by Jaleta Clegg
I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted to be angry with him, I wanted to hate him. I wanted to lash out at him, hurt him the way he’d hurt me. I couldn’t find the anger anymore.
"Talk to me, Dace. Please." His silver eyes studied me. "Help me understand you, so I can help you."
"I never had a pet before." I ran a finger down Ghost’s back. She purred, twitching one ear as she curled up to sleep.
"Everett said something about not taking a cat back when he gives it away. He said Ghost was yours."
I stroked the cat, soft whispers of purrs vibrated my knee. "You really want to hear my life story?" I didn’t know if I wanted him to say yes or no.
"Please."
The first words were hard. I told him whatever came to my mind. I told him about hating embroidery, about tying knots in my thread on purpose. I told him how hard I’d fought to get free of Tivor. I told him how hard I’d fought to break the stereotypes of behavior beaten into me every day at the orphanage. I told him about the Academy, how I had never fit in there. I told him things I knew he already knew.
And I told him about Xqtl. I told him about shooting people. I told him everything. I laid bare my whole soul. And felt better when I finished. I was tired, so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.
He brushed a hand over my head when I was quiet for a while. "I always liked purple. I never imagined it as a hair color, though."
I laughed, a real laugh. "It should wash out. Tifa and Gloss said it would."
"And if not?" he asked, a smile teasing the corners of his mouth.
"Then I’ll have purple hair for a while. Tayvis said he liked it."
He laughed and stood.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
"You’re welcome," he answered. He laid his hand on my shoulder briefly.
The door slid shut behind him, leaving me alone with Ghost. I picked up the cat and lay down on the bunk. She meowed, complaining about being moved, before curling back up next to me.
I watched the planet in the viewscreen. I still hated what I’d done. I still hated that part of me that could shoot people. But I had found some sort of peace. It was delicate, a fragile peace that needed time to heal. I let my eyes drift shut, hoping that somehow the peace would keep the nightmares away.
It must have worked. I didn’t remember any bad dreams. That night or many nights to come.
Chapter 51
I stayed in the cabin for another two days. My only company was Ghost. Lowell came by several more times. I asked him where Tayvis was. He said Tayvis had gone on an errand for him. He handed me a folded square of paper, sealed with tape. There was no name on the outside. I waited until he left before reading it.
Tayvis was back to being Lowell’s errand boy. He promised to drop by Ylisini to see me before the Phoenix was finished. He left the most personal things out of the note, the things I wanted to hear. I’d just have to wait.
Darus came to see me, morning of the third day. He slipped in without knocking. I was petting Ghost and watching the planet rotate.
"Don’t let Lowell catch me." He eyed me warily, almost as if he expected me to sprout horns or start shouting or something.
"Sit down," I said, pushing the other chair with my foot. "I’ll get Lowell to cut you a deal. If you get caught." I managed a smile.
He sat, his fingers moving restlessly over the table top.
"I heard you had a rough time of it. Tayvis wouldn’t give me details." He looked at me, the question plain in his brown eyes.
"Tayvis didn’t know most of the details."
He waited, his fingers plucking at the edge of the table.
"I’m not going to tell you either," I said.
"The rumors are that you’re some kind of secret agent." His eyes begged me to either confirm or deny the rumors.
I petted Ghost, looking down as the cat lifted her chin. Her green eyes blinked. I wasn’t going to give Darus the satisfaction of knowing. I wasn’t sure what my status was myself.
"They said you shot the leaders of the syndicates," he continued. "They said that you personally took out both organizations."
"Who are they?"
"Those who were down there aren’t talking," he said. "Lowell’s people. You couldn’t get them to talk with a—" His voice trailed off.
"With a what?" Lowell asked. "You’re looking a lot better today, Dace."
"Excuse me, sir," Darus said stiffly, scrambling to attention.
It took me a moment to remember the insignia I’d seen on Lowell’s collar. Not even Lowell would have the audacity to impersonate a High Commander. It had to have been his real insignia.
