by Emily Childs
Sawyer may be shy about his diagnosis, but to me his jitters are but another piece of him that I loved. Still, love.
“He’s been running a lot,” Kyler tells me. “Seems to help. I wish he’d do more of his programming, though. Sometimes the day to day of insurance is too repetitive and I’m not sure it gives him the same outlet like IT work.”
I couldn’t agree more. Sawyer didn’t belong in board rooms. He didn’t belong behind mountains of repetitive paperwork. Cracking codes, using creativity, those kinds of things were better for him, but what did my opinion matter?
“Now that he’s selling out from L & H, I think he’ll be a lot happier.”
“He’s what?” Sawyer didn’t say he was leaving.
Kyler smirks. “Yep. He’s going to focus on the app, sell his shares. He’s sticking around here for the foreseeable future.”
I roll my bottom lip between my teeth to hide my stupidly wide smile. Sawyer is staying. One of the largest hurdles from last time was the distance. I was in Honeyville, he was in Raleigh. We saw each other maybe two weekends a month if we were ambitious. Having him here—again, maybe I should take a risk and trust him.
“That’s great,” I finally say.
“There she is.”
I whip around at Will’s voice. He’s grinning like a kid on Christmas, homed in on a Miss Maddie. Mylanta—she’s grinning right back. Will hurries his handsome behind over to her.
Too soon he is followed by a frilly pink swimsuit who is slithering a perfectly manicured hand over Sawyer’s shoulder.
Marlow from the boutique is a man snatcher. Always looking for love, and let’s be honest, a thick wallet. Mean of me. The Belles, as we call them, are nice-ish. Evie Jordan is sweet, so is Calliope, the others like Marlow—well, maybe they’re a bit keen to dip in shallow water. But they do sell cute things.
Sawyer grins politely, but my stomach is doing cartwheels as he strategically maneuvers a step away. That’s right, girl. Hands off.
Ugh, I can’t claim that unless I jump in headfirst with the man again. A conundrum—at least I’m hell-bent on making it a conundrum.
“Got your eye on someone?” I whisper to Kyler, who hasn’t stopped staring at Evie.
“That I do.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Pardon me, I need to discuss something with Miss Jordan.”
Ho-hum, what is going on there? Did poised, proper, perfect Evie Jordan go red in the face? Curious.
“Dot, you coming?” Brady asks.
Sawyer turns at my name, but I crook my arm around Brady’s. As of this moment, HealthyRx is officially a competitor. “Lead the way, Doctor.”
The opening ceremonies of Beach Day are always entertaining. Rosita has a fiery mouth and loves to build up a healthy rivalry between the companies. What is supposed to be a simple breakfast turns into a bagel fight after her speech. Rick’s Hardware won. I’m not sure what the rules were, but they were determined the food fight victors.
But where the games kick off in blood, sweat, and tears is during beach volleyball.
Single elimination is brutal and Zac’s Auto is taking names. Although, the Honeyville Clinic isn’t half bad. I lose track of HealthyRx among the various nets and game stations, saving myself from a peek at Sawyer without his shirt. I know from experience, I’ll go down in a heap of lust since his chest is my own personal kryptonite.
“Get it Dottie!” Brady shouts when the ball flies straight at me.
I might be a deb, but I know my way around a volleyball. I dive, sand in my mouth, grit on my tongue, but save the ball, so Jo and her long limbs can spike it over the net.
And that is how you kick Haye’s Chicken and Waffles to the curb.
At the winning point we scream and the next thing I know, Brady is lifting me out of the sand with his rippled arms and hopping up and down like we’re on pogo sticks. “Thata girl!” He whoops a few times until I’m laughing and feeling like a hero.
“Geez, Dottie,” Will says when he, Jace, Jo, and Lily join in the group huddle. “When did you become a volleyball player?” Since it’s only Jace and Will representing their business, Rosita caved and allowed them to team with us.
“William,” I say and pat his cheek, “I am full of surprises.”
We laugh as Rosita calls time out for lunch. Finally, at the picnic area, I catch sight of Sawyer with Kyler, HealthyRx staff, and—I groan—Marlow and her Belles are squished right next to them.
