"It's not fair how women don't have equal rights, Carter. Becca was cheated out of her inheritance. She got hitched, so when her daddy died, his land deed went into her no-account husband's name. She wasn't even listed on it."
"Well, she married him," he responded with finality, as though that should end the conversation.
"So she shouldn't have equal rights because she's married?"
"Honey, when she became his wife, she chose him to be the manager of their business affairs. That's how marriage works. The wife takes care of the household. The husband takes care of the business that provides for his family."
"But he didn't provide, Carter! He left them in ruin. He sold the land and frittered away the money against his wife's wishes—the money that was supposed to be hers!"
"I'm not saying he's right, Nalin, but it's the way it is. It's the natural order for the husband to be the leader of the family. You can't let one bad man change your whole perspective of how things should work."
Nalin stormed away after each of these conversations, furious that she could never get her point across to her hardheaded husband. She imagined Carter rolling his eyes behind her every time she left him in a huff.
Nalin had to admit that the injustice toward women rarely applied to her, save for not having the right to vote, which was more abstractly insulting than concretely hurtful. She liked being Carter's wife. She wanted to obey him for the most part, and she appreciated all that he provided. He shared everything he had with her, generously and without question. The one thing he was unable to offer her, however, was the one thing she desired most from him the last few months, and that was his understanding. He was an old-fashioned cowboy who respected women in the same way his father had, and he ensured that the women around him were treated well. That was good enough as far as he was concerned.
When he forbade her from attending the only women's suffrage convention ever to come to Porter, Texas, she felt many things—misunderstood, angry, and hurt among them. But the strongest emotion she felt was fear, specifically, fear of failure. She had already failed in her duty as a wife and woman due to her inability to bear a child, and if it were up to Carter, she would fail in her duty as a suffragette as well. Her fear of failure was stronger than her desire to obey, so she went against her husband and attended, despite his adamant insistence that she not do so.
She had only been in the crowd for an hour listening to suffragettes shout from a raised platform before she felt a strong arm encircle her waist and heard her husband's growl in her ear.
"You're coming with me now, young lady. And you'd better make tracks, not a fuss, or it'll be worse for you."
She followed him to the buggy, her face hot with anger and embarrassment. On the ride to the cabin, she pled with him to understand how a man's right to punish his wife was unfair, but he seemed unmoved. He viewed her disobedience, especially when it came to her safety, as something well within his rights as her husband to correct.
During the buggy ride, she worried about the pending punishment. He didn't hesitate to spank her over the years for various misdeeds. Each session over his lap stung more than she cared to admit. He delivered the punishment to her unfortunate bare bottom every time, usually with his hand but occasionally with a wooden spoon or his belt if he felt she did something especially egregious. Attending the convention behind his back probably counted as egregious in his eyes, she realized, making her clench the muscles in her backside involuntarily. After any of his spankings, she wasn't able to sit comfortably for the rest of the day.
What she didn't admit, even to herself until that very day, was that she felt loved when he spanked her. It meant he noticed her actions and cared enough to discipline her when she did something he felt was wrong, and she felt cherished and forgiven when he held her afterwards. She craved Carter's guidance and firm care.
She felt it was terribly unfair of Carter to forbid her attendance to the convention when it meant so much to her, but she had planned to accept her punishment like she always did. She knew he only spanked her because he wanted her safe. She looked forward to being in his arms for comfort after the punishment because it had been some time since he'd held her tight and whispered in her ear that he loved her.
What she hadn't anticipated was for him to change his mind about punishing her. When he left on his horse after delivering words that stung worse than his hand, she felt shattered. He had never gone back on administering a promised punishment. For him to do so now hurt her terribly. It wasn't like she had made him see the error in his thinking. No, he had given up on her. To give up meant he didn't care. This realization brought a fresh torrent of tears. She felt certain that her barren state made her less of a woman in his eyes, and she wondered if he even loved her anymore. It seemed he had finally grown tired of her, judging by the weary tone in his voice and refusal to stay and talk with her.
She cried into her pillow for a long time and was so distracted by her distress that she didn't hear Carter open the door to their room.
Chapter 2
To Be a Good Man
Nalin had neglected to cook supper. Carter felt hungry, irritable, and at a loss over what to do about his wife, who became more difficult to please every day. He found her lying on the bed. She had stuffed her face in a pillow, and her shoulders shook with sobs. Carter looked to the heavens. He had joked for years that this woman would be the death of him, but now he wondered if it weren't the honest-to-goodness truth. If she wasn't nearly giving him a heart attack, she was starving him. He had no idea what to do with her.
His voice was sharp and cut through the air like a whip. "Nalin, come here."
Nalin looked up, startled by his presence. She jumped off the bed, rushed to the doorway where he stood, and planted herself against him. He wrapped his arms around her, which only made her cry harder. He looked down at the unruly hair on the top of her head and ran his hand over it in an attempt to tame it, which was about as successful as trying to tame her.
"What in tarnation are you carrying on about, missus?"
