by Amber Garza
It’s not the right thing to say. “Since when have you ever been trustworthy?”
“You’re really gonna have to start saying nicer things about me if you want people to believe we’re together.”
Exasperated, I roll my eyes. “Is this your way of buttering me up? Cause it’s not working.”
He bridges the gap between us so quickly I don’t have time to react. His fingers hook into the top of my jeans, and he tugs me forward. Lowering his head, his mouth nears my ear. “Is it working now?” Hot air fans over my skin, making me shiver.
My heart hammers loudly in my ears, and my palms clam up. I swallow hard, his proximity reminding me of our kiss, which was desperate and manic, but also surprisingly tender and nice. Placing my palms on his chest, I shove him backward. “Stop, Josh. I haven’t said yes to your stupid plan yet.”
“Aww. Our first fight. How cute.” He winks. “Something to tell the grandkids about.”
I freeze, reality dawning me. “There’s no way I’ll be able to pretend we’re together. You’ll drive me nuts.”
“Fine.” He throws up his hands as if in surrender. “I’m not gonna beg, Tals.” I cringe at the nickname. “I’ll find a different way to get Ashley back. I don’t need you.” Backing away from me, he tosses me an annoyed look.
Cars are making their way out of the lot. It’s clearing out fast. I notice Hayes car isn’t here anymore. He and Ashley are probably off somewhere together. They’re attached at the hip lately. Josh turns away from me, his shoulders stooped. His words knock around in my mind.
I’ll find a different way to get Ashley back.
Josh doesn’t pursue girls. They go after him. And when they break up, he moves on to the next one. I’ve seen him do it for years. So why is he devising a plan to get Ashley back?
“Josh!” I call after him.
His shoulders stiffen. He peers over his shoulder, his dark eyes piercing mine. I lick my lips. Josh may be a dick, but he’s good-looking. Maybe one of the best looking guys at our school. The first time I saw him, I remember thinking that he looked like a movie star. Every girl I know has had a crush on him at one point or another. Most of them have had their heart broken by him too. That’s what makes this so puzzling. “Yeah?” He asks, his patience clearly wearing thin.
“You really want her back, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he answers. “And I always get what I want.” Without another word, he faces away from me and continues walking.
He’s right. I’ve never known Josh to lose. He gets what he wants. It infuriates me at times. But maybe this time it will work to my advantage.
“Wait,” I holler, but this time he doesn’t even acknowledge me. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I race after him. A few cars get in my way, and I have to wait for them to pass. But the minute the path clears, I run as fast as I can. Which isn’t very fast, but eventually I catch up to him.
“The conversation’s over, Tals,” he says, approaching his car.
I grab his sleeve, holding him in place. “I changed my mind.”
He shakes my arm off. “So did I.”
Desperation blooms in my chest. “What?”
“I decided I didn’t want to deal with your drama. I’ll do this my own way.” Moving away from me, he unlocks his car.
“You’ll never get her back without me,” I say.
He shakes his head. “You’re full of yourself, you know that?”
“I know Ashley,” I remind him. “And I know that your plan will work.”
Slowly, he pivots. “Then why didn’t you say yes when I first suggested it?”
“You caught me off guard. I needed to process it.”
Narrowing his eyes, he studies my face. “Once we start this, there’s no backing out.”
My chest tightens. A group of students whisk past us. My gaze flickers to them momentarily.
“Talia?”
My head snaps up at the insistence in his tone. “Okay.” I nod firmly.
“Okay?” He raises his brows. “You sure?”
I nod again. Then before I can register what’s happening, his mouth is on mine. It’s firm and warm and takes my breath away. When he pulls back, I’m dizzy. Reaching out, I clutch his shirt.
“That’s our way of sealing the deal,” he says, his eyes sparkling. “Handshakes are so boring, you know?” When he leans in close, I steel myself for another kiss. “And I know we’re just pretending, but it wouldn’t kill you to give me something, Tals.” My face flames. Inside I think of a million things to say to defend myself. It’s not that I’m a bad kisser. I wasn’t prepared. How was I to know he was going to kiss me? But I know my words will fall on deaf ears, so I simply let go of his shirt. Smiling, he backs away from me. “Oh, and one more thing. Remember the plan. Don’t end up falling for me, okay?”
