by Heidi Champa
“Well, that’s everything,” I said with a smile.
Tina shook her head, putting an arm around Kelsey. I glanced into the backseat and saw the few boxes and bags that made up my life. It really was kind of sad for a guy my age to have so little, but it sure made moving a hell of a lot easier. I promised myself once I got to California, things would be different. I’d buy furniture and a proper suit, maybe even ice cube trays. I’d be normal and do normal stuff. Once I started over, I’d be a totally different person.
“I should get going. I want to get out of the state by sundown.”
“I’m gonna miss you, U Dub,” Kelsey said through her sniffles.
I hugged her close, her whole body shaking as she sobbed.
“Me too, Miss Thing. But like I said, we can still talk. I’ll text you, so just make sure you glance at your phone every once in a while.”
She squeezed me harder, breaking away after I kissed the top of her head. Then it was Tina’s turn to hug me, her chin digging into my shoulder.
“Take care of yourself out there, Wes. And remember, sunscreen is your friend.”
I laughed at her mothering words and realized how much I would miss them. Daniel eyed me for a moment before pulling me into a hug too. My heart clenched, the gravity of everything hitting me in an instant.
“You know you can always come back, man. Our door is always open,” he said, his voice cracking a bit. He pulled back but put a hand on my shoulder.
“I know,” I said, all I could manage at the moment.
I stood still for another minute, my resolve wavering. I knew if I didn’t leave immediately, I’d cave and end up back in the basement.
“Okay, well, I’ll call you from the road,” I said as I pulled open my car door.
Without another word, I started the car and rolled down the street. The three of them stood, waving as I stopped at the end of their road. A tear ran down my cheek as I watched them in the rearview mirror, still waving. I turned and they disappeared from view, my old life gone from my sight. Only about three thousand miles until my new life would be in view.
I’D JUST gotten to Columbus, Ohio when I decided to stop for the night. I’d been on the road for nearly nine hours, only stopping long enough to shove food in my mouth and pee a few times. My whole body was stiff, my back screaming for a place to lie down. I pulled into a motel that the Internet told me was clean and cheap, which were the only two things on my list of requirements. After checking in, I grabbed a fast-food dinner and then settled onto the surprisingly comfortable bed to veg out before I fell asleep.
Doing nothing all day in the car had taken more out of me than it should have. As I scrolled through the minimal TV channel choices, I looked at my phone for the first time in hours. There were a few texts from Kelsey and one from Daniel. I’d also missed a few calls, but there was only one voice mail. I put in my code and lay back to listen. When Sam’s voice came through the phone, my heart leapt.
“Hey, Wes, it’s Sam. I guess you’re already gone. I was hoping to catch you before you left, you know, to say good-bye. I really don’t like how we left things… but I suppose it doesn’t matter now, does it? Anyway, I hope you have a safe trip and that California is… well, that it’s everything you want it to be. At least the weather will be better…. Anyway, um… well… I’m really gonna miss you….”
The silence stretched out for a long while, but I could tell the message wasn’t over. I could barely breathe as his voice came back, a bit softer.
“I really wish you would have stayed and given us a chance. I know you said it would never work, but I think you’re wrong. I think we could have been something really great. Or at least, we could have given it a real try… you know… taken the chance. Maybe we both could have gotten over ourselves and our baggage… you know… together. But anyway….”
There was more quiet on the line; this time, I could hear him breathing, so I knew there was more. His voice cracked on the next words.
“I really wish you would have stayed. Because that’s what I wanted, what I still want. More than you’ll ever know. I guess…. Anyway, that’s it. Um… yeah. Good-bye, Wes.”
This time, the silence ended abruptly, my phone beeping to signal the end of the voice mail. My body was paralyzed for a moment, before I replayed the message. Then I listened again. After the fifth time through it, I was in tears with the knowledge that I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
CHAPTER 16
I PULLED in front of Sam’s house, the sun barely a sliver above the horizon. The house was dark, the light on the front porch still shining. My eyes were heavy, my last three cups of coffee from the turnpike rest stops doing little to help me stay awake. I knew Sam would probably be up, his normal routine starting a few minutes ago. But now that I’d driven all the way back to talk to him, I was afraid to get out of the car. So I decided to stay in the car and rest my eyes until I could get my courage back.
My eyes flew open, a loud sound rousing me from my sleep. I looked up and saw Sam standing next to my car. I rolled down my window to one of Sam’s amazing smiles.
“Hi. So, here I thought this was going to be a typical morning. Then I walked outside to get the paper and saw you, passed out in your car in front of my house.”
“I can explain that,” I said, stifling a yawn.
“Well, this I gotta hear.”
Sitting up straight, I tried to smile, but my heart was racing too hard. I pushed open my door and stepped into the quiet street, confronting Sam face-to-face. He held a mug out to me, steam rising from the coffee inside. I took it, drinking a huge sip before saying anything else.
“Better?” Sam asked, sipping from his own mug.
“Yes, thanks. What time is it?”
