Everybody gave it a minute, rolled it around like a wine-tasting class. “Too new.”
“Too soft.”
“Too cuddly.”
“Guys, you’re making her sound like a plush toy.” She jumped up. “That’s it. That’s JPWear. Isn’t that what we want? That’s what it’s all about. Lila Kelly is all that and more. She’s young, sexy, and mysterious. She can sing her ass off.”
“She’s fine as hell,” William of little words added on. His light eyes grew misty, thinking of a pretty face and expensive extensions. Venus rolled her eyes.
“Anyway. She’s first choice, really the only choice. She’s hot right now. She’s going to milk that number one spot for at least another year, straight through the Grammys and the other slew of awards shows. We’ve got to get her now. Hopefully Kani didn’t think of it first; he’s working his way into a women’s line, going after Baby Phat.”
“That line’s got no sex appeal; I’ve seen it,” William chimed in.
“They wouldn’t want to pay for Lila Kelly,” Jake added. “She’s going to be pricey. I already know that. Number one on the Billboard charts for four weeks in a row. Just tack on a million per week.”
“No way.” Venus leaned on her knuckles. “First thing we offer her is a chance to design a couple of pieces. Young girls are a sucker for that. Hell, old girls are a sucker for that. There’s not a female in the country who hasn’t dreamed of designing her own clothes; you can thank Mattel for brainwashing us with Barbie and paper dolls. Then we’ll offer her a small piece of the company.”
“Ah, Venus, I think you’re forgetting … paper dolls were a product of the seventies. She probably wasn’t even born.” William apologized with his eyes for having to bring the bit of truth to her attention. Lila Kelly was young and Venus was not.
“Paper dolls, or computer-aided design, it’s still the most exciting thing for a girl to do, plus she’ll be part owner.
“Oh hell no!” Jake leaned back in his chair. “Stock? I’m not giving away my company.
“Everybody’s doing it, Jake.” Legend’s thick soapbox voice now sounded like music to Venus’s ears. “A small slice of the pie. The risk is far lower than up-front cash and prizes. JPWear offers stock options, just like Microsoft. If the campaign is successful, everybody wins. If it’s not, nobody loses.”
“See, y’all going to mess around and get me kicked outta here. First the lights, then I won’t be able to pay my rent. Then all four of us are going to be looking for gainful employment.” Jake let out a nervous laugh. He was half serious, half joking. But he was in, Venus knew.
“Don’t even think like that. If anything, this is going to get your crown back. This is going to be so hot!” She tapped her pen on the edge of the table.
They wrapped up the day with a delegation of tasks. They needed to get Lila Kelly to tentatively agree so they could start the media attention. They needed the media attention so Lila Kelly would agree. One big circle, which came first, the chicken or the egg. Each and every step depended on the last and the one before.
“SMART and sexy, see I told you,” Jake whispered, catching up with Venus.
She’d just made it down the roller-coaster stairs and was still trying to catch her breath and thank her creator at the same time. She stopped walking and eyed him over her glasses. The excitement of the meeting was a turn-on, she had to admit, but she wanted to combat his enthusiasm with a dose of reality.
“What do you want? No, seriously,” Venus asked, seeing his grin get bigger. “Tell me where you see this going. Let’s save ourselves a lot of trouble here. Is it the challenge, the excitement of going after a hard case? Is it my miniskirts, the boots … what?”
He started laughing. A full onboard, deep belly laugh. “Dinner. Just dinner.”
Venus shook her head and walked away. Must be the miniskirts, she thought. Gotta go shopping. She couldn’t help but smile. The fun was always in the chase.
TESTS
HER apartment was dark. When she walked through the door, the red light on the answering machine was blinking furiously. She pressed play while she dropped her Bergdorf bags to the floor. Shoes, her only shopping weakness. Two neatly boxed pairs hit the carpet while she ran, fumbling with her clothes. She listened to the messages play through the open door of the bathroom. The first two were Jake Parson. She knew, even though they were hang-ups.
