“Rob, too?”
Seth gave her a look that said she’d lost her mind. “He’s at work, Mom.”
“No, I mean did they tell him to call them that?” She couldn’t bring herself to say “Grandma and Grandpa” out loud.
Seth shrugged while Derek answered, “We don’t know, Mom. He wasn’t there. Grandpa’s real cool at the games. He said he’d teach me some tricks.”
“Oh really? Let me change clothes and then we’ll go.” She couldn’t wait to set George and Janice Donovan straight. How dare they tell the boys to call them Grandpa and Grandma?
All the way to the Donovans’, she rehearsed what she would say. She needed to be careful so she wouldn’t hurt the boys. Obviously they liked Blake’s parents almost as much as they liked Blake. She didn’t want to hurt the Donovans either. They seemed to be such nice people. So much different from her earlier impression of them. Besides, they’d been through so much lately. And Derek really was their grandson. How could she fault them for opening their hearts to Seth, too? And probably Rob as well. But shouldn’t they have consulted her first?
She stopped in the driveway of the large two-story brick house set in the middle of a wide manicured lawn that made her little ranch-style house look like a shack. Before she had her key out of the ignition, the boys were running toward the front door.
“Guys, wait.” Tessa scrambled from the car and ran after them. “Don’t you dare go inside.”
She shouldn’t have worried. The boys’ shoes no sooner hit the porch than the door opened. George stepped out with his arms held wide. “Hey, you made it. Come in. Make yourself at home.”
“Hi, Grandpa,” two voices called out, blending the greeting into one.
“Hi, Seth, Derek. Go on in. Grandma’s in the kitchen. Just skirt the stairway there and through the dining room. Kitchen’s in back of that.”
“I’m not in the kitchen now.” Tessa heard Janice’s voice just inside the door as her boys went in. “Not with Tessa and the boys here. Oh, I’m so glad you came.”
George ushered Tessa inside the wide foyer where Janice stood, hugging a boy in each arm. Watching the older couple make a fuss over Seth the same as they did Derek took the wind from Tessa’s indignation. How could she ask them to step back now? Did she even want them to?
She looked around and touched the gleaming mahogany stairway banister and wondered if Blake had slid down it as a boy. She had never been inside the Donovan home, although she had driven by many times. Janice had left her standing on the front step eleven years ago. What a contrast today was to that time. Blake had grown up in the midst of luxury. Did he have any idea what doing without meant?
“Tessa, thank you for coming.” Janice’s smile held warmth and a touch of shyness. “Why don’t we go to the dining room? Everything’s ready.”
The two boys fit into their surroundings as if they’d been raised on formal dining rooms, cloth napkins, and flatware arranged just so by their china plates. Tessa couldn’t have been prouder of them. But as she watched them, she realized they were copying their host, not because they wanted to follow the rules, but because they looked up to the man they called Grandpa.
He kept them entertained with stories of Blake as a boy at their ages. Tessa especially liked the one where he tried to build a skateboard ramp in the backyard. She laughed with the rest when George said Blake showed off in front of some other kids and fell.
“Did he get hurt, Grandpa?” Derek asked.
“Not bad.” George shook his head. “Unless you call a broken arm bad. I figured he got what he asked for. I don’t remember him showing off anymore after that.”
“Yes, Blake was always building something.” Janice smiled. “Just like his dad. Maybe the boys would like to see what you’re working on now.”
“When you’ve had all you want, I’ll show you my workshop.” George grinned at the two boys. “I’ve been making some birdhouses.”
Seth shoved his chair back and stood. “I’m done.”
“Me, too.” Derek followed his brother.
George looked at Tessa. “I’ve got a couple of birdhouses cut out. Would you mind if the boys help me put them together?”
“No, of course not.” Tessa saw the eager light in her boys’ eyes and the matching one in George’s. “That sounds like fun.”
The older man pushed back from the table and stood. “Well now, I think it’s fun. We’ll see what these boys think.”