"I-I don't know," she said through her tears, her voice muffled by his shirt. "Y-you left me. You didn't want to talk to me."
"Oh, for goodness sake, Nalin."
He dragged her by her arms to the wooden chair between their bed and dresser, where he set her down roughly. Before that moment, he planned to have a calm discussion about her needs in this marriage. He planned to tell her he would strive to be the man she needed him to be in order for her to be happy. He even planned to say that if it meant no longer asserting his authority over her, then so be it. He would give it a try.
His resolution to be a new type of husband evaporated the moment he heard her weak, trembling voice, and his natural inclination to be strong, take charge, and set his wife straight took its place in full force. With one hand on her shoulder, he bent down, looked into her eyes, and held a finger up to her pretty face, which was streaked with tears.
"Listen here, little girl. I left you to do what I do every day. Work! That's what I'm supposed to do in the first place, not follow your disobedient backside into town to make sure you're safe."
He straightened to his full height and placed both hands on his hips as he looked down at her. "You're going to stop crying this instant. Then you and I are going to have a yammer, and you're going to tell me what's eating away at you. I'm not pleased with your behavior today or for the last few months. It will end now, here in this room, one way or another."
Carter sat on the bed and focused a stern look at her, waiting for her to obey his order to stop crying.
"Yes, sir. I do n-need to stop crying. I-I will." She hiccupped. Her cries died down after a minute. "I'm sorry, Carter. I've failed you." She sniffled and ran the back of her hand under her nose.
"What do you mean, failed me?" Carter reached into his pocket and handed her his handkerchief. Her nose was leaking as much as her eyes. "Nalin, first go blow your nose and wash your hands and face, then come back
and answer that. You're a mess. I've never seen you carry on so."
She nodded and stood. "Yes, sir," she said, and left the room.
He stared after her, shaking his head. First she was ranting at him about how she shouldn't be required to obey him, now she was yes, sir-ing him and doing his bidding without argument. If that didn't confuse a man, he didn't know what would. He heard her blowing her nose. A short time after that, he heard water splashing in the basin.
She returned, drying her face with a towel, and sunk back into the chair. Her face was red and puffy, but at least the snot and tears were gone from it. Carter crossed his arms and waited for some kind of explanation.
"I haven't given you a child, Carter. I'm not a good wife. I haven't fulfilled my most basic duty as a woman."
Carter frowned at her. "Nalin, surely you don't think you're to blame for our misfortune in starting a family. I certainly don't think you are."
She looked past him out the window and spoke in a faraway voice, "I've failed at being a wife, and I've failed at being a suffragette. I'm a total failure."
Carter's temper flared. "Did you hear a word I just said?" he growled. "You haven't failed at being a wife. Now failing as a suffragette, I wouldn't know, but I doubt that too."
Nalin gave her head a quick shake and focused her attention on him. "I heard what you said, Carter, but I don't believe you. I have failed my duty as your wife. I know this because you said you've given up on me, and you won't even spank me. You've always said it's because you care that you punish me, so what am I to think when you don't?"
Carter's head was pounding. He rubbed his temples. "Well, Nalin, don't think a spanking is out of the question, for one. The more of your nonsensical prattling I'm forced to endure, the more likely it becomes."
Nalin's eyes widened, and she looked at him with an expression that closely resembled hope. Carter's consternation came to an end in that very moment, for she had unknowingly said more to him in that one look than in all her rantings about women's rights. His wife had a strange new interest that didn't make much sense to him, but he realized then that one thing was not new or complex, and that was the way she needed to feel his love. He suddenly understood what caused her tears that day.
Carter's tone softened. "Come sit by me, Nalin, love."
Nalin moved to the spot next to him on the bed. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the side of her forehead. "Look, sweet girl, I'm having a hard time understanding what it is you need from me as a man now that you're unsettled as a woman. I've been at a bit of a loss, but I haven't stopped caring about you. I never will. I want you safe and happy, and I want to be the kind of man who ensures you are both, if I can."
Nalin looked into his eyes. "Oh, Carter. You're such a good man. I need you even though I say a woman shouldn't need a man."
"Thank you, darlin'. It sure is nice to hear you say that. And you're a good woman. I need you too, you know?" He offered her a smile.
Nalin smiled weakly back at him and Carter kissed her forehead again.
"Now," he said, growing stern. "Speaking of needs. A certain young lady needs a spanking, doesn't she?"
Nalin gazed at him sorrowfully before nodding. She placed herself over his lap with no argument. He moved his hand around her waist and unbuttoned her trousers. He pulled them clear off and tossed them aside. Next came her drawers, which he released and pushed to her knees. He took in the sight of her perfectly smooth, pale bottom, soon to become red and smarting from his punishment. She looked small and vulnerable over his lap, and in that moment he wished to caress her and give her body pleasure using his hand.
Instead, he gave her what he knew she needed. He planted a punishing swat on her left cheek. "This is what you will get from me, little girl, when you get out of line."