“Trust me, that won’t be an issue.” I laugh bitterly as he slips into his car and drives away without so much as a backward glance.
***
Heather calls the minute I get home.
“What did Josh want?” She asks, not even bothering with a ‘hello.’
“Um.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and bite down on my bottom lip. It tastes like lipstick. “He…um…” Glancing around the room, I make sure my younger sister isn’t around. It’s not like my family won’t find out about Josh and me. If we’re really going to go through with this plan, my family will have to think we’re together. My stomach knots. I hate the idea of lying to them. Especially my dad. He tries so hard to connect with the guys I date. The thought of him attempting to get close to Josh when we’re just playing a game is enough to make me feel ill.
“He, um, what?” Heather presses.
Even though I don’t see or hear Anna, I still hurry down the hallway and slip into my bedroom. After closing the door firmly behind me, I rest my back on the wall and blow out a breath. Here goes nothing. I suppose it’s best if I try this out on Heather anyway. It’ll give me practice before I have to broach it with everyone else. “He sort of asked me out.”
“What do you mean sort of?”
Lightly, I bang the back of my head against the wall. “Um…well…” Come on, Talia. “He didn’t sort of ask me out. He asked me out.”
“Like on a date?”
“No. Like he asked me to be his girlfriend.” Man, that sounds so cheesy.
“No way!” Heather screams into the phone so loudly that I have to draw it away from my ear.
“Yes, way,” I respond, my voice wavering a little. Her stunned reaction reminds me of how unbelievable this is. Josh doesn’t do commitment. And this was seriously out of nowhere. We haven’t been seeing each other, and our kiss was months ago. No one’s going to buy it.
“This is seriously epic,” Heather states. “You’re the luckiest girl at our school. First you knock Ashley off her throne, and now you snag the hottest guy at school.”
I freeze. She’s buying this?
“Looks like it,” I say weakly.
“Why aren’t you more excited? I would be over the freakin’ moon.”
My heart dips. I know Heather has a crush on Josh. “I am. I think I’m just surprised.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s Josh Easton. He’s not exactly boyfriend material.” She pauses. “That kiss you gave him must have made a quite an impression.”
“Seems like it.” I shove off the wall, feeling a little less agitated now. My conversation with Heather gives me confidence that this might work after all.
“Wait a minute,” she says suddenly. “You’re not having second thoughts about this because of Hayes, are you?”
And just like that, my confidence dwindles. “Why would I? Hayes is with Ashley.”
“I know that, but that hasn’t stopped you from pining after him.”
One thing I learned while I hung out with Ashley was that when telling a lie, you should use the truth whenever you can. That way it will seem more real, and also so you can remember what you said. “Yeah, I have been
kind of pining for him, I guess. But he doesn’t want me anymore. Josh does.”
“And Josh is a way better catch than Hayes.”
She’s wrong. Josh is a jerk. Hayes is a good guy. But I don’t correct her. I can’t. “I know, right?” It’s the response that’s expected. The one I would give if Josh and I actually were a couple.
“I’m so happy for you, Talia,” she says. “And a little jealous, but that’s okay. You totally deserve it.” There’s an edge to her tone that causes a chill to run up my spine.
That’s the thing about being the new queen bee. No one will speak out against you, but everyone’s always looking for a way to steal your crown.
JOSH
I know something’s up the minute I get home from practice. For starters, Dad is at my house. When I spot his car in the driveway, I almost turn my car around. He’s the last person I want to see. Ever since he started dating Chris’s mom, our relationship has been pretty rocky. I’ve never even been to his new place. Mom keeps trying to talk me into visiting him, but I have no desire to. Not after what he did to our family. What he did to my mom. Every night that I hear Mom crying in her room hardens my heart further toward my dad. At this point, it’s a giant chunk of steel. There’s no way he can penetrate it.
