“Why?” Riley whispered.
I stood still, staring unseeing into the fridge. “Because this isn’t going to work.”
Silent seconds ticked by. “Don’t I get a say?”
Slipping the door closed, I pivoted and leaned back against it, resolute. “No.”
Her lips pursed in frustration and her small hands flattened on the counter behind her as she straightened. “You said you loved me. A few weeks ago. You said those words. Was that just bullshit?”
Breath escaped my lips in a harsh puff. “That feels like a different fucking lifetime, Riley.”
Her head tilted as she observed me, her fingertips curling around the counter. “And you don’t feel that way anymore?”
I met her gaze, rising off the fridge and rocking on the balls of my feet, planting my hands low on my hips. “I’m not the same guy anymore.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Shaking my head, I dragged air in through my nose. “What do you want me to say?”
She took a step away from the counter, and then another, moving toward me until only inches separated us. “I want you to say it.”
Voice rough as gravel, I asked a question I already knew the answer to. “What?”
I knew what she wanted from me. She wanted words I couldn’t fucking bring myself to say. Her closeness was goddamn intoxicating, messing with my head, with my reasoning and resolve. Making me question what the fuck I was doing.
Eyes blazing, she opened her lips. “I want to hear you say you don’t love me anymore.”
Fuck. My chest heaved as I looked down at her. Feelings and emotions battered me like a hurricane against storm shutters.
“Everything ends, Riley. Sooner or later. Might as well get it over with.”
“Eventually,” she agreed, running the tip of her tongue along her top lip, just to drive me to the fucking brink of my control it seemed. “But what about the middle part? You miss out on so much if you cut right to the end. I want the middle, Maddox. We deserve that.”
My lungs faltered at the unfamiliar sound of my given name on her lips. Fuck, I liked it. Too much.
“I already know how it ends. Everything in between is me waiting for the day you leave me.”
“Where am I going?” She breathed softly, pinkie finger reaching out to snag mine, interlacing them together. I swallowed roughly, that small touch sparking like a current. I withdrew my hand, severing the link.
“Anywhere. Nowhere. Doesn’t matter. You. Will. Leave.”
The affection in her gaze, in the light touch of her skin to mine, was unwavering and uncompromising. But I couldn’t look at it, didn’t want it. I wanted nothing else to lose. Stepping back, I broke the connection between us, my eyes hard, unyielding.
“I’m saving us both a fuck load of heartache, Riley. You’ll thank me one day.”
A light smirk touched her lips. The sight of it was so unexpected, I didn’t know how to react.
“You can’t say it, can you?”
Realization sent my head downward, hanging heavily from my shoulders. I don’t fucking love you. They were just words. I couldn’t say them. Not now, maybe never. But it changed nothing. Love was a weakness. One I didn’t want.
She drifted backward toward the door, still facing me as her hand closed around the handle.
“I realized something tonight. We’re both scared. Scared to give someone else the power to hurt us. But it’s too late for me. I’m already there. I meant it when I told you I loved you. I can’t just give up on that. Someone told me tonight that you might still feel the same way.” Her throat bobbed delicately as she swallowed. “If that’s not true anymore, then okay, I’ll walk away. But you need to convince me first. So, until you say it… I’m not giving up on you. One day, you will thank me for that.” She spoke surely, her voice and expression determined.
Her words rattled me, shook the cages of my resolve.
“You’ll end up getting hurt, Riley,” I warned gruffly, but with far less conviction than I’d intended.
Without so much as a batted eyelash, she declared, “I’ll survive.”
Then she whirled around and disappeared through the doorway, leaving my head in chaos and my heart in fucking ruins.
Twenty-Six
Riley
“What the...?” I sputtered as Liss backed into me, her heel smashing down on my toe. She hastily grasped my hand and led me away from the cafeteria doors.
“You know what?” she practically yelled, eyes extra wide. “We should eat somewhere else. We’re allowed off campus for lunch senior year. Seems a shame we haven’t exercised that right.”