His hand came down hard at a brisk pace. She let out a whimper as his hand cracked down on her bottom again and again before moving to her thighs. She made louder noises and squirmed. He tightened his grip around her waist.
"Mark my words, Nalin Barnes. Fair or not, you'll be suffering a spanking every time you doubt my love for you."
He delivered the swats for two long minutes. Given the rigor behind them, Carter knew it must have seemed like two hours to Nalin. When he settled his hand, she was whimpering but had managed not to start crying again.
He rubbed his calloused hand around her hot flesh, which brought a noise of appreciation from her lips.
"I have a request, wife," Carter said. He continued rubbing her bottom and stroked her back with his other hand.
Nalin felt soft and compliant in his lap. "What is it, husband?" She practically purred.
Carter loved bringing out this submissive side of her as much as he loved facing her fierceness. "I'd like to request that you cook your husband supper when he asks for it."
"Are you hungry?"
Carter snarled his answer. "I was hungry hours ago. Now I'm positively wolfish."
"I'll cook you something now." She made a move to get up.
Carter held her in place and gave her a hard swat. "Did I tell you we were finished?"
Nalin yelped and softened back into his lap. "No, sir."
He continued to rub the sting out. "I have another request. Actually, this isn't a request. This is a command. You will stop airin' your lungs every time you get a hankering. It's offensive, and I don't enjoy hearing those words coming out of your mouth. Do you agree to stop?"
Nalin didn't respond for longer than he felt appropriate, so he began spanking her again. "Don't refuse to answer me, young lady. Insolence over my lap is a very bad idea."
"Okay," she cried. "Please stop. I'll answer."
He settled his hand on her bottom after a few more sound swats. "Well?"
"It's not fair that you can swear and I can't," she said in a whine.
Carter let out an irritated sigh. "I don't generally swear in front of you, Nalin."
"Fine, I won't swear in front of you either. I still want to swear other places."
Carter had to chuckle. "Do you now?" He rubbed her sore bottom in a way that was both tender and threatening. "I reckon there's not much I can do about that. I won't be pleased if I hear tell of it, though, and my displeasure will lead to yours."
Nalin nodded her understanding. He gathered her into his arms and held her to him. He kissed her forehead, each of her cheeks, and her lips.
"I love and care about you, honey. Don't ever question that again. We'll figure out the rest."
Nalin laid her head on his shoulder. "Thank you," she whispered.
He rubbed her back and smiled wryly. "I think that's the first time you've thanked me for a spanking."
She sniffed. "Don't get used to it."
He chuckled again and gave her an affectionate squeeze. She was a strong, smart woman. He recognized that, but he recognized something else too. Under not too many layers, she was also a vulnerable little girl who craved her husband's authority. Her pa had offered nothing to Nalin in the way of protection while she grew up, only inconsistency and neglect. As far as Carter was concerned, he was nothing but a lowlife drunk and coward. The man had married a penniless, unsuspecting Apache woman and then felt no duty to provide for her.
Nalin told Carter that her ma had slaved all day, every day, and half the nights, weaving baskets and beading jewelry to sell in town, barely keeping her and her daughter from destitution. She intercepted whatever money her husband earned and somehow stashed enough away to send Nalin to a boarding school for a couple years to gain a proper education. Her ma did so in the hopes that Nalin might find a good life, something she never had, and Nalin took to book learning like a dog to a bone.
Nalin grew into a fierce woman, out to fight for her survival since a man had never taken care of her, at least not until she met Carter. When he came into her life, she thrilled at his strong, protective love.
Carter would never forget the day they met. He observed the small woman with wild hair trying to lug a sixty-po
und bag of flour to her buggy without assistance. It took one conversation with her, from the supply store to her buggy with the sack of flour over his shoulder, for him to fall in love. Not only was she beautiful, she was also interesting. She had felt so grateful to him for his minor assistance that she immediately treated him like her long-lost friend, babbling to him about a novel she read and asking him questions about his ranch. Her thirst for knowledge about him and everything around her was unquenchable. He went about courting her right away, which included fixing the house she shared with her ma. Her pa had long since abandoned it for a room in town to better suit his gambling and whoring proclivities. He had allowed the cabin where his wife and daughter lived to fall into dangerous disrepair.
Carter smiled to himself, remembering the way Nalin would sit on the porch and watch him, perplexed, as he attended day after day to the neglected work around the cabin.
"Why are you doing this, Carter?" she asked him one day, a month after they'd begun courting.
Carter hammered a nail into the new doorframe he'd built. "Because the old frame was falling apart."
She laughed. "But why are you fixing our whole house?"
"Because your whole house needs fixing," he said, and winked at her.
She uttered some Apache words under her breath, which amused him.
"You can say those words out loud, you know. I don't know what they mean, so you won't get in trouble."
"If you care to know what they mean, I'll translate them as best I can." Her voice had a jovial lilt to it. "I said you are an insufferable man who doesn't know how to answer questions right. And then I said a word that means something like 'fucking hell' in English."
The Submissive Suffragette (Lone Star Love Book 1) Page 2