My concern for Mom is what finally convinces me to park and go inside. Knowing she’s in there with him propels my feet forward. Since Dad didn’t protect Mom, now I’m left to do it. And I sure as hell won’t let her down the way he did.
Besides, I’ve always been braver than him. I’m the strong one. He’s a coward. Always has been.
When I step into the house, my chest tightens. It’s not only Dad that’s visiting. Olivia is here too. I glance at the three glasses of iced tea sweating on the coffee table. Mom sits in the recliner facing Dad and Olivia who have taken over the couch. What the hell is going on?
As if in answer to my question, Mom stands, motioning me over. Her hands are shaking, and I can tell she’s fighting to keep her voice steady as she says, “Josh, honey, come on over here. Your dad wants to tell you something.”
Wary, I inch forward. Once I reach Mom she rests a hand on my shoulder. That’s the kind of mom she is. The kind that offers support even when she’s clearly hurting. I don’t need Dad to say anything. When my gaze falls to Olivia’s hand I know why they’re here. Still, I make him say it. If he’s going to come here and make Mom uncomfortable, then he should have to endure some discomfort as well.
I don’t give him anything. I keep my face deadpan, challenging him to speak.
Dad clear his throat, and I feel a small sense of satisfaction that I’ve unnerved him. Not that I’m surprised. I’ve had this power over him since childhood. With Dad, I could get away with anything. Mom consistently sides with me. Well, except for one time. It was when Dad made me clean up Olivia’s shop after I vandalized it. Honestly, I was shocked that Mom went along with it. She hates Olivia as much as I do. But later she told me it was because she was worried that Olivia would press charges. So she was protecting me, that was all. Dad was another story. I was positive the only person he was trying to protect in that scenario was Olivia. He was always trying to protect her. And I hated him for it.
“Josh,” Dad starts, staring at his hands. Olivia places a steadying hand on his arm, and Mom flinches. Anger rises inside of me. “Olivia and I are getting married.”
“Wow. You two didn’t waste any time,” I spit. “Your divorce with Mom just barely went through.”
Dad nods. “I know this is hard for you, Josh, but---”
I snort. “You don’t know shit about me, Dad.”
“Josh,” Mom urges firmly, her hand squeezing my arm.
“This isn’t hard for me,” I continue.
“Good.” Dad’s face lifts. He thinks I’ve given him my blessing. Goes to show how true my statement was. “Because Olivia and I would love for you to be there. We’re going to have the wedding over spring break.”
“That soon?” Mom squeaks. My stomach churns. Reaching out, I place my hand on her back.
Dad throws Mom an apologetic look. Olivia appears pained, although I have no idea why. I notice she hasn’t said anything since I’ve been home. Probably smart. “We wanted Chris to be there. Cal too. Both of them have a lot of stuff going on over the summer, but they’re both coming home for spring break.”
So, this whole thing was orchestrated to make sure Chris and Cal could come. Typical.
“I was hoping you could be my best man, Josh,” Dad says.
“That’ll never happen,” I say firmly. “In fact, I won’t even be at the wedding.”
“But you said…” Dad’s voice trails off, his eyes squinting as if he’s trying to recall the entire conversation. Figure out if he’s missed something. As usual, he has.
“I said it wasn’t hard for me, because it’s not. I don’t care what you do. Marry Olivia, don’t marry Olivia. Makes no difference to me.” I shrug.
Darkness blankets Dad’s face. Olivia’s gaze darts to the floor. She looks like she’s going to cry, but I’m sure it’s an act. She’s never liked me. Inside she’s probably overjoyed that I’m not coming.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Josh.” Dad stands, his gaze flickering to Mom. “Thank you for the tea.”
His formality is nauseating. Mom was his wife for years. The least he could do is offer her warmth. He talks to her like she’s the waitress at a restaurant. Dad grabs Olivia’s hand, and they turn.
“Just think about it, Josh,” Dad says, peering over his shoulder.
“My answer isn’t going to change. Ever,” I say, hoping it registers this time.
Mom throws me a sad look and then trails the happy couple. She hurries to the front door, opening it before they reach it. After they say goodbye and step outside, she closes it lightly behind them.
