“Lieutenant Howitz, kindly remember your place.”
I swallowed and stepped forward. “Excuse me.”
All three of them turned to look at me.
I didn't know what to say. I was so tired. “Maybe... everyone could use some rest?”
“Sounds good to me,” the Captain agreed, a bit too readily.
“Do you want to make an announcement?” I suggested after a moment.
“Oh, sure.” He sat back in his chair and pressed the intercom button on its arm. “Attention crew, we're going to keep regular duty hours for the time being. Get your rest. You'll need it. Stacey, I'm ready for you to take over while I go to dinner and then bed. Goodnight all.”
He turned off the intercom and looked at me. I nodded wearily. “See you tomorrow, Captain.”
“'Night, Andi.”
I looked wistfully at my brother. “Goodnight, August.”
“Goodnight.”
Feeling heavier than ever, I left and crept down the ship to my bed. I'd rarely gone to bed without saying goodnight to the Doctor, but right now all I wanted was to be under the covers. I didn't even have time to pray between when my head touched the pillow and when sleep overtook me.
Chapter X
I was awakened by a blood-curdling scream, and I flew upright in my bed. The scream went on, and my disoriented brain raced to try to figure out the source. It was a man's scream, high and long and terrible, and with a slight static to it. The intercom.
The Captain. I had never heard him scream in my life, but I could hear the tone of his voice in the disconcerting sound. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and let my feet drop onto the hard floor. Not bothering to grab my robe, I raced out of the room.
As I skidded into the corridor, doors opened all along it and pajama-clad crewmembers filtered out into the hall. The Captain's scream sounded from every intercom along the corridor wall, and from every room.
I ran towards the Captain's quarters, not stopping to speak to anyone along the way, ignoring the dazed, blinking stares that followed me as I raced. The scream continued.
I reached his door and didn't bother to knock. I typed in the Doctor's emergency medical clearance code and it slid open.
The room was pitch black and the scream went on, less fuzzy than it had been over the speakers. “Captain!”
Putting my hands out in front of me, I stumbled through the room. “Harrison!”
The scream stopped abruptly, and I slammed my shin into the corner of the bed. I winced and clutched my leg, but limped a few steps closer.
“Captain?”
My eyes adjusted slowly to the darkness, bringing into focus his upright form on the bed. He panted heavily.
“Captain, it's me, Andi.”
He didn't move, speak, or give any indication at all that he'd heard me.
“Are you okay? Are you sick?” I laid my hand on his forehead and found it slick with sweat. “Captain?”
He turned to look at me and I could barely make out the whites of his eyes. “What was it?”
“Sir?”
“What was it... I could feel it...”
“May I ask what's going on?” The Doctor's voice sounded from the direction of the dim hallway light that slipped through the open door.
“I don't know.” I stood up straight and turned to face him.
He strolled forward and I stepped back from the bed. A crowd gathered at the Captain's door, murmuring crewmembers still mostly in pajamas with a few green uniforms sprinkled in.
I turned on the backlight of my wristcom and used it to navigate through the room to the intercom on the wall to the right of the bed. It was on, and set to transmit through the entire ship.
I spoke into it. “The Captain is being taken care of. Please return to your stations or your rest. We have it under control.”
I turned off the intercom and glanced at the doorway to watch the crowd slowly disperse, still chattering. Then I turned back to the Doctor and the Captain.
The Doctor murmured a question and the Captain continued panting as he answered. “I don't know... I saw Lee... and mother, and there was this... thing, like a... I don't know, it was brown, and huge... and like a scorpion.”
“It was a dream, Trent,” said the Doctor soothingly. I had never heard him use that tone before.”
“All right... but... I did feel it...”
“Sir,” I spoke up, striving to keep my voice professional, “the intercom was on. Someone knew you would be screaming.”
The dim light illuminated a courteous smile from the Doctor. “You aren't saying that this was real.” It wasn't a question; it was a statement.
I sighed. “No sir... probably a drug? At least, it could be...”
He looked at me for a moment, and then the smile vanished and his voice took on a tone closer to normal. “I can at least have a look.”
“But who would do this and why?” I turned to look back at the intercom.
“Andi,” the Captain said, his voice still shaking but slightly more solid, “go back to sleep. I really need you rested. Your dad will take care of me.”
“But...”
Before I could finish my protest, a male voice spoke from the intercom. “Captain? Is everything okay?”
I looked toward the Captain, hesitating. He nodded, and I stepped up to the intercom again and replied, “This is Andi Lloyd. He's fine.”
“We found another message.” I identified the voice as the night captain's now, and I looked to the Captain for guidance. He started to push himself out of bed.
The Doctor protested mildly but coldly. “I don't think that is the best idea.”
The Captain paused, and turned to me.
Going against the Doctor was the last thing I wanted to do, but he really wasn't himself at the moment. “I think he's needed to guide the ship right now... you could test him later...”
“She's right,” the Captain agreed, then stood up. “Gerry, I'll be there as soon as I'm done. I really will.”