As he headed through the kitchen toward the back door with the boys following, Tessa started gathering dirty dishes.
“Why don’t we leave these for a while?” Janice stood and walked around the table. “I’ve got all afternoon to clean up and not another thing I need to be doing. Let’s go into the living room and relax.”
As they entered the living room, Tessa took scarce notice of the lovely furnishings except for one side table that held a framed photograph of Blake in his uniform. How many times had she dreamed of him in uniform! She stood near the table and drank in the image of the man she loved so much.
“That was taken just after boot camp.” Janice’s soft voice reminded her of her surroundings.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I never saw a picture of him after he enlisted.” Tessa turned away and followed Janice to the sofa, where they sat down, one on each end.
“You are in love with my son, aren’t you?”
Tessa met Janice’s direct gaze and nodded. “Yes, I’ve loved him almost from the first time we met.”
“He loves you, too. I saw him yesterday. He’s very upset about something.”
Although no question had been asked, Tessa knew Janice wanted an explanation. She looked down at her hands in her lap. “He guessed about Derek.”
She looked up at Blake’s mother. “I tried to live my witness before him. But I failed. I didn’t tell him about Derek, partly because I didn’t want Seth and Rob hurt, but also because I didn’t trust Blake to be a good influence.”
“Because he doesn’t serve the Lord.”
Tessa nodded. “He would have forgiven me except for that. He said I had a holier-than-thou attitude, and he was right.”
“Oh Tessa.” Janice reached across the sofa and patted her hand. “He only spoke in anger. He didn’t mean that.”
“Maybe, but he was right.” Tessa took a deep breath. “I’ve prayed and asked God’s forgiveness. I’ve also asked my mom and my best friend to pray for Blake’s salvation, and I’d like for you to join with us in that. I believe he will come to Christ if we join our prayers together in faith. Blake was at church this morning, so he hasn’t given up, although he didn’t sit with us. As soon as possible, I’ll ask his forgiveness.”
Janice nodded. “Of course I’ll join with you in praying for Blake. Thank you for sharing with me. I see Blake isn’t the only one hurting right now.” Her mouth curved in a little smile. “I’m new at this, but I wonder if you’d pray with me now for Blake and for his dad?”
“Yes of course.” Tessa moved closer to Janice so they could hold hands. She led in a prayer from her heart for both the man she loved and his father.
For the next week there was no word from Blake. Rob didn’t work again until Friday evening, so Tessa couldn’t even ask him for a report. She took the boys to the restaurant for supper on Saturday but didn’t see Blake. She wondered if he was hiding from her and rejected that idea. While the crowd was nothing like the week before, there were enough customers to keep him busy in the kitchen.
On Sunday morning, Tessa sent the boys ahead of her to the car while she went back for her Bible. She closed and locked the front door and ran across the grass but didn’t see anyone in the car.
“Mom, over here,” Rob called to her.
She turned and saw Blake leaning against his SUV parked on the street. The three boys stood near him. Blake’s hand rested on Derek’s shoulder.
“What are you doing?” She walked toward them and stopped three feet from Blake, uncertain what to expect.
>
“I’ve missed you. All of you.” His half smile melted her heart.
“Blake, I’m so sorry. You were right. I thought I was better than you.”
“Shh!” He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. “You are better than me. Don’t you worry about what I said that night. I’ve been doing some thinking about a lot of things, but I can’t tell you now, because we’ll be late for church if we stop to talk.”
Tessa rested her head against his chest and didn’t care if the boys saw. She loved to listen to the beat of Blake’s heart and feel his strong arms holding her. She felt safe and cared for. She felt a love that had been denied her for so long. But he was right. They had to get to church. And he was going with them. She pulled away.
“I’ll hold you to that, Blake.” She reached up and kissed his cheek. “We’ll have a long talk very soon.”
She motioned for the boys to get in the SUV. “Come on, guys, we’re going to church with Blake this morning.”
