by Jillian Neal
“Anything.” He felt the exhaustion of his double release take hold. He’d forgotten how well he always slept after that happened.
“I know we’re not ready to say it yet…” she hesitated, and he willed his body not to recoil, “but I’m a Receiver. I hope this doesn’t freak you out, but I feel it when we’re together. It feels incredible.” Her energy felt tentative and bordered on panic.
He tried to soothe her, but he had very little left to offer her.
“So, I guess I was just wondering if it would be all right if, when I’m ready to say it, I tell you, even if you’re not ready yet.”
Dan felt like he was being rent in two. His heart ached and stuttered.
“I do feel it, Fi. I want to say it; I just don’t think I can yet,” he choked, unable to go on.
“I know,” she soothed instantly. He felt her cast him. He felt the intoxicating, healing warmth flow through his veins. “Dan, I told you, I know that the last person you said that to was Amelia, and I know you still love her. I want you to always love her, always!” she insisted fervently, as he tried to swallow back the rock-like enclosure around his throat.
“But I’ve never said that to anyone. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, so I guess I just wanted to tell you that.”
He felt fear seize her; fear that he would reject her, fear that he didn’t believe that she understood his feelings for Amelia, fear that she was going to give him her all and that he was going to break her heart.
“How about this…” Dan was still grappling with emotion that had him in a chokehold. “When I was a teenager,” he was embarrassed to share this story, but he wanted her to know him. She listened intently, “my dad would take Kara and me to school, and my mom would take Meredith and Lindley. Anyway, we would drop Kara off at school and then Dad and I would drive to Langley before he went to the Senate. So, we would talk all the way there.”
“When I would get out of the car, Dad would tell me that he loved me, but I didn’t want to say that back right there. Amelia, Will, and Garrett would always wait on me at the drop- off. I was a prick; I know.” He took solace in her giggle.
“Anyway, when Dad figured out that I didn’t want to say it, he came up with a plan. Dad would say ‘the Redskins might make the playoffs this year’, and then I would say ‘never happen’.” He laughed at his own story. He hadn’t thought about that in years, and he had no idea why he wanted her to know that.
Fionna smiled against him and kissed his chest. His heart beat disjointedly for a moment.
“Ok,” she gazed up at him in the moonlit room and the light of their passionate love. “But I kind of really want to say the words, so how about if when I’m ready, I say it, and then whenever you’re ready, and you don’t have to be ready when I’m ready, maybe you could just say ‘me, too’,” she offered hopefully.
After feeling every muscle in his body clench in terror, desperation, and in all-consuming emotion for the woman he held in his arms, he nodded.
“Fi,” he whispered as she gazed at him, “me, too.”
66
Coffee and Conversation
~Logan Haydenshire~
A smile formed on his lips, but Logan kept his eyes closed. He reveled in Adeline curled up tenderly beside him, sleeping peacefully.
He began to wonder what the chances were that Lucas had the necessary equipment to make her some coffee in his kitchen, without the aid of anyone in uniform. Logan shuddered at the thought of ordering someone to make them coffee.
He didn’t want to awaken Adeline. The day before had thoroughly worn her out, and she looked so tiny and fragile, lying in his long, muscular arms.
He wanted her to sleep. He wanted her mind and her body to rest. The next few weeks weren’t going to be easy. The trial was coming up, and Lucas would be visiting regularly.
Logan slid out from under her as gently as he was able. He covered her quickly, and sealed heat into the fibers of the blankets as he nestled them around her.
She’d pulled on one of his t-shirts, but wasn’t wearing anything else. The thought had Logan’s groin on high alert as he moved silently to the bathroom.
When he returned, she was still sleeping soundly. He pulled on a pair of jeans and eased the door open and closed it silently as he exited.
He was extremely pleased that he made it all the way to the kitchen without running into a maid, butler, or Lucas.
Logan began poking around. There was a canister of coffee by the extremely elaborate coffee maker, but he needed to find the filters and spoons.
