But then, Leon wasn't Reno. Never had been.
No, Leon Bradshaw was just Maddox “Reno” Renner's best friend. It was some weird, convoluted web that none of us dared untangle. Not that we’d even know where to begin.
Leon I should want to sleep with, but didn't. Reno? God, I melted for him. Wafer thin chocolate under hot caramel. But I really, really shouldn't.
Reno glanced away for a beat, then back with that smirk that made me nervous. Like he knew something I didn’t. Which meant I was probably about to find out. His fingers caught a few strands of my hair, twisting them almost absently as he stared down at me, his dark eyes unwavering.
“You didn't ask why Leon wasn't at lunch.”
I shrugged, not liking where this was going, but adopting my best can you see the number of fucks I give stance.
“Your official boyfriend was banging Ashley in the guy's locker room,” he murmured. “Might need to give him a few hours before he’s good to go again.”
“I hate you,” I spat, and God, did I mean it. Yet my body leaned in. Can anyone say betrayal?
His smirk shifted into a cocky grin. “You only wish you did.”
My jaw locked. I only wished he wasn't right.
Four
Riley
“Hey, sweets. Good day?”
Mom’s tiny form sprawled lengthways on the built-in sofa that doubled as her bed, making it impossible to tell if she'd ventured out of it today. I could only hope it hadn't doubled as her entertainment center this afternoon, but casting a glance to the small kitchenette area, I saw no cookies.
She wasn't a total asshole. She was... misguided, let's say. She wasn't conventional, that was for damn sure, but then, she had become a single mom before she reached adulthood, and as far as I could tell, she just stopped there. She’d fed and clothed me, sometimes barely, patched up bumps and scrapes, and I'd always had a roof of sorts over my head. Mostly, she provided the basics, kept me alive, but let's be honest, it was the blind leading the blind.
Maybe she shouldn't have needed someone to tell her it wasn't the norm to be so open about sex with your kid, or ask them to vacate their home for extended periods of time to facilitate sex, but at this point she was more like the outrageous friend you had to explain to everyone than a mother. All I knew was I had a mom who dubbed herself a sex addict by choice, as if it was something to be proud of, like some display of female empowerment or healthy expression of her sexuality. Apparently, there was no shame in exploring our natural desires.
Standing here as the product of her explorations, I didn't share her views. I mean, I was happy to be alive obviously, but the circumstances of my conception were basically an advertisement for what not to do.
I knew she loved me. She’d always done her best.
“Sure,” I muttered.
“Great, hon.”
She swiftly returned her attention to the screen, blonde hair piled on her head in a messy bun, and her face a picture of giddy anticipation, fully absorbed in whatever drama was about to go down on the reality T.V. show she'd been watching before I arrived home. Real housewives of who-gave-a-crap where. Not sure the location mattered—different place, same garbage—they all morphed into the same person to me.
Pushing into the tiny bedroom, I slung my bag down to the floor and slumped back onto the lumpy twin bed, falling flat on my back with my legs flopping off the edge. The buzz of my cell sent vibrations along my hip bone. I groaned for two reasons. One, I knew it would be Leon, and I really wasn't up for explaining why I wasn't ready to have sex with him for the hundredth time, and two, the tingle running up my thigh made me think of Reno, which made me imagine what it would be like to sleep with him. If I could kick my ass, I would do it. For a second, I contemplated slapping myself in the face.
“Arghh!” I opted for slapping an arm across my face instead. I shook my head hard in an attempt to expel both the thoughts circling my brain and the inappropriate and unwanted desire that prompted them.
Why? Why did I have to want him so badly?
The buzzing stopped, and I let both arms drop out beside me, crucifix style. Someone should crucify me. I deserved it. Label or not, I had been sort of involved with Leon for the past few years, and yet I fantasized about slapping away the harem of barbies that clung to Reno like cleaner fish on a whale, and slotting myself right in their place. A frustrated moan tore from me.