My face twisted, bewildered. “Um, okay, that didn’t come out of left field or anything. But yeah, super idea, Liss. How about we do that tomorrow when I’m not effing starving to death and conveniently situated right outside the cafeteria?”
Patting her shoulder, I swerved around her. She muttered what sounded like a Jesus under her breath, before trailing after me. I felt her mouth close to my ear as I pushed through the doors and my eyes landed on a sight I had neither wanted nor expected to see, ever again.
Liss spoke quickly. “He's back. Don’t lose your shit.”
I felt the bite of pain before I realized I’d clenched my fists so tight the nails were cutting into my skin.
“Riley, don’t react, we know what he’s doing,” Liss cautioned.
My breath came in sharp, angry pants, teeth crunching against each other. I inhaled through flared nostrils, trying to calm myself. But I’d taken four strides before I knew what I was doing, stopping in front of the boy who seemed determined to prove something to himself—or me, or both of us—and the girl whose trashy ass spilled out of his lap. The furious beat of my heart must have been clear for everyone in a ten-foot radius to hear.
“I need a word.”
“No,” he clipped, without looking up.
“Now.”
With infuriatingly slow and deliberate movements, he tipped his chin. Hard, obstinate eyes met mine. “As you can see, I’m busy.”
I could almost smell the satisfaction seeping from Raya's pores like a foul odor. Gaze fixed sharply on Reno, I cocked my head. “Yeah, looks it.”
I allowed my eyes to trail to Raya, who was struggling to contain her glee, her brown eyes sparkling with delight.
“Had some work done on your lips, Raya?” I asked, injecting a dose of civility into my tone that had her eyes narrowing in suspicion for a second, before her features swiftly settled back into the sneer she reserved, just for me. “Channelling Kylie Jenner, these days, huh?”
I heard Liss’ scoff of disagreement. Raya eyed me without speaking, considering the words that sounded like a compliment to her ears, but knowing not to trust them. She shouldn’t.
“They look like they’d be perfect for kissing,” I mused, tapping a finger against my chin as my head slid back toward Reno, trapping him in my stare. “I know how much you two love putting on a show. How about giving the lady a kiss, Ren?”
I stood in front of him, arms crossed over my chest, defiance stamped all over my face. My eyes dared him to do it. But the show of bravado was just that—a show.
Blind panic rushed me, climbing up my throat and gripping my chest with bony hands. I didn’t know what I’d do if he called my bluff. And I had no guarantee he wouldn’t… except for his reaction when I'd asked him if he’d kissed another girl at that party in Richmond. He’d more than denied it, as if the idea offended him. To this day, he’d still kissed no one but me. I may well be acting like a damn crazy person, and every one of my trembling limbs suggested that was the case, but that knowledge was enough to convince me to stand my ground. He wanted to prove a point. Well, I had something to prove, too. To myself, but more importantly, to him.
Reno’s face turned to stone in front of my eyes, his skin blanching beneath his natural tan. The sight bolstered my confidence. He wouldn’t do it. I felt some of the tension drain from me; my sho
ulders relaxed, and my breaths eased.
Perched on Reno’s thigh, Raya swivelled to look at his face. Her expression faltered when she found his attention fixed firmly on me. She frowned, uncertain, her ire-filled gaze flitting between me and Reno. Forcing a high-pitched laugh, she twisted until her back pressed to his chest and snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Bitch, we’re not here for your entertainment. Move on.”
I slid my gaze to hers and flashed her a smirk. Yeah, she knew he wasn’t putting his lips on hers. And she knew I knew it. The hand clutching Reno’s knee tightened. Blind fury flashed in her eyes, almost palpable.
“Oh, really? I’ve seen you suck a dick under this very table for everyone’s entertainment, but kissing you have a problem with?” Slanting a brow up, I levelled her with a look of skepticism. “I guess some lips are only good for wrapping around a piece of meat, huh?”
