by Jillian Neal
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He stood up off of the bed and moved to her.
“I promise not to tell your dad that we did more than eat and sleep,” she giggled as Logan scooped her up and laid her on the bed.
“Good,” he panted. “My dad doesn’t need to know what I’m about to do to you.” His vow made her eyes flash as a seductive grin spread across her face.
“I love you, Ad, and I’m about to untie that bow, baby, and have my way with you.” Her body gave a hungry writhe all for him.
She whispered his name and arched her back as Logan reached and untied the black ribbon. He watched the satin and lace fall away from her and set to make his claim.
73
The Truth May Get You Killed
~Dan Vindico~
The absence of her was physical. Dan’s heart ached. He’d held her hand throughout the ride over, but they were leaving the next day.
This was it. He had to explain everything to her, and he had no idea where that would leave them. The euphoria and the lust had to come to an end.
Was one week enough to make her believe in him and trust him? Did she want to be with him at all? Could he really keep her happy, and could he keep her fate from leading her to a grave, all because of him? That damn tomb seared through his mind. Fionna forced a smile, though forlorn was the only emotion that existed in her energy.
“I still don’t think you should’ve had to apologize to the German Governors, who are clearly all low-life, two-timing thugs, but Emily’s dad is kind of amazing.”
Dan forced a chuckle.
“Yeah,” he agreed as he unlocked the door to their suite. “I guess he is.”
He brushed a kiss across Fionna’s cheek. They still had one night, his mind argued vehemently. Maybe he could put off the conversation. Maybe he could have her one more time before the world intruded again.
“So,” he drawled, “how about I order us some dinner and then after we eat maybe I could see some of the purchases you made today?” Just keep your head in the game. Make this everything she deserves. You don’t have to talk yet.
Fionna chuckled. Her mind seemed to be waging a war of its own.
“Actually, you purchased them, and one of them is one of your Christmas presents. I have to decide how exactly I’m going to punish you for that, Officer Vindico,” she tried so hard to flirt. With a great deal of effort, she modulated her voice to a low and seductive tone.
Dan shut down the swirl of grief and confusion in his mind. He growled and wrapped his arms around her. He devoured her mouth until she was panting for breath.
“All I want for Christmas, honey, is you naked in my bed.”
He let his hands work their way up her skirt and began massaging her backside. He guided her body in rhythmic circles around what should have been a throbbing erection.
“Is that an invitation, Dan?” She couldn’t do it either. They couldn’t just ignore the next day. They had to figure out how or if this was going to work at all. She’d just shut him down cold.
Dan despised Christmas and everything that went with it. It was generally his policy not to be involved with anyone from Thanksgiving until well after Valentine’s Day.
She felt his energy deflate. Dan caught her hands as she fumbled with his belt. She tried to keep up the act, but tears were imminent.
“I think we’d better talk,” he choked.
She turned away from him, and drew a deep breath as he called himself every horrible name he could come up with in that endless moment of selfish frustration.
“I swear, Fionna, I’m not trying to be as big of an ass as I’m doing a hell of a job of being right now. Honestly, I’m not trying to be a jerk; I’m trying to do this right.”
She nodded and gave him her sweet smile.
“I know, Dan. You’re not being a jerk. I shouldn’t have said anything about Christmas or anything at home.” Pain shadowed her beautiful face.
“No, you should have. We can’t put this off anymore. We need to talk. Please, just let me get us some food. Let’s really talk about this because I do want to spend the holidays with you Fionna, and trust me that is not something I’ve ever said. I want to spend every moment with you, but I can’t, and I don’t know how to do this.”
She managed a slight nod. Her chin trembled.
“I don’t care what we eat. I’m gonna take a quick shower, ok?”
She made a valiant effort not to show him how terrified she was. She was about to come unglued, and he knew she thought the shower would make a good cover.
Well, Vindico, you earned this, he told himself. This is what living like a rat for the past decade has gotten you. The most beautiful woman in the world, the one who means more to you than anyone or anything else, is standing in your hotel room fighting tears that she doesn’t want you to see. One week wasn’t enough to do anything at all.
The thought made him sick. He swallowed down bile as it shot violently from his stomach to his throat.
“Hey,” he caught her hand as she grabbed sweat pants and an Angels t-shirt and spun towards the bathroom. “Please, Fionna, don’t do this. Please, I’m begging you. Don’t get in that shower and sob and convince yourself that you should never have gotten involved with me, and make yourself believe that I’m going to do you just like I’ve done all the others, because I’m not. I want to be in this relationship, Fi. As fucking terrified as I am, I want this. I am fully committed to you. We have to talk about what that means for both of us, if that’s what you want, too.”
She clenched her jaw tightly, and shuddered from the effort of halting the emotions that threatened to consume her.
“No,” he demanded, “I won’t let you.” He would fight. He would fight her doubt. He would fight her apprehension and incredulity. He would fight his own reputation. His vehemence shocked her.
Good, because I’m going to make her believe me if it’s the last thing I do.
