“I’ll tell him, though it’s hardly necessary. He would have done it regardless.”
“I know. That’s what makes it so remarkable.”
“I’m glad you noticed that.” Kaleana went to an easel that stood in front of the bay windows. “If you like, I can show you how to paint. You might like it. The sense of self-expression is amazing.”
“No, thanks. I think I need to reassure the others I’m fine. Besides, I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re never an intruder here, but I think you’re right about the boys. Have a good morning.”
“I will. Thanks, Kaleana. I mean it.”
A few minutes later, he was in the theater room, watching a virtual dance tournament between Rufus, Tony, Nick, and Carson. Stuart sat next to Will, making sure he had fun. Will smiled and laughed with everyone. Between Carson’s conservative attempts at mimicking the moves on the screen, Rufus’s bulk tripping over the steps as he kept time with the thumping of the speakers, and Tony and Nick’s uninhibited exuberance, it wasn’t difficult. It was the perfect distraction from the fact that he owed his life to a man he barely knew.
“I hope I’m not too late.” Malcolm strode into the kitchen, and Kaleana followed. They were all seated around the table, grabbing sandwiches from a platter in the middle.
“I thought an Alpha was always right on time.” Nick wore a cheeky grin.
“True.” Malcolm sat and took a sandwich while Jess brought him a glass of milk.
“Were you able to smooth everything over?”
Will knew Tony didn’t intend his question to be accusatory at all, but Will couldn’t help feeling that an awful lot of trouble had been stirred up on his account.
Malcolm nodded curtly. “It wasn’t a problem. Everyone’s blood work came back normal. There was no reason for us to stay.”
“S-s-s-so everything’s fine?”
Malcolm took Stu’s hand. “Yes, everything’s fine. Don’t worry. In fact”—Malcolm sat back in his chair—“we’re due a celebration. I expect you all to be in a proper cheery mood for dinner tonight. I hear Marcy has something special planned.”
Will thought Malcolm was more tightly wound than any of them. He simply hid it better. But Will could see the strain around his eyes and in the way he held his mouth. Will wondered who besides Kaleana took care of him.
“That I have, and I won’t tolerate any worrying ruining your appetites.” Marcy wore a mock scowl.
Smiles flashed all around the table. It didn’t take long for them to strike up the usual mealtime banter. Things were finally back to normal.
Will looked around the table. Over the last weeks, he’d collected everyone’s stories. He knew that Stuart hadn’t been born with his stutter. It had developed when his previous Alpha demanded things of him that weren’t worth thinking about. Rufus’s hearing had been taken by a virus that had swept his home nation and should have killed him. Tony’s stroke had revealed the true colors of an Alpha he had thought cared for him. And Nick’s hand had been lost during a freak accident. Remarkably, he held no ill will toward the Alpha who had decided he didn’t want a one-handed Zed. Each of them had been in distress when Malcolm found them. If Malcolm hadn’t shown up when he did, each of them would be dead. They either would have been put down after their month up for sale, or they would have been sold to an Alpha who would have worked or tortured them to death. There was no other reason to buy a Zed in such condition.
None except to play house.
This wasn’t play, though. Will felt genuine love in the air, all centered around this one man who had asked for nothing in return but love. And a beating. Will didn’t understand. The experience of the past weeks convinced him that Malcolm had made the request in a moment of weakness. Something in him needed it, and it was the only way Will could think to repay him. He had to at least try. There was no doubt in his mind he would fail, but this way Malcolm would know he didn’t despise him for the request. It would clear the air between them and serve as some small token of the gratitude Will felt, not just for yesterday, but for it all.
“Kaleana? Do you have a minute?” Lunch was finished, and they all sat around the table digesting.
She looked to Malcolm, and he nodded.
“Sure. What can I do for you?”
“Can we go someplace private? Like the sunroom?”
“Of course.” She led the way and sat next to him on the sofa. “What is it?”
“I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“I’ll certainly try.”
“Malcolm was serious, wasn’t he? About the beating? He really wanted it.”
