scan her room quickly but see nothing. Turning around I head down her small hallway and grab the handle to the room Ryder and I are sharing.
I gently push it open and walk in, I’m feeling paranoid, and I’m about to walk out to the living room when someone grabs me from behind.
"You think you can just get away from me? Gunner snarls at me. "Think you can just move on and live a life with my son that doesn't involve me?"
My body stiffens. He has a hand on my throat, and he shoves me up against the wall of my bedroom. His hand is squeezing so tight and at this point I’m just gasping for breaths.
He’s being so rough with me; my towel has fallen off and the corner of my dresser is pushing into my hip. His hand, the one that isn’t wrapped around my throat, is gripping on to my waist.
I don’t know what he plans to do right now, but I’ve never been more terrified in my life. He has done some unspeakable things to me, but I’ve also never seen him so angry.
"Mommy." I hear Ryder and my eyes go wide.
I’m devastated that my boy is seeing me like this, he’s so young, I want to cry because I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, I should have listened to all the warnings from everyone, and maybe he wouldn’t be a witness to whatever is about to happen right now.
"Oh yeah, I picked my son up from my mom’s. After I get rid of you, I'm taking him, and we are leaving this town."
I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to do anything, but he is too strong. He has me right where he wants me, and I know what's about to happen. He will take what he wants from me one more time before he kills me.
I try to go to a place with happy thoughts, I try to think of me and Ryder together and finally free of this, I try to think of anything but what is happening to me right now. I try not to ask myself what I did to deserve this, because I know I did nothing. I want to fight, because I'm afraid for my boy, but my body is feeling so weak right now.
I swear I hear sirens in the distance, but I realize I must be imagining it. Everything fades to black, and the last thing I see is my baby boy.
I wake up and blink, I look up and I see white walls.
"Shay, oh my God, Shay, you’re okay." I see Emily and she's crying and then I'm crying.
I don't know what happened, but I've never been happier to see someone in my entire life.
"What happened?"
"Are you sure you’re ready to hear all that? She looks at me with pain in her eyes.
“Just please tell me what happened, Em, please.”
She wipes a tear from her eye, “Gunner broke into my apartment. He was in one of the bedrooms waiting for you to get home. When you went into your bedroom, he attacked you, and he raped you, your head hit the side of the dresser in the room, and Ryder called 9-1-1.
He took Ryder from Tammy’s back yard; he was playing outside, and she ran into the kitchen to grab him a drink.”
The tears pull up in my eyes. "Where is he? Where is Ryder, where is Gunner?" I ask.
"Ryder is with Tammy in the waiting room, and Gunner Is gone Shay, he's gone. He tried to attack an officer and they shot him. He is finally gone."
I cry.
I cry for my boy who doesn't have a father anymore, I cry for myself because I am finally free, and I cry because I am so lucky to be alive.
Once again, my boy saved my life. He will never know how eternally grateful I am for him. I owe him my life.
When I leave the hospital this time, I don't feel a sense of dread. I feel free. I feel ready to live my life. I heard from a couple guys at the grocery store that my dad started one too many fights in the bar and is currently behind bars.
For once in my life I feel completely free and completely safe. I feel like I can finally leave this place and not have to look behind my back in every place I go.
Tammy had life insurance on Gunner since he was a baby. It had turned into a pretty big penny and she gave a big chunk to me and Ryder so I could move us away for college. I think I may have her talked into coming along with us. Things seem to be clicking into place for me, things are finally happening.
I just feel an overwhelming sense of happiness, but my mind still wants to go to one person. My fingers still itch to pick up the phone and call him. It would be so easy to fall back in with him, but I know I can't. I have to do things on my own for once. I need to make things happen for me and my boy, but I have to do this alone.
Chapter TWENTY-FIVE
Luke
I was at the ball field that night, when Jimmy told me that Shay had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. I wanted to go, but he talked me out of it. He said she had enough going on and I should let her rest. He's right. I can't get her to forgive me no matter how hard I try, but the hospital isn't the place to force it on her.
Gunner is finally gone from her life, so I know she is feeling at peace. I don't want to mess that up for her. I want nothing more than to be a part of her and Ryder's life, but I can't force it on her. She will realize we are meant to be together. I'll wait for her; I have ball to keep me occupied until she comes to her senses.
Tonight, is the last game of the season, and then it's time to get ready for college. I can't wait to get out of this town. I'll be moving to Nashville soon to attend Vanderbilt. I'm excited, but also sad that I won’t' be able to take Shay and Ryder with me. I heard from Jimmy that Shay got into college somewhere too, but he won't tell me where, he said she asked that he didn’t, and I didn’t want to put him in an uncomfortable situation. I guess that's for the best. I need to focus on the game. I need to focus on getting into the majors and starting my life.