“In some instances, it’s okay not to be Miss Manners,” I tell her.
“Then I’d be no better than Olivia.” She moves toward me. “I’m a respectable woman. That’s not going to change no matter what choices your dad makes.”
Nodding, I smile. Then I plop down on the recliner, blowing out a breath. Normally after practice I hit the shower, and then I lie on my bed listening to some music or playing a game on my phone. It’s what I require. Some downtime. What I don’t need is to walk into some ambush set up by my dad and his mistress.
Marrying her isn’t going to make me see her any differently than I already do.
“Josh, you know I will always support your decisions,” Mom says, sinking down onto the couch. I notice she sits on one of the cushions Dad and Olivia hadn’t been sitting on. She does it nonchalantly, but I’m sure it’s calculated. Knowing Mom, she’ll be washing those cushions later tonight. “But I do think you should reconsider going to your dad’s wedding.”
I recoil. “That is not the response I was expecting from you. I assumed you would understand.”
“I do understand. I’m not happy about this either.” Mom leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees. Her shoulder-length honey-colored hair falls forward, swishing around her face. I don’t get how Dad could choose Olivia over my mom. Olivia is eccentric, always wearing long flowing skirts and her hair in braids or ponytails. It would be fine if she was an actress in some fairy tale movie, but in real life it looks stupid. Mom’s style is up-to-date. She wears her hair in the latest trend and always looks beautiful. As if it wasn’t already a huge blow that her husband spent their entire marriage pining after another woman, but to know that it’s a woman who is beneath you must make it that much worse. “But he’s your dad. And I feel like if you don’t go to the wedding, you might regret it one day.”
“I’m not gonna regret it, okay? And I’m not going to the wedding!” I shout.
Mom sits up straight, throwing up her hands. “Okay. I’ll back off. I’m sorry. I just want what’s best for you.”
My irritation dwindles. She’s not the one I’m mad at anyway. “I know. I sh
ouldn’t have yelled.”
“Enough about them.” Mom brushes out one of her hands as if she’s sweeping the thoughts out of the room. “Tell me about your day.”
“It was good.”
Mom shakes her head. “That’s what you say every day. C’mon, I just spent the last half hour with two people I can’t stand. Tell me how it was good. Give me something to take my mind off of my ex-husband’s upcoming nuptials.”
I smile, knowing I have the answer. Before now I wasn’t sure I was going to tell Mom about Talia. It’s all fake, so I didn’t see the point. But I know it will cheer her up. Plus, there’s no way to keep a secret in this town. Once word gets around at school, it’s only a matter of time before the grown-ups get wind of it. And if Mom finds out from someone else that I have a girlfriend, she’ll feel betrayed. “I do have some news.”
“Really?” Her eyebrows raise. “Did Coach finally put you at shortstop?”
My face falls. “No. He’s keeping me at second.”
“Oh.” Mom cringes. “I’m sorry.”
Before this season started, I thought for sure Coach would put me at short. I even bragged about it to everyone. Now my news seems stupid, especially since it’s not technically true.
“Well, what does that coach know?” Mom says, dismissively. “You’re the best player on the team. Anyone can see that.” Mom’s always been my biggest fan. “So, what’s your news then?”
I’m not sure I want to tell her now. But I have to. I’ve backed myself into a corner. “I have a new girlfriend.”
Mom’s face grows serious. “Please don’t tell me you’re back together with Ashley.”
This shocks me. I thought Mom liked Ashley. “No, I’m not.”
“Thank god. That girl doesn’t deserve my boy. Besides, if she chose Hayes over you, then she doesn’t have very good taste.” Mom grins proudly. “Any girl would be lucky to go out with my handsome boy.”
“Well, the lucky girl is Talia Smith.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ve met her before. She’s really pretty.”
“Yeah, she is.” Nodding, my mind travels to Talia. To her long, dark hair, piercing eyes, and full lips. When I find myself fantasizing about kissing her again, I shake away the thoughts. This isn’t a real relationship. I have to keep myself focused on the task at hand. Then again, there’s no law saying I can’t have fun in the process.