Wariness entered Kaleana’s eyes. “Yes, but I told you he wouldn’t bother you with it again.”
“I know. You said you’re the only one who knows about this need of his. Have you ever done it?”
Kaleana’s lips pursed.
“I don’t mean to pry.”
“Yes, I used to. He hasn’t let me since…well, not for a while.”
“Why?”
“Guilt. He doesn’t like putting that on me even though I don’t mind.”
“He needs it though. I saw it in his face that night. A man as controlled as he is doesn’t crack over something that doesn’t matter.”
“You’re right.”
Will took a deep breath. He couldn’t back out after he told Kaleana what he wanted. “I’d like to offer to do that for him. I don’t know why I’m the only one he’s told, but it puts me in a unique position to be able to thank him for what he’s done. I’ve been thinking all day of what I could do for him, and this is the only thing he’s ever asked of me. Other than to be on time to meals of course, but punctuality is hardly a fitting thanks, especially when I get such good food for my trouble.” He smiled, trying to ease the awkwardness.
“That’s sweet, Will, but you don’t have to.”
“I know. That’s why I want to.”
“I doubt he’d let you.”
“I figured you’d know how to approach him. I don’t want him to be embarrassed or ashamed, and after my reaction before, I’m worried that’s all he’ll feel. There’s no reason for it. Shit, after what he saw us put through yesterday, he shouldn’t ever feel embarrassed in front of us.”
“You really want to do this? Don’t start it if you can’t follow through. Assuming you get him to agree, it’d devastate him to lay himself bare to you only to have you turn away.”
“I know. I promise, Kaleana. I can do this.”
“If you hurt him, Will, he’ll forgive you, but I won’t.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.”
Kaleana narrowed her eyes, searching his face for a long moment. He didn’t know what she looked for, but she must have found it. “All right. What do you need to know?”
“Everything.”
15
Fifteen
Malcolm pushed the conversation with Geneticist Reynolds to the back of his mind. He’d ordered the boys to be cheery; he owed it to them to try himself. They relaxed in the lounge after a ridiculous dinner of all their favorite dishes. Marcy had laid out various miniature desserts, all of her specialties, on the coffee table. She always had a soft spot for the boys, and it increased tenfold after Eval. He had tried to find her Zed daughter for her once, but the system the Geneticists had in place guaranteed that even he wouldn’t be able to find her. It would never work if Betas could find the children who had been taken from them. Perhaps, when there wasn’t so much attention on him, he’d try again. He’d learned, developed new contacts since his last attempt.
What was he thinking? Marcy’s child was long dead. He couldn’t save her anymore than he could save any of them. None of it was in his control.
There’d be repercussions for his actions yesterday. They wouldn’t be immediate, and he didn’t know what they’d be, but it wasn’t possible to defy the Geneticists and not face some consequences. For now, everything seemed fine, but he didn’t count on it
lasting.
The consequences to himself were not a problem. There was nothing the Geneticists could do to hurt him. The boys were another matter. More than that, he’d drawn unnecessary attention to himself. The increased scrutiny could endanger everything he was trying to accomplish. Despite all that, he didn’t regret a moment of what he’d done.
Yes, he did.
He regretted not breaking Stanton’s perfect nose.
“Now, now, Malcolm. No brooding. Your rules.”
“You’re right, Tony. I’m sorry.” Malcolm looked around him to see that everyone’s eyes were on him. So much for putting on a cheery air. “So what shall it be tonight? Cards? A movie in the theater room?”
He hoped a movie would win out. Normally, he didn’t like the boys wasting their time in the theater. He had nothing against films. He just wanted them to have a life and not hide away from anything by letting themselves go numb in front of a screen. His hypocrisy astounded even himself.
“How about you play for us, Malcolm? It’s been months.” Syrus’s request caused a stir.
“Yeah, Malcolm. Let’s take the food down there. Will’s never even heard you play,” Nick said.
“If we’re voting, my vote’s for the piano.” Rufus’s fascination with his piano playing had always amused Malcolm.
