“Nothing wrong with that.” His dad smiled. “If anyone can do it, you can.”
Blake’s smile matched his dad’s. “Now we just need to get you well so you can apply for a job. I’ll need help, you know.”
“Count me in, son.” He met Blake’s gaze head-on. “I plan to beat this thing, and I can wash dishes with the best of them.”
“I’ll bet you can.” Blake swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. “I’ll hold you to it, too.” He stood. “I’ve got to get back to Oklahoma tonight though. Mom’s baking cookies, and I plan to snack on some while I drive.”
“You can’t beat your mom’s cookies. Drive carefully, and call when you get home.”
“I will, Dad.” Blake stopped in the doorway. “I’ll be back in a few days. I’ll probably need a place to stay until I get an apartment fixed up.”
His dad nodded. “Your room’s always ready. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Dad. I’ll see you later.” Blake walked away before his father saw the moisture gather in his eyes. He wanted to cry out and beat his fists into something, anything that would release his dad from this sickness. But he couldn’t, because they faced an unseen adversary. Cancer. How did you fight something so destructive even the doctors couldn’t stop it? How could you make your loved one well again? He had no answers, only the frustration of wanting with all his heart something that he could not have.
Blake spent another ten minutes with his mother before he took the pie tin of cookies she fixed for him and set it on the front seat of his SUV. He backed out of the driveway then turned toward Tessa’s house. Last week she hadn’t been home when he stopped. She said she wouldn’t be, but he hadn’t believed her. Was she avoiding him? He longed to share his fears for his father with Tessa. If he could just see her for a few minutes, maybe some of the heaviness in his heart would lift.
He thought of the last time they were together. They’d driven to a motel on old Highway 66 several miles out of town and spent the weekend together. That was so long ago. So many memories were gone now, but he remembered how they’d talked and then talked some more. He felt he could tell her anything. He’d never opened his heart and soul to anyone that way before or since. That’s when he knew how much he loved Tessa.
She loved him, too. And that scared him. Tessa in those days had few boundaries. No rules to follow. Tessa did whatever Tessa wanted to do. Her mother had ignored her for years, and she took advantage of the resulting freedom. Her two oldest sons were evidence of that. As much as she loved Robbie and Seth, she left them with her mother for days at a time while she sought fulfillment and release from the fears and hurts that haunted her life by using alcohol or men and usually both.
He shook his head, trying to reconcile the woman he’d met two weeks ago with the old Tessa he remembered. She’d changed. There was no doubt about that. He turned onto the street where she lived and drove slowly, watching for her house. A block away he saw her car in the driveway of a neat ranch-style home. The two youngest boys were tossing a ball between them in the front yard. He recognized Seth and. . . He couldn’t remember if he’d heard the youngest one’s name. He’d been born later, after he and Tessa broke up. Or more accurately, after he’d run from the one woman he couldn’t forget, but who scared him more than any commanding officer he ever had in the navy. So much he’d stayed away even after his discharge. Oklahoma City was far enough from Amarillo to avoid Tessa but close enough to visit his folks. So when his navy buddy Dave suggested he open the restaurant in his hometown and hire him as manager, he’d jumped at the chance.
Even now, as much as he wanted to talk to Tessa, he knew he shouldn’t. He watched the boys playing as he drove past, and neither looked his way. He reached for one of his mother’s peanut butter cookies and took a bite. Maybe on his next trip to town, he’d get his nerve up. Then he’d stop and see what had happened in Tessa’s life to cause such a drastic change. This new Tessa might not be as easy to run from, and that thought didn’t scare him as much as he expected. He’d be back in a few days, and he’d look her up then.
“Lunchtime.” A week after her vacation ended, Tessa pushed away from her desk at the county offices and stood, stretching the kinks from her back. She had been typing reports all morning and was ready for a break.
Two other women followed her from the room. “We’ve decided on pizza today. Sure you won’t join us?”