"You can stay, if you’d like, Commander Venn," Lowell said, waving away Darus’ attempt at a salute. "My orders to leave Dace alone were only to give her the space she needed. If she isn’t objecting to your presence, then I won’t either. Although I admit I’m curious to know what would get my agents to talk. With a what?"
He was teasing. And Darus walked straight into it. I bit back a smile as he tried vainly to cover his slip.
"I was just saying, sir, that they wouldn’t talk about what happened. I was just testing them, sir, to see if they’d hold to orders."
"Stop while you’re ahead, Darus," I said.
"I’ll just be going now," Darus said, sidling around Lowell.
"No, please, I insist," Lowell said. He enjoyed teasing Darus. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch, like Tayvis’ did.
That thought stirred up a lot of memories I wasn’t comfortable with. I looked back at the planet. Whatever smile might have been on my face was gone.
"You do play cards, Commander?" Lowell asked. "Don’t let my rank intimidate you." Was that a hint of regret in his voice?
Another knock and the door slid open. "You asked to see me?" A voice I didn’t recognize. I turned to look.
Captain Suweya stood in the door of what must have been his cabin. His glance flicked over me and Darus and settled on Lowell.
"Do you play cards, Captain?" Lowell asked. He had a deck in his hands and was playing with them, fanning them out and snapping them back together.
"Excuse me?" Suweya looked confused.
"Never mind," Lowell answered. "How much longer will we be here?"
"We can leave as soon as you wish, sir," Suweya said. "They’ve made a complete search of the planet, as complete as they can. That place is a maze."
I bit back the comment that rose unbidden.
"They believe they have most of the fugitives in custody. The researchers are being investigated. And Ricard Blake’s family has been contacted."
"They won’t be happy about it," I said.
"Ricard Blake?" Lowell said. "Why does that name sound familiar?"
"He was looking for the fountain of youth on Dadilan," I said. "He thought the philosophy stone was on Xqtl."
"He’s got a lot more money than sense," Lowell said.
"When do you wish to leave, sir?" Suweya asked. "What course shall we lay in?"
"You can return to Tebros," Lowell said. "I’m sure Querran will be happy to have her ship back in one piece."
"Minus one point gunner," Suweya said.
"He was only trouble waiting to happen and you know that, Captain," Lowell said.
"Are you taking my Gunnery CO as well?" Suweya asked with a sideways glance at Darus.
"Not until an official transfer can be processed," Lowell answered. "That is, if Commander Venn wants to request one."
"I’m still thinking about it," Darus said.
"You know how to get in touch when you do decide." Lowell scratched his ear. "Your service has been invaluable, Captain Suweya. Take my thanks back to Querran. Tell her to submit a full request for reimbursement to my office." He looked at me. "I believe Dace and I have other business. We’ll take my ship from here."
That was a surprise to me. I managed to keep from staring at him, though.
"We’ll be leaving this afternoon, as soon as you can arrange docking."
&n
bsp; Suweya saluted and left, formal and stiff.
"Do you want some time alone?" Lowell asked Darus. His look included me in that question.
I stood, letting Ghost jump to the floor. She started licking her back leg. I hugged Darus. It was awkward, but I had to make a start somewhere. He stood frozen for a moment, surprised. Then he hugged me back.
"Sorry to drag you into this," I said.
"Stay out of trouble, Dace." He stepped back and ruffled my hair.
"I wish people would quit doing that," I complained.
Darus grinned. "Now you’re starting to sound like yourself again. It’s the purple, I just can’t resist it."
I found myself smiling back. The dye hadn’t washed out like Tifa and Gloss had promised. It didn’t matter.
"Look me up, next time you’re on leave," I said.
"You’re coming back to Cygnus Sector?" he asked, surprised.
"I don’t know," I answered truthfully. "Look me up when they let you retire, then. The Phoenix can use a good engineer."
"You’re as good as any." He hugged me again. "You be careful, Dace." He let go of me and turned a glare on Lowell. "I don’t care what rank you really are. Don’t play games with my daughter."