The problem with playing the piano was that it would force Malcolm to fully participate in the evening. He wouldn’t be able to retreat into his thoughts. He wondered if that was why Syrus had suggested it. Years of knowing Syrus had convinced Malcolm that he often knew what he needed better than he did. If it had been anyone else’s suggestion, he would have brushed it off.
“All right, if you’re really that eager to hear my attempts at music, I’ll oblige.”
Stu jumped up to help Tony collect the food trays, and they trooped downstairs.
His piano sat at the end of the long ballroom that spanned the back of the house. The room had a certain old-world elegance that Malcolm enjoyed. The mirrors lining the walls gave it the appearance of being larger than it was. Sitting at the end of the room behind the piano, Malcolm could lose himself in its vastness and surrender himself to the music flowing from his hands until the emotion of the melody overtook his own feelings.
“All right, what’s it to be?” Malcolm took his place on the bench, making room for Stu to join him.
“How about something we can sing to? One of the folk songs.” Tony served up the punch Carson had carried down from the lounge.
Malcolm nodded and placed his fingers on the familiar keys. No matter how long it had been, his fingers always knew what to do, as long as he didn’t let his brain get in the way. A folk song. Something happy.
After a few bars of introduction, Kaleana and the boys began to sing. The lyrics told the story of the first settlers to cultivate New Cali after the Great Destruction. All around him, Malcolm saw smiling faces. Laughter punctuated the song as lyrics were missed and notes sung out of tune. Rufus sat on the floor, leaning his head against the piano box, a hand flat on the ground. Malcolm wondered what he felt in the vibrations, how the nuances of the different notes played to a man who could only feel.
Without missing a beat, Malcolm flowed right into an old ragtime favorite. From there, he went into a drinking song that had been popular when he’d first left home to venture out on his own. On and on, the songs came to him until he lost track of time. He’d missed this. Tomorrow, he should make time to play by himself, the melancholy songs he shouldn’t share with the boys on what needed to be a festive occasion.
“All right. That’s it. Time for bed.” Malcolm had run out of songs. Syrus yawned in his chair. Carson and Tony leaned against each other. They’d sung the last song with their eyes closed. Nick had been dancing the entire time, but if Malcolm waited for him to tire, they’d be there all night. How one man could possess so much energy no matter the circumstance or hour mystified him.
“Awww. Just one more. Please.” Stu jutted his bottom lip out in a horrible attempt at a pout.
It’d been a long time since he’d heard Stu speak without a stutter. The speech impediment tended to fade the happier and more secure Stu felt, though it was rare for him to ever speak without any hesitation. Malcolm couldn’t deny him, not when it’d been so long.
“All right. One more. What would you like?”
“A ballad. And you sing this time.”
He preferred to leave the singing to the boys, in part because they all stopped to listen when he joined in. Far too much attention for his taste. Nick was already sitting, focusing on Malcolm.
Without even thinking, his fingers began to play a song he’d fallen in love with as a child. It was the story of forbidden love between an Alpha and Zed who ran away to brave the Wastelands by themselves, surviving on their love and wits.
As Malcolm sang, Stu rested his head on his shoulder. The weight warmed his heart, reminded him that he wasn’t alone, that he had responsibilities, and that the boys counted on him. In moments like these, the responsibility didn’t scare him—it gave him his only sense of purpose.
Kaleana met his gaze and joined in, singing the part of the Zed. She’d been with him the day he’d first heard the song. She knew who he had dreamt of when he sang the song to himself as a young man. In her eyes, he saw the depths of his soul reflected back to him.
During her solo, Kaleana closed her eyes, and Malcolm’s gaze drifted to Will sitting beside her. His fingers stumbled, recovering quickly enough that no one was likely to notice. Will’s green eyes were pure fire but not the wild orange blaze Malcolm was used to seeing in him. No, they emanated the deep intensity of a blue flame.