“You want to take a shower? Fine, you can take one with me. If you want to cry or need to cry, then I will stand there and hold you, and let you cry. I will wipe away every single tear, and I will still be standing there when you’re finished. And I will still be in love with you, Fionna.” His own shock over his ability to use the word was no more than hers.
She couldn’t quite believe what she’d heard with her own ears, any more than she could continue to wage war against her tears. She broke down, and he held her just like he’d promised he would.
He was going to do this. It had just been too damn long. He prayed as she cried; prayed for help, prayed that he’d be able to keep her safe, prayed that she would somehow find him worthy to be loved. He needed her. He couldn’t go on without her.
He needed to stop killing himself slowly by drowning his sorrow in a myriad of women who meant nothing to him at all. He needed to stop self-destructing, and he held the only thing that could save him from himself, sobbing in his arms.
“Shh, baby. It’s ok. I’m right here.”
He wiped away the first of what he knew would be hours of tears. He unbuttoned her blouse and unclasped her bra.
While carefully guiding her with him, he edged the few steps towards his suitcase. He pulled out one of his Iodex t-shirts and swathed her body in it. He unzipped her skirt and slid it down her curves. Dan was unable to recall another time, in the dozens of skirts he’d unzipped, that he’d had no ulterior motive.
He released her only long enough to remove his shirt, and he moved her to the bed. She was still shuddering with her tears.
He laid back and pulled her on to his chest. He cradled her tenderly and let her cry. Her tears cut him like knives. He let her sob. He’d earned every jagged, piercing tear that beaded and burned his skin.
She was terrified, but so was he. She didn’t trust him, and he didn’t trust himself. The road they were trying to navigate would be treacherous, and fraught with every kind of pitfall there could possibly be. He didn’t care.
> He let her cry herself out. He’d earned every tear. He deserved the agony and the suffering that watching her brought on in heavy doses. He wiped away tear after tear, and handed her tissues until the box on the bedside table was empty. He left her only long enough to race to the bathroom for another box.
“I’m sorry,” were the first convulsive words that she managed.
“Shh,” he soothed, “you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I don’t even know what happened,” she shuddered against him.
“Well,” Dan hushed, “I know you’re hungry, baby. We have a whole lot of time to talk about what happened and what we want to happen.”
He wasn’t going anywhere. If he had to stay up with her all night long, then so be it. He wasn’t walking away.
“Shh, shh,” he pulled her back to him. She tried to move away as he reached for the phone. “You stay right here.”
Relief flooded through her as she nodded against him. He quickly ordered sandwiches that he knew she’d liked, from their picnic several nights before on the beach. He informed the attendant that he’d tip well if they didn’t have to wait. Less than five minutes later, there was a knock on their door.
She was a mess, a sobbing, convulsive, swollen, red-eyed, beautiful mess. He caressed her face and soothed her with his body.
“Ok, honey, I’m going to lay you down and walk from here to the door to get our food. Then I’m coming right back, and I’m going to feed you, ok?” he kissed her forehead as she nodded.
She sat up off of him, and attempted to wipe away her tears and her extreme embarrassment. Dan moved quickly. He grabbed several twenties from his wallet, and edged the door open enough to get the tray inside. With his boot, he blocked it from being opened further.
No one else was seeing her like this. Those tears were his, just like the perfect swell of her breasts, and the arch of her back, the curve of her gorgeous backside, her long luscious legs, and the tender, delicate, sweet lips between them. They were all his and no one else’s.
He folded the money and handed it to the pimple-faced teenager that held the tray.
“Hey, thanks, mate,” the kid flipped excitedly through the twenties. “You need anything else just ask for me. I’m Derrick.”
Quite shocked that he was able to chuckle, Dan nodded.
“Will do,” he assured Derrick, who was standing and staring at him and not moving. “Thanks,” Dan added as Derrick continued to stare into the room. “Go away,” he finally ordered.
Derrick looked momentarily shocked.
“Oh, right, sorry,” he sped from the door.
Dan carried the tray into the room and shook his head. Fionna was laughing at the exchange. He positioned the tray carefully on the end of the bed and kissed her head.
“So, Derrick can make you smile and laugh, but I just make you cry.”
Pain etched her swollen face.
“Dan,” she shook her head and stared at the bed.
“I got you a surprise,” he changed tactic quickly. She furrowed her brow.
“Why?”
Dan chuckled at the question.
“I don’t know, because I like to make you smile, and I thought you’d like this, and I want to make you happy.”
She waited as he moved back to his suitcase.
“When I helped Logan carry out their stuff, you know, to keep him from screeching at his father-in-law’s butler for attempting to repack Adeline’s suitcase, I might’ve swiped several of these from the cabinet.”
He pulled two cans of Dr. Pepper from his suitcase, and chilled them. He handed her one. Her mouth fell open and then pulled into a delighted smile.
“I’m pretty sure that’s against the law, Officer Vindico,” she sounded much more like herself.
Dan chuckled as he joined her on the bed.