A part of me still wishes I was starting that life with two other people. I'm happy for Shay, I know she and Ryder deserve all the happiness in the world. It feels like anything that was going to happen between us was over before it even got started.
I'm sitting on the bleachers after the game when she walks up. My heart skips a beat.
"Shay, what are you doing here?" I ask, hoping I don't scare her away.
"I needed to come talk to you before Ryder and I left. I felt like you deserved that. You hurt me Luke, but you didn't deserve me shutting you out like that, and I'm sorry. Thank you for still spending time with Ryder any chance you got. That doesn't go unnoticed and I really appreciate it. I'm sorry things didn't work out between us. It felt like we could have been something special, but I think life had other plans. I wish I would have met you a long time ago."
"No, you don't, Shay, you and Ryder have changed me for the better. And even though you think this isn't going to work out, I will be forever grateful, because in a just a few short weeks you taught me to be a better man, I want to be a better man because of the two of you. I don't agree with you, I don't think we should stop this before we ever even gave it a chance to start. Even if you’re going to give up on us, I won't."
She smiles at me, but her smile is sad. "Thanks for talking to me Luke, I couldn't leave without tying up all my loose ends, and I knew this conversation would be the hardest. I don't want to let you go, but I know I have to. I have to make a better life for me and my boy on my own. I have to get to a better place in my head." She starts to walk away, and I call after her.
"Shay, we have the potential to have a great love story. We could have that bottom of the 9th, bases loaded, grand slam kind of love. When are you gonna get that? When are you gonna admit that? And when are yo
u going to stop pushing me away? I know you think I'm crazy, talking about love already, but I can feel it inside of me. I don't care if it's been weeks, months, or years, this love isn't going anywhere. And I'll still be here waiting for you to figure it out for yourself. I understand you think you need time; I'll give you all the time in the world, and one day you will realize I've been right all along" I say.
She looks at me with wide panicked eyes, "I don't know about all that Luke, we barely know each other. Maybe this distance will be good, maybe this was going to be too intense." and after that she gets up and walks out of my life just as a quick as she blew in.
I head home and pack my bags; Rosa is going to take me to the airport in the morning. Jimmy came back yesterday to say goodbye. He is off to Miami. I'm hoping one day we find ourselves in the majors. And I'm just as happy for him, as I know he is for me. I don't sleep very well that night. The events of this year just keep running through my mind. All the mistakes I made, all the things I could have done differently, but maybe this is how it was all supposed to work out in the end.
I know whatever was happening between me and Shay could have been big. I know she feels the things I feel, but I also know her life has been crazy, and I know she is too scared to let someone get to close. I will give her time, but I will find her again one day.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Shay
I turn and walk away from Luke, before I fall for his words. He is talking crazy, saying he is in love with me. We barely know each other; this was barely anything. It hurts, because I know he is a good man that just needs some time to grow, but I have too much going on to wait on him to grow up.
As I'm walking away from the field, I can feel someone staring at me.
"You’re crazy." Valarie says as she stares at me from behind the bleachers.
"What do you want Valerie." I ask.
I have had enough going on in my life the past couple months, I really don't want to deal with her right now. But I also want to start college fresh, so maybe I should get this conversation over with.
"He is the best thing that would ever happen to trash like you. He would have given you and that bastard kid of yours a great life, you’re such a stupid bitch. I don't know what he ever saw in you." She sneers at me. I stop in my tracks and turn around.
"I'll tell you what, you don't know me so I will ignore what you just said. YOU don't know my life. You don't know what me and my son have been through the past few months, and you sure as hell know nothing about Luke and me. What's going on in my life and his is none of your business. I hope when you get to wherever you’re going next you get a personality, because that ugliness ruins anything else you might have going on for you."
And with that I turn and walk away. I hear her mutter bitch under her breath, but she is a thing of the past to me now. I said what needed to be said, and that's all I need to move on in life with a clear conscience.
Chapter TWENTY-SEVEN
Shay
I cry again as I hug Em goodbye, "I will follow you there one day she sniffs. I want out of this town now too, there is nothing left for me here."
"I can't wait for you to come." I smile.
"Everything loaded?" Jimmy asks.
"Yeah, we just have to go say bye to Ryder at Tammy's. They will down in Miami Friday."
"Alright, let's hit the road then." He says with a smile.
I know this is hard for him. Not telling Luke that I got into Miami also. He would make this out to be something it’s not. Jimmy is one of my best friends. It was fate we ended up at the same school, and just amazing that Tammy is going to move down there to help with Ryder while I'm in school.
It seems like things are finally clicking into place for me, but I will always feel like a piece of me is missing. Some of the things Luke said to me before I left the field that day have still stuck with me. He has faith that we will see each other again, and he doesn't think our story is over yet. I'd like to think he is right, but that's not something I can focus on right now, I'm just going to live life for me and Ryder and see where it takes us. If that is back to Luke one day, then that will be great, if it isn't then it just wasn't meant to be from the start.