Her jaw clenched, cheekbones flushing with spots of pink as she shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting surreptitiously around the table.
“Not sure if you remember it, but Reno and I locked lips right. Over. There.” I motioned to the center of the room, the exact spot we were standing when Reno told me he loved me. I didn’t miss the pulsing in Reno’s jaw, or the muscles in his forearm pulling taut as he clenched and unclenched his hand into a tight ball by his side. When I turned back, those full lips of his had settled into a grim line, and his stare burned through me. “What’s the problem, Ren? Don’t tell me you’ve gone all shy on us?”
Brown eyes spitting fire, he jerked up from his seat, tipping Raya out of his lap so abruptly she dropped to a knee on the ground before quickly righting herself. He didn’t spare her a glance as he clamped a hand around my wrist and carted me from the room.
My back collided with the solid surface of the nearest wall the instant we'd cleared the cafeteria doors. Fury colored his gaze black.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he grated, hot breath fanning my lips as he leaned in.
Fluttering my lashes up at him, I widened my eyes. “What? You didn’t want to kiss her?”
His chin lifted, the muscle in his jaw ticking furiously. “Don’t fuck with me, Riley.”
“Want me to fuck you instead?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.
Some of his anger dissipated, swiftly replaced by another kind of heat. His attention dropped to my lips. I swept the tip of my tongue over them, watching as the rhythm of his breathing changed.
His voice low and throaty, he said, “Don’t start a game you won’t win, Ri.”
I shrugged, not letting him look away. “Ready to say it yet?”
He caught the challenge in my tone. His body stiffened at my words. Pushing him could go one way or the other, but at this point, I’d take either of those options over his blatant indifference, or avoidance, or watching him get goddamn lap dances from Queen Bee-yatch.
Thrusting away from me, he positioned his hands on his hips and levelled me with a pointed look. “You think you’re changing anything by doing this?”
“Why not just kiss her? You’re using her to make a point, right? Or to hurt me? That’s what this is. You want to push me away, make me hate you so it won’t matter whether you can say it. And then, just maybe, you can fool yourself into thinking you don’t feel it. So, go ahead… what’s stopping you?” I asked, almost breathless, emphasising every word.
His jaw clenched so tight, I expected shards of tooth to come flying out of his mouth. His body whirled from me, one hand slapping down hard against the opposite wall with a heavy thud while the other grasped the nape of his neck. The fight in me evaporated. My breath left me in a heavy exhale.
“You don’t have to do this, Ren. You’re scared to lose anyone else; I get it. You’ve lost so much already. But doesn’t that mean you should hang onto the things you have? I’m here, Ren, right here, and I’m telling you I’m going nowhere.”
The line of his shoulders tensed, bunching up around his neck. Closing the slight distance between us, I placed a timid hand on his back and pressed my forehead down into the hollow between his shoulder blades. My brows pulled down and my eyes swept closed.
“I’m going nowhere. I promise.”
He straightened, pulling his shoulders back, before turning and stalking off down the hall without another word. My hand fell to my side and my heart settled somewhere in the pit of my stomach. I tracked his departure until he disappeared from sight.
“Handled that like a boss, babe,” Liss praised gently as she pushed through the double doors seconds later, a sandwich in each hand.
Falling into step beside her, I took the sandwich, wrapping both hands around it. “I’ll get yours tomorrow,” I said.
“After that display? Not necessary. Free subs for life.”
A wry smile tugged at my lips as I shook my head. “Excessively generous but I accept, and no take backsies.”
“Are you kidding? Did you see Raya’s ass getting unceremoniously dumped on the floor like a sack of potatoes back there? I’ll be replaying that shit in my head for years to come. You’ve more than earned a free lunch.”
If avoiding me was an Olympic sport, Reno would have taken gold, no contest. When he bothered to show up to school, he acted as if I didn’t exist. That hurt. But he didn’t let Raya sit on his lap at lunch anymore, and he seemed to ignore her as much as he did me. That made up for it a little. But if Reno won gold for ignoring me, Raya took first place for getting all up in my face at every possible opportunity. Case in point...