“Hey, Precious, it’s Dad. Uh …” The machine cut off. “Hey, Precious, call me when you get in, it’s important.”
Venus tried not to panic. The last time she’d received one of these cryptic calls her father only wanted to ask if she’d help him shop for her mother’s birthday. After forty years of marriage, you’d think they’d know what each other liked. Not wasting another moment, she came back to the living room and dialed her father.
“Daddy, hi.”
“Hey, Precious.”
“What’s going on?”
Her sweet, strong, and loving father, Henry Johnston. As a child she’d almost forgotten her own name because he only called her Precious. She could feel him walking while he was talking, going somewhere for privacy. The movement of being transported on the phone made her dizzy.
“What is it, Daddy?” she asked again, pressing her fingers to her temple.
“Hold on.” He continued walking.
“Sorry about that. Had to move to my room.” That meant he was standing up against a wall with his hand in his khaki pants pocket with his shirt hanging over his fifty-year-old belt. His room was a hobby station for his model train collection. The massive display took up the entire center of the room, complete with tiny towns, railroad stations, and farms.
“It’s about your mother. Tests. She didn’t want you to know. She didn’t want anyone to know. But I need to tell you.”
“What kind of tests?”
“The doctor found a cyst in her breast.”
Venus held her breath. She could feel the heat flush through her cheeks. “A cyst?” Her mouth turned dry and her knees buckled. The couch in the living room was only a step away if she could make it.
“They want to go in and take a sample, find out what kind of cells they are.”
“Oh, God, when did all this happen? What do you mean, she didn’t want me to know? Oh God!”
“Hold on, now. We both can’t be wrecks. I need you to tell me everything is going to be all right. I can hardly see straight right now. I’m scared out of my mind. I need a calm head here.”
“Oh, I know, yes, of course, everything is going to be fine. When is the test?” Venus swallowed the urge to cry.
“In the morning. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost—”
“Daddy, no. Don’t think like that. I could tell by the way she was acting when she came over Saturday something wasn’t right. Oh, God.” Venus was trying to hold on to herself, but it was difficult. What if it was cancer?
“A biopsy?” She wrapped her arms around her stomach. She needed to be strong for her father. “What time is the test?”
“First thing in the morning. You can’t come, Precious. She’ll be mad, full of shame, and I don’t want her more upset than she already is.”
“I’m not, I wouldn’t show up like that. But I want you to call the minute, the second, you are out of that doctor’s office with the results.”
“This is bad, pretty bad. I’ve never loved anyone like I love your mother.” His breathing slowed, as if remembering something. “We may have our problems. We’ve always had sort of a shaky thing going from the outside, people probably wondered how we made it this long, but I wouldn’t trade a minute, not a day, with your mother. I love her.”
“I know you do, Daddy. I love her, too.”
“No, Precious, I don’t think you understand. Pauletta and I … your mother is my soul. If I lost her, you may as well bury me, too.”
Venus almost tripped over the shopping bag, not seeing from the blur of tears in her eyes, trying desperately to get to the
bathroom tissue roll.
SHE hung up feeling wrung out of shape. Nothing worked, her arms and legs stayed frozen as she stood in the middle of the floor, the purple wall pushing toward her. She thought about her mother staring at it, pictured her standing in the exact same spot. Possibly feeling the same way, as if it would fall forward, crushing her, stopping her from taking another breath. She picked up her coat and ran out of the apartment.
The cold night air felt good. She could breathe out here. Pray and God would hear her, out here. She stopped at the corner and pushed the pedestrian signal. She hurried across the street in front of the line of headlights, waiting impatiently. On the other side she didn’t know which direction she wanted to go. Wilshire Boulevard was an endless stretch of restaurants, boutiques, and office buildings. What she really craved was open space. A rural thicket of trees, a park bench to sit on, somewhere she could beg for God’s help in private. Break down and ask for mercy, ask that her mother be all right. It’d been a while since she asked for any favors, wanted any special attention. She didn’t ask for much, never had. A promotion, a safe trip as she boarded a plane, a blessing to the mother of a missing child on the news. Simple things. But this required concentration, hands clasped, eyes shut tight. Dear God…
A bus stop with large Plexiglas panels surrounding a bench came into sight. Venus sat down and inhaled cautiously, spent from walking. She put her head down and put her hands together. She felt the air move briskly in front of her face as cars passed by, the sound of traffic graphically loud.