Chapter 17
B lake dropped Tessa and the two younger boys at their house after church; then he and Rob went to work. They kept up a steady pace, making and serving pizza and heaping plates of spaghetti and salad. Blake worked as hard as any of his employees, while his mind traveled a different road from the one his hands performed with little thought.
He felt divided in his emotions as well. On one side, he had never been happier. He possessed the love of a wonderful woman. She was strong, courageous, kind, gentle, and caring. He could go on, but what impressed him even more was her purity of heart. He had lived in and remembered her past. She was the same Tessa as back then, yet so different now.
That difference brought him to the other side of his emotions. Watching her, witnessing the changes in her life, had shown him his inadequacies. A heavy load of regret and guilt sat on his heart. A load that intensified every time he sat through a church service and watched the inner peace shine through Tessa’s eyes.
At five o’clock, Tessa and the boys came in to get Rob. From the moment Tessa assured him Derek truly was his, Blake had experienced a jolt of awareness each time he saw his son. He found every excuse to touch his shoulder, rub his head, or give him a quick hug. He needed the physical contact to assure him his son was real.
Now he walked with them out to their car with one arm around Derek’s shoulders. If only he could tell his son who he was. But he had promised Tessa.
At the car, he watched the boys climb in and then turned to Tessa. “I’ll call you tonight. How late is too late?”
She looked up at him with the light of her love shining through her soft blue eyes. Her smile filled his heart. “I’ll sleep with the phone. Call whenever you can.”
He grinned. “All right. I will.”
Blake returned to work. While time crept past, he alternated from the joy of Tessa’s love to the burden in his soul that seemed ever present and no longer possible to ignore.
Late that evening, at the first lull between customers, Blake ran upstairs to his apartment and pulled out his cell phone. He sank into the recliner in his living room and punched in a number he’d memorized from the times he had almost called before.
“Hello?” A man’s voice answered on the second ring.
“Pastor Lieber?” Blake swallowed. “This is Blake Donovan. I wondered if you might have some time this evening. I’d like to talk to you.”
“Certainly, anytime you say.” The pastor’s concern came over the line.
“The restaurant is open another half hour, until nine tonight. I know that’s late. . . .” Blake wished Dave were here. He needed to train someone to take over so he could get away once in a while.
“Nonsense, that’s a perfect time,” Pastor Lieber assured him. “I have an office in my home. Let me give you the address, and I’ll expect to see you here at about nine thirty. How does that sound?”
“Great.” Blake wrote the address down and headed back downstairs. He felt as if he’d just walked through a door into an unfamiliar room. He didn’t know what he faced, but he was ready to make the decision that had been beckoning him from the first moment he recognized Tessa in Oklahoma City.
As promised, at nine thirty, he knocked on Pastor Lieber’s door and was ushered inside.
“Blake, I’m glad you stopped by.” The older man motioned toward a chair in his office as he sat in the one beside it. “I’ve enjoyed seeing your face in our services. Hopefully you’ve received a blessing there. Now, what can I do for you?”
“My mother recently became a Christian,” Blake began as the pastor waited, giving his entire attention to his visitor. “She’s been talking to me, and then there’s Tessa Stevens. I knew her a long time ago.”
As Blake explained the turmoil in his heart, the pastor nodded encouragement. Several minutes later Blake said, “I feel my mother and Tessa have something I’m missing. I know I haven’t lived the best life. I mean, I’ve done wrong. Everyone does, don’t they?”
The pastor nodded. “Oh yes. ‘We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way.’ But God’s Word also tells us that ‘the wages of sin is death.’
“You see, Blake, when Christ died on the cross, He provided forgiveness for your sins and mine. But only when we come to Him and confess our sins and ask for His forgiveness are our sins covered by His blood.” He paused before asking, “Do you believe you have sin—past or present—in your life for which you have not accepted Jesus Christ’s forgiveness?”
Blake bowed his head and nodded. “Please, Pastor, I need to pray.”
