“Thank you so much for asking. I’d like to bring your attention to a new product we’re offering. Laser teeth whitening. Works like a dream. Your teeth will look amazing. And since you guys are so awesome, I can even offer you a special deal. One tooth-whitening session and a filling—all for one low price. Sadly, we’ll have to leave out the Novocain, but you guys can handle that, right?” Five steps from the door; she’d nearly made it.
“Cute, Donna, very cute. You have a certain reputation in Kilby. You’re known as a party girl.”
Three steps. “That was in my younger days. I’m a hardworking dental receptionist now, and I’m about to be late for work. If you’d like to speak further about the tooth whitening, let me explain how it works. We strap you into a chair, prop your mouth open, and aim a high-powered beam of light into your mouth. Sure, there’s a risk, but all good things come with a price, you know?”
“Is it true you met Mike Solo at a bar? How can you claim you’re no longer a party girl when you were involved in a brawl there just last year?”
The door. Right there in front of her. Open it. Ignore them. Go inside.
“Is this controversy hard on you, given your history of depression?”
“What?”
Luckily, just then Ricki, the billing clerk, hurried up behind her and pushed the door open. “You coming in, Donna?”
Numbly, she nodded and followed Ricki inside. Shaking, in shock, she slipped into the bathroom and called Karen Griswold, the lawyer. “My hospital records are private, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“A photographer just asked me about my history of depression. It happened one time, and it was pregnancy-related! That’s not a history, is it?”
“Hmm. Looks like someone’s flinging dirt around. Don’t say a word to anyone. You hear me? I’ll do some digging.”
The next time she arrived at the Hannigans’ house to pick up Zack, Harvey’s Pathfinder was parked outside. Strange, because they usually tried to avoid running into each other during their Zack pickups. It just made everything awkward.
She hurried up the front path, anxious to see Zack. The last time she’d seen him had been at the baseball game where the photographer had accosted them. Not the happiest memory, although Mike had hit his fifth homer of the year and the Catfish had won 5–2.
God, this baseball thing was really taking over her brain.
Rapping on the front door, she noticed that there was no small figure waiting behind the drapes in the living room. Zack must be in his bedroom. Harvey answered the door, then slipped outside to join her on the front walk.
“What are you doing? Where’s Zack?”
“He’s inside with Bonita. They’re making cookies.”
“I thought Bonita didn’t eat sugar.”
“They’re using stevia.”
Donna made a face. That was one way to make sure your kid didn’t eat too many cookies. “How long are they going to be? This is my time with Zack, and I wanted to take him to see the new white tiger at the zoo. You know how much he loves that stuff.”
“Well, see, that’s the thing.” Harvey shuffled uncomfortably. Under his new Wrangler jeans, he was barefoot. His Western-cut shirt was misaligned by one shell-inlaid button; how had Bonita missed that? “You can’t have Zack today.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Because of all the controversy over your new boyfriend.”
“Fiancé,” Donna said automatically.
“Yeah. Makes it even worse.”
“The controversy is over the PSA he did, but it has nothing to do with Zack.”
A dull flush came and went from Harvey’s neck. She wondered what it meant, since Harvey had never been the best at expressing his opinions. “Bonita says it’s an unhealthy environment for a four-year-old boy. The judge agreed.”
“Unhealthy . . . what do they mean?”
Harvey took her by the elbow and guided her down the front path, away from the house. “Donna, come on. The blogs, the photographers, the headlines. Bonita’s upset because you said the word ‘ho’ in front of Zack.”
“Hound! I said, hound!” Weak response, and she knew it. “A hoe is also a garden tool. It’s not such a bad word.”
“Zack called Bonita a ho when she gave him Cheerios instead of Frosted Flakes.”
Donna couldn’t hold back a spurt of nervous laughter. “You know he hates Cheerios. She should know that too.”
“This isn’t a joke. You turn everything into a joke, but Bonita’s serious about this. She didn’t want to take it so far, but she believed she had to.”
“Oh my God. Is she the one . . . did you tell her about the depression . . .”
The sheepish look that crept across his face told her all she needed to know. “I can’t believe you did that,” she whispered. “You know it has nothing to do with what’s going on now.”
“Are you so sure, Donna? What if stress brings it on? Bonita looked it up. Could happen. We both have to think about Zack’s best interests.”
Zack’s best interests. He’d never used that phrase before in his life. Obviously, all of this was coming from Bonita.
Flashes of heat crashed through her body. All the helplessness from that time in the hospital came flooding back. Things slipping away. Decisions taken out of her hands. “You said you’d never talk about it. You swore.”
“Things have changed.” He wouldn’t quite meet her eyes.
“But we agreed.” She cast around for something, some weapon. “What if everyone knew you wanted me to get an abortion?”
“Yeah? Are you going to tell the newspapers that part? How would Zack feel if he heard?”
Horrified, she stared at him. “Bonita has this all plotted out, doesn’t she? Or have you suddenly developed an evil genius brain? Harvey, this isn’t you. I know this isn’t you.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched; his gaze slid away from hers.
“Why is Bonita so set on getting Zack? Why does it matter so much to her? Just tell me that, so maybe I can understand.”
