I call the kids into the kitchen after I'm off the phone so I can tell them the good news.
"Okay, guys, next year around Christmas I have a big surprise for your mom."
"Are you finally popping the question?" Ryder asks with a smirk.
"Wow, and here I thought this was going to be a big surprise."
“I’m just wondering why you’re waiting until Christmas. It’s clear to me that you two love each other, isn’t that what matters?”
This kid really is smart, I don’t have to wait until Christmas. I can make this happen for all of us sooner.
“You’re right Ryder, why wait?”
My plan is to buy a ring, and get the papers from the courthouse, I want to propose to Shay, and present her with papers to adopt Ava. She has been her mom for a while now, and it's only fitting. I finally have something to look forward to after all the darkness that's been clouding my life. I can't wait to get this all together, I can't wait for Shay to officially be mine. I've known we were meant to be from the moment that smart ass remark came out of her mouth at me, it's just taken me some time to finally talk her into it.
Three months later
A few months after I talked with the kids, I finally found the perfect ring for Shay. It was everything I had been looking for, and Ava even agreed it was the one. It felt like it took forever to find the one that she deserved.
I went and had a visit with my lawyer today. I needed to get some paperwork squared away, make sure everything is covered for my new family, for my new wife. I also wanted him to get all the proper paperwork gathered up for the adoption. I didn’t want to make any mistakes.
Shay is so happy right now. Ava is so happy right now. Even Ryder seems to be enjoying life. I should be enjoying life too. Finally having the family I've longed for and finally having Shay in my life.
I am so depressed right now and no one even notices. I put on a smile every morning, and my acting skills are excellent. Every morning is a struggle for me to even get out of bed. I don't understand how a person can have everything going for them in life, have so much that should make them happy, yet still feel nothing inside.
I pull up to my doctor’s office this morning, hoping he will give me some more pain medication. It's the only thing that seems to help keep me out of the fog I'm in, maybe he has something that can pull me out of whatever this is. I've been sitting in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes now, and I have my hat and glasses on hoping no one recognizes me. Finally, the nurse walks out and calls the fake name I always give. Dr. Pearson comes in a few minutes later with a furrowed brow.
"Luke what are you doing here already?"
"I just filled up your prescription a week ago and it was enough for at least three weeks."
I lie straight to her face and tell her that Ava dumped them out by accident, and we threw away what we could find, but the rest were a lost cause.
She sighs, "Okay, I'm going to refill it for you, but please be more careful. I really shouldn't do this, but I know you’re in pain."
I thank her and leave and head straight for the pharmacy. Once everything is squared away, I head home. Shay's face lights up when I come in, and I immediately feel guilty for everything I've been hiding from her.
"Hey babe, I didn't know you were getting out, I would have gone with you, I know it's still been painful getting up and around."
I smile over at her.
“That’s okay babe, I just wanted to get out and about, it wasn’t anything important.”
She has been nothing but amazing with me since we found out I won't ever be able to play ball again. She has done everything I could have asked for trying to make the pain I'm feeling go away. She kisses me and tells me she has to go in and get some stuff ready in her classroom before school starts. It’s already August, and school will be starting back up in the next couple of weeks.
When she leaves, the house is eerily quiet. I don't remember the last time I was here by myself. The quiet sets my mind at ease, and I long for a time when my head and body felt this at peace.
I wonder how I can feel this way all the time. I grab a drink from the fridge, and then pause and wonder if maybe something stronger wouldn't help a little more. No one is home, so it might be just what I need. The worst that happens is it puts me to sleep, and I know someone will wake me up when they get home. I grab the liquor from the cabinet, pour me a drink, and head up to my room.
I shoot Shay a text remind her how much I love her and how happy I am that we are finally a family and let her know I'm going to take a nap and to wake me when she gets home. I really don't tell her enough how much I appreciate everything she has done for me; how much I truly love her. I pour a handful of pills into my hand, take a giant drink, and lay back on my bed. My mind and body are finally feeling at peace.
Chapter FORTY-SEVEN
Shay
Something is going on with Luke.
He's been sneaking around, going to these random appointments and only giving me vague information about them. He's hiding something from me, but I'm not really sure what he's up to. I think the kids are in on it too, maybe even Jimmy and Rosa, everyone seems like their having private conversations all the time, and they all stop talking when I walk in the room.
