“Please! That bitch ain’t no match for me, Roheem, and you know it,” I said as I stood up.
“And them niggas thought that I was no match for them, but they all ended up getting their ass beat. See you tomorrow, boo,” he cooed.
He came over and kissed me on my cheek then grabbed up one of the boxes. Sidnesha came and picked up the other one. She didn’t even bother saying anything else to me. I think she knew there wasn’t anything she could say or do that would make me become team Normani. I heard her, though, so I was going to try to be on my best behavior tomorrow. I would do it for the sake of my daughter and me not wanting to ruin her big day.
Khari’s big birthday celebration
“Ooohh, Mommy. Look at all those bounce houses. It’s Cinderella, Mama. Oh my gosh, Mommy, I’m so exciteddddd,” my daughter cooed as she sat in her booster seat and looked out of the window.
Everything that she’d asked for had come to life for her birthday. Even before her big brother had his birthday celebration—which I wasn’t able to attend, but I knew all about it, thanks to Khari—she knew that she wanted to have a big birthday celebration this year when she would turn six years old. My daughter was obsessed with anything Disney, but she mainly loved Cinderella, so it was no surprise that she asked for a magical, Cinderella-themed birthday party.
My mama was driving, I was sitting in the passenger seat, and both my daughters were in the backseat. As we pulled up, we could hear the DJ blasting music, which had Rylo and Khari dancing in their seats. Khari had to make her grand entrance, and as I looked at the biggest pavilion, it was filled with so many people who had come out to celebrate this big day with her. There were so many children running around, in the bounce houses, on the ponies, riding the train, or face painting, which was just half the things that Khari had asked for.
Out of all the cars that were parked, it’s funny how my baby daddy’s Porsche stood out. His car was parked toward the front, and because it was such a nice-looking car with the big, spinning rims, of course, it stood out more than any other vehicle there. Or maybe it was I made a point to search the lot for his car once we pulled up.
I looked out, examining all the kids running around, and all I could think was that my daughter had to have invited every damn kid that she’d ever met in her life. There were just too many children there. I really hoped that we’d made enough candy bags last night because I wasn’t expecting a turn out this big. Khari had to have been sneaking some of those invitations with her when school was still in session. This looked like a mini summer camp with all those bad ass kids out there.
“I see it, mama. All of this is for you,” I cooed to my daughter.
She was dancing in her seat, excited and eager to get out and start enjoying her party. My mom parked the car, and the two of us got out first. Since there were child safety locks on the back doors, we had to help the girls get out. I sighed, just trying to catch my breath because the smallest things these days would have a bitch out of breath. I would have agreed to make this my last pregnancy, but I wanted a son, so I wouldn’t even say that this would be the last baby that I toted.
What I did know is that I didn’t plan to have any more babies any time soon. The next nigga who shot this club up, I swear to God there had to be a ring on my finger because my circumstances right now were just fucked up when it came to all my children’s father. Yeah, Billion could continue having the title of being Khari’s dad, but the truth of the matter is that my baby daddy for all three of my kids was in prison, serving multiple life sentences.
When I heard the news about Reggie, I screamed. It wasn’t an angry scream either. That scream was of happiness because that fuck nigga had gotten exactly what his ass deserved. I wanted nothing to do with that nigga, and I didn’t want anyone reaching out to me on his behalf, trying to have a relationship with my kids, not even his damn mama. I knew that if I had any kind of relationship with her, she would go behind my back and send pictures of my kids to him, and I didn’t want that at all.
Rylo and Khari were both aware of why I had been in the hospital and who was responsible for sending me there. As a result, neither of them wanted anything to do with Reggie. I was surprised that Rylo had made it clear that she didn’t want a relationship with her father because that little girl loved that man to pieces. About a month ago, when I was still doing my therapy, Rylo caught me limping around the room. She actually looked me in my eyes and told me that she hated her father for what he had done to me. I heard the hate in her tone, so I knew she actually meant it.
“Let me just put on your little crown, and then we can go,” I told Khari as I reached into the backseat and grabbed her pink and gold Cinderella crown.
Khari had lived up to the theme of her birthday party and dressed up as a princess. I had tried to talk this little girl out of dressing like this a thousand times because I told her that she would get her dress dirty, but she insisted. Her crown was finally on, and she grabbed my hand into her small one. I heard the DJ start spinning that old school, Happy Birthday, by Stevie Wonder as Khari made her grand entrance into the party.
This little girl was smiling from ear to ear and soaking up all the attention that she was getting from everyone. She eventually let my hand go, and she ran right for her dad. Billion squatted down low to get her, and once she ran into his arms, he lifted her into the air. My eyes left from them and landed on his wife, who was standing right beside him. She was smiling big, with her phone in her hand as she recorded them greeting each other. She was pregnant too, so her bump showed, but it was nowhere as big as mine.
This sweet looking girl didn’t have no fuckin’ business with Billion, but if they liked it, then I loved it. I stopped looking at her because I knew that people were more than likely watching me, and I didn’t want to give the wrong impression, although it was true that I didn’t like this bitch.