There was something wrong with my wiring. That had to be it. Leon was a decent guy who didn't live to provoke me, which was more than I could say for Reno. If I ever asked, Leon would agree to be exclusive. I just didn't feel right restricting him like that when I couldn't stop pining after someone else. God, a few short hours ago I’d used him to get a reaction out of his best friend, and not for the first time.
My attraction to Reno was hideously inappropriate. I fought it constantly, but I felt sure Leon knew deep down that he wasn't the guy I wanted. He was just the guy I let myself have. I let him in because I knew he couldn't truly touch me. He was a buffer. Leon probably wanted to seal the deal with me because Reno hadn't and he wanted something, or in this case someone, Reno didn’t have first.
Leon was one of the most popular guys in school, but he was second best to Reno. They might be tight like brothers, but Reno held the spotlight and Leon stood next to him, always had.
I wished I felt something real for Leon, and a whole lot of nothing for his stupid friend, but for as long as I could remember, Reno stirred something in me I couldn't seem to shake or disguise very well. I flat out refused to admit the extent of his hold on me, though. Not even to myself. A river in Egypt and all that. I couldn't afford to go there.
I rolled sideways and curled into the fetal position as I contemplated what to do. I couldn't sleep with a guy just because I felt bad for him, gift him the win he so badly wanted. I couldn’t do it just to get at someone else. Could I? Could I really take it that far?
If I did, maybe Leon and I would both get over our Reno hang-ups. I was never going there with Reno, not ever, no matter how much that particular itch needed scratching. I already knew the ending to that story and happily ever after wasn't it. If I let myself go there, even once, there'd be no coming back. I'd become another in his vast collection of human sex toys, and I'd despise myself for it. I already flirted way too close to the line when it came to him. He wasn't into monogamy; he had it way too good to tie himself down. He'd never promise me anything, and I wanted someone to want me for more than sex. I'd sworn my entire life, I'd never let my self-respect become a casualty of my hormones. So, why not just do it with Leon? Get it over with?
Something inside of me recoiled at the thought.
My cell phone buzzed again.
“Hey.”
“Babe, where you at?”
“Home. Where am I supposed to be?”
“On the end of my dick!” Leon guffawed. I rolled my eyes. “J. K. But we're hooking up tonight, right?”
I rolled to my back and stared at the faded brown circles on the ceiling.
“Ri?”
“Huh? Oh, uh, I just... hey, Leon?”
“Yeah?”
I palmed my forehead, hating what I was about to do. “Hey, Leon, did you have sex with Ashley in the locker room at lunch?”
“I, uh... it was… we... what?”
His garbled response made it even harder. I was placing blame unfairly. I'd never asked him not to be with other girls, and I continuously played a game of fire with the guy he'd called brother since kindergarten. I was dangerously close to getting burned. This whole charade had to end.
“Look, Leon, I don't think this thing between us, should, uh, continue,” I said, my voice weak.
“What?” he clipped. “Are you fucking with me?”
“No, I'm not. I'm just... I don't think we're, well, I don't think this is going where either of us, uh, wants it to, uh, go.” Lame. Lame, lame, lame. I should have practiced something.
“Right. So where do you w
ant it to go?” He sounded hurt, and that hurt me. We'd been friends since I moved here over eight years ago. He had been the first person to talk to me. Granted, he’d pulled my pigtails at recess and caught farts in his hand before covering my face with it, from the ages of eight through to eleven, but I’d eventually figured out why. Boys!
God, I should never have touched his dick. Touching dicks ruins everything. What was I thinking?
“Uh... not where... you, um, want it to go?” I cringed at my own words.
He was silent for a beat. “Is this because I've been pushing for sex?”
I sighed. “Yes, and no.” Before he could interrupt, I hurried on, trying to explain without coming right out and confessing that it wasn't him I wanted. “It just made me realize that I'm not ready for any of this. Not sex, not a relationship, not... yet.” The lie tasted bitter, but it wasn't like I would ever act on my unwanted feelings for Reno.
“We don't have to have sex. We can just keep things the way they are, I'm good with tha—”
“No, Leon. I don't want to be doing anything with you, not if you're... doing stuff with other people.”