“It’s a misdemeanor at best. I’m pretty sure I could get off with the whole ‘he offered me several earlier, I thought it was a standing offer’ routine; and I would do absolutely anything for you,” he informed her and then watched as his vow settled on her. “Plus, the soda here sucks.”
“I love you,” she vowed suddenly. All traces of laughter evaporated. It was a test to see if he was going to do what he’d said, and still be there now that the tears were gone.
“Me, too,” he assured her. “Now, how about if you eat, and I talk?”
She took a long sip of the Dr. Pepper he’d given her and took an infinitesimal bite of her sandwich. She stared up at him.
“Will you please just be honest with me, completely honest? Because I know when you hide things or you try to cover something up.” All the pretenses were gone. He’d drawn the final ace.
Dan rubbed his hands over his face, and tried to determine where to begin.
“Completely honest, huh?” he bought just a little more time. She nodded and set the sandwich back onto her plate.
“Ok,” he drew a deep breath. “Fionna, I’m basically the biggest asshole you’ll ever meet. I’m a selfish bastard who can’t really believe that I’m about to say what I’m about to say to you. Being in a relationship with me is extremely dangerous, and it’s the very last thing you should do. I know all of this, and yet I just can’t seem to talk myself out of begging you to be with me, and only me.”
“I’m rude, pompous, egotistical, and self-absorbed. I want you only for myself, but I can never be seen anywhere with you.”
“I can’t take you places, or even out for dinner. I can’t go to the grocery store with you and buy you Karamel Sutra ice cream. I can’t go fill your car up with gas. I can’t take you to see your favorite band play in concert. I can’t threaten pricks who hit on you. I can’t sit in the Angels box and whistle when you run on the field. I can’t take care of you the way I want to, or the way you should be taken care of. I can’t spoil you, but baby, I so wish that I could.”
“I’m going to sit here and tell you that if you want to be in this relationship, that you’re going to have to go out and be seen with your friends and with other guys. And that it’s going to piss me the fuck off, and I’m probably going to be a royal asshole to you, because I’ll be so damn jealous I won’t be able to see straight.”
“And the very worst part of all is that we have to do all of this because, if anyone ever finds out about us, Wretchkinsides will kill you, too.”
He choked and blinked back tears of his own.
“There, that’s the whole truth,” he threw his hands out in defeat. “All I can really offer you is that, if you’ll stick this out with me, when I end him, Fionna, I will skywrite how in love with you I am.”
Dan’s heart refused him the next beat. Air seized in his lungs. It burned as his body begged for more, but he was unable to provide.
He stared at her and willed her to say anything at all. The silence beat against his eardrums and ricocheted in his restless mind.
74
Questions and Answers
“Ok,” she nodded and a grin played on her beautiful lips. He swallowed harshly. He wasn’t certain what she was telling him.
“Ok?” he finally begged.
“Well, you told me everything we couldn’t do, and I’m ok with all of that, but I’d like to know what we can do.”
A riptide of confusion drowned him. He’d been far too focused on everything he couldn’t give her to try and see any glimmer of hope, but she was the light in his darkness yet again.
“Uh, I don’t really know,” he admitted. Her grin turned into her smile, the one she’d been reserving for him.
“Ok, well, can you come over to my house and have pizza with me, if I order it before you get there?”
“Yes, as long as no one sees my bike there or sees me going in or out.”
“I have a garage with a door into my kitchen, and none of my neighbors are Gifted,” she pointed out. “Can I go to your house and maybe stay over?”
“You can come to my house whenever you want. My house is about as hidden as a house
in the middle of D.C. can be. No one knows where I live and, baby, if you’re willing to do this, I don’t plan on ever not spending the night with you somewhere, anywhere.”
His heart sent blood surging through his veins. He felt faint from the heady sensation. It was like being burned, and then drenched in an icy river.
She grinned and crawled back into his lap.
“Will your Iodex guys know about us?”
“Are you kidding me? Baby doll, I may hire a team of people just for the purposes of keeping you safe when I’m not there.”
“Will you be there, if I get scared?” she swallowed down the mounting emotions.
“Yes, always. I’ll stop working all day and all night. I’ll do anything. If you need me or you want me to stay, I’ll be there.”
“Dan, I know this is going to be really hard, but I love you. You’re worth fighting for. We’re worth all of the precautions. And…” she paused and drew a deep breath, “I can feel how scared you are, but I’m not Amelia. I hate that she couldn’t do what I can do, but I can feel them a long way away. I can feel them coming. I can feel them lying. I can tell when I’m in danger. I know when something bad is going to happen. I’m pretty powerful. I can help you take care of me.”
“I know how powerful you are, Fionna, but he’s a monster.” Dan’s gut clenched. He squeezed his eyes shut.
“I know,” she unleashed the full power of her Receiver’s cast. It flooded through him, righting every wrong, healing every wound, restoring him, calming him, and letting him feel the intensity of her love. The unending depths of her power overwhelmed him.
“Can I keep asking you questions?”
Dan didn’t understand how she could be ok with this, or how she could sound excited about the parameters of their relationship.
