by Pike, Leslie
“He’s good. No worries Carl. It’s probably the best frame of mind to be havin’ when you’re goin’ into surgery.”
“Will I get to see him? I mean before they take him in.”
We get to the elevators and Finn presses the up button.
“Oh yeah. He’s hopin’ for it.”
The door slides open and we get inside. There are no other riders. Finn presses number three.
“Bliss darlin’, do you remember the last time we were goin’ to take an elevator ride together?”
He says this with a naughty grin and a raised eyebrow. Then he laughs a little. It’s not a come on at all, but it’s Finn’s twisted sense of humor bringing it up now. He knows me so well, and enjoys the fact that he can make me uncomfortable. And of course I remember the day. But I’m not about to discuss the event with him.
It was in Pacific Grove and I had just propositioned him, trying to get over what I thought was Steven’s betrayal. And Finn had just showed me his Jacob’s Ladder as we sat at a table having a drink at Highlands Inn in Carmel. Under the tablecloth he whipped out his dick and showed me his new piercings. Just to tease me. But instead of the intended response it shocked me back to my good sense. We never made it past the elevator. I chickened out, leaving him standing there with a hard on.
“No, I don’t remember. When was that?” I say with a straight face.
“Ah huh.” He smiles.
He’s not buying my denial. And he thinks the whole thing’s funny. Happily I’m saved by the bell that’s telling us we’ve arrived on the third floor. The noises in the hall are the familiar hospital pings, and alarms and squeaky wheels on carts. Somewhere a nurse is calling a patient’s name over and over. I’m not really comfortable in a hospital, but only because it reminds me of Mary’s last days. Despite the doctors and nurses valiant efforts they couldn’t save her from her fate. As Finn and I walk toward Carl’s room I’d bet we’re both thinking of the same thing. Finn raps on the doorway of room 312.
“You decent, Da?”
“No, but I’m dressed,” Carl responds.
When we walk in, I’d swear there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the man. He looks good. Even in a hospital gown with a heart monitor in the pocket, and an IV drip attached to his arm, he looks like he always does.
“Hello, pretty,” he says.
I come to his side for a kiss. “Morning, Carl. You feeling ready for your little procedure?”
“Oh yeah,” he says waving off the worry. “I don’t get excited about these kinds of things.”
“Good. It’ll be fine.”
“It’s just a wee tune-up,” says Finn unconvincingly.
For an actor, he’s not selling his calmness very well. But I can’t blame him because I’m nervous too. I spot Carl’s bed tray pushed to one side.
“Would you like some water?”
“No. He can’t have anything before the surgery,” says Finn.
Carl points to his son. “He’s my guardian now you know. He was here at six this morning.”
“Oh, I thought you got here when I did,” I say.
“No. I was just getting my phone. I left it in the car.”
“Well I’m glad you have such a good guy to watch over you, Carl. You realize you’re going to get extra attention because you’ve got a film star for a son? In this case that will work for you.”
Carl gets animated. He lifts his hands in the air for emphasis. “Oh you should have seen the nurses. They were falling all over themselves to have an excuse to come in here. I wanted to tell them it’s just my Finn, the ten-year-old boy climbing the green hills of Ireland. Mary would have gotten such a kick out of this.”
Finn smiles at his father’s words. It makes me get a little emotional, but I quickly stifle that. There’ll be no tears in front of Carl today. Not if I have to bite my lip to stop them. A plump short nurse walks into the room. I see a gurney and an assistant waiting in the doorway.
“Okay, Mr. Kennedy. We’re ready to take you to surgery.”
This is possibly the only woman I’ve seen who doesn’t look and smile at Finn. I can tell she doesn’t give two flying flips who he is or what he’s famous for. She’s focused on her patient. I like her already.
“You know, nurse, has anyone ever told you you’d make a good subject to paint? I’m an artist you know,” Carl says giving her a once-over.
