by Cecy Robson
Yet I had to be honest. Marriage wasn’t something I ever considered, even with him. Marriage was a final blow to my defenses that I couldn’t allow. Not if I was going to spare what remained of my heart.
He rose and looked at me for a beat before storming into the bathroom. For as quiet as he could be, I heard every harsh slap of his bare feet across the dark wood floor.
I buried my face in my hands. Shit. What did I do?
I waited a few minutes after I heard the shower start running before following him, not bothering to dress. My actions were deliberate. Short of the cursed gold that sickened and killed most preternaturals, decapitation, and the destruction of his heart, Gemini didn’t have many weaknesses. Yet my naked body topped that short list. And didn’t I need it then?
Was it immature, manipulative, unfair? Maybe. But like I said, surrendering physically was way easier for me. So I used my strengths, and yeah, yeah, my big girls, too.
Light steam greeted me as I slipped into the bathroom. I strode toward him, watching him through the clear glass doors. He passed his soapy hands along his muscular torso and then down each arm. I leaned against the wall, the cobalt-blue tile feeling cool against my skin as I waited for him to turn my way. He knew I was there. He always sensed me near. But he seemed to need a moment, so that’s exactly what I gave him.
White foam cascaded down his form in quick waves. I watched, admired, and waited. But it was only when he rinsed off his face that he finally glanced my way. Rather than giving me his usual slow appraising look, he averted his stare, pressing his hands against the wall of glass and leaning forward to allow the water to pound against his back.
Okay, wasn’t expecting that response. Wow. My nipples were stiff and everything.
Fine. Plan B it is. I strolled forward and knocked softly against the glass. “Mind if I join you?”
Streams of water trickled down his face, but his attention fixed on the frosted glass window a few feet beyond and well away from me. “I’m almost done. I’ll be out in a minute if you want to step in.”
I stood there positively dumbstruck and hurt. Didn’t he know I wanted to feel close to him, even if it wasn’t in the way he’d intended?
His rebuff physically pained me. I crossed my arms and bowed my head. “Baby, please don’t be mad. Meeting your parents is just something I’m not comfortable doing.”
He shut off the water and stepped out, reaching for a white towel. “I’m not angry, Taran. I’m disappointed.”
My heart sank. “Oh, okay. That’s not worse or anything.”
He passed the towel along his skin in quick motions. “What do you expect, Taran? You tell me you love me, yet you refuse to allow me to claim you as my mate, and now—”
“Oh, you mean like when Aric claimed Celia?” My hurt was kicked to the curb, and in its place a very pissed-off Jersey girl remained. “That’s something that’s supposed to be sacred to your kind.”
“It is,” he growled.
I jutted out my chin. “If that’s true, why did your Alpha dump my sister after he claimed her?” I threw out my hands. “If this claim binds them—if it’s so hallowed—how could he walk away so easily?”
I have a temper. A bad one. And that temper rises faster than the strike of a match when it comes to those I most love. Celia, like me, had walls as thick as granite shielding her heart. She made the mistake of opening them up to Aric, and it cost her. Big time. He more than broke that heart; he crushed her soul when he left her.
Gemini straightened to his full six-foot-plus frame. “It wasn’t easy for him to leave her, Taran. It remains his biggest burden and regret.”
I lifted my chin. “And yet he still did it. You call me your mate. You want to claim me. But Celia and Aric are living proof that it does nothing. What’s the point of being linked for eternity if you won’t even stay with the person you’re bonded to?”
The anger creasing Gemini’s frown lessened in severity. “Just because they’re no longer together doesn’t make their love less real, nor their bond less strong. Celia will always be Aric’s mate. He’ll never love another.”
I nodded. “Really? I’m sure that evil fiancée of his would love to hear that.”
He swiped his hand across his face. “Taran, we’ve discussed this. Aric is a pureblood werewolf. He is held in a different regard than I am. He is obligated to continue our race, and that means reproducing with another pureblood.”
