“You ready?” Jake had to tap her twice before she reacted. The vision of wearing sunglasses and a London Fog hat and coat, reading the quantities on the boxes, deciding between light flow or heavy, still on her mind.
“Five minutes,” the perspiring bodyguard said before stepping off to the side and opening the dressing room door.
The pretty young woman was sitting on a leather couch looking through a magazine. “Hi.” She smiled brightly. Her tanned skin flush with makeup and dark heavy eyeliner. Underneath it all, Venus thought, she looks like a baby playing dress-up. She stood up and put out her hand like she’d been taught to do.
“Jake Parson. This is my associate Venus Johnston. We wanted to talk to you about an offer to be a spokesperson for JPWear.”
Venus chimed in. “Actually, it’s a new line called Feline, an offshoot of JPWear, targeting the young hot urban crowd like yourself. It’s an awesome line of clothing; I can tell you’d love it.”
Lila Kelly smiled brightly again. She sat back down on the couch. “You guys are the ones that put out the T-shirts with my face plastered on ’em. You know I hated that cover shot of me? My eyes looked too close together. Now I hate the T-shirts.”
Venus went into auto-damage control. “That picture of you happened to sell half a million T-shirts. You are beautiful, intelligent, and incredibly talented. That’s what people are buying. All of you. Not just a pretty face. You’re so much more than that, Ms. Kelly JPWear knows that. That’s why we want you to head the new line.”
Her voice was husky, lower than the soft mellow singing voice on her records. “Cool. Would I get to pick out what I wear? Design some stuff?”
“That’s something we’d have to work out—”
“Of course,” Venus countered. “Of course. We think your style is incredible.”
“Someone picks my clothes for me. Well, not everything.” She lifted her foot wearing a pointed-toe boot. “I got these on Fifth Avenue when I was in New York. They were screaming my name right through the window. Had to have ’em.”
“Nice.” Venus sincerely appreciated a good boot, or any shoe for that matter. “Do you think it’s something you could do? I know you aren’t allowed to make those kinds of decisions without representation, but is it something you’d like to do?”
“Of course, I can make that kind of decision. I’m eighteen. I can do whatever I want to do.”
Except pick out her own clothes, Jake’s eyes said. He pulled out a business card. Venus snatched it from his hand and pushed it into her own pocket. “Okay, great. We’ll be in touch. Wait till you see the jeans with the fur on the sides, you are going to fall backward for these. They’ll go with those boots, too.”
“Could I keep some of the clothes, after I model them?”
“Of course,” Venus said before Jake could get technical. She could see him putting together small print in his head. Decisions always came with a cost.
“So you guys going to stay for the concert or did you just come to ask me about the clothes deal?”
The question threw Venus. She zeroed in on the bright eyes underneath the heavy makeup. She was a smart girl. Intuitive and shrewd. Funny how those traits got overshadowed by beauty and talent.
“We came to hear you sing. You have a beautiful voice,” Venus said assuredly, waving good-bye while the large escort used his body to cut off the conversation. “We’ll be out there.” Venus squeezed the words out before the door was closed in her face.
Venus put an arm around Jake’s shoulder, then quickly removed it. Caught up in the moment. “That was perfect. Wow. She’s something else. I really think this is going to work out. Print ads, commercials. With a recognizable voice like that, we could even do radio.”
“We?” He blinked cautiously. “You thinking about staying with my company?”
“No. I am not thinking of staying with your company. I have a very good job that I enjoy, thank you very much.”
“Well, what if Lila Kelly’s only willing to follow through if you’re with JPWear? What if she only wants you? You could stay here and take care of your mother.” He nudged her with his elbow.
“Good one, but I don’t think I’m the lure here. And that’s a low blow trying to use my mom. She doesn’t need me anyway.” Venus slipped into a moment of sadness.
The seats of the theater began to fill. People were mulling about, trying hard to find something to do so they could be seen before the lights went down. Flash and glitter, miniskirts and furs. Venus felt matronly in her skirt, sweater, and leather jacket, even though fashion had always been her strong suit.