We’ve been here for three hours, and I haven’t said a word to Sawyer at all. I’m ready to throw a hissy fit, and goodness if Marlow tries to touch his leg one more time . . .
“Dottie, we’ve got a table right behind them,” Olive whispers in my ear.
“I wasn’t saying we needed to—”
“Oh, girl. You were. In your face, you were saying it over and over. We’ve got your back.”
I roll my eyes, but follow to the tables. Sawyer catches my eyes. He’s delightful to look at—damp shirt, tousled hair, a water droplet curves over the fullness of his lip. Marlow is telling him something, but those green eyes are watching every step I take. And I like it.
“Hey, Maddie!” Will shouts. He points at our table. Maddie smiles shyly, but she takes up a plate and starts to move.
I lower my voice. “Yeah, you’ve got some explaining to do on that one, William.”
The tips of his ears redden, and it’s not from the sun. “Gladly. She’s my new favorite subject.”
What? I drop my mouth and glance at Jace again. She rolls her eyes and says, “Oh, don’t get him started. Seriously. You’d think he’d gone and fallen in love. They’ve met up like a handful of times.”
“You can’t fight it if it’s right, Jace,” Will says.
My heart kind of sings at that. I’m happy for Will and consider being bold myself by asking Sawyer to come over by us. There isn’t really any room, but I make sure I sit in a place where I have a direct line of sight.
By the time lunch is over I’ve counted eight. Eight times Marlow has tried to touch Sawyer in some way. Has she never heard of personal boundaries? Never once has he returned her affection. Even Maddie is in on it with me, now. I’m too homed in on Marlow’s hands, I sort of missed the fact that this is the first time Maddie and I have really talked.
“Sawyer is going to fall right off the bench if he scoots over any more.”
I snicker. True enough, he’s basically perched half on the bench, half off. “He’s too polite to call her out.”
“I don’t know, he’s looking a little annoyed.” Maddie brushes her hands together. “Maybe I’ll be nice and help him. Will?” Will perks up and seems ready to burst when Maddie takes his hand. “Let’s get in the water.”
It happens in waves; Maddie catches the attention of her cousins. Sawyer hops up, his expression relieved. Olive drags Rafe toward the water, followed by Jo and Zac who bring a few folding chairs. Jace links her arm with mine, Lily and August hold Brin’s hands between them, and I might melt if that little girl squeals again.
Not long and half the Belle Boutique girls are playing in the water, most of the clinic, Sawyer’s crew, Zac’s shop, and a few from Sport’s Academy. Evie giggles and tries to tackle Kyler in the waves.
“Woman,” he says playfully and strips his shirt.
With my toes dancing in the water, I grin. Kyler deserves love. I’m not sure if Evie will lead to love, but he looks happy. It’s a relief to see him willing to open to someone else. Then there is Will and Maddie playing right next to them. Not as gooey, but who knows what sort of walls she’s put up around her heart after her crazy ex.
“I think my brother is smitten,” Jace says at my side.
“I think so, too.”
“Did you know she’s getting a divorce?”
“I did. Supposedly, he’s a huge jerk.”
Jace nods with a wince. “I guess she’s opened up to Will about some of it. It’s weird, though. To think of Will maybe meeting someone.”
I snort.
“Isn’t that a major goal in life? Meet someone to love?”
“Ugh, who knows? Sometimes I think I’m cursed to date the lamest guys in the world. And with all this merging stuff at work, my new supervisor is worse than a prison warden. Work, work, work. I’m surprised I was able to come here.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stick with your Daddy?” Now, that the Whitneys sold the engineering firm, Jace isn’t wrong—she’s working all the time under new management.
Jace shrugs. “I like the work with the engineers, and I’m good at the job. Plus it pays more. You know, Daddy doesn’t give me any favors. Pfft, I’ll take the pay raise and deal with the crazy boss. He doesn’t even live in the states. He’s based in Ireland for crying out loud.”
“And he’s still that bossy?”
Jace chuckles. “Yeah. Nuts, right?”