“Oh great,” I drawled sarcastically as she rounded the corner and strutted in my direction with an exaggerated sway to her hips, her shiny black hair fastened in a severe high pony that pulled her features taut. “And there I was just starting to worry that I might get through a day without bumping into you. Not sure how I would have coped.”
Her chin jutted out as she came to a stop and slammed my locker door shut, very nearly taking the skin of my nose with it.
Brow lifted, I faced her, and snapped, “Wanna watch it? We don’t all have a plastic surgeon on speed dial. I’m sure your guy’s booked out for the next few weeks trying to fix that botch job he did on your face.”
Hand still planted on my locker door, she leaned in. “I’d say I could recommend someone to help you out with all this.” She swirled a finger in a full circle in front of my face, glossy pout turning down in distaste. “But I don’t know anyone that talented.”
“Yeah, I see that,” I muttered. “Judging by your face, I’d say the level of talent you’re accustomed to is one step up from a trained monkey armed with a scalpel. But then, what else can you expect from a backstreet clinic that lets you pay in blow jobs.”
“Look, you pathetic bitch, I’m not interested in trading insults with you. You’re not worth it.”
I scoffed.
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Just in case you haven’t got the message yet... stay away from Reno. He doesn’t want you. I was by his side long before you came on the scene, and I’ll still be there when he’s forgotten all about you. I’m his queen.”
Leaning sideways against my locker, I cocked my head and squinted at her. “If you’re so sure about that, what’s got you so threatened?”
Her nostrils flared as her eyes assessed me like she was plotting all the ways she could murder me in her head. “Just stay away, tramp.”
My mouth snapped open, eyebrows hitting my hairline. “Oh, I’m the tramp?”
“Well, what do you call someone who hops between best friends like they’re rides at a state carnival?”
I barked out a laugh. “Oh, that’s rich! I doubt there’s a single ride at the carnival you haven’t tried out yet.”
“You know, that mouth of yours will get you in a lot of trouble one of these days.”
“And yours is what you’ll use on your future pimp to score your next fix when you’re a strung-out, coked up hooker one day.” Some part of me felt bad as soon as the words left my mouth. Even the voice in
my head said low blow. But I didn’t start this. I didn’t accost her outside of her locker and try to swipe her crooked nose clean off her face when she was minding her own damn business, now did I?
Her fist slammed hard against the locker. A loud clang traveled the length of the empty hallway. “Shut the fuck up,” she seethed, stepping closer, gaze scoping up and down the hall. Probably looking for witnesses.
Chin up, I met her step with one of my own. “Make me.”
I knew we’d come to blows one day, but I’d have preferred it not to be in the middle of the school hall. I couldn’t really risk a suspension this close to graduation. No way in hell would I back down to her, though.
A few students ambled through the doorway. We stared each other down for a while, before she took a step back, raising a hand and flashing some god-awful talons in my face.
“Like I’d waste my acrylics on you.” Her eyes roved up and down my body with contempt. “Got them done special for my boyfriend’s birthday party tonight.”
The barb struck exactly where she’d intended. But I’d be damned if a single part of me showed it. I was aware of the party, a small gathering for Reno’s eighteenth, which he would have just ignored. But with all the shit life had thrown at him, it was especially important to celebrate the good. I'd overheard the guys talking about it in a conversation. Given its abrupt ending and their remorseful expressions when they'd noticed me, apparently it wasn’t something they’d intended for me to hear.
Safe to say, I wasn’t on the guest list. I hadn’t planned on going. I’d made efforts to talk to him the past few days, continued to text him, and blatantly refused to lay down and die, but I’d drawn the line at showing up to a party he didn’t invite me to. So no, I’d had zero plans to attend.
Untouchable: (Unstoppable - Book 1) (The Unstoppable Series) Page 13