Jimmy and I head out on our road trip to Florida, and I can't help but to feel so excited. I am excited to see where life will take us. I'm excited to see what I'm capable of when I'm not being held down. Life is looking up for Shay Montero. Ryder and I have been through so much in life already, it's nice to finally feel a little at peace.
I look over at Jimmy with a smile. I don’t think I would be where I am, or who I am without him. He has been a rock for me.
He glances over with a smile, “What are you smiling at?” He laughs.
“I’m just thinking about how lucky I am to have a friend like you.” I smile.
Something like regret passes through his eyes, but it’s gone so quickly I might have imagined it.
“I’m the lucky one,” he says.
When we finally arrive in Florida, I am just blown away with how beautiful it is. I was so excited to see the tiny apartment me and Ryder will live in. It isn't much, but it's perfect for us, and it's my own. That is very important to me. Jimmy will just be a couple miles away in the dorms, and Tammy found a house about 4 miles from us.
Everything is seriously looking up. School will start for me in August, and it's only July, so I have a little bit of time to find a job and spend some much-needed time with my boy.
The months pass and Ryder and I are adjusting great. I love school, I found a job at a restaurant down the street, and Ryder is loving going to school.
I see Jimmy occasionally, sometimes we grab a lunch or a dinner, but we always try to have a monthly movie night with Ryder. He is busy with ball and school and I am busy too. He gets Ryder from Tammy sometimes and takes him to the field to practice. I love that. I've always wanted Ryder to have a man to look up to, and I know Jimmy is that.
Jimmy found himself a beautiful girlfriend and I love her. Teresa is great. She loves Ryder too and she and I get along well. We even hang out sometimes without Jimmy, and it's so nice to have a girlfriend around.
It's getting close to November, and I haven't heard from Em in a while, I want to invite her down to stay with us over Christmas, and I'm hoping she will say yes. I miss my friend. I've made some friends here, but no one can take her place.
And I can't deny that a tiny piece of me still thinks about Luke from time to time, I wonder how life has turned out for him.
Chapter TWENTY-EIGHT
Luke
Coach pulled me into his office today, I don't know what's really going on, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact I am just not clicking with our team here.
"What's up Coach?" I ask.
"Listen Luke, I love having you here, but you just aren't fitting in with the team. I’ve done everything I could, I don’t know if you just chose the wrong place, or what happened, but I talked to Coach Aarons down in Miami and he wants you. He thinks you would be a good fit, and he has plenty of guys coming in from the majors looking for guys to pick up. I think it would be a good opportunity for you. I just want you to succeed."
"I've enjoyed my time here with you coach, but I think your right. My best friend is playing ball down there and I think I will feel like a whole new man once I get down there with him. Thanks for this opportunity."
I leave his office. I should have seen this coming. I haven't committed to the team here like I thought I would.
It's been nothing but party after party and girl after girl for me. And I'm spiraling out of control. I know it's not right, and I know I need to get my act together, but I'm just so lost. I think having Jimmy around will help me get myself back in check. He was always good at telling me when I was taking something too far.
I was going to call Jimmy and let him know I was coming, but I think I want to surprise him. The semester is about to end, and I'm going to make the move during Christmas break
.
A few weeks later I'm standing in Miami and I can't believe my luck. This place is amazing, and I should have been here from the beginning. As soon as I stepped off the plane I just felt at peace. It felt like home.
I head over to grab a taxi to check out my new place. They offered me a dorm, but I have to have my own space. I have all this money; I might as well use it for something good. I can’t imagine being stuffed in a dorm room with a bunch of students, I’ve always been used to being alone.
I arrive at the apartment complex and I am not impressed. Their website deceived me. I knew I should have come and checked the place out in person before putting down 6 months’ worth of rent. Now I'm stuck here in this shit hole for at least 6 months.
I climb up a couple flights of stairs and get to my place. It leaves a lot to be desired. Maybe a furniture shopping trip will help spruce it up a bit. I sit some of my bags down and give Jimmy a call.
"Hey man, what are you up to?" I ask.
"I'm over at the ball fields with a couple guys throwing around, what are you doing?"
"Oh nothing, just thought I'd give ya a call, but I'll talk to you later something just came up."
I hang up the phone and head out the door, I'm going straight to the fields to surprise my best friend. I can't wait to see his face.
When I get to the field and get out, I hear one of the guys shout "Hey is that Luke Baker? That guy is a stud!" Jimmy turns around and gives me a huge grin.
"LUKE! What are you doing here man?" I smile and let him in on the good news.
"I transferred; we are going to be playing together again!" For just a moment he looks panicked, but maybe I imagined it.
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