She works at his side, detaching what she must and making sure he’s ready for transport. “No. Nobody’s ever said that. But I’d be happy to pose for you, just no nudes. I’m not into that. Oh my gosh, can you imagine?”
Then she laughs and laughs and gets us laughing too. With a nod of her head she calls the transport in the room. The young male assistant gets on one side of the bed and she on the other. They slide Carl off his bed and onto the gurney in one swift easy motion, holding the edges of the sheet. It looks like they’ve done this a thousand times before.
Finn walks to his father’s side before they wheel him off. He tries to sound encouraging but I hear the break in his voice. “Okay Da, it’s all goin’ to go well for you. I know it will.” Then he leans down and kisses his father on the cheek.
Carl takes his hand and looks him in the eyes. “Whatever happens, son, is destiny. I’m not afraid. But don’t worry, I’m not done here yet.”
Then he looks at me and points to Finn. “Take care of this one. Buy him a cookie or something to occupy his mind. That’s what his mother used to do.”
And as they wheel Carl away, Finn and he lose their grip. I can hear the one squeaky wheel roll down the hallway as they head for the elevators. I turn to Finn. We don’t even try to bullshit each other.
“He’ll be okay,” I say.
Finn doesn’t respond. We both know there are no certainties.
I decide to visit my friend as soon as Carl’s off to surgery. Nicki’s room is on the second floor. So I make my way to the elevator and join the other two people already riding their way down. They’re one of those silent pairs who don’t feel the need to chat or say good morning to me. I respect their silence with a nod. I’m just about to say, “Have a good day,” as I exit, but think twice about doing that. Maybe they’re having the worst day of their lives. You never know what people are going through when you pass them in a hospital.
I walk down the long hall, looking for room 240. The floor polisher coming my way gets a wide berth. The room numbers are getting closer, 236, 238, here it is. I peek in to see Jack standing at the end of the bed talking with a doctor. He sees me but doesn’t break his focus on what the doctor’s saying. So I wait in the hallway.
Taking out my iPad, I open to my latest project. This is just the note making stage of my screenplay, but that in itself takes every spare minute I can squeeze out of my days. So my fingers fly and I hardly notice how long it takes before I see the doctor walk out of Nicki’s room with Jack following close behind.
“Hi.” He crosses to where I stand and gives me a peck. He looks beat.
“How is she?”
“All right I guess.” He runs a hand through his wild mane of hair. It’s sticking straight up as usual. His eyes look tired. Poor guy.
“Let me get us some coffee. What do you take?” I offer.
“Oh, no. I’ll get some when I go to the cafeteria,” he protests.
His words say one thing but his eyes say another.
“No. I’m going to get us both a cup. I want a Danish too. I saw a little coffee and baked goods sign downstairs in the entry.”
He puts a hand on my arm. “Thanks, Bliss. Yes, I’ll take both. Two Splendas, no crème.”
I pass over the suitcase. “Here. I had Anne pack a few things you both might need. I wasn’t sure how long you’d be here, but I know Nicki would at least want her own brush and pillow, and well, anyway it’s all in there.”
He smiles in gratitude. “Thanks, honey. Very thoughtful.”
“Hey, she’s my girl too you know.”
He gives
me another kiss on the cheek. And so I make my way downstairs. I buy him a big cheese Danish and a large cup of coffee. I grab the same for me and carry them back up to the second floor. Jack’s standing there waiting for me in the doorway.
“Let me get that,” he says grabbing the box.
I take my cup and follow him into the room.
“There she is,” I say coming to Nicki’s side.
I give her a soft kiss on the cheek, careful not to rock the bed. “How you doing, sweetie?”
She lets go a deep sigh. “I’m okay. But poor Jack. He’s practically apoplectic.”
I look over at him and he doesn’t deny his nerves. “I can’t help it,” he says taking a big bite of his Danish.
“So, what’s the verdict? How long are you in here for?” I say.
