by Zoe York
She had no secrets from this man. He knew what made her tick, what made her scream. Even what made her feel sad and small. I think I love you, she wanted to say. So maybe she had one secret, after all, because she couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t, and the cruel irony was enough to make her cry, but Ryan was making love to her with his mouth and she needed to cling to that instead.
Feel what he’s doing to you, her inner voice of reason promised. That’s love, too.
He was stoking her fires, that’s what he was doing. Not teasing, exactly, because it was damn satisfying, but he wasn’t in any hurry for her to come either. He was taking his time, alternating between long, lazy strokes of his tongue and wiggly little twists with just the tip, exploring her most private places until she was panting and blushing and out of her mind with desire for him.
And then he slid his fingers inside her. First one, then two, and when she started begging for more, three thick digits squeezed inside her, making her burn.
Inside, he stroked his fingertips against her hungry walls, and his mouth kept working hard, too, as he lapped at her clit and the lips stretched wide around his fingers.
She panted his name as her hips started jerking of their own accord, rocking against him as she started climbing the ramp toward a climax. “Sooo close,” she moaned, ending on a squeak as he closed his mouth around her swollen clit and sucked.
She didn’t scream, because she’d twisted her face into the pillow, but inside she was throwing a ticker tape parade for Ryan and his talented mouth. Aftershocks ricocheted throughout her body, nerve endings firing at random as he slowly slid his fingers from her body, squeezing her entire pussy gently as he moved back up her body, pulling her tight against him.
She burrowed deep into his side, and they lay there, just holding each other, for quite some time.
But it couldn’t last…she knew that. They probably had less time than when she walked up the dark lane to his place. “You have to go, don’t you?”
He nodded in answer to her quiet question, then kissed her forehead. “Soon.”
They hadn’t even gotten all the way naked. Her heart squeezed. “Okay.”
“But not yet,” he promised, his voice rough, rasping in the quiet. She didn’t look up at his face. She didn’t want to cry. “I’m not done with you.”
She wanted to read so much into that statement. Too much. I’m not done with you, either. But she couldn’t say it, because she meant it in a way that Ryan couldn’t.
— TWENTY —
WHEN Ryan saw Dani and Matt Foster climbing out of their ambulance at Mac’s on Tuesday, he knew it was a sign. His in-laws were heading out of town on Thursday, Holly’s guest was gone…life was back to the weird new normal, and he wanted to take her out on a date.
But he needed a babysitter first.
He parked in the gravel lot and jumped out of his truck. “Hey guys!”
They turned and waved, waiting for him. As he approached, Matt’s phone rang. Serendipity.
He waited until Matt headed around the corner, then he turned to Dani. “I have a favour to ask you.”
“Shoot.”
It required telling her something, but he didn’t need anyone else in on his secret. “I need a babysitter for Saturday night. In return, I’ll make sure Matt doesn’t book any strippers for Jake’s bachelor party.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I can do that all on my own. And why do you need a babysitter?” She punched him lightly in the upper arm. “Is it a hot date?”
“You think Matt’s going to be honest with you about his stripper plans?”
“Nice distraction technique. Tell me more about this mystery woman. Is she nice? Pretty? Easy?”
“Um…” She started laughing as he gave her a helpless look. “I know I’ve been asking you for a lot of childcare lately.”
“Oh, shut up. I love your kids and they love me. But we’re putting in a dock on Saturday…”
“Really? You’re doing that?”
“Okay, I’m watching Jake put in a dock on Saturday.”
Ryan winced. “Please don’t tell me that I’m interfering with your plans to bone your fiancé after watching him be strong all day.”
“Then don’t ask me to babysit on a Saturday night. Or any other night.” She laughed at the pained look on his face. “No, it’s fine. He’ll be zonked anyway. It’s a massive dock. But I’ll come to your place, okay?”
Ryan’s heart thumped at the promise of this plan actually working out.
“So a date, huh?”