After pausing a moment to listen, he didn’t hear anyone else in the apartment, so he began opening drawers. He located the filters in the drawer under the coffeemaker, and then found the silverware a few drawers down.
As he studied the appliance, Logan tried to figure out how to make a simple cup of coffee in the dual spout contraption. He decided to just cast it and make it work according to his own design.
“Logan,” he heard his name and spun around to find Lucas staring him down. He was wearing a pair of silk pajamas, and slippers, the kind that Logan and his brothers would instantly beat a guy up for wearing. He tried hard not to chuckle at the thought.
“Oh, sorry; I was just trying to make Ad some coffee,” he held up the spoon and gestured to the coffeemaker.
Lucas nodded and gave Logan a forced smile.
“I can get Marta to do that for her.”
“Right,” Logan nodded. “I just usually make her coffee for her, so I thought I would.” He studied Adeline’s father. The resemblance still overwhelmed him.
“Where is Adeline?” there was more than a hint of inquisition in his tone.
“She’s still sleeping. Yesterday was pretty tough for her.”
“I’m sure,” Lucas agreed. “Do her friends call her Ad or just you?”
“Oh, no, I mean, just I do that. No one else does.”
“Did you sleep all right?” Lucas’s next question held a note of disdain.
Logan tried not to smirk as he assumed he knew the reason for the discomfort. “Yes, great. Thank you again for letting us stay here.”
Lucas smiled. “Of course; she’s my daughter. I hope you’ll visit often and stay here whenever you’re in the country.”
Uncomfortable silence filled the room, and Logan tried to think of what to say.
“So, would it be all right if I…?” he gestured back to the coffeemaker.
“Oh, certainly.”
With a smile, Logan moved back to the machine and began to discern how it worked exactly.
“She feels very safe with you, Logan.” Lucas seemed intrigued with Logan’s work. While he considered, he started to speak but then Lucas added, “Her energy soothes as soon as you enter the room. She seems delighted when you’re near her, but she’s afraid when you aren’t.”
“Well,” Logan forced the basket for the coffee filter out of the maker by sheer strength. “I don’t want her to be afraid when I’m not there, but shouldn’t her energy soothe when I’m near her? I’m her husband.”
As he made his statement, Logan considered how Lucas was able to read Adeline so well. To his knowledge, her father had never even come in contact with her skin.
He thought of his own parents with a sting of homesickness. Because they were both Gifted, Logan and all of his siblings held a mix of both of their energies, but Candy wasn’t Gifted.
Gifted DNA would always be dominant, especially from a bloodline as strong as the Nguyen’s; therefore, Adeline’s Gifted energies and Lucas’s would be an almost perfect match. That was why Logan felt such a strong reading when he’d shaken Ethan’s hand at his father’s inaugural ball.
As Logan began brewing a pot of coffee, he turned to the sink to rinse off the spoon he’d used.
“You don’t have to do dishes, Logan,” Lucas scoffed.
Logan shrugged as he laid the spoon in the basin.
“Might I ask that you have a cup of coffee with m
e, just until Adeline awakens? I’d really like to know you better as well.”
Having coffee with his father-in-law hadn’t been his plan, but he saw no other options.
“Uh, sure; just let me go check on Ad, make sure she didn’t wake up when I left, and isn’t wondering where I am.”
Lucas nodded as Logan made his exit and headed back up the stairs.
He eased open the door to the bedroom, and scooted inside. Adeline was still sleeping soundly, tucked up in the huge bed and clinging to the pillow Logan had slept on.
With a tender smile, he moved to her. He sealed more heat into the fibers of the coverings. As he brushed a hesitant kiss across her cheek, he added his own soothing energies to hers. The tension and terror of the day before had exhausted her, and he stared at her adoringly as he watched her body try to recuperate.
An idea formed in his mind as his eyes landed on a box of expensive stationary situated neatly on a desk in the corner of the room. He pulled a sheet of the paper and one of the pens from the desk.