"Not even cards?" Lowell asked innocently.
Darus grinned. "Don’t let him cheat, Dace. I haven’t figured out how he does it yet, but I’m positive he does."
He left. The door slid shut behind him. The atmosphere in the room seemed emptier when he was gone, as if he filled more space than he actually did.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked.
"Where would you like to go?" Lowell sat at the table and shuffled. "Your ship will be on Ylisini for at least a month. I can take you straight there. Or I can give you more time. Whatever you need, Dace."
He laid out a hand of solitaire. I stared at the planet.
"Anywhere, Lowell?"
"Within reason," he answered.
"What about the ransom money?"
"What about it?" He flipped cards over. "I’m supposed to return it to the bank on Viya Station." He looked up from the cards. "I do have some discretionary funds available. What are you thinking of doing?"
"I owe some people. They saved my life. They helped me even when it was dangerous for them."
Lowell sat back, his card game forgotten. "What did you have in mind?"
"Ophir, first of all."
"I’ll let Paltronis know. You earned whatever you want to ask for."
"Do I work for you, Lowell? Officially?"
"On paper, yes," he said, flipping over another card. He frowned at it. "It was the only way to justify the actions I took. Are you going to object?"
"Will it do any good?" I watched him peek under a card.
"Why do I always lose?" he muttered. "Even when I cheat?"
Chapter 52
It was raining on Ophir, a wet drizzle that collected on the roof of the groundcar and gathered into fat trickles that ran crookedly over the windows.
I watched the rain. Lowell sat beside me, directing the driver. Ophir was due for some big changes. Lowell had spent three days contacting planetary authorities, those outside the port who hadn’t worked for Targon or Blackthorne. Their faces were familiar, I stayed in the background and didn’t try to remember names. They met with Lowell and worked out a way to transfer the government of Ophir to new hands with a minimum of disruption.
We were now on our way to visit Scholar in his crumbling warehouse. I had several things for him and his gang.
"This one," I said.
Lowell tapped the driver. She pulled to the side.
"Are you certain?" Lowell asked, peering across me at the deserted looking building.
"Positive."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"They’ll bolt if they see you. Wait in the car." I grinned.
"You’re enjoying this too much. Don’t make me pull rank."
"I’d like to see you try." I climbed out into the drizzle, packages clutched in my arms. I picked my way around the discarded boxes that littered the side of the warehouse.
The door was where I remembered it, a boarded over bolthole. I bent down and ducked through. I was met by suspicious faces and several lengths of metal pipe. I stood, letting them see who I was. I wasn’t wearing my shipsuit. Lowell had finally talked me into wearing something else, another way of letting go of pain and letting myself heal. I wore pants of soft gray and a long tunic in ice blue. The door guards looked down at my clothes, the packages I carried, and finally up to my unorthodox haircut.
"Spacer Chick," Yobo said, his face splitting into a wide grin. He turned and darted into the main room. "Guess who?" he shouted. "Spacer Chick came back."
I walked in, to a room full of surprised talk. Doggo jumped off a tattered cushion and hugged me. I dropped the packages I held and hugged him back. It felt good.
He backed off, watching me warily. "You through being scary?" He looked concerned for me.
"I had a rough time back there," I admitted. "I came back to try to repay you. All of you."
They were gathering around, curious and eager. I watched their faces and wondered if I’d ever been that young. Even when I was small, I’d never been that bold or that confident. I picked up the biggest package.
"This is for you, Tifa," I said, handing it to her, "and Gloss."
She took it, watching me with a puzzled look. She pulled it open and gasped in surprise. She smiled as she pulled the clothes out. I’d taken my time shopping. Gloss crowded in, fingering the clothing. Tifa piled them on a cushion and held the items up, one by one.
"To pay you back for the clothes you loaned me. And for you, Doggo," I said, pulling an envelope out of my pocket. I handed it to him. "Wade and Deke both agreed to give this to you."