“No comment.”
“You’re really not going to tell me who it is?”
“Nope.”
“Okay.” Just like that. He had the most amazing friends. He’d forgotten that in the haze of grief. It was time he started appreciating them more.
“Hypothetically… would that be weird?”
“You dating someone? I think you’re the only one who can answer that.”
“It feels strange to say it out loud.”
“Bad kind of strange?”
He thought about that for a few seconds, searching inside himself. “Nope. Good.” Really good. For all his early concerns, Holly had bent over backwards to protect his privacy and be together on his terms. They weren’t great terms, he knew that, and there weren’t enough words to properly express how much he appreciated her. And she’s leaving. Maybe that was why he was doing this—no risks. Other than your heart. But that was so damaged, what was another ding?
— —
Holly greeted him at the door of her trailer on the set—at his request, because picking her up at the cottage and then driving past Dani and the kids felt a bit weird—and he almost staggered backward at the sight of her.
“Wow,” he said slowly, raking his eyes over her. She was wearing a little black dress that ended at mid-thigh, and tall, strappy sandals. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her dressed up, but it was the first time she’d dressed up for him, and it took his breath away how drop-dead sexy she was.
From the flash of diamonds at her ears to the perfume she’d put on—heady, rich, probably laden with unicorn pheromones—she was a living, breathing fantasy woman. His fantasy. He leaned and kissed her gently, deepening the kiss when he realized she wasn’t wearing any lipstick.
“Nice touch with the bare lips,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb at the corner of her mouth when they broke apart.
She winked at him. “I have big plans for more of that all night, lipstick would have been silly.”
“Smart girl.”
He helped her into his truck, glad he’d driven down to Wiarton on Thursday to get it detailed. The carseat and booster in the back still knocked his cool factor down a few pegs, but luckily Holly didn’t seem to care about that. “I made reservations at a steakhouse Olivia recommended, but there are other options. What do you feel like?”
She slid her hand over his, a warm press of bare flesh. “Totally up to you.”
Jesus. He had to bite back a suggestion of burgers right there at her trailer.
But that would be a waste of what might be their only opportunity to do this right. “You know what I want?”
She shook her head, smiling slightly. “What?”
“A giant steak. With mashed potatoes.”
“Then let’s go get that.”
He laughed as she winked again, the tip of her tongue poking out between her teeth, and he turned left at the highway, leaving Pine Harbour behind. She kept touching him, stroking her hand up and down his arm as they drove north to Tobermory. Pine Harbour didn’t have any restaurants fancy enough for a first date, but even if it did, he still wanted privacy. When she left, he didn’t need his entire town knowing his heart was broken.
Olivia had suggested a new fancy-pants grill pub, close to the marina, and the parking lot was nearly full. He squeezed his truck into the back corner, then hurried around to Holly’s side and opened her door.
“Thank you,” she breat
hed, her eyes glittering. “I forgot to tell you that you look amazing tonight, too. I think I got distracted because you kissed me like crazy.”
He did it again, then glanced down at himself. Light blue dress shirt that he’d bought new for tonight, his best jeans, and combat boots because they were the only black shoes in his wardrobe. He wasn’t sure her praise was substantiated by the evidence, but he’d take it.
Offering her his arm, he led the way to the restaurant. A crowd of people blocked the entrance, but he steered her around them, finding the hostess. He gave his name and she promised their table would be ready in a minute.
“Guess I’m not fancy enough to justify actually saving a table,” he said, smiling down at Holly as he backed up against the wall, protecting her from the crush of people coming and going. “I can’t get over how busy this place is.”
She played with the front of his shirt, stroking her fingertips through the gap between the buttons to the light t-shirt underneath. “This is what it’s like most nights when I go out in L.A. Except there’s also paparazzi outside and dinner starts two hours later.”
He couldn’t wrap his head around that. He thought seven was already plenty late enough—he was starving.
“I like this. That wasn’t a comparison.”