* * *
Dear Mrs. Haydenshire,
Lucas asked me to have coffee with him downstairs. Text me when you get up. I’ll bring up your coffee and give you your good morning kiss.
I love you so much,
Logan
* * *
With that, Logan grabbed his cell, stowed it in his pocket, pulled on a t-shirt, and set Adeline’s cell phone on top of the note on the pillow beside her.
When he returned to the kitchen, Logan found it empty. Some form of ridiculous hopefulness tried to emerge in his gut. Perhaps Lucas had changed his mind, and he could return to bed with his wife and be left alone.
He spun and almost ran into a maid, whom he assumed must be Marta.
“Oh, Mr. Haydenshire, sir, Mr. Nguyen asked to have your coffee on the balcony. I’ve arranged everything.”
She gestured through what appeared to be a library, onto a balcony that overlooked the Nguyens’ property. He noted Lucas seated at a wrought-iron table, glancing at a Gifted newspaper. There was a tray on the table that held a silver coffee service. The table was set with several delicate china coffee cups. There were also platters with fruit and pastries.
With a sigh, he headed towards the small balcony.
Apparently, even coffee is an event here.
“Thank you,” he turned back to the maid, and remembered his manners with a smile.
“Certainly, sir,” the woman curtsied. Logan shuddered as he slid out the glass door and offered a forced smile to Lucas.
“I didn’t know I needed to dress up for coffee,” he offered as a slight apology.
“You’re fine. Have a seat. How do you take your coffee?” Lucas turned back into the consummate host. “Shall I pour Adeline a cup?”
“She’s still asleep…sir,” Logan added cream and sugar to the warm, soothing liquid in his cup. He tried to hide his slight disdain that the cup held approximately two sips of coffee.
“Well, I’m so pleased that she’s comfortable,” Lucas commented as he set the paper down on an adjoining table.
Logan smiled and nodded as he drew a sip. He’d had coffee every morning that they’d been in Australia. It was quite good. Adeline loved it, and Logan had purchased a fair amount to take back to the States.
“Although, I get the impression she’s comfortable anywhere that you are,” Lucas stated pointedly.
As this was the second time Lucas had made a remark of this nature, it didn’t take long for Logan’s law enforcement training to kick in with the caffeine.
“I assume that bothers you?”
“No, mate, not at all; I just hope that someday she’ll be comfortable with me.”
“Ad’s been hurt a great deal, mostly at the hands of her mother. She’s very guarded. She doesn’t let people in easily. You’re going to have to give her some time.”
“Yes, I’m sure. I suppose patience was never my virtue.”
Before Logan could respond, Lucas continued.
“Tell me how you two met.”
Logan wondered which story he wanted to tell.
“Well,” he accepted a fruit pastry as Lucas offered it, “we saw each other at sub-freshman orientation at the Academy, just before we both started our Gifted educations.”
Lucas seemed to soak up the story.
“Just ask Rainer. I was sold right then and there, but I took some time and got to know her. She was different, serious, guarded, like I said.”
“A lot of the kids we went to school with weren’t particularly kind. I asked her to eat lunch with Rainer and me and a few of our friends. The next year, when Em started, they became really close. I worked up the courage to ask her out, and I guess the rest is history.”
“Yes, I was informed last night that you and Rainer Lawson have been friends, I believe the words used were, ‘quite literally since birth’.”
Logan chuckled.
“He’s very protective of you as well,” Lucas narrowed his eyes as he studied Logan.
While thinking that Lucas seemed to enjoy pointing out the obvious, Logan shrugged, “He’s my best friend. We’ve been through it all together. He’s lived on our farm since he was fourteen. We shared a room. He’s my partner at Iodex. He’s marrying my sister and, truthfully, he’s the best guy I’ve ever known, so you pick a fight with one of us you’re getting both,” he concluded firmly.
“And Rainer’s father was the American Crown before your father, correct?”