I went around, speaking to everybody, giving hugs here and there, and by the time I did all that, I was ready to sit my ass down and kick my feet up. I had promised myself that I wasn’t going to overdo it today because I didn’t need my feet swelling, and I didn’t want to get home later and have backaches.
From where I was sitting, I could see Khari in the bounce house, holding up her dress as she jumped up and down with the rest of the kids. My mom came over to where I was and handed me a bottle of water, then she went back to hanging out with some of her friends. Eventually, Billion came over, holding a Corona bottle in his hands. As the days went by, this nigga just got finer and finer. It was summer in Miami, so it was hot as hell out. Billion was dressed in a pair of gray Jordan basketball shorts with a gray and white Jordan shirt, and a pair of cool gray Jordan sneakers were on his feet. The shirt just fit his body so perfectly, and I took the time to appreciate the view. He had a towel wrapped around his neck that he was using to wipe his sweat. He had been on daddy duty and was running around with all the kids.
“You straight?” he asked.
This was really the first time that he and I had been around each other since he came to my house a couple of weeks ago and cursed me out for disrespecting his bitch. I was honestly surprised that he’d come over and said anything because I had him so pissed the last time we were around one another. Lately, he had been on his grown man, mature shit, because the old Billion would have just ignored my very existence.
“I’m good. I just don’t want to overdo it with too much,” I let him know, and he nodded.
“I dreamed about this shit when I was locked up. I knew this year, my son would be turning eleven, and my baby girl would be turning six. I used to be in my cell, saying that for their birthdays this year, I wasn’t going to spare shit because I had already missed out on the last five. My daughter is in that bounce house, and she’s having the time of her life. I’m just glad this wasn’t one of those things that I had to hear about over the phone, and I actually got the chance to be in attendance and witness the shit for myself. That lil girl is so perfect, man. S
ometimes I just wish that you had kept that secret to yourself. Sometimes I wish that I never even knew the truth,” Billion told me.
That shit made me feel so bad. I knew he would probably never forgive me for lying to him. When he came over to my house a couple of weeks ago and went off on me, I swear it was deeper than me being rude to his bitch over the phone. He was also reacting to the lie he found out about who Khari belonged to. I could tell he didn’t want to get into that shit, so he just walked away.
My eyes followed him as he went over to where his wife, parents, and a few of his homeboys were. Normani was talking to his mom, but Billion took a seat on one of the picnic tables and pulled her into his lap. My eyes left them and went over to Sidnesha, who was standing a little bit ducked off by the trees with her fiancé. They were too busy shoving their tongues down each other’s throat that they weren’t even in tune with what was going on. Everybody out there had somebody who they were loving and somebody loving them back. I swear, I couldn’t wait until I had my chance at love again.
“Baby, I’m about to go use the restroom. I’ll be right back,” I told my husband as I stood up from the table.
We were here at Khari’s birthday party, and this had to have been my fourth time going to the restroom. The good thing about the pavilion we were in was that the restrooms weren’t that far of a walk. We’d just sang happy birthday to Khari, and now, everyone was sitting around, eating birthday cake. Most of the kids were on the dance floor, doing the new dances as the DJ was spun track after track. I looked at what some of these kids were doing with these new dances, and I wouldn’t even attempt because half the things they were doing, just looked so complicated. I could barely do a quick little two-step, so I knew I wouldn’t stand a chance with what they were doing.
I stood up and brushed down the yellow shorts romper I was wearing. My husband had told me a while back that he loved when I wore yellow, so I made it a habit to put some yellow on my beautiful, chocolate skin every chance I got. Because we were at an outside birthday party, I didn’t try to do anything out of the ordinary with my hair; I just pulled it into a tight bun. I only wore just a bit of foundation today, I did my lashes, and I wore gloss. I wore gold sandals, which showed off the perfect pedicure that I’d gotten yesterday evening after work.
“I’ll go with you. I wanna go too,” Khari said, looking up from the cake she was eating.
Her adorable princess dress was filthy from all the playing and the sweets she had been eating. She got up from her chair and rushed over to grab my hand. I kissed my husband, letting him know that we would be back, and then Khari and I walked toward the restroom.
“I’m having so much fun, Normani,” Khari cooed as she let go of my hand and walked a little faster, getting in front of me.
“I know you are. I can tell by your dress,” I joked as I pointed at her beautiful, pink and gold Cinderella dress.
She no longer had the crown on her head that she entered the party with, and her bun was barely holding on. Once we made it into the restroom, I would put some water in her hair and use the tiny edge brush that I had in my little pouch to fix up her hair a little bit, because this little girl was playing so wild. She laughed at what I said, and then we walked into the restroom.
As badly as I had to pee, I walked into the first stall and got her prepped first, so she could go. I set down multiple toilet paper sheets around the toilet seat, and because her dress was so long, I had to assist her. Khari squatted down and used the restroom while I waited.
“Go over to the sink and wash your hands. Don’t leave Khari,” I told her as I used my foot to flush the toilet.
“I won’t,” she told me.