“I’m sure knowing that is a tremendous comfort to Celia.”
He dropped the towel and gathered me to him. He was naked. And Gemini naked usually led to crazy sex. But for once, that was the last thing I wanted. “You may not believe me, but your sister is important to me, and a friend. I feel for her pain.” He stroked my cheek softly. “I can’t imagine being forced to stay away from the one I love.”
I leaned in close. Although my anger and reservations lingered, I didn’t want to fight with him. My wolf meant everything to me. We needed to talk, even though I didn’t care for the conversation. “Why is claiming me so important to you, anyway?”
He cocked his head, as if unsure he understood my question. “It’s the way my wolves and I officially proclaim you as our mate. Our promise to love only you for eternity.”
“Isn’t it enough to just say it?” I meant that. Why did it have to be such a big leap? I was committed. He knew I saw and wanted only him.
He surprised me by smiling softly. “Perhaps if I were human what we have would be enough. But I’m not. It’s important to me as a were. Much like marriage is to some, but instead of exchanging rings, our souls become one.”
Oh. Soul bonding. Awesome. That couldn’t possibly end in disaster or anything.
I covered my face with my hands, convinced I wouldn’t survive this whole commitment thing without ending up on the floor, writhing in agony. Emme and Celia would be jumping for joy to hear such words from their loves—exactly like Shayna had when she skipped down the aisle with Koda. But I wasn’t “that” kind of girl. You know those girls who came out of the womb picking out their china, who always dreamed of their wedding days—where it would be, what their dress would look like, who would attend to them?
Yeah. I always made fun of them.
A girl I knew in high school flat-out told me she wanted to be married by twenty-four and have her first child—a boy, I think she said—by the time she was twenty-six.
Girlfriend didn’t mention she’d be divorced by the time she was twenty-seven. I saw a picture of her on Facebook recently. She was a shell of her former self following her devastating breakup. Like Celia, was that what would eventually become of me?
Regardless of what Gemini said about not being obliged by his pack to breed with another were, with the war being what it was, that could all change. And where would that leave me? Like Aric, Gemini would have to obey his Elders, no matter who it crushed.
I ran my fingers through my hair. All this mating and marriage talk scared me. Like literally left me shaking, because I saw what happened when it didn’t work out. Lord Almighty, hadn’t I hurt enough?
And yet as much as it frightened me and made me want to pull away, I wasn’t blind to what it meant to him. “How would you do it, exactly? How would you claim me?”
Gemini’s eyes smoldered, causing my head to snap back. Whoa, baby. He lifted my chin and kissed me with so much heat, the points of my breasts saluted him. I just about jumped up and straddled him again. But that wasn’t what he wanted.
“During our lovemaking, I’ll ask to have you, and give myself to you in return,” he said. “Before we finish, I’ll proclaim you as mine.”
It didn’t sound too complicated. In fact, it sounded kind of hot. Still, my defenses rushed to the surface to protect me, like I’d conditioned them to. “What if it doesn’t work?” And all this isn’t real, I don’t add.
“The only time a claim fails is when a were tries it on someone who’s not truly his or her mate,” he patiently explained. “A
claim won’t work if there’s someone else I’m meant to love more.”
“So it’s possible, right?” My voice trails. “That I may not be the one?”
Gemini pulled away, chuckling, and reached for his shorts. He slipped them on and shook out his slacks, all the while smiling at me. Well, at least someone was sure of himself. “My wolves and I recognized you as ours from the first moment we saw you,” he said, like it was obvious. “Or have you forgotten our initial attraction?”
How could I forget that? The first night I met Gem, I was completely entranced by him. I thought initially that he was pulling some kind of wolf mojo on me. I could barely speak and I couldn’t stop myself from staring at those ever-watchful eyes. Sparks from my own magic literally flew and at one point, I felt like I was having some sort of mystical climax.
“No.” I lowered my head and flicked my long nails. “I remember.”