I laugh, but it doesn’t last long. Sawyer has inched closer, Marlow nipping at his heels, and he’s finally doing it. The same as his brother, he’s stripping his shirt. I press a hand to my chest, my breaths go weird, all jumpy and gaspy. My body sparks to attention, needy desires lines up like a row of sensual soldiers ready to take charge in a skin-to-skin battle. Ease up, ladies. It is not the time.
I wet my lips, hoping he doesn’t notice. Mylanta, Sawyer is lean with plenty of divots and ripples on his bones to cause a girl to swoon. The plumerias on his shoulder cinch my chest. I don’t want to look lower at his chest. It’ll hurt if the coverup is a new flower, or maybe a hardened skull.
But I do look. It can’t be helped.
My hands go numb and my world turns upside down. There, in big, beautiful letters, the words Until Forever are still inked into his chest. Untouched. Untampered.
Like a fist curls around my middle, I stagger. Not enough anyone notices, but heat floods my cheeks, and I think I might be sick. His eyes find me, he smiles a gentle smile because he knows. How can he not? I haven’t blinked and am utterly stuck gawking at his chest. He kept them. My words.
“He’s a tattoo guy, huh?” Jace says next to me.
I nod, at least I think I do.
“Oh, what are these for?”
Wait, Marlow is touching him again, tracing the plumerias.
Sawyer turns from me and follows her hand. “My sister. She passed away.”
“That is so sad,” Marlow says, but she’s already moved on and has homed in on the words. “Until forever? What does that mean? For your sister, too?”
Sawyer takes a step away from Marlow, eyes locked on me. I can’t move. My heart is about to pound through my chest.
“No,” he says to Marlow, but they’re only about three feet away. “Those were for Dot.”
Marlow’s mouth parts a bit, she flicks her eyes to me. From the corner of my eye, I see Jace’s smile, but it’s as if the beach is fading. No one really matters except Sawyer and what he’s doing. Announcing all this in front of everyone.
“Wait,” Marlow says, confused. “Wait, did you guys, like date or something?”
A step closer. Sawyer hasn’t blinked. I’m pretty sure I’ve stopped breathing. He tilts his head, the sexiest half grin on his lips. “No,” he says softly. “We were engaged.”
There goes my heart—straight out my chest. Our grand secret revealed to everyone we care about. Olive’s arms open wide, she sucks in a gasp of utter shock, eyes wide. Well, all my friends look like Sawyer slapped them across the face, Olive is simply the most vocal. “What!” She shrieks. “What! Engaged? What!”
“How many times are you going to say what, Ollie?” Lily says with a laugh.
“I think it’s about time everyone knew,” Sawyer says.
“Oh?” I gasp. “And, uh, what brought you to that conclusion?”
Sawyer pauses, his index knuckle tilts my chin, so I’m looking at him. “Because out of anything I can think of, being able to say you were going to be mine is the thing I’m most proud of. No reason to keep that a secret.”
Olive fans her face, tears on her cheeks. Jo, bulldog Jo, is smiling and snuggling on Zac’s shoulder. Kyler whispers something to Evie, and I think Jace is about to burst through her skin any second.
Me—I’m not listening to anyone else but him. My fingertips reach out, brush the warm skin of Sawyer’s chest, trace the lines of the words. His face is blurred when I blink my gaze to him. “You kept them.”
“I did.”
“Liar,” I say with a throaty chuckle. He smiles, his hand on my waist, drawing me closer. “Sawyer, we need to leave.”
He lifts a brow. “Why?”
No questions, I want to shout at him. We need to leave if I’m to keep any dignity. “Can we go talk?”
He nods, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. Without a thought spared for anyone else, Sawyer leads us through the crowd as Rosita gets on her megaphone, shouting for a round of sand races. We’ll be skipping those.
Behind a few rocky areas, there is a small cove filled with tide pools. Once we’re there, two things happen: I wheel on Sawyer, then chase the last of the distance between us, my arms flinging around his neck. Sawyer scoops me up, I bury my face in the warmth of his neck, breathing all of him in until my heart stops pounding.
“Dot,” he whispers in my hair.