At the mention of pizza, Tessa’s heart jumped while Blake’s image filled her mind. She shook her head and smiled at Judy. “I need to check on the boys. Robbie may be fifteen, but I always feel more secure if I can see that the house is still standing at noon after three boys have been in it all morning.”
Judy laughed, and Barb agreed with her. “I know how you feel. I was the same way with my kids. Now they’re all grown up and away from home.”
Tessa pushed the outside door open and walked through, holding it for the other women. They separated in the parking lot, and she turned toward her car but stopped. She stared at a man striding toward her. What on earth was Blake Donovan doing here?
Tessa’s heart set up a regular drumbeat. She placed a hand over her chest as if to calm her reaction to Blake. He fell into step with her while his grin drove all coherent thought from her brain.
“Hey, I don’t have to go through every office looking for you after all.”
She struggled to make sense of his presence and the fact that he would be looking for her. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I found out you work here. Not which office you work in.”
“Oh.” She shook her head. “No, I mean why are you looking for me?”
He shrugged. “Isn’t this your lunch break? I thought I’d take you out. Treat you to lunch wherever you want to go.”
“I can’t go eat, Blake. I’m sorry.” Tessa unlocked her car.
“You mean this isn’t your lunchtime?”
“No, it is, but I have to go home and check on the boys. During the summer when they aren’t in school, I warm up something quick for us to eat together. I have an hour, so there’s plenty of time. Besides, it gives me a chance to check on the house.”
“On the house?” Blake sent her a puzzled look. “What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing, I hope.” She laughed. “It’s just that three boys can do more than you might think to a house in four hours, even when they are asleep the first half of that time.”
“Ah, I understand.”
Blake looked disappointed, but Tessa refused to back down. When the thought crossed her mind to invite him home with her for lunch, she clamped her lips together.
She opened her car door. “Well, I—”
Blake spoke at the same time. “My dad has cancer.”
“Oh Blake, I’m sorry.” She started to reach for him but pulled her hand back.
“They’re going to operate, so he may have a chance. We just don’t know much right now. That’s why I’m moving back here.” He stopped and watched her as if to see her reaction.
“You’re moving to Amarillo?” Tessa stared at Blake. How could this happen?
He nodded. “I’m buying an old building to turn into a restaurant with an apartment upstairs. The owners were pretty anxious to sell. Closing is in a couple of weeks, and then I’ll start work on it. I plan to put in a restaurant and arcade with a video rental. There’s nothing like that here, so I think it will go over pretty good.”
“There’s pizza and a video store here, Blake.”
“Yeah, I know, but it isn’t the same. I’ll have everything together with several things going on. If one doesn’t bring customers in, the other will, and they’ll do business at all of it. You’ll see.” He seemed confident enough.
Still, Tessa wondered. Or did her negative thoughts have more to do with Blake living so close than with his choice of business?
“Don’t worry, Tessa. I’m experienced with restaurants. Remember my place in Oklahoma? We do a steady business e
ven during the winter, and we stuff customers in during tourist season. Hey, even you found me.”
His grin pulled her like a magnet she couldn’t resist. But the love they had once experienced was in the past. She couldn’t let him draw her back into his charms.
When she didn’t respond to his tease, his smile disappeared. “I’d like to talk to you, Tessa. This thing with my dad is pretty scary. If I had someone who would just listen to me, maybe I’d feel better. Could I come by this evening, please? I promise I won’t stay long.”
Tessa looked into Blake’s dark brown eyes and saw Derek pleading for just one more cookie. She slipped into the car before her knees buckled. She looked up at him. “All right, Blake. I don’t think the boys need to know anything beyond the fact that we were friends a long time ago though. Will you promise me that?”
He nodded. “That’s fine. I won’t give out any secrets if you won’t.”
Tessa winced at his choice of words. She had a secret she hoped Blake never learned. If he did, would she lose her youngest son? Probably not, but he could claim parental rights to Derek, and she would have to share, which was something she’d never had to do before and didn’t think she wanted to now.