When he knelt with Pastor Lieber, confessing his sins and accepting God’s forgiveness, he understood the change in Tessa’s life. As he stood and shook the pastor’s hand, he felt as if he had truly been born again.
No longer did his sins weigh heavy against his heart. No pricks of guilt stole his joy. Instead, his heart sang with love and gratitude toward his Savior. He could scarcely wait to tell Tessa what had happened.
Tessa sent the boys to bed at ten. They had school in the morning and she had work, but Blake said he would call. She took a warm blanket from her bed and went outside to cuddle into it on the porch swing with the cordless phone in her hand. She might get cold, but she wouldn’t go to sleep before he called.
She had noticed him hugging Derek and walking to the car this afternoon with his arm around him. Her son—Blake’s son—soaked up every bit of attention his father gave him. Only he didn’t know Blake was his father. He would be happy to claim him as his stepfather. All the boys would love for her to marry Blake. They had all said so more than once. But she couldn’t marry a man who didn’t share her commitment to Jesus. No matter how much she loved him.
Would Blake want joint custody of Derek? He had a good income from his restaurant in Oklahoma and soon would from the one here. His parents had money. If he took her to court, there would be little she could do to keep Derek from him. Did she even want to? No, what she wanted was to tell the boys the truth. Derek needed to know his father. She hadn’t been fair to him or Blake, or the other boys for that matter.
A few minutes after ten thirty, the phone in her hand rang, startling Tessa. She turned it on and held it to her ear with her heart racing. “Hello?”
“Tessa, can I come over? I know it’s late, but I’ve got to see you.”
Her heart froze at the urgency in his voice. He sounded excited but hesitant. “Blake, what’s wrong?”
“Not one thing.” Blake laughed. “Not one single thing is wrong. That’s what I want to tell you about. Please, I won’t stay long. Can you meet me on the porch?”
She laughed. “I’m here already waiting.”
“Good, because I’m coming up your street now. Just stay put.”
“I will.” Tessa saw Blake’s headlights approaching, and then he stopped behind her car in the driveway.
He crossed the yard to her and stopped by the swing, looking down at her with a wide smile on his face. “I just came from P
astor Lieber’s. I’m a new man, Tess.”
She threw the blanket from her shoulders and sprang into his arms for a warm hug. She pulled back slightly. “You accepted Christ, didn’t you?”
He nodded. “I’ve made a commitment to serve Him. I’m still reeling from the experience of salvation, but I know it’s for eternity. I understand now what you’ve been trying to tell me. If you hadn’t lived your changed life in front of me, I never would have found forgiveness. I love you, Tessa. From the bottom of my heart.”
“I love you, too, Blake.” Tessa smiled at him. “I made a decision tonight, too.”
“Oh really?” Blake led her to the swing, where they snuggled together into the warmth of the blanket. He tucked the blanket under her chin and grinned. “You know, if we got married, we wouldn’t have to sit on the porch so much.”
Tessa smiled. “Is that a proposal or just an observation?”
His grin disappeared as he looked into her eyes. “I already proposed and you turned me down.”
“Maybe the timing was wrong.”
“Is the timing better now?”
The look they shared became so intense neither could have turned away if they’d wanted to. Tessa could not trust her voice, so she nodded.
Blake pulled her closer as his head lowered until his lips covered hers in the sweetest kiss she had ever experienced.
“Blake?” She breathed his name in a question.
He smiled. “You want to hear it again, don’t you?”
She nodded, never taking her attention from his face. Her heart raced in anticipation.
“You’d better give me the right answer this time.” Blake pulled back and took both her hands in his. “Tessa, I love you with all my heart. I love your boys as if they were all my own sons. Of course, Derek has a special place in my heart, but I promise I will never show partiality to him over Rob or Seth. I want to be the father they’ve never had but need. But most of all, I want to be your husband. I want to love you and walk with you through this life until God calls us home. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”
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