I also can't shake the feeling that something has been bothering Luke. He hasn't seemed like himself lately, even though he constantly tells me how much he loves me, and how happy he is. I try to erase any doubt I'm feeling. This man loves me, he loves my son, he loves his daughter, we are finally happy. I think it has something to do with him having to retire from ball.
His injury wasn't getting better, even after a few surgeries. I know he's in pain, but he always pretends like he isn't. We have such a great relationship right now; I wish this were something he felt like he could share with me. School is about to start back up again, so maybe this is something I can sit down and talk with him about before things get crazy around the house again. I finish up hanging things up in the classroom for the new school year and lock up my classroom.
After I'm finished at the school I swing through and grab Luke and me some dinner. I also stop by the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test. I think I have some big news for Luke, and I couldn’t be more excited. He loves Ryder and Ava and he loves being around kids, so I am so excited I’m going to get the opportunity to share something like this with him.
He doesn't know it, but I arranged for a sitter tonight so we could have some much-needed alone time. It feels like it has been way too long, and I just want to have someone on one time and some adult conversation with him.
I open the door and holler up to him that I'm home, but I get no response. Then I remember he told me he was going to lay down for a nap, so I head upstairs. I crack open the door and it's totally dark in the room.
"Luke, hey, I'm home." Nothing.
"Luke, you told me to wake you up when I got home, is everything okay?"
When he doesn't respond again, I walk into the room and see him lying on the bed.
"Luke?"
I shake him, but nothing still. I feel the panic rise inside. There is a bottle of pills and an empty glass on the table next to the bed. I don't know when he got this prescription filled, but there are only a few pills left inside.
"Luke!" I scream, I shove at his chest, as I cry out. I frantically search for a phone nearby and dial 911.
"Help please, I think my boyfriend has overdosed, help me. I don't know what to do, please help." I cry out.
The lady on the other end desperately tries to get me to calm down and reassures me that someone will be there soon.
The next number I dial is Jimmy.
"Please hurry fast, meet us at the hospital, I don't know what's happened, but it's bad. Please, Jimmy, hurry." I cry out.
At this point I'm sobbing uncontrollably. I know I am no help to anyone, and I am gripping on to Luke's body, praying that he opens his eyes, and this is all just a big misunderstanding.
&
nbsp; The next hour is a complete blur when I try to think back to what happened. I vaguely remember the paramedics showing up, or anyone helping me into the ambulance with Luke's body. I feel like this is all a bad dream.
I'm sitting in the waiting room with Jimmy and he has his arms wrapped around me trying to help calm me down when the Dr. comes down the hallway.
I try to read his face before he reaches me, you know, like when you’re watching a movie and you’re holding your breath waiting to see what kind of look the doctor has before they reach the family? I'm trying to read him, I'm trying to brace myself for the worst, but still hold on hope for the best. So many emotions pass through me in the seconds it takes him to reach us at the end of the hallway, the seconds that seem like hours, the waiting has felt like a lifetime.
"Ms. Montero?" He asks, and I nod my head.
"I'm so sorry, but he didn't make it. We did everything we could, but he just took too much, and we didn't get to him in time."
"You did everything you could have done, ma'am."
I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. I can't breathe. I sink to the floor. My head is spinning. I think maybe I am dying too. If I'm not, I wish I was. He just took a part of me with him. Any pain I've felt up to this point in my life is nothing compared to the pain I'm feeling now.
Nothing.
My life is over. My love is gone, and he took my heart with him. I'm not sure what I did to deserve this? I'm not sure what my kids did to deserve this? Ryder has been through so much in his life, and now this? I have been through so much in my life.
Nothing compares to this.
Nothing.
The pain is indescribable. It feels like someone came up and ripped my heart completely out of my chest. I can’t breathe, I can’t talk, I’m not even aware of my surroundings anymore.
Chapter FORTY-EIGHT
Jimmy
I'm sitting on the couch watching TV when my phone rings. It's Shay, which is weird, ever since she and Luke finally got together, she doesn't usually call me anymore, not unless she wants advice on a gift for him.
He is usually the one calling, and I haven’t heard from him in months, not since he called to tell me that he finally found the perfect ring for her.
I couldn't be happier for them. Seeing your two best friends finally make it work is really great, even if your own love life is pretty much nonexistent. I’ve come to find out that you can be happy for your best friends, while also feel like their tearing you apart.
Thankfully, I’m the only one that realizes I’m probably in love with Shay, and probably always have been, ever since she took our order in the diner all those years ago. She always only saw Luke, and I’m fine with that. The two of them have a love that people dream about, and I know one day I will have that too, I’m not in any hurry.