“Our seats are over here.”
“Umph.” A woman cleared her throat and made her girlfriends look in Jake’s direction, ignoring Venus altogether.
“You have a devilish effect on women.”
“All except the one I want.” The curtains bumped around with movement. Lila’s band was getting into place. The lights dimmed; “Got to Get You into My Life” started playing loud enough to make people think for a moment Earth, Wind & Fire themselves were on stage. The beat moved through their seats. The excitement was building. The audience started clapping, calling out her name, L-i-l-a, L-i-l-a. Venus found herself joining in, looking at Jake while he did the same. His face was lit with energy. Another side of him, free of concern.
The music switched; this time it was Lila’s music. The curtains pulled back and at the same time, mini-smoke bombs went off onstage behind the drummer and three guys with horns. The crowd roared. “Ladies and gentlemen, the incomparable Lila Kelly.”
The voice boomed out of nowhere, and then she appeared. Dressed fully in white leather jeans with studs down the side, a leather vest that barely closed showing her flat tummy and belly button, and to top it off, her leather boots, the only thing she hadn’t changed out of since they’d met earlier. Her smile opened with her arms. The crowd felt the invisible hug and let out sincere appreciation. “How you doin’, L.A.?” She went to the other side of the stage, strutting in her tight jeans. “I said … how you doin’?” The left side of the audience screamed louder. “Now, that’s what I want to hear.” The band kicked in with heavy drums and horns; Lila spun around and started singing her number one song.
Before Venus knew it, she was up on her feet, dancing to the music, feeling the deepest rhythm played from the bass guitar, the drums, the beat fully through her body. Jake was next to her, dancing in his space. The entire theater had turned into one big nightclub. “Thought you didn’t do concerts,” Jake screamed near her ear, the only way she would have heard him.
Venus beamed a smile, doing the last dance she remembered, and doing it well. Some things you never forget. She’d needed this, to laugh and throw her head back, letting her tonsils show. The exhilaration of not caring whether she looked sleek and sexy, only pure movement. But she must’ve been doing something right, because Jake stopped watching the stage and started watching Venus.
When the music slowed to the next intro, the crowd screamed again. “Someone Like You,” the slow ballad that had women, young and old, believing in love again. Lila’s soft crisp voice sailed out over the speakers, filling the room, commanding full attention. She addressed the audience, “Have you ever stopped and asked yourself … where did love go? Why has it passed me by?” Lila hummed again, and women from the audience screamed, Tell it, girl. “But then he came along. Oh yeah, the man that stopped your breath, made you feel sexy when you hadn’t done a thing. Hadn’t changed a thing, no new clothes or teeth brightener, no fancy workout outfit”—the women laughed on cue—“but he saw it. That spirit, that ecstasy … that deep down well full of love, been there all along, waiting, waiting, for someone like you …” She broke into the song.
“She’s good,” Jake turned to Venus, but stopped short when he noticed her eyes full of sadness. Or hope? He took her in his arms and held her. Held her while the tears soaked the crease of his chest. Venus held on, like it was a dangerous ride with long yield
ing curves. She let him move her from side to side, her arms wrapped around his neck.
“Well, let me tell you boys and girls, anything good is worth waiting for. And when it’s damn good, you’ll be thanking the heavens above that it took so long.” Lila’s backup singers fell into chorus.
Venus coughed a laugh mixed with sadness. What did she know, this girl-woman? How could she know about this burden of heart and soul? It took Venus a lifetime and she knew she still hadn’t gotten it right.
Jake swayed her from side to side. She closed her eyes, letting her heart and mind get swept away.
BRIGHT LIGHTS
THE concert with Jake had been fun, a little good-time relief she’d needed desperately. Yet walking in and seeing her mother propped up on pillows watching television erased all memory. She’d come in fully prepared to tell her mother about meeting Lila Kelly. More important, bumping into Clint at the hospital the other day. But none of it mattered. Venus didn’t feel the urgency once she walked into her mother’s bedroom.