“For the duration. I’m not going home till the fat lady sings.”
She starts singing, which makes us laugh a little. I’m surprised, but I don’t want to show it.
“Well, your doctor must think it’s the right way to go.”
“Did you see her? Doctor Nakamura?”
“Yeah, she’s a tiny thing.”
“Tiny but bossy. She said I didn’t have a choice. After she examined me last night and they did a few tests, going home wasn’t an option.”
“What exactly is the problem? Blood pressure?”
“That’s about it. I’ve got a few markers for Preeclampsia. But it’s not certain. But she wants to hold off on delivery as long as possible. It’s best for the baby.”
Jack breaks in on our conversation. “They’re monitoring the protein in her urine and watching her vision and weight. I guess there’s a tipping point when it’s time.”
I take Nicki’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here, really I am. Now we can breathe a little easier knowing someone’s watching over you and the baby around the clock. Even though we’re all dying to meet the boy, it’s best to listen to your obstetrician.”
I’m smiling and keeping my voice light, but inside my stomach’s churning and my nerves are on edge. Jack looks like I feel. The couch against the wall has a wadded up sheet and blanket in the corner.
“Did you sleep here, Jack?”
“Oh yeah. It wasn’t that bad. I would have gone crazy if I wasn’t here with her.”
“I wanted him with me, even though I knew it would be tough on him.”
Jack poses like a muscle man in a Mr. Universe contest. “I’m strong like bull,” he jokes.
“Hey, how’s Carl? Did he have his surgery?” Nicki asks.
“He’s in there now. Well, he was when I left Finn upstairs. I better go see if he’s heard anything yet. After I see how Carl’s doing, I’ll be back.”
“You better ask where we are when you do. We’re going to be moving rooms,” says Jack.
“Yeah, my husband’s procured the best birthing suite of course. He says it looks like a suite at the Grand Wailea.”
“It does. It’s on this floor, but I’m not sure where,” Jack says.
“I’ll find it.”
I kiss Nicki on the cheek and squeeze her hands. “Rest. Soon you’re going to be holding your little one, and you won’t get another chance to rest for a long time. Love you, Nicki.”
“Love you back.”
As I’m walking down the hall toward the elevators, I decide to call Finn. He answers on the second ring.
“Hi.”
“Hi. Heard anything yet?”
“Not yet. I don’t think they’ll be out for another hour or so.” He sounds a little afraid.
“Want to meet me in the cafeteria?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m leaving now.”
Three floors down, I weave my way past the chapel and down two halls. There it is. I check my watch because there are hardly any people here, except Finn who stands staring at the menu on the wall.
“We’re too early for lunch, and too late for breakfast,” I say.
He turns to find me checking my messages.
“Sorry, I just need to see if Steven called.”
“There’s nothin’ here, except a coffee machine and a few bits in the cases.”
We scan the yogurt cups and the prepackaged salads. But by the way neither of us are choosing anything, I don’t think we’re really that hungry.
“I’ll just have a cookie,” Finn says.
Then he looks at me and we both start laughing. I guess Mary was on to something.
“Good thinking,” I say, grabbing one too. “I’ve had a Danish and a cookie so far today. Stress eating much?”
I grab a carton of milk and get one for Finn too. When we bring our choices up to the cashier he barely looks at us, which works just fine. Finn leads the way to a corner booth and sits with his back to the other few diners. He’s learned quickly not to draw attention to himself. He would have every person here asking for an autograph. And this isn’t the time or place.
“How’s Nicki doin’?” he asks, breaking his cookie into small pieces. I remember his mother telling me he’s done that since he was a little boy.
“She’s going to be here till she delivers.”
“Why?”
“She’s got this high blood pressure condition and it can be dangerous for the baby and for her. I made the mistake of Googling it last night. Now I know too much.”
“When’s she due?”
“The beginning of April.”