“I won't then. I won't touch anyone else.”
Jeez, this snowballed faster than I'd anticipated. Knocking the heel of my hand against my head, I glanced around the room for inspiration. Anything. Anything except I want to do your friend, not you, and I feel terrible about that and don’t want to keep stringing you along. “Uh, that's really not fair to you, Le.”
“Look, I want you, Riley.”
“I, uh…”
“I'll wait. I wouldn't have touched anyone else if I knew it would piss you off.”
“I'm not! I'm not pissed off, Leon. I just…” my voice trailed off, mainly because I didn’t know what the hell to say. I'd never doubted he liked me; I just didn't think there was anything real there. I certainly didn't expect this much resistance. I didn’t want to hurt him.
“Please, Ri. Just give me a chance. Give us a chance.”
The plea in his voice struck me directly in the chest. What the hell have I done?
My mouth opened but struggled to form words. “I... I... can’t—”
He cussed down the line, anger and frustration bleeding into his tone.
“Leon?”
“You think I don't know what this is?” There was an edge to his voice I'd never heard from him before. My pulse sped up. Games of the heart were no fun.
“What, what is?” I mumbled.
He went quiet. The silence stretched until it became uncomfortable. Just as I was about to speak up, he did, his voice low and angry. “He doesn't want you. He messes with you because he can. Because you wind up like a goddamn toy.” He practically spat the words down the line, and I felt the threads of our friendship strain.
“Leon—”
“No. I get it. You think I don't see the way you look at him, fucking drooling? You leave a puddle every time you're in the same room, and not just from your mouth.” Uh, gross. “You see the girls he fucks? Who throw themselves at him? And what, you think if you dump me, he'll trade all that for you?”
His mocking laughter hit my ears, and a flare of anger dampened my guilt.
So, I'd hurt him, and he was hitting back. I accepted my part, but I wasn’t about to just sit back and take it.
“Wow. Guess you see a lot standing in his shadow, huh?”
“You bitch!”
“Yeah, well, you're being an asshole!”
“Yeah, well, you're a whore!”
“I'm a virgin!” I screamed.
“You're fucking frigid!” he shouted.
“Make up your mind, you fucking idiot!” My breath huffed and my fingers flexed. If he were here, I'd be throwing fists right about now.
“You know what? Go fuck yourself, Ri!”
“Well, I definitely won't be fucking you!”
The line went silent.
I exhaled heavily. Great! Just great. Well, you handled that like a pro, Riley. Goddamn.
I flopped back on the bed, springs poking me in various places, thinking about how this was all Reno's fault.
Five
Reno
“The fuck's your problem?” Leon stalked past me in the guy’s locker room, deliberately body checking me on his way.
Throwing his gym bag down with more force than necessary, he glanced up, eyes hard, and bit out, “Fuck all, bro.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, seems like it.”
He stood up, striding right up to me, and snarled, “I don't give a shit what it seems like.”
“Back up,” I warned, my tone low and uncompromising. “What crawled up your ass?”
He reclaimed the space between us, his head raised to stare right into my eyes. “You.”
Yeah, this shit wasn't happening. If I’d done something to piss him off, he could quit talking in fucking riddles and spit it out. I rose to my full height, three inches over his, and puffed out my chest. “The fuck are you talking about? And… watch what you say next.”
He stood immobile for a few seconds, before blowing out a breath and shaking his head. “You know what? She's not even worth it.” Dropping his head, he pivoted and grabbed his bag, throwing it over his shoulder before brushing past me.
“Hey! Whoa!” I grabbed his shoulder, spinning him back. “The fuck you going? You pull this shit then storm out like some chick with PMS? Hell, no. Sit the fuck down. Explain yourself!”
“Fuck you!” He shrugged my hand off.
“Le!” I roared, my voice conveying pretty convincingly that I wasn't messing around anymore. If he wanted to act like a dick, he’d better explain why and it better be fucking good.
His shoulders sagged, and he turned around, eyes scanning the room. Two guys stood by, watching the show. I raised a brow, and they disappeared.