“Of course.” The polite smile returned as the Doctor turned and walked out of the room, and it made me shiver.
“Andi,” the Captain continued, pulling his uniform off the back of the chair next to his bed, “Get up to the bridge. I'll be right there.”
I left his cabin to obey, and found the halls nearly empty again. The occasional crewmember who passed me in uniform stared at me as I walked by.
I felt suddenly very alone. I was the only one, on a ship of a hundred and thirty people, who could think clearly. Were there those who resented my sudden power over them? The thought made me want to shrink away, find a quiet, dark corner of the lounge, and just curl up there to pray, and think, and be with no one but myself and God.
I pushed the feelings away and focused on getting to the bridge. If the Captain had been drugged, why would someone want to do that to him? The answer was evident as I thought about it. It was a humiliating and disrespectful thing to happen to a starship Captain—for the entire crew to be privy to his most private moments of fear and disorientation. Someone was trying to bring him down in the eyes of his crew. But who would want to do that?
There was no real answer to this, because the answer really was anyone. Right now, anyone could want to do that. Everyone but myself was so vastly wrong in their heads right now that nobody could know how twisted their motivations might be. Theoretically even I might want to do it, since taking him out would put me in charge of the entire ship.
I in charge of the entire ship! That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted things to go back to normal. I wanted just to be the little unranked second medical officer and help the Doctor and the Captain and Almira and explore the stars one sector at a time.
I wanted my home and my family back.
When I reached the bridge, Stacey was still in the captain's chair, and the other posts were filled by people I only vaguely recognized. I'd rarely been on the bridge at night, and the night officers changed semi-frequently. The
y were usually in training for other positions.
Whoever they were, the prevailing attitude on the bridge at the moment was lax at best. The helmsman tapped absently on his panel, the science exec was on the floor with his head resting on his chair, sleeping, and Stacey himself was making shapes with a piece of string that was twined in his fingers.
“Andi Lloyd on the bridge,” I said. “Captain Trent asked me to wait for him here. He'll be right up.”
Stacey turned to me, still playing with his string, and smiled, a broad grin that looked nothing like his normal self. “Righto! Go ahead and read off the message again, Billy.”
I tried to ignore his attitude and turned to the night comm marshal, who began to read from his screen.
“We seek the light, but find ourselves only in white darkness. Oh that the pangs of hunger for freedom would leave us! We seek eternally, never claiming respite as our own. Though I would fain see the stars again, I see them now as through a storm cloud, reminding us of the glory that was our travel and now is not.”
Stacey threw back his head and laughed. A few of the other officers followed his example, and I frowned.
“How did we find this?”
“Just picked it up,” Stacey explained. “We were just sorta going around.”
“Just sortof going around?” I stepped closer to him.
He shrugged and shook the string off his hands. “Well, exploring a little. You know, trying to navigate.”
I didn't have to force my voice to be stern now. I was exhausted, and I was tired of childish behavior. “Were you continuing along the straight path the Captain determined earlier?”
Stacey waved his hand in the direction of the helm. “I just let Jones have at it. We can't see where we're going. What difference does it make?”
This made the other officers laugh again, except the sleeping one.
“Quiet!” I yelled.
They stopped.
I walked over to Stacey. “Captain Trent gave orders that you were to travel in a straight line.”
“Sorry.”
I didn't know what to say. I wanted to order him to the brig, but I didn't think that was really my place. I rubbed my forehead, trying to soothe the frustration that burned on my tongue. “Has the ship been stopped?”
The night helmsman turned. “I stopped it when we picked up the message.”
“Good. The Captain will be here in a moment.”
I looked at Stacey again, bracing myself for the broad grin, but his face had changed drastically. He didn't look like he was about to laugh now. His features were set, eyebrows furrowed over slightly glazed eyes. “What?” he said.
“The Captain will be here in a moment,” I repeated.
He turned to look out the starboard window and didn't say anything. Nor did anyone else.
My head hurt. I rubbed it again, then started to turn away from the Captain's chair.
Stacey gripped my wrist and spoke in a low, urgent tone.
“Miss Lloyd... I'm sorry...”
I turned back to him. His eyes were wide with surprise, and the tendons in his throat were taut.
“Thank you, Commander Stacey.” The Captain's voice broke loudly and clearly into the confusion. “You are dismissed for the moment.”
Stacey let go of my wrist, stood up, and faced the Captain. “Captain, I...”
“Dismissed.”
Stacey nodded. “Yes sir.” He looked at me again, and left the bridge.
The Captain settled into his chair, each movement slow and heavy. “Gerry took a blood sample,” was his answer to my unspoken question, “so he can test it before anything has a chance to work out of my system. Let's hear the message.”
I ignored my nagging frustration that they had disregarded my advice that the Captain come up immediately, and listened as the night comm marshal read the nonsensical message aloud again. The Captain listened, eyelids drooping.
There was silence for a few moments afterwards, then the Captain spoke up. “In both messages he makes reference to not being able to get out. Why? If they went straight, they should eventually be able to leave... we could sense space on the other side of this cloud several AUs away when we were still on the outside. It's not infinite.” He heaved a sigh, leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes.