She looked him in the eye and said, “I don’t intend to tell anything that isn’t necessary. I get off work at five. I live at—”
“I know where you live.”
“You do?”
He shrugged. “I looked you up in the phone book to call you. I’ll be there after five. Thanks, Tessa.”
He closed her door and stepped back while she backed from the parking space. How could she have agreed to let Blake come to her house? What would she do if he recognized himself in Derek? While Derek had her bone structure, he had Blake’s coloring. Now that she’d seen Blake again, she saw him every time she looked at her youngest son. How could she keep her secret from him?
Chapter 5
T hat evening, Blake showered and shaved. Tessa used to like his aftershave. Maybe she still would. He still used the same brand. Would she one day snuggle into his arms like she used to and tell him how much she loved the musky scent? He couldn’t think of anything he’d like better than to hold Tessa in his arms again. The new Tessa. The old Tessa still scared him. Surely she wouldn’t go back to the drugs and alcohol. He hoped not.
He thought of the way she’d been today at noon and felt his body relax. She seemed to carry a deep peace inside as if she knew what she wanted and where she was going. Before, she’d never been quiet, never satisfied with her world or her life. She was always seeking a better way to block out the reality of life. He always wondered how she managed to stay away from the hard drugs but figured her boys kept her from them. She loved those two boys as much as her lifestyle allowed. Maybe having a third son was what caused her to change. Something sure made her grow up and become the most appealing woman he’d ever seen.
He dressed in clean blue jeans and a light blue polo shirt and told his mom he probably wouldn’t be home for supper. Feeling like a teenager on his first date, Blake grinned at her raised eyebrows and gave her a jaunty wave before closing the door and running to his car. She hadn’t approved of Tessa all those years ago and probably still wouldn’t. No need to tell her he’d run into Tessa again. She had enough to worry about with his dad.
Blake drove the short distance to Tessa’s and saw the boys playing catch in the yard just as they had before. This time he pulled to a stop against the front curb and got out of his vehicle. Both boys watched him approach with wary expressions.
“Hey guys. How’s it going?” Blake greeted them.
Seth spoke first. “You’re the man from that pizza place with the bumper cars. I remember you talking to my mom.”
“That’s right.” Blake grinned, hoping he looked harmless enough so he didn’t scare them off. “Did you like Pizza Playground?”
“Yeah.” This came from the younger one. His brown eyes grew big and round. “Bet you like workin’ there. Do you get to ride the bumper cars sometimes?”
“Well. . .” Blake wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He seldom had time for play, but he did have to do repairs occasionally. “I guess I ride once in a blue moon. I do more paperwork than anything else though.”
“Paperwork.” Seth looked like he didn’t believe him. “That sounds like my mom’s job. Don’t you cook pizza? You weren’t sitting behind a desk when we saw you.”
Blake laughed. “That’s true—I wasn’t. Tell you what, Seth. I’ll teach you the ins and outs of running a pizza place one of these days, but right now, how about tossing that ball?”
“You want to play with us, mister?” the little one asked.
“Sure, I used to be pretty good. Let’s see if I can still catch a ball.” Blake wished he knew the little guy’s name, but he hated to ask, so he decided to wait until someone called the kid. He figured he’d hear it soon enough, and then he wouldn’t forget.
“We’re practicing for Little League.” The little guy seemed chatty enough. He tossed a baseball to Blake. “We need practice on catching. You can pitch to us.”
“Sounds good.” Blake stepped back to put some distance between them. “Overhand or under?”
“Over.” Seth pounded his fist into his glove. “Ready when you are.”
Holding back some, Blake sent the ball toward Seth first and then to his younger brother. After a few tosses he took a break and showed the boys how to ease their hands back as the ball hit their gloves to cushion the impact.
“Can you teach me and Derek how to throw a curveball?” This came from Seth.