I watched as she went over to the sink and washed her hands. No longer able to hold my pee, I went into the same stall that she’d used. I did the pee dance, as I fought to get the zipper on the side of the romper off. The zipper had gotten stuck, and I just knew that I was about to embarrass myself by pissing my pants, but eventually, I got the zipper down, then the romper, and I released what felt like buckets of urine into the toilet.
“You still there, Khari?” I asked.
“Right here, Normani,” her sweet voice called out.
I finished and wiped myself.
“Still there?” I asked again as I pulled up my romper.
I didn’t get a response this time.
“Khari?” I called her name, and again, she didn’t answer.
All I could think about was Mexico, so I quickly swung open the bathroom stall door. Khari was no longer standing by the sinks where she originally was. I rushed out of the restroom, searched the area, and didn’t see her. Khari had a bad habit of wandering off. Whenever we went to the mall, park, or anything, we had to keep a close eye on her. Khari also had a crazy sense of humor because she watched a lot of YouTube videos where people did pranks, so in turn, she liked to pull pranks on people too.
“Khari?” I yelled her name a little louder this time, and she still didn’t answer.
I was definitely in panic mode now as I rushed over to the pavilion, hands shaking as I had to tell my husband that I didn’t know where his daughter was. Billion was going to go ballistic on me. When I reached him, he was standing by all of the gifts that Khari had gotten for the day and was more than likely getting ready to load them in different cars because they all couldn’t fit in his.
“Fuck did you do? Run over here? Where Khari at? I want to show her something,” he said.
“Billion, I don’t know where she’s at—”
“What the fuck you mean you don’t know where she’s at?” he barked at me, and at the same time, he was looking over toward the restroom, trying to search that area from where we stood.
He just took off running, and that’s when everybody kind of realized what was going on and took off in opposite directions, looking for Khari. God, I just hoped she had wandered off, and no one had grabbed her up.
I walked as fast as my body would allow me to as big tears fell from my eyes. Knowing this was all my fault, I scanned the area, looking in different directions to see if I could spot Khari. I felt myself about to have a panic attack. The only thing I kept thinking about was being thrown into the back of that white van, and I was hoping the same thing hadn’t happened with Khari.
This park was huge, and there were so many places she could have been. I was standing over by the stalls when suddenly, I looked up, and all I saw was that pink and gold princess dress on Khari as she ran my way, so carefree. She was happy and didn’t have a clue in the world how she’d just scared the shit out of me and everyone else. I fell back onto the ground, put my back against the wall, and pulled my knees up as I tried to catch my breath.
“Normani, that’s my friend’s party over there. She’s having a Little Mermaid party,” Khari excitedly said, like nothing had just happened.
I looked up at her with tears in my eyes because she’d scared me shitless. When she saw that I was crying, her little eyes saddened.
“Why did you run off, Khari? I told you not to leave,” I said.
At the same time, her father walked up, and he glared at me, with a pissed off look on his face. I had never seen him look at me like that. His eyes went to his daughter, and he pulled her to him. By now, Khari seemed to have realized what was going on. She more than likely saw that running off had made her dad angry with me, so she quickly explained herself.
“Daddy, don’t be mad at Normani. She told me not to leave the restroom, but I didn’t listen. When I was waiting for Normani to finish up in the bathroom, I looked over there at that party and saw my friend from school. I ran over there to say hi,” Khari said.
Many of the people from Khari’s birthday party had come over, and they were just glad that Khari had been found. I looked up and saw Denim waddling over, and I sighed, already knowing how things were about to go. She walked over to Khari, literally snatched her up, and placed her behind her.
“Since you probably won’t say
anything to your bitch, I’ll go ahead and handle it. I don’t want you around my fuckin’ child ever again! Yeah, she came back, but this shit could have ended way different! She could have been in the back of somebody’s fuckin’ truck right now. Billion, don’t you fuckin’ dare try to quiet me down because let this had been me who couldn’t find Khari, you would have been jumping down my fuckin’ throat by now! How the fuck you let a six-year-old get out of your fuckin’ sight?” Denim screamed at me.
Khari was crying, and I was biting so hard on my lip, trying to calm myself down to keep from acting a fool and shocking everyone out there.
“Denim, walk the fuck away, yo! Now ain’t the fuckin’ time! I’ll handle my wife how the fuck I see fit! It damn sure ain’t going to be in front of you or nobody else for that fuckin’ matter. Get the fuck on, yo!” Billionaire spat to Denim.
“Are you fuckin’ this bitch, or is she fuckin’ you is the question because you letting this lil’ hoe get away with murder! I know that if Khari got out of sight when she was with me, I would have been every bit of an unfit mother from you—”
“Bitch, because you are an unfit mother!” I snapped, unwilling to take any more disrespect from her ass.
“What mother talks like this in front of their child? Should I have done something differently? Yes! I probably should have kept her in the stall with me, but at the same time, I didn’t fuckin’ expect her to run off! You needed a reason today to disrespect me, so now you have it, but the thing is, I’m not going to continue to listen to you talk to me like you don’t have any damn sense! I won’t be too many bitches, Denim! Just please, go! Your daughter is found, so please get the fuck out of my face!” I screamed at her with tears falling because I was pissed. I was so angry with myself, and I didn’t need her to blame this all on me.
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