He finished dressing as he watched me. This time, he knew I was the one requiring a serious moment. I thought I should shower, dress, or something to maybe stretch out the time I needed. But the minute I glanced up, his strong arms embraced me. “You’re afraid you’re not my mate, aren’t you?”
I was afraid of a lot of things then—that I wasn’t his mate, but even more so that I might be. If matehood was true, and its “claim” bonded souls, that was a whole different level of commitment and pain I was setting myself up for.
“I never figured myself to be the committed type,” I confessed. “This just makes everything so official, so…”
Gem raised his dark eyebrows. “Real?” he offered.
“Dangerous,” I countered.
That went over like most kicks to the balls. Hurt shadowed his face, and maybe mine, too.
Life, like I mentioned, had dealt me and my sisters a cruel hand. In a way, we’d grown accustomed to the bad and the not so great. But the cruelty we’d faced had screwed us up in countless ways, making us bleed tears that burned their way down to our hearts.
I closed my eyes, trying to shake that familiar sense of impending doom. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. But I might. What I felt for Gemini packed enough punch to drive me to my knees. Tack on the claim he desired to weld us with, and he would destroy me if he walked away.
Maybe that was why I was so against meeting Mom and Pop Hamamatsu—they represented another step onto the Heartbreak Express.
I lifted my lids, my blue eyes traveling to meet Gem’s dark ones. “I’m not ready to be mated. I’m not ready to meet your parents. It’s not that I want to be with anyone else. I’m just not comfortable with what it means, or represents, or what it could lead to.”
He clasped my elbows, stroking them lightly. “I don’t understand your fear. The claim won’t alter you or us. It will only strengthen what’s already there.”
What Gemini considered strengthening, I viewed as weakening a part of me I couldn’t leave vulnerable. When I spoke, I could barely get the words out. “This connection…this claim, it’s the equivalent of marriage to your kind, isn’t it?”
He paused as if debating whether or not to answer. In the end, he told me the truth, refusing to lie, although I’d probably have preferred lies to honesty then. “Yes. All who are were would consider us married.”
So not what I needed to hear. “Is this why you want me to meet your parents? You’re hoping it will change my mind or something?”
“Taran, I’m not trying to force you into a corner. But while you try to play off what’s between us as nothing more than a casual relationship—one we both could walk away from—it’s not. You are my mate. I want to present you as such and solidify what you mean to me.”
My heart was beating way too fast considering we were only talking. “By claiming me, right? I mean, that’s what it’s all coming down to.”
“Our claim is something I deeply desire as a were and as a man.” The knuckles of his hand skimmed along my arm. “And that desire grows each time I’m with you.”
I forced my next words out. “If I do this—if I agree to allow this bond—will you consider us married?”
“I will. But we can postpone the actual ceremony—”
I stepped away from him, my eyes welling. “I can’t do this.”
He dropped his hands to his sides. “Which part?”
“All of it. Baby, we’ve only known each other a handful of months.”
He averted his gaze, shaking his head. “Taran, don’t use our brief time together as an excuse. I know what I feel. And even if I gave you years, I doubt your excuses would be any different.”
Who says we’d make it years? For all I knew, his Elders would order him to leave me as early as tomorrow, or he’d walk away without another glance back. But I don’t tell him this because, for me, I’ve already said too much. “I can’t,” was all I could offer.
The expression of sadness frozen on his features made my tears run faster. “All right, “he said. “You’re clearly not ready for what I’m offering, so for now, let’s drop it.”
My voice splintered like glass. “You’re pissed at me, aren’t you?”
In not answering right away he said enough, despite his next few words. “I don’t want to pressure you, and I don’t want to fight. But I won’t pretend that your response doesn’t affect me.”
He gave me his back and finished dressing. Tears drenched my cheeks as I watched him. He was the perfect blend of man and hero, and it didn’t matter. I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
He straightened slowly from pulling on his socks, his back still to me. He couldn’t stand to see me cry. Yet I knew that he was hurting, too.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered when he faced me.