Harvey hunched his shoulders. “All her sisters have kids. She’s the only one who doesn’t. It’s hard on her, being left out. She started bringing Zack around her family and they all think he’s great. That’s when she got the idea. It’s good for Zack, being part of the posse.”
The Wade posse? How would that be good?
She picked up his hand and held it in both of hers. “Harvey, listen to me. I get that Bonita wants a family. I know you love her. But look how far she’s taking this. Is it in Zack’s best interests to be raised by someone who would dig into a person’s past medical history and twist it around? Someone who would betray secrets and break promises? Is that the kind of person you really want to be Zack’s mother? I might joke around, but I would never do any of those things.”
Still, he wouldn’t look at her. Tension vibrated between them. A delivery truck drove past, furniture on the way to someone’s new home. So hopeful. A puff of diesel exhaust hovered in the air. Donna wanted to stop time right where it was, balanced in a place where she still had a chance to change Harvey’s mind.
She saw him waver, saw uncertainty take hold. “Please, Harvey,” she whispered. “We need to work together, not shut each other out. You’re his father. You’re the one who should make the decisions, not Bonita.”
He pulled his hands away from her. Damn it, she’d overplayed her point.
“It’s already done, Donna. The judge issued an emergency ruling.”
“What?” She actually felt dizzy for a second, as if she might faint.
“They sent the order over to your place but I guess you missed it.”
She hadn’t been at her own apartment for a couple of days, ever since she’d watched the PSA with Mike. She’d spent last night with him, then gone str
aight to work, then come here. “You can’t do this. Please.”
“You have a lawyer, Donna. It’s not like you’re helpless.”
He turned his back on her and loped back to the front door, with his slow, minimal-effort stride.
“What are you going to tell Zack?” Donna called after him. Her heart ached at the thought that her little boy might think she was ignoring him. “Can you at least tell him something . . . not horrible?”
“We’ll him you’re not feeling well.”
“Fine,” she choked. It was true, after all, even though she’d never canceled a date with Zack before. She never got sick . . . except for that one time, four years ago, when she couldn’t keep anything down and her world went so dark.
In desperate need of a quiet place to get a grip on her emotions, she drove to the Kilby Zoo, where she had planned to bring Zack. Taj, the zoo’s new white tiger, had finally arrived. His large enclosure held a cavelike area where he could snooze in privacy. Benches lined the outside of the fence, along with frequent posted warnings not to feed the tiger or put any part of your body through the fence.
She settled onto one of the benches, from which she could just get a glimpse of Taj napping in his cave. The tiger’s mighty head lay peacefully on his white paws. His coloring was almost ethereal, a splash of illumination in the darkness of the pen. She watched him for a while, thinking that Zack might find Taj a little boring after all. Weren’t tigers supposed to roar and pounce on their prey? What use was a tiger who just napped in the shade?
When she finally felt ready for a coherent conversation, she took out her phone and dialed Ms. Griswold.
“I know,” the lawyer said before she could utter a word. “Emergency order. What a backstabbing move. The next time I see Judge Quinn, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.”
“Shouldn’t you have been there? How can they do that without my lawyer present?”
“I had a conflict,” she said vaguely. “Sorry, doll. You know I care, but you don’t pay the bills.”
A pro bono charity case didn’t rate, apparently, even when her entire life was falling apart. “So they just went ahead and stopped me from seeing my kid? How is that fair?”
“Child’s best interests, Donna. I’m sorry.” The lawyer was obviously trying to gentle her voice, but succeeded only marginally. “The media attention changed everything. Paparazzi in Kilby—who thought we’d ever see the day? It’s kind of a thrill, knowing that the next time I make a statement on your behalf I might end up on YouTube.”
“A thrill?”
“Sorry. Poor phrasing. What I meant was that the presence of all these photographers has changed the landscape. It gave them an opening to make the case that you’re an unfit mother.”
Donna’s palm was so sweaty she had to grip the phone in both hands to keep it from slipping out. “It’s not going to last. It’s because of Yazmer and Crush, and I just got caught in the middle of it.”
“We can try making that argument, but Mike Solo is a promising ballplayer. From what I’ve heard, he’s likely to be in the public eye for some time. He’s also a team leader. He’s well-liked and people respect him. With that ability, do you think he’s going to avoid the spotlight the rest of his life?”
In the dim recesses of the cave, Taj stirred. He licked one paw with his long tongue, then lumbered to his feet. Donna fixed her gaze on the magnificent creature.
“No, of course not. Why should he? It’s part of being a ballplayer. I think it’s even in their contract that they have to speak to the media.”
“Exactly. So it very likely is not an isolated incident. Mike has a very compelling story, with his military background and his kidney donation. Not only that, he’s good-looking and extremely charming. That Vow of Celibacy? Genius. Oh yes, Donna, you’ve picked yourself a future husband who will continue to be the target of media attention. Good for him, but I’m not sure that was the best move for you, frankly. You might have given Harvey an edge. He can play the stable, normal family card.”