“I can give it a try.” Blake grinned at the enthusiasm of the two boys and the fact that he now knew Derek’s name. He thought about their Little League. He’d always enjoyed playing ball, and he liked kids. Maybe he could combine the two by helping out. Didn’t organizations like that always need volunteers?
Blake showed the boys how to position their fingers along the seams of the ball for a throw that should curve out just as it reached the batter. After several attempts to get the pitch just right, both boys were elated with their success.
“Wow, you’d make a good coach.” Derek grinned up at him. “I bet they would let you sign up.”
“Maybe I will.” Blake couldn’t resist a quick ruffling of the kid’s dark hair.
Tessa took a quick shower and changed into blue jeans and a T-shirt. She slipped on socks and sneakers then started out the door when she saw the bottle of perfume sitting on her dresser. Should she? Blake had bought the same scent for her that weekend so long ago. When that first bottle ran out, she had bought another. She’d always kept a bottle on her dresser and used it often, keeping the memories, even when they were painful, alive. She reached for the perfume. He probably wouldn’t remember, but she certainly did.
When she crossed the living room, she heard the boys playing outside. Robbie’s CD player blared from his room. He was probably studying for his driving exam. One day she’d have to give in and let him take the test. She knew it, but that didn’t make letting go any easier.
The deeper rumble of a man’s voice sounded outside. Then she heard that same lower voice say, “Come on, Derek, let’s see if you can catch this one.”
Tessa’s heart skipped a beat. Blake was playing ball with his son. An irrational fear that he would automatically see the truth gripped her, causing her knees to turn to rubber. With heart pounding, Tessa called on a strength and calm she didn’t feel, but trusted God to provide, and went to the door.
She rushed onto the front porch as if a kidnapper held her child for ransom, then stopped at the sight in her yard. Blake stood near the street with the boys kitty-cornered from him not far from the hedge separating their yard from the neighbor’s. She leaned against the porch post to watch and to regain her composure.
Blake sent a hard pitch Tessa figured was worthy of the World Series to Derek. She held her breath as the ball soared through the air heading straight for her baby. She fel
t her muscles tense just before the ball struck his upraised glove with a smack.
He held the ball above his head and danced in place. “I caught it. You threw a fastball, Blake, and I caught it, too.”
“You sure did.” Blake’s grin held pride for the boy.
Oh Lord, please don’t let him notice how similar Derek’s grin is to his.
“Mom, did you see me?” Derek ran up on the porch and hugged Tessa.
She squeezed his shoulders. “Yes, you are fantastic.” She looked over his head as Blake ran across the yard and up the steps to the porch. Her gaze locked with Blake’s as she patted Derek’s back. “Why don’t you two boys take a break now while I talk to Blake? There’s a bag of cookies in the pantry and milk in the fridge.”
Seth lifted his eyebrows at her before following his brother inside, but he didn’t speak. No doubt he wondered why they rated a snack so close to their evening meal. Oh well, one spoiled meal wouldn’t hurt them.
“Let’s sit on the swing.” She motioned toward the porch swing and followed Blake. Even sitting against the far side from Blake didn’t put enough distance between them. Maybe she should have suggested the porch floor, opposite ends. “You said your father has cancer?”
“Yeah.” The sparkle left Blake’s eyes as a frown replaced his smile. “I don’t know if he’s going to make it, Tessa. That scares me. I know dying is part of life. But I’ve never faced it with someone I really care about before. Even my grandparents are still alive. Both sets.”
“I’m sorry, Blake.” Tessa took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It isn’t easy to lose someone. My mother went to pieces when my dad died, but she didn’t know the Lord. I really think it would have been much easier for her if she had been a Christian back then.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.” Blake gave her a half smile. “We all need something to lean on, even if it is just a belief.”
“Jesus is more than just a belief, Blake.”
“I guess.” Blake cut in before she could say more. He set the swing moving. “I did tell you I bought a building here, didn’t I?”
Route 66 Reunions Page 5