Leon sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Riley. She... ended... whatever the hell we had going on.”
Fuck.
I inhaled long and slow. Stale air invaded my nostrils as I dropped my thumbs onto my hips and nodded distractedly.
Leon knocked his head against the wall, followed by a clenched fist, then he slumped to the bench. “Apparently there wasn't much to end, anyway.”
I stood back and watched my oldest friend grapple with emotions only Riley Mason could provoke. I'd been batting off the fuckers for as long as I could remember. She was the hottest chick in school, bar none. Feisty, smart mouthed, gave zero fucks... so, a walking wet dream. I'd been hard for her for at least the last four years. She'd been eye fucking me almost as long. I'd have to pull out her voice box and squeeze the words out myself if I wanted to hear her say it, though.
She'd pegged me as a man-whore early on and refused to re-categorize me. On the basis I’d plowed my way through most of the cheer squad multiple times, can't say I blamed her. What I could say, though, was her pairing off with Leon, no matter how casual they'd been, had provided a mental barrier I'd needed to keep my mind off her. And my hands. Mostly.
Coincidentally, it had kept every other guy at bay. Something I appreciated, for reasons I wasn't willing to analyze. The simple fact was that the thought of anyone touching her didn't sit well with me. Leon, I'd learned to deal with because whatever they did together—and I knew they’d never fucked—didn't stop Ri looking at me like she wanted to screw me on the nearest available surface. Call me a warped son of a bitch, but I craved that look in her eyes. I wanted her burning for me, even if I had no intention of dousing the flames. The situation was fucked-up, twisted, whatever. It was what it was. I wasn't about to analyze that shit either.
I was already picturing her hips swaying as she strutted around school. Fuck, she was too tempting. And every other asshole around here agreed. The girl was prime real estate, and she'd just gone on the open market.
Nope, not going there. I wanted her too damn much. Too much to pretend it would be a casual hook up. I had no intention of going anywhere near where that would lead.
But I
sure as shit didn't want any other fucker having her.
Head buzzing with all the ass backward ideas that unwelcome realization conjured, I tightened my jaw and attempted to pull my shit together before glancing back down to where Le's dejected form sat slumped over. Moving closer, I clapped my hand around his shoulder briefly then strode away.
I spent the next hour busting my ass and burning off a shit ton of excess tension. Showering and towelling off quickly, I scrubbed the coarse fabric against my skin then dragged it over my hair. My gaze finally settled on Leon's bent head. “You good, man?”
His brows hitched, like he was anything fucking but. “Guess so.”
I observed him a beat longer. “Catch up with you outside, yeah?”
Jerking his head in acknowledgement, he stood, pulling the sides of his bag open and stuffing his crap inside.
Hauling mine from the bench, I exited through the doors and down the hall. And the person who'd occupied my thoughts for the past sixty minutes appeared in front of me, seemingly out of fucking thin air. Because why the fuck wouldn't she?
My eyes followed Riley's lycra-clad ass like a horny heat-seeking missile, and my groin stiffened to the point of painful. It wasn’t the first time my dick had reacted to her body, far from it. But it might have been the first time I'd looked at her and known nothing stood between us. My feet drew to a stop and my chest expanded as saliva pooled in my mouth. I flattened a hand over my still damp hair as every muscle tensed.
Do not fucking go there.
As if she heard me, Riley flicked her head back and peered over her shoulder. Bright green eyes found mine and bulged instantly. She stumbled once, righting herself as my gaze latched onto hers, holding her captive. Her forehead scrunched and her slim shoulders shuddered with her indrawn breath. Pink spots bloomed on her cheeks.
Visibly straining with the effort, she finally tugged her gaze from mine—a fraction of a second too late. I’d already clocked the desire raging in her eyes. And even if I hadn’t, I’d seen it there a thousand times before. She couldn’t hide then, and she damn sure couldn’t hide it from me now. Not even when her lids swooped down and she swung her head away, scampering out of sight like she knew what would happen if I caught up to her.
Untouchable: (Unstoppable - Book 1) (The Unstoppable Series) Page 2