I timidly offered a solution. “Maybe because of the state of their crew?”
“Hmm?”
I told him how Stacey had ignored his orders about the straight line. Instead of getting angry, he sighed again. “That might do it.”
“So do we try the process again?” I asked. “Trace another line?”
He shrugged. “It's our best bet. Though I'm going to order a thorough check of the engines and thrusters and all to make sure things aren't worse than we think...” His sentence trailed off, and he kept his eyes closed.
He needed sleep. I needed sleep. Captain Stacey was in no shape to command, but we needed to keep going, to find the Pigeon as soon as possible.
I drew in a sharp breath as the thought hit me. “Captain?”
“Hmm?”
“Who would you consider least qualified to run this ship?”
He thought for a moment, then a tired smile spread across his face. With his eyes still closed, he said, “Crash.”
I couldn't help a smile.
He opened his eyes. “I see what you mean. Let Crash run things while we get some rest?”
“Yes sir.”
“It's just crazy enough to maybe work.” He chuckled, and pushed himself out of the chair and onto his feet. “Mr. Welles, please call for Mr. Crash to come to the bridge. I'll explain his duties to him. Andi, check with your dad on the blood sample, in case I need another checkup before bed.”
“Yes sir.” I started toward the doors, but he called after me.
“Andi?”
I looked over my shoulder at him. “Yes?”
“Thank you.”
I smiled wearily. “My pleasure, sir.” Then I left the bridge.
My confidence seeped out with each step as I walked to the elevator, and I slumped against the back wall when I got there. I was so, so tired. God... I need help. It had only been one day. Who knew how long we would be here?
Queasiness stirred in my stomach as I slipped into sickbay. I told myself the feeling was from the tiredness, but I knew that in truth I didn't want to face the Doctor right now. This Doctor was a stranger. And nothing was more disconcerting than looking into the face of the one person who'd been a constant through my entire life, and seeing unfamiliar eyes.
I glanced around the long, dim, white room but didn't see him. Light streamed from under his office door on the left of the far wall, and I made my way towards it, sorely tempted to stop at one of the cots and just lie down and sleep.
I reached the office, let the door slide noiselessly open, and peeked in. Sure enough he was sitting at his desk, holding a vial of blood and staring vacantly at the wall. He saw me when I poked my head through the door, and smiled a tiny bit. “Hello, Andi.”
“Hello, Doctor,” I replied, hesitating.
He beckoned me in, and I slipped through the doorway and sat at the chair across from him.
He set the vial down and folded his arms on his desk. He just looked at me. “You doing okay?” he asked softly.
For a moment, I willed myself to be professional and strong, then I melted into tears. I couldn't help it. His voice sounded almost normal, and all of the emotions and frustrations and stress that had built up over the past two days exploded in quiet sobs that shook my body. In a second his arms wrapped around me and his hand pulled my head onto his shoulder. “Hey. It'll be okay.”
I just cried against him until I was too tired even to cry, and then I just sat there, silent, in his arms.
“I'm sorry,” he said.
“It's okay,” I whispered.
“No, it's not.” His voice held its normal gruff, but warm tone. “It's not okay at all.”
I laughed a
tiny bit. “Okay. Maybe not.”
We just sat there for a moment, then he said, “You need to go to bed.”
“I know.”
I didn't move, and neither did he.
After a moment, he spoke again. “I know I haven't been myself, Andi. It's... I can't even explain it. But I'm still me. I love you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And we're going to get through this, all right?”
“All right.”
“Trent couldn't ask for a better consultant.”
I only tightened my arms around him. He gave an answering squeeze, then slowly let go. “Go to sleep, Andi. You need it. I'll test the blood and let you know the results tomorrow.”
I kissed his cheek, then left the room and went back to bed, feeling the exhausted relief of having cried all my tears out for the time being.
Chapter XI
When I woke up, I felt like going immediately back to sleep. The events of the previous day and night chased each other around in my head as I tried to remember exactly what was going on. Reversal. I was second in command. Crash had been supposed to guide during the night.
I laid in bed an extra minute or two, flat on my back, staring at the high, metal ceiling. I couldn’t possibly make it through another day like the day before. At least, I didn’t think so. I prayed for help.
I got out of bed and changed into my uniform.
When I arrived on the bridge, Crash was still in the captain's chair but every other spot had been filled by its normal day officer.
“Andi Lloyd on the bridge,” I said, stepping forward.
Crash turned and nodded at me. “Good morning. Did the Captain send you?”
I had subconsciously expected him to grin and greet me with a “Hey, And.”
“No, I don't know if he's up yet. I just came to see what's going on.”
“On track so far, as far as I can tell. McMillan is running tests on the engineering systems as best he can, as per the Captain's request. Doctor Lloyd and Mr. Whales are working to find a solution to the cloud problems.”
I nodded. “Should I awaken the Captain, then?”
Crash shrugged. “You can let him sleep until we have something to report, if you like.”
Firmament: Reversal Zone Page 7