“I know.” Someone bumped into him and he braced his hand on the wall beside her, closing their little world in even smaller. “Listen—“
“Table for Ryan Howard,” the hostess called out, and he turned in acknowledgement.
Holly squeezed his hand and followed as they made their way to a table along the wall. He held the chair for her, then took his seat on the banquette across from her. He sat looking out the restaurant, but he only had eyes for the woman across from him. Which is why he didn’t see Faith Davidson until she was standing next to his table, an older woman waiting for her a few feet away. “Ryan!”
“Hey, Faith!” He did an awkward half-attempt to get up, but she waved him down. “Nice to see you again.”
“Same. I won’t interrupt, I just wanted to say hi. You were missed at the meeting on Thursday.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Been busy. I’ll be back. Scout’s honour.”
“Really? Because I’m not above tracking you down like a creepy stalker.”
“I know. I’ll come next month. Promise.” He slid his gaze from Faith to Holly, unsure if he should introduce her, and if so, how. He went with a leading intro, hoping she’d take care of it for him. “Faith, this is…”
“Hope.” She gave Faith a dazzling smile. “I’m a friend of Ryan’s.”
“Faith. I’m his stalker.”
Ryan choked on the sip of water he’d just taken.
Faith groaned and wrinkled her nose. “Sorry. That sounded funnier in my head. We know each other through a parenting thing.”
He took Holly’s hand. “Faith leads a bereaved spouse support group. But she’s not kidding about the stalking thing.”
Holly laughed. “Gotcha.”
“Have we met? You look really familiar.” Faith turned her attention to Ryan’s date.
“I get that a lot,” Holly said with a smile.
Faith’s eyes got really big and she whipped her head toward Ryan, then back to Holly before lowering her voice. “You’re Hope Creswell.”
“I am.” Holly whispered the answer back with a polite smile, but her eyes were dancing.
“I knew you were in the area filming a movie, but I didn’t realize it was right in Pine Harbour.”
Ryan cleared his throat, and Faith nodded. “Right, I’ll leave you to your dinner. It was nice to meet you.”
“Thank you.” Holly reached out and touched Faith’s forearm. “It’s a bit of a secret dinner, okay?”
“Lips are sealed.” She grinned widely. “It was so awesome to meet you. Seriously. Major fangirl moment here. Oh crap, I almost kept that inside.”
“Bye, Faith,” Ryan said drily, this time waiting to take a sip of water until they were alone again.
Holly looked at him for a long moment. “I like her.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I do, too. I’m glad she lives in Tobermory, though. She’s a little intense for Pine Harbour.”
“Do you know her well?”
“Not really. Just through the support group.” He shot Holly an alarmed look. “We’ve never—”
“Oh! No, that wasn’t what I was asking.” She pressed her lips together. “Although thank you for saying that, because I can get just as jealous as the next girl. I was wondering more about if she’s likely to tell anyone about seeing us together.”
He sighed. “Ah. No, probably not, she seems pretty considerate. I think she’ll keep the secret of how much I like you.”
“You like me?” Her eyes crinkled.
“Yeah. I like you.” So much it hurts.
“Then maybe I’ll let you buy me dinner.” She picked up her menu and flipped it open. “And if you’re really nice, I’ll let you feel me up on the way home.”
“Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you.” Under the table, her foot hooked around his ankle, and behind his zipper, his dick swelled a bit. He’d let her do anything she wanted to him.
When the waiter arrived, Ryan ordered a striploin with mashed potatoes and green beans, and Holly nodded. “Same for me. Make mine just an eight ounce steak, please.”
“Do you want wine or beer?” the waiter asked.
“Just water for me,” Ryan said, shaking his head, and Holly asked for the same. He wanted to be fully sober for the entire night, and he got the feeling she shared the desire not to miss anything.