At one point, Pauletta would have lived for that kind of drama. Today she looked calm and unconcerned. Not worrying about covering her azaleas for the winter mornings. Not checking on Daddy to make sure he wasn’t eating in the living room. Not talking on the phone giving firm advice to her brother or sisters about their grown children.
Her parents’ bedroom was exactly the same way as it had always been. Beige walls. Dark teak dresser and headboard, thick tarnished brass mirror with a blue dried flower display hanging with a large wired bow in the center. A huge antique frame housed an old black-and-white wedding portrait of Pauletta and Henry. Venus had studied that picture like it was the Last Supper with Jesus and his disciples. The stiffness of her mother and father as they stood side by side, he in a heavy wool suit, and her mother wearing a sharply tailored gown with a square neck and half sleeves. Simple, no frills. There was a hint of joy in her mother’s eyes. A sense of relief.
Venus used to stand on the bed, holding on to the headrail, on tiptoes, to kiss her father in the picture, “I now take you as my awfully wedded husband.” Lawfully, her father would correct her while scooping her up in his arms. She’d asked him a hundred times, what lawfully meant. He’d explain, “When you’re bound by the laws of marriage to love and protect that person, just like I do with your mother.” The word awfully still stuck in her head, some sort of Freudian slip.
The scent of her mother’s Jergens lotion lingered in the room. Even now, Pauletta was still on the left side of the bed, nearest to the wall where she’d always slept. Venus sat down in Henry’s space.
“Hi, Mom.” Venus kissed Pauletta on the forehead. “Can I get you anything?” She ran a hand across her cheek, kissed her mother again.
“Can you turn the channel? Last thing I want to see is Judge Judy those people spewing nonsense.”
“The remote’s in your hand, Mom.”
“I know. Your daddy put it there, but I’m not feeling like I can push the buttons.”
Venus looked down at her mother’s fingers limply wrapped around the remote. She slipped it out of her hand with ease. “Did you feel that, Mom?”
“I didn’t say I can’t feel anything, I just don’t have the strength to push the buttons.”
“Is that normal?” Venus stood up and didn’t wait for an answer. “Daddy,” she called out twice. Henry and Timothy both came running up the stairs in a short burst of panic. The weight of them both caused the floorboards to creak.
“What’s going on?”
“Is it normal for Mom not to be able to move her hand, her fingers? I think we need to call the doctor.”
“Venus, it’s normal,” Timothy offered, a little frustrated by the anticipation of a real crisis.
“She’s going to have therapy three times a week to start her muscles moving again.” Henry reached across and touched Pauletta’s shoulder. “You need anything, sweetheart?”
“I think we should call the doctor. She can’t even change the channel. How much strength does it take to change the channel?” Venus presented the question looking for a reasonable answer.
“Oh, Lord. She’s been here all of fifteen minutes and here we go.” Pauletta let out a sigh. “Push my pillows up a little, Henry.”
Venus stood with her arms crossed over the wet spot on her blouse. Her father came around the other side of the bed and scooted the pillows higher.
“You don’t want me here, Mom? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Not if you’re going to keep up this neurosis,” Pauletta said, now propped high enough to look Venus in the eye. Crinkled white hairs were edging from underneath the silk scarf tied tightly around her head. “I can’t take any more of you making things out to be more than they are. Quit being so wound up.”
Venus looked over at Timothy, standing with his hands pushed in his faded jean pockets. Then to her father, flipping the channel. Her mother’s eyes were still focused on the television, all three of them acting as if all was well.
“I have to go.” Venus grabbed her purse. Pauletta didn’t respond, only stared straight ahead.
“Oh, now, Precious.” Her father followed her down the stairs.
“I’m upsetting Mom. She needs to rest. She’s right, I’m doing nothing but complaining, making her feel worse.”
Henry stayed close as she went out the front door. “Now wait a minute, that’s enough. I’ve never known you to be so selfish. Where’s this coming from? Seems like the last few times I’ve seen you, you’ve had your fists balled up.”