He opened it and whooped. It was the deed to Deke’s used part lot and everything on it. Let Doggo make of it what he would. He’d hit it off with Deke sometime on Xqtl.
"For you, Scholar." I handed him two envelopes.
The first one he opened held the deed to the warehouse, along with an account holding enough money for him to fix it, if he cared to. He knew something was up, he flicked suspicious glances at me as he read the deed.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because some very powerful people owe me favors and I’m collecting. No strings attached, Scholar. You stuck your neck out for me when you didn’t have to. I pay my debts."
He opened the second envelope and his frown deepened. "Is this a joke?" he asked, waving the paper at me.
"The government of Ophir wishes to offer you a job. I talked the Patrol out of making a similar proposal. I didn’t think you’d be interested, although if you are, I can put you in touch with the right people."
He grinned. "I’ll get in touch. If I change my mind." He looked at the paper, studying it with growing interest.
"For the rest of you," I said, "there is a scholarship fund set up. If you want to attend a university or the Academy, you’ll have to apply but the money will be there for you. And the Patrol is obligated to give you a lift."
I knew most of them weren’t the homeless street gang they pretended to be. They had families, they went to school, they just played at being street toughs. It didn’t matter. The offer stood for all of them. The room was silent while the implications of what I’d said sunk in. Then Yobo whooped. The rest started shouting. Tifa and Gloss twirled around with the dresses I’d bought them.
Torch waited until Tifa wasn’t looking. He grabbed me unexpectedly and kissed me. And grinned at his own daring. I laughed and pushed him back. Doggo offered me his bottle. I drank one tiny swallow. It exploded in my belly in a wave of golden warmth. Someone turned on a music player. Yobo tried to teach me how to dance.
Lowell crashed the party after the first hour. The room grew quiet. He stood near the entrance, out of place in his shiny uniform and bland face.
"Do you want picked up later? It’s still raining," he said to m
e across the silence.
"Meet my friends, Lowell," I said. "This is Yobo," he was currently bobbing somewhere near my armpit, "Doggo you’ve met. Tifa. Gloss. Torch. And Scholar. I don’t know the rest by name yet."
"Charmed to make your acquaintance," Lowell said and gave Scholar a half bow. He bowed over Gloss’s hand. She blushed and simpered.
"Everybody dance!" Yobo shouted. The music started up again.
Lowell was escorted to a cushion and offered Doggo’s bottle. He drank from it and didn’t fall over. Torch slapped him on the back and laughed.
"You have some strange friends, Spacer Chick," Scholar said with a smile.
***
Jervos was out in the north field, over the ridge when the shipment was delivered. Martha stared in shock and tried to grasp what she was being told. The shiny new tractor, complete with every attachment she and Jervos could possibly want, was theirs, free and clear. All she had to do was sign the delivery confirmation form.
"But who—" she started for the tenth time.
"No names," the delivery man said patiently. He’d been well paid to deliver it so far out in the countryside. "Just this note."
Martha crumpled the paper. "What did they mean? Services rendered to the Patrol? We didn’t do anything special. Just took in those lost people. We even turned them in to Heber."
"I don’t know anything about that," the delivery man said. "I’m just being paid to bring it to you. Sign it, please."
Martha scrawled her name across the form, still staring at the tractor and holding the crumpled scrap of official paper.
The delivery man took the form, leaving her a copy. He climbed back in his oversized flitter and lifted away.
"Jervos?" Martha called. "Jervos!" She ran toward the far field. "You ain’t never seen the like of this! You aren’t going to believe it!"
Chapter 53
Ylisini was like I remembered it, smoggy and cloudy and smelling of industry. The repair yards covered twenty square miles. The Patrol base was set apart from the commercial fields. Lowell sent Paltronis with me. He had other business. Paltronis was quiet in the groundcar as it crawled through the Patrol field towards the commercial one. She hadn’t said much to me during the two weeks we’d been flying with Lowell in the small Patrol ship.