Soon she didn’t hear anything but her own thoughts, her own words. Her own fears, and desires. She’d figured a long time ago that there was no difference between the two. Fear and desire came from the same deep place of the soul, wanting something so badly that it surpassed all logic and reasoning. She understood the consequences of both but couldn’t stop herself from asking … dear God … please make my mother okay. I can’t lose her. Please, God. She sat still, letting a spray of dust surround her face while a bus stopped, then took off again. I can’t lose her, Daddy can’t lose her. Tim wouldn’t make it either. You’ve got to help, you’ve got to make this right. Venus stayed in one spot until she heard God concede, a confirmation letter very plainly written, ask and you will receive. She’d been taught that in the days of patent leather and pigtails, ask and you will receive.
SHE sat in front of the TV chewing on the inside of her cheek. A long night awaited her. She’d already called Airic three times, two pages, and nothing in return.
Just like Daddy, now she needed someone to tell her it would be all right. Funny how people needed to pass the burden of information, as if it weighed too much in their own possession. It had to be shared to feel relief. Spread around and thinned down as if it would lose potency if one more person knew.
The phone shook in her hand. It had to be Airic on the cell. “Yes.”
“What’s going on, what’s so urgent?”
“I thought you’d never call. I’m sitting here going crazy. My mom is going in for tests tomorrow. There was a spot on her mammogram.”
“Babe.” He stalled for a minute. “I’m sorry. You all right?”
“No. I’m not all right. Why is it that you can never be found? This is just so ridiculous, you out there and me out here. It wouldn’t be so bad if you were reachable, but it’s like you’re underground or something.”
“Hey, hey, now, calm down.” Airic’s emotional reserve could only fill a glass halfway. His first reaction to anything was to look at it logically, what could be done to fix the problem. “Your mom’s going to be fine. No matter what the results show. It’s not 1980, not even 1990. This is 2000; medicine has come a long way. First things first, finding the best doctor for her case. In the morning, get on the horn, check into doctors in the area who specialize in women’s breast issues.”
She sniffed and wiped using the sleeve of Airic’s flannel shirt.
“Your mother isn’t the type to let something happen to her, she’s a fighter. Just like her daughter, a fighter. This thing doesn’t stand a chance against a Johnston. There’s nothing conclusive, right?”
“Right.” Her sarcasm made it obvious it wasn’t the only thing making her cry.
“Listen, there is nothing, or no one, more important to me than you. Don’t ever think it’s not you I’m working for. I’m trying to get to you like you’re trying to get to me. It’s a constant work in process. When I’ve got all these business issues tied up, we’re taking a long vacation … alone. Might even make use of that ring I put on your finger.”
Venus stared down at the solitaire diamond she’d been wearing for two long years. It looked far bigger through the kaleidoscope of her tears. “Everything is going to be fine, baby,” he reassured her before she rolled over in an exhausted ball. “Your mom is going to be fine. You know it. Tell me you know it.”
She stayed quiet, not knowing if she wanted to partake in such a simplistic thought. Not knowing if she wanted to be an accomplice to such naïveté. “She will,” she said quietly. Then, “She’ll be fine,” strong and loud in a definitive declaration. Venus held on to Airic’s words of encouragement. As soon as she fell asleep the phone rang again. She opened the cell phone in her hand, still scrunched in a fetal ball on the couch. “Hello.” Somewhere, a phone was still ringing. She closed her cell, then reached for her home line.
“Did I wake you?” Jake Parson sounded quiet and humble.
“Now’s not a good time.” Her words came out as thick as her tongue.
“Oh, I see. Okay.”
“No. Wait. Can I call you back? I just need to regroup for a minute.”
“Sure.”