"Hello?" All I can hear is screaming, crying, and a lot of muffled rushed talking. I immediately sit up, worried.
"Shay, is everything okay? Are the kids okay? Where are you?"
"I don't know what's happening? I don't know what he did. He isn't waking up. I called 9-1-1. I don't know what to do."
She's sobbing uncontrollably now, and my heart falls to my stomach. I don't know what's going on, but I know it's not good. I tell her I'm on the way and hang up. I'm out the door in no time and racing down the street.
The ambulance is already there when I arrive, and it puts my heart into overdrive. I rush into the house, and find the paramedics trying to get Shay off the bed.
"Ma'am, we need to take him in, please." They look at her with sympathy.
I pull her away and that's when I notice Luke.
He's lying there, clearly unresponsive. Shay is a total mess; I pull her into my arms and try to shield her away from them. They tell me to follow the ambulance to the hospital, and all I can do is nod. I try to take Shay with me, I’m not sure she is mentally stable enough to ride in the ambulance, but she refuses. I help the paramedics get her into the back of the ambulance, and I’ll never forget the look on her face as they shut the doors.
It's been hours. We've been sitting in this waiting room for hours. Shay is curled up next to me and she hasn't stopped crying. I run my hands through her hair and pray.
I pray whatever happened isn't that serious. I pray they can help him in that operating room, and I pray if they can't that I can be strong enough to help not only myself, but her and the kids get through this.
When the doctor comes down the hall and calls Shay's name, I know the news isn't good. I can tell by the look on his face, he looks like he would rather be anywhere but here, anywhere but telling us that we just lost one of the most important people in our lives.
Shay falls to the floor, and I'm right there with her. I don't know how we can get through this. I don't know if we can get through this.
I don't know what to do. She is in so much pain that you can physically see it. I am in pain too, he was my best friend, my brother, my life. I want to be there for Shay, but I'm grieving also.
How will the two of us survive this? How can we survive this? What will happen to Ava?
Oh my God, poor Ava, who will have to tell her what happened? I can't do this. I'm not strong enough for this. Why did he do this to me? Why is he leaving all of this up to me? He didn't do this on purpose, did he? I can't breathe. Shay is on the ground; the nurses are rushing around.
Everything is a blur.
THE END
Book 2, Stolen Bases, in the Double Play Duet Coming soon
Acknowledgments
First and foremost, I have to thank my fiancé Eddie. He has been by my side for 11 years now, and he always encourages me chase my dreams. It was because of his push that I took the leap and started this book, and it’s because of him that I’ll hopefully write many more after this.
Brittany... You’re my best friend and you’re my biggest fan. Books brought us together, and books are making this friendship stronger. I can’t thank you enough for your constant support and for always cheering me on. Thank you for editing this book for me and thank you for always believing in me. Don’t forget, one day, we will be writing a book together. I’m holding you to that.
Lindsey... You have been the biggest help to me with starting this book. You have answered so many of my ridiculous questions, and even helped me make my very first teaser. You designed a cover for me that made me cry. I started as a fan of your writing, and now I consider you a friend. (I will still forever stalk you though.)
Ashley… Thank God for reader groups. One of my favorite groups brought you into my life, and you have been such a blessing. Reading my book before it was released, making me the most amazing teasers, and practically becoming a personal assistant to me. You have no idea what all your help has meant to me, and I can’t wait to see how this friendship grows.
Jona… You are seriously the best big sister. You are my biggest cheerleader, and you have been supporting me ever since you found out I was doing this. I love you so much, thank you for everything.
Mom & Dad… Thanks for everything. Literally everything. You guys have always been there for me, and I know you would do anything for me. Love you both so much.
Mrs. Burdin… You were the first teacher to bring the love of reading into my life. Thanks for making us read all those books, write all those papers, and just help continue to grow my love of books.
And finally. You the reader. If you’re reading this, if you made it this far, you have no idea what that means to me. I consider myself a reader at heart, so just knowing you took a chance on me and my very first book means everything to me. I hope you loved it as much as I loved writing it.
let’s connect
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About the Author
Nikki has lived-in small-town Illinois her whole li
fe. She lives with her husband, and their four kids.
Life is hectic, and when she isn’t writing, she’s driving kids from one activity to the next, or reading. She loves to review books.
Broken Bases Page 13