“I’ll call Jack after my dad gets out of surgery. Maybe I can do somethin’ for him. I don’t really know what, but at least a cigar.”
“Good idea. I’m afraid he’s going to miss the Oscars next week.”
Really?”
“Knowing Jack, he won’t give a damn,” I say.
“Not even a wee bit?”
“Not even a bit of the wee.” I recite our old saying with an Irish accent, just as I used to when I was trying to make him laugh.
He smiles; I think he’s glad that I remember. We eat our cookies and drink our milk like third graders at recess. Finn looks up at me with a serious expression.
“I guess this is where life gets real. It’s funny to think we’re even old enough to be facin’ life-and-death issues. Weren’t we just twenty years old?”
“A minute or two ago. Back then our biggest problem was getting your motorcycle started. How did it pass so quickly?”
“I don’t know. I’ve got to say though I like bein’ this age. I’ve settled down just enough for things to feel right. It’s all Esme’s doin’. I know from past experience not to take that for granted.”
I raise my eyebrow in remembrance of what he and I went through.
“To that point, Bliss, did I ever really apologize for what I put you through when we were together?”
This surprises me. But I’m sure what he’s going through with Carl has stirred up the past and made him mindful of making things right with the people he loves.
“I’m sure you must have. It’s all in the ether now, Finn. We’re good.”
“No, I want you to know I’m deeply sorry for the disrespectful way I treated you. You’re one of the finest women I know, and no man should give you one day of grief. I’m ashamed it was me who did.” His eyes look so sincere.
I reach across the table and take his hand. “I appreciate that. But look where we landed? You with the love of your life and me with mine. How could it have ended better?”
“Maybe we had to go through our bad times to get to this place,” he says philosophically.
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” I say laughing.
“Let’s go back to the room. I don’t want to miss the surgeon. And besides, my cookie’s all gone.” He smiles.
So we return to the family waiting room and sit counting the minutes till the doctor appears. It’s forty minutes till he does, but he’s got a smile on his face.
“Everything went well.”
Both Finn and I breathe a sigh of extreme relief.
“His blockage was significant, but we were
able to place a stent without any unseen issues. We switched out his pacemaker for a defibrillator and that was done successfully. He should have about eight years on that battery. But he’ll need to come in to the office every three months for a reading.”
“What happens when the battery dies down?” Finn asks.
“We’ll know ahead of time, and then we’ll just switch it out. All the leads are in place, so it’s a relatively minor surgery.”
“Are there any instructions for when he goes home?” I butt in with what’s on my mind.
“The nurse will have them for you when he checks out tomorrow. There’re a few new meds.”
He pats Finn on the arm and walks away, saying as he leaves, “He’ll be back in his room in an hour or so. You can see him then.”
And so in a few short sentences we learn Carl has a future. Finn and I turn toward each other and come in for a hug, grateful for the blessed outcome.
Chapter Twenty-Four
BB
I say goodbye to my makeup and hair team, and Becca clasps the final piece of jewelry on my wrist.
“Okay, that’s it. You’re good to go, BB.”
“Then get the hell out of here! I want to be alone with Paul.”
I don’t need to ask twice. She grabs her purse and tote and waves as she leaves.
“I’ll be watching!” she says.
Taking one last look in the mirror, I know I can’t do any better than this. I walk out of the bedroom and when Paul looks at me his mouth drops. That’s a response you can’t cook up.
“You like?”
“I’ve never seen you look as beautiful or sexy. Other than when you’re naked, that is. Do the twirl.”
I walk in front of where he stands and do a 360. I have to take small steps because of how narrow the dress is. But it’s worth it. There’s nothing like feeling you look beautiful. Even if it took a team of stylists to make it happen.
“That dress is lethal.”
“So is that tux. But I prefer you naked too. I’m picturing all this on the floor tonight,” I say running my hands in front of his body.
He smiles his agreement.
“Can you see my nipples or pussy print through this fabric?” I ask.