While they waited for their food to arrive, they talked about everything except the fact that she was leaving. He told her about the summer camp he’d signed the kids up for, as if she’d still be around then, and she confessed that after her next film, scheduled for shooting in the early winter, she had no clue what her next career move was.
“My agent keeps asking if he can send me scripts. I’ve been telling him I don’t want other stories in my head while I’m working, but the truth is, I’m terrified that I’m not going to like any of the projects available to me.”
“Has this ever happened to you before?”
She shook her head, and the lost look on her face made him want to pull her around the table and into his lap. He settled for squeezing her fingers.
“Can I confess something terrible to you?”
Her eyes twinkled. “Of course.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of your movies.”
She laughed, a rising tinkle of wind chimes. “Yeah?”
“I mean, I’d have to Google you to be sure, and you know my stance on that. Not going to happen. But…yeah. I don’t watch a ton of movies, and I don’t remember your face, not like that.”
“I like that, actually. I’m just Holly to you.”
He tugged her fingers across the table a bit more so he could stroke her entire hand. “Never just anything to me.”
“I like that even more.”
He took a deep breath. “So…that’s why I’m not sure what to say about the script thing. Trust your gut, I guess.”
“You think that’s a good idea?” She gave him a sideways, curious look.
He held her gaze as he nodded. “Always.”
When their food arrived, they both dug in, and Olivia’s recommendation had been bang on, because it was amazing. They slowed down after the first few groan-inspiring bites, but they both cleared their plates.
After Ryan paid and they made their way out the door, Holly rubbed her tummy and giggled. “I ate too much. I’m totally going to get yelled at on Monday for being bloated.”
“Send them my way, I’ll pound them for you. You’re beautiful.” He wrapped his arm around her waist, not caring if anyone saw them.
She stroked his middle as they swayed slowly to his truck. It was almost dark, but the parking lot was surrounded by trees, making it seem like the middle of the
night. “This was really wonderful.”
Sliding his hand up the outside of her body, he tried to tamp down a tremor of anxiety threatening in his gut. It had been wonderful. And they still had hours. She could come over after Dani left. Maybe they could sleep together in Maya’s room.
Maybe not, but the thought pushed the anxiety away. He wasn’t ready to be done with her. And the countdown to the end of the movie was marching in lock-step with his ever-increasing attachment to this woman. The thought that they’d never share a full night together bothered him for reasons he couldn’t really put his finger on.
He wove his fingers into her hair, tipping her face up to his for a quick kiss, then a longer, deeper one as they stopped in front of the truck. By the time they got around to the passenger side so he could open Holly’s door, he had a thick erection straining at his fly and a warm, willing woman in his arms.
It was going to be a long-ass drive back to Pine Harbour.
He pressed Holly against her door and leaned into her, hips to hips, chest to chest, lips to lips. She rocked against him, finding his cock with the heat between her legs—her dress and his jeans were no match for their need for each other.
Drunk on lust, he speared his tongue into her mouth as he groped her, each touch feeling rougher and more desperate than the last. Under his hands, she writhed with the same urgency.
Panting, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, trying to climb his body. He didn’t have a problem with that plan at all. For all the people traffic inside the restaurant, the parking lot was quiet, and they were hidden behind his truck.
“Do you have protection?”
Oh, shit. He did. Could they? He might have a problem with that plan. Except his dick didn’t. And his heart didn’t. Two votes to one, head. You lose. “This is crazy.”
“We’ll be quiet.” She grinned and tugged his shirt out of his waistband.
They were good at that, at least—swallowing each other’s moans to keep the secret. He lifted her onto the running board and reached up her skirt, finding a skimpy thong. She was already soaked for him, and she shivered as he pulled the underwear down her leg, bracing her hands on his shoulders as he shoved it in his pocket. Looking around, he confirmed they were completely alone, and it was dark enough in the shadows that he couldn’t see her that well, let alone be spotted by anyone else. They worked by touch, him undoing his belt, her teasing fingertips finding his lips, then his neck, her mouth soon following the same path.