Thank the Spark that fire hadn’t been extinguished at Eval. Malcolm didn’t think Will even realized the strength he possessed. He hoped he’d be able to witness him grow into it, see him settle into a sense of who he was, and recognize what he had to offer the world once he no longer felt the need to fear. Someday, if Malcolm did his job in providing a safe environment, Will would let go of his frustrations and accept peace. Malcolm couldn’t wait to see what kind of man he’d become on that day and where his passion would take him.
Malcolm finished the song. The last note lingered in the air, suspended in time. Then it faded, and the spell broke. The boys stirred, and Malcolm removed his hands from the keys and patted Stu’s knee.
“There. You got your wish.”
Stu’s sleepy smile made Malcolm feel he must have done something right.
“Thanks.”
“Of course.” Malcolm kissed the top of his head. Stu stood, stretching his gangly limbs.
“Goodnight.” Tony kissed him on the cheek on his way out. The rest of them followed, murmuring goodnights as they left.
Will was the last to leave. There was something different in his demeanor. He seemed more settled. When Stanton had made his demand yesterday, it had scared Malcolm in a way he hadn’t felt since he was a young boy. In that moment when he’d stared down the Geneticist, he’d wondered if he had failed Will. He didn’t know what he’d have done if Stanton hadn’t backed down.
No, he knew. He’d have fought. He’d have gotten himself arrested. Then what would have happened to the others? It worried him how easily he would have endangered all of them for Will’s sake. If it had been anyone else, even Kaleana, Malcolm would have been just as upset, but he would have been more rational, more measured in his response. It had only been Kaleana’s voice urging caution that had kept him from taking action that would have ended in disaster.
At least his actions appeared to have given Will a sense of security. That didn’t please him for his own sake. What Will thought of him didn’t matter, but he did take his responsibility toward the Zeds in his care seriously. As horrible as the previous day had been, perhaps it had been a necessary first step toward Will healing from a lifetime of trauma.
Or at least that was what he told himself. Otherwise, it was too difficult to resist the urge to personally destroy Stanton
, Reynolds, Walken, Nicodemus, and all the rest of the Geneticists.
16
Sixteen
Will had planned to leave the ballroom first and make his way to Malcolm’s bedroom. However, Malcolm’s last song was so haunting that Will had sat transfixed by it afterward. To be able to manipulate the notes in such a way revealed a tremendous talent. Out of all the songs Malcolm had performed, the last one seemed to be the only one injected with a bit of the man. The way he and Kaleana sang it together spoke of a deep bond forged over time. It had the unexpected affect of stirring a mixture of longing and something Will could only name as jealousy. He’d never experienced such a connection to another human being.
Malcolm sat behind the piano as if he intended to stay a bit longer, so Will hoped his plan wouldn’t be discovered. As soon as the door closed after him, he made his way to Malcolm’s room as quickly as he could without drawing attention. It was easier to find this time. Once inside, he sat in a black leather chair in the shadows of the far corner and waited.
He had no idea how long Malcolm would be. Each passing minute increased his nerves. Earlier, when he was with Malcolm and Kaleana and the others, his plan had been so firmly in his mind. It had made sense. He’d been sure of his course. Every tick of the clock stole a bit of his confidence until he almost resolved to leave. The only thing that stopped him was the fear of being seen by Malcolm leaving his room.
The clacking of Malcolm’s shoes on the marble approached. Will stood and took a deep breath. It didn’t help. His hands shook at his sides, and he clenched his fists to still the movement. The door opened, and Malcolm entered.
Without a pause, he strode to the closet, unbuttoning his sleeves. Will deflated. This was hardly the response he’d anticipated. He didn’t know what to do. Should he speak? Step forward?
Malcolm exited the closet barefoot and bare-chested, tying the drawstring that held up his low-slung black cotton pants. The sight of his perfectly toned chest perked Will’s cock, in spite of his nerves. Curse his damn libido. It wouldn’t help anything. Besides, he’d seen plenty of perfect chests in his time serving Alphas. He should be immune. Then again, he’d never felt like this around an Alpha. Perhaps the fact that Malcolm was unaware of his presence, wasn’t forcing himself upon Will, made the difference. Whatever it was, Will liked it.
[In Distress 01.0] In Distress Page 11