“I can’t stand it. You guys acting like all’s well that ends well This is a tragedy and I want something done about it. She’s up there like a rag doll; she’s half there, Dad, and you guys are just taking it in stride. Am I the only one disgusted by all this?”
“Taking it in stride. Have you lost your mind?”
Venus focused on the thick line running across her father’s forehead, the intense glare in his eyes. Surprisingly, his voice still came out even and calm. “Nobody is taking this lightly. Especially not me. But I’m not going to sit up there trying to make her feel bad. You don’t know what she’s feeling deep down, that’s Pauletta’s way She’s not going to sit there quivering and pitiful waiting for someone to save the day. ’Cause nobody can do it. Not me, not Timothy, and not you. Support, Venus. That’s what she needs. Not the constant searching for something wrong, something to fight about. The doctor did the best she could, and even if it wasn’t the best, it’s done now. We’ve got to deal with it.”
“Now,” he said, gathering a second wind, “it’s very simple, you’re either in or you’re out. I’m not going to have this anymore. You either come with full support or don’t come at all.”
Venus watched him turn and walk away His angled shoulders moved in one full motion to swing the door open to go back inside. Timothy managed to slip out before the screen shut. He gave her a look to let her know he wasn’t next. He’d spare her the lecture.
“You all right?”
She and Timothy stood in front of the pink stucco house with the brown composite roof, both staring out past the perfectly manicured carpet of grass.
“I can’t stand it,” she said, hoping the impending tears understood the consequences of showing up again. “I love her so dearly, and what’s happened is so wrong. I’m angry, Timothy. I don’t know any other words for it. I’m mad, and there’s nothing you can say to make me feel any different.”
“You’re angry at Mom, or the disease?”
Venus turned away, her arms folded over her chest. She didn’t want him to start up with the psychoanalysis.
“If you can’t tell me,” he said, stepping closer, “at least think about it for yourself.”
She knew there was something deep-seated at the root of her anger, but it didn’t lessen the facts. Her mother had been treated like a second-class citizen. If she’d had money, the kind that could buy a doctor’s second opinion, or a third, they wouldn’t be having this c
onversation. Mostly, she was angry that her mother had felt like it was something to be ashamed of, a dirty little secret like cousin Albert wanting to make her his child bride. Or maybe it was only Venus who Pauletta hadn’t wanted to know. Fear that, after all these years of posturing, her daughter would find out that she wasn’t perfect, that she was merely human.
She leaned on Timothy’s narrow chest, still trying not to cry. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She started down the concrete path to the street where her car was parked. She passed the handprints that they’d made in the concrete. Venus and Timothy, 1974. The flower Venus had drawn with a stick now looked like a crab missing its claws.
“I’m leaving in the morning,” Timothy called behind her.
Venus stopped on the stairs and turned around. “Africa?” she said in jest, but unable to put a smile behind it.
“No. Not yet. Heading back to Boston.”
“I’ll take you to the airport. What time?”
“Eight o’clock flight.”
“I’ll be here at six.” She blew a kiss and waved.
Her cell phone rang as soon as she buckled her seat belt. It restricted her from leaning forward to fish it out of her purse. She unsnapped herself and grabbed it too late. Missed call. She clicked to see who it was. Airic. She pressed the button to call him back, closing it before it could ring.
FEELING helpless was the worst part. She had questions that needed answers. The hospital looked empty, abandoned, as Venus drove by The entryway, the double glass doors were a reflection of black. The lights in the hospital had been put on reserve, conserving energy for the California fuel crunch. She parked her car in the even darker parking garage and sat for a moment. She wanted to get her questions together for Dr. Prah. She couldn’t make it a war; like her father said, what’s done is done. But not in Venus’s mind; she was sick to her stomach about the whole situation. The way her mother had been handled. It infuriated her, the thought of Dr. Prah tossing her mother’s file aside to look at the next, and the next, as if a life, a beautiful full life was not at stake.
Would I Lie to You? Page 13