“I’m sorry, too,” he said, once more gathering me to him and curling his long body over mine. “I don’t want to dwell on this. And I’ll never force you to do something against your will. But I want to feel closer to you. Please, at least consider meeting my parents. It would mean a great deal to me, and to them as well.”
He waited until I settled, then started for the door.
“Where are you going?” I asked, worried he could no longer stand to be around me. “I thought you didn’t have to work today.”
He withdrew the phone from his pocket. “Aric sent a text. A local pack on the Nevada side found evidence that suggests demons. He requests my presence for a meeting with the local clan of witches to see what course of action we should take, and to see if we need to involve the vampires at this time.”
I didn’t want to ask. “What kind of evidence?”
His features darkened. “The fresh remains of two humans.”
Chapter 3
Gemini left our room following a brief kiss goodbye, leaving me with thoughts of demon children flapping their naked wings and the horrendous turn our day had taken.
Just a month prior, we’d succeeded in rescuing my sisters from a Tribe stronghold and a fate worse than death. Death by demon impregnation and delivery of said creature was the last way anyone deserved to go.
I shuddered, and jumped into the shower to wash away the disturbing memories of those demon children raking their claws against me, their long forked tongues flicking against my cheek, greedy for a taste of my insides. My skin crawled as I passed the loofah sponge along my body. I scrubbed hard, their nasty images flooding my mind and refusing to leave me.
My nightmares had warned me they were coming. That didn’t prepare me, though, for everything that happened. I was practically paralyzed with fear during the attack, and although I’d resented the backfire curse that had triggered our powers, it helped saved me, and ultimately, my sisters.
I stepped out of the shower, drying my body quickly and reaching for the lotion. The shower relaxed me and succeeded in erasing my disgusting and twisted memories. What it didn’t do was help me shake the disappointment shadowing Gemini’s features.
I wasn’t perfect. I knew that. But I never pretended to be perfect. Did I swear? Hell yeah. Was I inappropriate? Mos
t sailors thought so. Did I have an attitude? Possibly. But if nothing else, I stayed true to who I was. My dilemma remained that who I was was someone Gemini’s ultratraditional Japanese parents wouldn’t like. That I was sure of.
Couldn’t my wolf see that I’d only jeopardize his relationship with them?
And couldn’t he see how scared I was to meet them?
As I finished drying my hair, I realized I could have handled things differently, although I wasn’t sure exactly how given my insecurities and fears. So I did what I did best: made myself look good on the outside so I’d feel better about how I felt on the inside.
I pulled on a skintight sweaterdress and thigh-high boots and strutted out of my room and into the kitchen, where Emme’s boyfriend, Liam, yapped away. Emme sat on a barstool, her small frame appearing to wilt as she suffered through another one of Liam’s hunting tales. I shook my head and tried not to grimace. That boy was going to make her a vegetarian if he told one more disembowelment story.
Liam didn’t seem to notice the green tone to her pallor as he enthusiastically continued his spellbinding tale. “…and then I tore into his hide like it was made of paper. Warm blood pooled in my jaws, spilling down my fur—ever have warm blood squirt in your mouth?” He didn’t wait for Emme to answer. “Greatest feeling ever—oh, and you should have seen how big his stomach was when I ripped it open with my fangs.” He laughed. “Somebody liked salmon, let me tell you—”
Emme whipped her head toward me. While she possessed the power to heal, her ability evidently couldn’t soothe her mounting nausea. She clutched her belly, swallowing hard. “Hi, Taran.”
That was what she said. What she really meant was, “Make him stop.” I tried not to laugh, but she really needed to tell him how much she hated these graphic accounts, rather than trying to be so supportive. I drew closer and spread her soft blond hair around her shoulders. “Hey, sweetie,” I said.
Her smile returned some of the color to her fair skin. “You look nice,” she said quietly. “Are you going out?”