Venus ran to the bathroom and threw water on her face. She studied her eyes in the mirror. Tired. The news about her mother had already sucked ten years off her life. She pulled out her toothbrush and dabbed a little toothpaste on it. She brushed, grateful for the tingling spearmint.
When she was younger, she and her brother each had their own box of Arm & Hammer baking soda, sticking their wet toothbrushes in and coming out with white caked powder. The gritty powder made her want to rinse and spit before she got the job done. Her brother … she closed her eyes. She’d already had her allotment of tears for one night. She’d call him tomorrow.
She slid into her bed, bringing the phone and Jake’s number with her. “Hi, now what can I do with you, I mean for you?” Venus squeezed her eyes shut, cursing herself for the faux pas.
Jake was polite enough not to take notice. “What do you think about going to Lila Kelly directly, skip the agents, skip the management? My friend hooked me up with two tickets to her concert, backstage passes, after party, the works. We could—”
“We?”
“Of course. You think I’m going to give you the tickets and let you kick it with honey while I’m sitting at home playing solitaire? I don’t think so.” He coughed the words out.
Venus rolled over on her side. “I don’t know. Isn’t there some kind of ethics line we’d be crossing? Approaching someone without representation?”
“We’re not talking dollars, not trying to get any contracts signed. We’ll just get in and see how it sits with her. Look, I just don’t see the point in pushing this idea without a willing participant. I need to know where she stands. What she’s about.”
Venus thought … what harm could it do? She already worked with him daily. One added night wouldn’t hurt.
“I’ll go with you.” She faded off, closing her eyes.
“Good deal. The concert is Thursday.”
“Jake.”
“Yeah?”
“Will you do me a favor, a huge favor, and not discuss this with anyone? … Legend or William.”
“I wouldn’t think of it. I have double the reasons that you do.”
“Oh yeah, like what?”
“Like one, I don’t need anyone accusing me of sucking up to the pretty lady with the pretty smile, accusing me of preferential treatm
ent. I wouldn’t want anyone to think we were on a date. I have my standards.”
“Ohhhh, yeah, right.” Venus rolled back over, staring up at the ceiling fan. She’d been here before. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“See you in the Starbucks line.”
Venus hung up with the pretty smile on her face. For a minute she’d forgotten about her mom and dad. But only for a minute.
STRAWS
VENUS was in a fog, right along with the fuzzy layer that surrounded the morning air. The traffic didn’t faze her. She looked straight ahead, then shifted her vision to her cell phone every time she inched forward. She was waiting for her father to call with news about her mother. The longer it took to get downtown, the better. She’d be no good anyway with the anxiety that was crawling up her spine.
Pauletta Johnston, and her no-nonsense take on life, was all Venus could think about. She could only imagine her mother’s way of dealing with this … she was either going to live or die, period. No middle ground, no brighter side. Things are what they are. If the tests came back positive, she would simply throw up her hands and claim that it’s her time. There would be no chemotherapy, no radical surgeries, no visits to healers. It struck Venus how different she and her mother were, complete opposites, seeing things from extreme sides of the fence. But then again, that straight line between them, she on one end and Venus on the other, had served more as a link, a true connection that led to deeper understanding.
Venus believed in every abstract theory known to humanity, while her mother kept herself grounded in her Baptist beliefs, no time for the free spirits of the world. But what about the power of positive thinking, the ability to change the outcome of things? Venus had come home from college filled with questions about the universe after a trying first semester. A load of twenty-eight credits, an affair with her computer class instructor, rooming with an eccentric roommate who lit candles and incense all day while the teachings of Krishnamurti played loud on the tape player. She’d closed her door, but it seeped in anyway. Venus had absorbed it through the air, the burning incense, through the walls, the words and theories, freedom of the mind. She’d tried to explain to her mother the concept, the power of the mind. Pauletta simply shook her head, not bothering to look up while she prepared the corn bread stuffing for Thanksgiving, “God set those plans in motion long before you could believe in anything. The only thing you do with all that thinking is take the long way.”
Would I Lie to You? Page 6