Taj sauntered into the enclosure, his feet padding softly across the turf. A whisper of excitement rippled through the knots of people watching outside the fence. His eyes were pure living gold, and they swept across the crowd with absolute indifference.
“But . . . but . . . you were all for the idea of me getting engaged to Mike! You said it was brilliant! The wedding’s in a week.”
“Did you tell me he had a gay brother? And that he gave that brother his kidney?”
“But . . . but . . .” She seemed to be able to do nothing but splutter. “What difference does it make that he has a gay brother?”
Taj sniffed the air indifferently, as if searching for a good reason to explore. He didn’t seem to find one, since he turned, head lowered, and padded back into his cave. She hadn’t even taken a picture for Zack, she realized sadly.
“It made no difference, until he went and made that PSA and started making the headlines. Now he’s a lightning rod for attention. Judges don’t like controversy. They don’t like brouhahas. I’m afraid it may come down to a choice. Do you want to marry Mike Solo or do you want to pursue your custody battle for Zack?”
Chapter 19
THAT NIGHT, DONNA made love to Mike with a craving she’d never even imagined before. She felt as if a fever had infiltrated her bloodstream and the only cure was Mike. If she had to walk away from him she needed to soak in as much of him as possible. He didn’t seem to have a problem with that, letting her revel in his body, his heat and hardness, forget herself in the electric pleasure they generated.
Finally, he stilled her as she straddled him, her thighs clinging to his hips. “What’s wrong?”
“How do you know something’s wrong?”
“I read pitchers for a living. You make a nice change of pace. Something’s up, I can tell.”
She didn’t want to talk. She wanted to bone. Screw. Fuck her brains out. She shifted her position, trying to work his penis inside her, but he tightened his grip on her hips. “Talk, Donna. Tell me what’s going on.”
She dropped her head, knowing she’d cry if she met his eyes. “They won’t let me see Zack.” The words ripped out of her, a primal whisper of pain. “Because of all the media.”
“What?” He pulled himself upright, so she was cradled between his legs. “What are you talking about? Tell me the whole thing.”
So she explained it, in all its horrid injustice, taking quick little peeks to see his reaction. Mike’s face went grimmer and grimmer, so he looked like a statue with blazing green eyes by the end. He let out a stream of creative curse words.
“So our engagement, which was supposed to help you get Zack back, is now the problem. I’m now keeping you from Zack. I’m the reason you can’t see him.”
“No, no. It’s not so much you as . . . the spotlight, the controversy, the circus, all that.”
“Which I’m in the middle of. Which I caused.”
She rolled away from him and pulled a sheet over her. “You didn’t cause it,” she said miserably. “You just did the right thing. I’m totally behind the PSA, even though I didn’t know any of this would happen. If you’re going to blame yourself you have to blame me too.”
“I’m not blaming anyone. I’m just pointing out that at this moment, I’m the reason you can’t see Zack.”
“No . . .” She trailed off. What Mike said was true. If she hadn’t gotten engaged to Mike, she’d still be up against Harvey and Bonita, but she probably wouldn’t be facing a total ban from seeing Zack. “The lawyer says I have to make a choice,” she confessed in a faltering voice.
Mike stroked her back, his hands warm through the sheet. “You’re saying we have to end our engagement. Call off the wedding.”
A sob ripped from her throat, coming out as a pitiful croak. It was what she had decided, but hearing it out loud m
ade her heart crack. “But what if she’s wrong . . . I mean, won’t it make me look bad? Like I change my mind too much? One minute I’m engaged, the next I’m a single mom again? What if that’s bad advice?”
“But you said the emergency order is because of the media crap right now. Because of me.”
She nodded miserably.
“The last thing I want to do is prevent you from seeing Zack. That’s the whole reason I pushed you into this thing, for Zack. Everything’s different now. I’m a liability. I won’t ruin things for you, Donna. I won’t.”
Everything in her wanted to scream that he wasn’t ruining things. That he was a blessing in her life, that he gave her strength and joy and comfort. But she couldn’t. Because she couldn’t lose Zack. She couldn’t let Bonita be in charge of Zack’s childhood. And that’s exactly what would happen if Harvey got custody. If she’d had any doubts before, they were gone. Bonita called all the shots with Harvey.
Mike pulled his body away from hers, out of the tangle of sheets, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll take the blame. Completely, so it doesn’t come back on you. I’ll make a public announcement right away. I’ll say that I didn’t want the media attention to affect the people I care about, so I’m releasing you from our engagement. I’ll add some more stuff too, like it’s been an honor to be part of your life, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and a wonderful person and mother and all that.”
With his back was to her, that strong, powerful back, he seemed impossibly distant. She wanted to scream at him. How had he put it? Some more stuff. All those nice words were just for show, to impress the public. None of it was real. He’d never pretended there was anything more between them than friendship, chemistry, and a desire to help her. She threw her arm across her eyes to hide her tears. The scent of their night of lovemaking, intimate and sweaty, still surrounded her. Outside, the sewage plant rumbled with its nighttime workings.
A soft touch on her chin startled her. Mike was pressing a kiss to it, then up the curve of her cheek. “It’s all true, you goose,” he whispered. “Every single word.”
Caught by You Page 19