I squeeze his neck, holding him tighter, and close my eyes against a hot rush of tears. Mad at him? Not trusting him? Pfft. Whatever frustration I’m harboring about his mistakes in all this is brushed to the side for the moment. His arms are too safe, too familiar. Being close, I lose myself in his touch, a bliss I’d nearly forgotten could feel so good. My hands want to wander, my lips want to taste, my legs want to tangle, my . . . well, everything wants every part of this man. The issues still hovering between us will have to stand down for a hot second and let me enjoy this.
Sawyer’s eyes break through me, his focus is intense, and I know all he’s seeing is me. “Dottie, tell me there’s a way you can trust me again.”
My throat is tight and rough like sandpaper. “If you want me, I’d be game for further discussion . . . and a few other things.”
He lets out a shaky breath, one of his strong hands thread through my hair. “If I want you? I want you until forever. I never stopped.”
Sawyer crushes his mouth against mine and the world stops turning. At first the kiss isn’t sweet; it almost hurts with pent up desperation and longing. Teeth smashing together, pinching lips. Soon, we find our groove and he kisses me, sweet and raw. A bit of alpha bursts out of Sawyer Lanford. His hands scoop under my thighs, lifting me onto one of the rocky ledges as he deepens the kiss. How did I live without this? His sweet taste, his clean, woodsy smell. I could live a hundred years and never tire of moments as this. One thing is for sure, I plan to memorize everything about his kisses all over again. As many times as it takes because as they say, practice makes perfect.
Voices come at my back. I don’t care, I don’t stop. Sawyer tugs on my waist, flattening me against his chest. His mouth breaks off mine, kisses my jaw, my neck, back to my mouth. A throat clears.
“I guess y’all are good, then.”
Kyler. I register he’s somewhere, maybe with more spectators, watching me eat his brother’s face for dinner.
Who cares?
Sawyer waves an arm, signaling Kyler to get lost, but manages to keep his mouth to mine. When I put my hands on his cheeks and urge him closer, a soft groan comes from deep in his throat.
There is more to figure out, like where do we go from here? How do we pick up the pieces of what was broken?
But for now, I’m plum happy doing exactly what we’re doing.
Chapter 20
Sawyer
Mist hovers in the early dawn. Gray light breaks with skeins of light-blue and orange as the sun considers rising. Outside on the balcony, the briny mist invigorates the senses, but not more than the sea breeze batting Dot’s scarlet hair around her face.
I hand her a mug of coffee. She thanks me with a grin as I take a seat across the balcony table.
>
We stayed up late, talking, remembering. At one point we fell asleep, her head on my shoulder on the balcony with the waves as our white noise. Still dressed in my swimsuit and T-shirt, Dot still in hers, we might not look put together, but this is the calmest I’ve felt in a year.
She takes a sip and watches the gilded horizon. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Dangerous.”
Her nose wrinkles with a grin. “I think we should date again.”
I take a sip of my coffee. “The way you made out with me last night. I sort of figured that’s where we were heading.”
“I beg your pardon,” she scoffs. “I believe it was you who couldn’t keep those lips off me.”
“Very true.”
She settles back against her patio chair, grinning. “What I mean is going slow. Dating again, not diving headfirst back to the altar. I think after . . . this year, we ought to go slow.”
A burn throbs in my chest. She’s being cautious, and I hate being the reason for the walls between us. “I should’ve talked to you, Dottie,” I whisper. Of the many things we talked about we keep skirting around this. No more avoiding, though. Being vague is what got us into this spot in the first place. “When I saw those pictures, I should’ve come straight to you.”
She hesitates. “You don’t need to apologize again, Sawyer.”
“I do.” I adjust on the chair so I’m facing her. “This broke trust between us. I realize I’m the big one to blame here. This last year, I’ve thought things about you that you never deserved.”
Dot grimaces and studies the smooth dark of her coffee.
I stand and cross the balcony to her, kneeling by her side. I’d like to wring my past self’s neck, but if we’re going to go forward, we need this. All the grimy, uncomfortable, painstaking conversations.
I curl my hand around hers and draw her fingertips to my lips, kissing her there. “No matter how convincing things were in my head, you should’ve been the first person I spoke to. Instead, I closed you out, convinced myself you felt the same as your folks. If I could change it, I would.” I clear my throat. “In a way, though, I’m grateful to have a glimpse at what life would be like without you. It’s a life I don’t want. Ever again.”