“Yes, sir; Regis Carrington became Crown after Rainer’s dad was killed, but yeah,” he nodded but somehow felt that none of his answers were deemed correct.
“And Rainer was all right with your dating Adeline, even though she didn’t have a name or a crest?”
“Hell yeah,” Logan scoffed. “Of course; if she was who I wanted, then he was on board. He defended her long before we ever even started dating. Like I told you, some of the idiots we went to school with weren’t particularly kind.”
“What can I do, Logan?” Lucas finally leaned across the table to make his plea. “I want to have a relationship with Adeline. I want to make up for not being there when she was growing up, but all she seems to want is you.” Irritation perforated his tone.
Logan nodded and drew a deep breath.
“I really do appreciate all that you’ve already agreed to do for her, with the trial and everything, and so does she. You’re going to have to give her some time, sir. By the time I put her in that limo last night, she’d convinced herself that you were going to reject her instantly, that you would be a male version of her mother.
“She was terrified. She didn’t want to be hurt again, and quite honestly, if we hadn’t needed you so badly to testify at the trial so she can keep doing what she loves, I wouldn’t have ever agreed to put her through even the potential of being rejected again. I just love her too much for that,” Logan choked over the emotion that had come on him so suddenly.
“But this,” Logan lifted the china coffee cup, “this just isn’t her, sir, and I know, had things been different, it might have been. She’s uncomfortable with seven-course meals, and maids, and butlers and, quite honestly, your family makes her nervous.
“She didn’t know how to react, so she clung to me. Because, although I’ve certainly screwed up a few times on her account, she knows that I love her. She knows that I would never reject her and that nothing makes me happier than being with her; it doesn’t even matter what we’re doing.
“So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re going to have to prove yourself. Prove to her that you won’t shut her out when the press has a heyday with the story. Prove to her that you’re going to be there when she needs you.” Logan slumped back in his chair and hoped that he’d helped Lucas understand Adeline, at least a little bit.
Lucas was quiet for several minutes as he considered Logan’s words.
“I need your help then, Logan. I have no intention of rejecting her, ever. I was certainly shocked to
meet her, obviously, but I was also thrilled. I want to be a part of her life, but she’ll never let me in unless you do. That much is painfully obvious.”
Logan stared Lucas down.
“No, she won’t,” he agreed, “and don’t ever think that I don’t know that, and that I don’t think about that whenever I decide to let someone in. I’m certain that being an Ioses Predilect plays into this, but I’ll tell you right now I’m extremely protective of her. She’s been hurt more than anyone ever should be, and I won’t allow it to ever happen again.
“She is everything to me. I love her more than anything in the world, and I’ve worked patiently and diligently to prove that to her over the past six or so years. Convincing her of that wasn’t easy, but it can be done. You’re just going to have to play on her terms. Let her decide to let you in, and if you’re concerned that something might make her back away, then ask me. I want you to have a relationship with her. I will help you, but you can’t throw money at her or buy her things to prove your love. Believe me, I tried the same gig all those years ago.”
With that, Logan’s cell chirped, and he smiled involuntarily as he pulled it from his pocket.
‘I’m up, and I miss you’ was Adeline’s text.
His smile widened. He missed her, too.
“She wants you to come back upstairs,” Lucas stated knowingly as Logan nodded. Her father’s annoyance wasn’t well hidden. “Will she come down and join us?” Lucas stood. “Here, we could take the tray up to your room.”
“Oh, most definitely not,” Logan shook his head. “I worked quite hard to make certain she felt safe in that room last night. She’s wearing one of my t-shirts that she sleeps in at home, and she won’t want you to see her in her pajamas without make-up and the whole deal. She’ll come down here for coffee if she knows you want her to, but you’ll have to give her a few minutes. She probably won’t say much, but she’ll listen.”
Lucas nodded his defeat, and Logan tried to prove that he was helping Lucas, not hindering his efforts.