“A little after seven. When did you get here?”
“Around six. I was going to knock, but… well,” I said, not knowing how to finish the sentence.
“I was up,” he said, matter-of-factly.
“I know.”
We stood in the street, most of the rest of the neighborhood still asleep.
“Why don’t you come in, Wes?”
I held my coffee cup in both hands to try and keep them from shaking.
“Are you sure? I can go to Daniel’s and come back later. You know, when it’s a better time.”
He put his arm around my shoulder and ushered me up the driveway to his house.
“This is a perfect time. Don’t you think?” he asked as he pulled the door open.
Once we were inside, I didn’t know what to do or say. I’d rehearsed my speech a million times during the hours I’d spent in the car on my drive back. I knew exactly what to say, but now that I was with Sam, my brain was empty. Sam took the mug from me and set it on the kitchen counter.
“So, Wes, I thought you’d already left town.”
I looked at the wall, wondering if it was too late to bail on my plan.
“I did. Yesterday morning. I made it all the way to Ohio.”
“What happened? You forget something?” he said with a laugh.
I stepped closer and put my hands on the counter, the granite between us feeling a mile wide.
“I got your voice mail. And, well, I knew I had to talk to you.”
“You could have just called.”
I shook my head, moving into the kitchen, putting my arms around him before I could think better of it.
“After what you said, I needed to see you, to talk to you face-to-face.”
He stood stiff in my arms for a moment, before leaning in and kissing me. Hard. When he pulled back, he was smiling.
“Sorry I waited so long. I guess I should have called before you left. Saved you the gas,” he said.
I shook my head, my fatigue making me a bit dizzy.
“Don’t be sorry. The time and money I wasted was a self-inflicted wound, once again. I should have listened to you at Jocelyn’s. You were right. I was scared. I am scared. But when you called, the things
you said—I couldn’t ignore them.”
I could feel the heat of his body, something I never thought I’d have the chance to do again.
“I meant it. I think we could really have something,” he said softly.
“I agree. I’m just not sure where we go from here. We have a lot to talk about, I guess.”
“Agreed. We can take things slow, you know. So we’re both comfortable while we figure this stuff out,” he said, a small smile on his face.
I grabbed him by the front of the shirt and kissed him.
“I thought you’d be tired of waiting, Sam.”
He ran his lips over my neck, his hands moving slowly up and down my back.
“For you, Wes, I’m willing to wait. As long as it takes.”
I closed my eyes, letting my body rest against him. My need for sleep was warring with my desire to throw Sam down on the kitchen floor and tear his clothes off. The longer my eyes stayed closed, the harder it felt to open them again. Sam’s movement made me blink back to life, but I still had trouble focusing. Sam laughed, his hands on my shoulders.
“God, Wes, you’re dead on your feet. We should get you to bed.”
Practicality overtook me and I realized he had a job to get to. Glancing at the clock, I took a step back, putting aside my dirty thoughts for a moment.
“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll head out, grab a hotel room. You should get going or you’ll be late for work. We can talk later.”
He laughed, taking me by the hand.
“You know, there’s a bed one floor up. I don’t think you should be driving anywhere in your current condition,” he said as we trudged up the stairs.
“You sure about this, Sam?”
He nodded as he pushed the door open, and he led me to the side of the bed. Before he answered he pulled my T-shirt over my head.
“I’m sure. You sleep. I have to head into the office for a little while, but I’ll only be there a few hours, at the most.”
He unbuttoned my jeans, and my eyes fell closed.
“Don’t mess up your day for me. I don’t want to throw off your schedule.”
“It’s really no problem. Sometimes it’s good to be the boss.”
“I guess so,” I said, my brain starting to get fuzzy.
“You might be finding out soon enough, Wes.”
He gave me a gentle shove and I fell back into his bed. Pulling the blanket over me, he kissed me on the forehead.
“I guess. Although, I haven’t really worked all the work stuff out. I still have to call Shannon and tell her I’m not coming to California. Actually, I should do that now,” I said, trying to sit up.
It didn’t take much effort for him to keep me in place.
“Later for all that. You need to sleep. I’ll be back soon, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, giving up any thoughts I had of getting out of bed.
I opened my eyes long enough to watch him stop in the doorway.
“Call me if you need anything, Wes,” he said with a smile. I couldn’t imagine what else in the world I needed at that moment.
“I think I’m good.”
I WOKE up with a start, confused for a long moment until I remembered where I was. My heart started to slow as I snuggled under the blankets, stretching out my stiff legs. I let out a long deep breath and started to relax again, until I turned my head. The clock on Sam’s bedside table told me it was nearly half past three. Which meant Maya would be home from school soon. Throwing the covers aside, I dressed as quickly as I could, knowing Sam would want me to be gone before the bus arrived. I made a quick detour to the bathroom and made a vain attempt to fix my horrible bedhead. As I ran down the stairs, I patted my pocket and realized my keys weren’t there.
“Shit,” I said out loud, trying to remember if I’d seen them on the bedroom floor. As I turned and headed upstairs to check, a voice nearly made me jump out of my skin.
“Wes? What are you doing?”
Sam appeared at the bottom of the staircase, looking up at me with a smile.
“Um, I can’t find my keys. And Maya will be home soon, so I should go. Not that I know where I’m going. I still have to call Daniel and tell him I’m back, I guess.”
Sam laughed as I went back to the bedroom, getting on my hands and knees in the hopes of locating my lost keys. He stood watching from the doorway, casual as can be.
“Your keys are downstairs on the table in the foyer,” he said, his voice cracking with a chuckle.
I got up with a sigh, my head still fuzzy. I had no memory of putting them there.
“Why didn’t you say so? The bus will be here any minute.”
I tried to shove past him, but he blocked my way out of the room.
“Sam, what are you doing?”
He pulled me into a kiss, which only made me more confused.
“First of all, you need to relax. School ended a couple days ago, remember? And Maya is spending some time at her grandmother’s. So you don’t have to go anywhere.”
I let out a breath and felt my shoulders drop.
“Oh, good. I completely forgot school ended.”
“Second, your days of running out of here to avoid her are over, you know.”
I raised my eyebrows, not sure how to react.
“They are?”
He nodded, moving me back inside the bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed, still trying to calm myself down. Sam joined me, and it was then that I noticed he wasn’t in his suit anymore. I hadn’t heard him come in and change. Clearly, I had been dead to the world.
“Yup. Maya and I haven’t talked it all the way through yet, but she knows how I feel about you.”
“Oh,” I said, my mind too scrambled for more at that moment.
He picked up my hand, lacing his fingers through mine.
“And third….” He trailed off, and I waited for his next revelation. But instead he kissed me again, knocking me for another loop.
“Third, I was hoping you’d stay a little while longer, Wes.”
“Any particular reason, Sam?”
He rested his forehead against mine and chuckled.
“Have I told you how much I’ve missed you?” he asked.
“You might have mentioned it.”
His lips moved to my neck, and I couldn’t stop the sigh from coming out of my mouth.
“I thought I could convince you to get back into bed.”
His tongue slipped over my earlobe before his teeth gently raked it.
“Sounds good to me. I’m still really tired,” I said, suppressing a laugh.
Sam jumped to his feet, stripping off his clothes with a few quick motions. He pulled me up and made quick work of mine. I’d barely stepped out of my pants when he gave me a shove. I let myself fall onto the mattress, and my eyes closed for a moment. Until he climbed over me.
“You’re such a smartass,” he said right into my ear.
I smiled up at him and wrapped my arms around his back.
“I try.”
Sam’s face turned to stone and my stomach clenched at the sight.
“Wes, I really… I mean, I think that….” He trailed off and I kissed him until his body relaxed against mine.
“Why don’t we talk later, Sam? I don’t know about you, but right now, all I can think about is this.” I punctuated my last word by squeezing his ass.
He laughed as he propped himself up on his hands.
“God, I missed that.”
“What?” I asked.
“You, saying the exact right thing.”
I urged him closer and took his face in my hands, kissing him hard. I wanted to tell him how much I’d missed him too, but I couldn’t manage the words. Instead, I kissed him like I was trying to make up for lost time, like I could erase the last few weeks from both our minds. Rolling us both over, I kissed my way down his body, loving the feel of him squirming beneath me. His cock was hard, begging for me to take it into my mouth. I could feel my heart pounding, my ner
ves taking me by surprise. Being with someone who meant so much to me was something I still wasn’t used to. The times we’d been together before had given me a taste, but I could always pretend it was just casual, just fun. But now, there was no way to keep my real feelings at bay. It was a bit overwhelming. Sam propped himself on his elbows and looked at me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern on his face.
I nodded, trying to clear the last of my fears away. After a few deep breaths to calm myself down, I took a long slow lick around the head before I enveloped him, letting my tongue slide down the underside of his shaft. I heard him let out a deep sigh before he grunted out a few words.
“Jesus, Wes.”
My lust overtook my heart for the moment, and I eased into a rhythm, moving up and down his cock, taking my time to savor each moment. Sam put a hand on my head but still let me set the pace. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and jerked him in time to my mouth. That got a few more moans out of his mouth, and I sucked him harder and deeper still. Soon, both his hands twined in my hair. He pushed and pulled me, and I let him take control, his cock moving deeper with each thrust of his unruly hips. Just as I got used to his insistent pace, he stopped, pulling back. Our eyes met and it was my turn to be concerned.
“Something wrong, Sam?”
He shook his head before sitting up, beckoning me closer with a crooked finger.
“Nope. In fact, I think things are just about perfect.”
“Just about?”
He kissed me, closing his hand around my hard cock.
“Well, things will be perfect in a minute.”
“Really? Why’s that?”
Sam stared into my eyes, and I felt my heart flutter.
“Because I imagine it feels pretty perfect to be inside you.”
My mouth fell open, and before I could say a word, Sam started stammering out his next sentence.
